So how do you usually dress when you see a provider? Do you dress casually or better than you usually do?

Personally, I like to dress nice all the time, so it doesn't really change that much, but I'll still try to wear something I really like. I guess I like to make a good impression, although clothing comes off all the same whatever you wear, I suppose!

For me, it depends on whether or not I've seen the client before, if the appointment is incall or outcall, and how much notice I am given.  If I've seen the client before and it's incall, I try to dress in something sexy... usually a piece of simple lingerie.  If it's outcall or I haven't seen the client before, then it's usually some sort of business attire with a sexy flair.  If I don't have much notice (this really grates on my nerves) and actually decide to take the appointment, then I usually just see the client in whatever I am wearing at the time.

Some gents go into detail. Others will say go casual. I try to always look nice, again, it depends on what the man wants.

I believe that question was for the gentlemen.

When I first started out, I used to dress-up as though it were a date or at least business casual.  I think a lot of it has to do with your prospective and what you want to get out of the hobby.  I've read how some hobbyist dress as though it were a dinner date and bring flowers and gifts to the appointment.  I think that's cool.  These days, I dress down and comfortable.  I get real clean and try to smell as good as I can, but I wear very loose clothes.  No doubt, currently I'm into the energy of sex and approach the session as though it were message therapy!

casual if I am meeting her in the bar or lobby .... and silk pj bottoms if she's knocking on my door .......

I am basically a dressy person (never so-called "office casual") so I am always sort of "ready to go" at least sartorially. I make some exception to this cases where I must undress and dress again (basically visiting the tailor or seeing a provider) because cuff links, English handmade shoes, ties and the like tend to get in the way of the flow of undressing... I would hate to have the undressing scene out of Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have it"!

My "casual" attire will typically be solid color gabardine slacks, slip-on or monkstrap shoes (Italian, not English), patterned jacket (three button, double vent), and button-cuffed straight collar dress shirt (maybe a fun Turnbull & Asser pattern complementing the jacket). I do not wear jewelry or a watch on provider visits. I never wear cologne since I value olfaction and wouldn't want anything to interfere (to me, wearing cologne to a provider visit is akin to wearing earplugs to the symphony, or touring an art museum wearing sunglasses.)

I usually bring a small gift, and always bring the money in as small envelope... just seems less "street-like" that way.

In terms of grooming, I get manicures and pedicures anyway, and certainly no provider appreciates stubble... well, maybe some, but it is best to err on the side of tidy, I think.

O.

When I first met a very fine lady we were discussing who whe would and would not see.  She told me that she once walked into the the lobby of a very upscale hotel where she was to meet her client for the first time.  She took one look at the way he was dressed and turned around and walked.  The only words spoken were by him asking about what was going wrong.

She said he was dressed in cut-offs and a tee shirt.  It made an impact on me that if I wanted gals of her caliber I'd do well to pay attention to my attire.

Casual, very casual...nice blue jeans and a good looking sweater...sometimes with boxers, sometimes without! The clothes remain on for about 6 milliseconds anyway..so who gives a ...!

The key is (at least for me), not what you wear or how expensive your suits are...unless you're trying to "impress" her or yourself with some bizarre notion of "class". The key is being super clean, have a close shave (balls included), smell like something you want eaten and licked..and be a nice guy! Clothes have yet to make a damn difference...nor should they. And the day they do..lord help us...I am bailing. This game we play I personally believe is all about being honest, respectful, authentic and sharing in much mutual fun.

..."501's and a clean white dress shirt, no underwear please". It's always a pleasure to be jumped when you walk in the door Sometimes I think I'm just being used as a sex toy...Ha!
Works for me.

PT

something in the line of jeans and sport coat be it leather/ suede or wool. Mock neck pull overs are nice or shirts with mandarin collars. I want to be as comfortable as possible and in LA it's pretty laid back here. That's my everyday ware. When it's a dinner date then it's the suit and tie. Oh and by the way.....No underware!!!

It made an impact on me that if I wanted gals of her caliber I'd do well to pay.

I don't know, seems like there should be some type of understanding between client and provider if you're going to an upscale joint like that.

I like the question 'cause I'm never sure what to wear!  Posts a few weeks back suggested that some of the ladies appreciated guys NOT being too casual, and that suits tended to convey respect.  There's a lot to be said for respect, so I've tended to lean in that direction.  Or at a minimum, dress slacks, nice shoes (last visit she commented on how nice they looked), and a dress shirt.  

I'd like to hear from the ladies, ie. what would you like to see your date wearing?

It's depends on what you want from the session.  I think that there is a bit of romance to dressing-up--you're the one who makes that call!  My perspective looks at providers similar to massage therapists.  In addition, I have a strong background in cardio workouts and aerobics together with non-mainstream views on the energy of sex.  As I'm exploring these ideas and fantasies, I tend to leave romance for my personal life, and pick providers who are skilled at sex and its many facets.  Hence, a very relaxed, comfortable attire.  But, for me, if there were ever an issue as to what to wear to a session, I'd just talk to the provider ahead of time!

From my point of view, it comes down to timing, location and context.  

If it's daytime, and you're coming to a hotel, please wear jeans or business casual attire at the most, and try to look casual, as in, "Yeah... I'm an out-of-town consultant here just popping into my hotel room to watch a little ESPN and waste a little time before my flight back."  Carry something like a newspaper, not flowers and a candy box.  If you are bringing flowers and a box of candy, put it in a convenience store plastic bag.  She should be wearing the same (all the good stuff is on underneath anyway).

Going to her incall location during the day?  Wear jeans and a polo, commando, as in, "Hiya, just in the neighborhood, stopping by to see a friend."

It is very hard (for me, at least) to walk into a hotel smelling like a rose petal in high heels and leave in an hour looking disheveled with that just-been-rolling-around-in-the-haystack and 1/2-the-makeup-I-had-an-hour-ago look.  It would be much easier to look that way when I leave without attracting attention in jeans, or something daytime not-quite-business-casual.  Most providers are pretty good looking women that attract attention in nearly vacant hotel lobbies at 2:00 p.m., and to be honest, I think the high heels and cocktail dress look WAY out of place in a hotel setting anyway.  Gotta have it?  Put it in a duffle bag and change upstairs in private.  NEVER go into the hotel lobby restroom; you have a room upstairs, right?

If it's evening at a hotel, men's dress should be business casual, saying, "Out to meet/returning from dinner with a bunch of friends or coworkers," or at an incall location, "Just stopping by to pick her up for dinner."  For her, there is more cause to wear dressier clothes, but NOT formal (drawing more attention), and clothing that is not overtly revealing, saying, "Hi, I'm a hooker getting on the elevator and you'll probably notice me leaving again in an hour or so with the just been ****ed look about me."  It's not the other hotel guests I worry about, because you are very much less likely to run into them again on the way out -- it's the hotel staff, particularly the concierge, because his job is "to notice."  If passing by a concierge, it is best to come and go together as acquaintances.

As for incall locales which are not hotels, your clothes should suit the neighborhood.  If it's out in the 'burbs, don't wear a formal suit; wear a suburbanite's clothing like jeans or business casual at the most.  For downtown, wear business casual; you could be going anywhere.  For urban neighborhoods, PLEASE wear jeans, saying, "Just out walking the dog," and keep moving.

Overall, have purpose and direction.  Don't dally around looking nervous or undecided.

Just my opinion on the subject,

BJ, Palm Beach, FL
[email protected]

Seriously, I will generally dress casually:  Dockers and a nice shirt.  My shoes are always shined so that's no issue.  I always wear clean underwear just in case I get hit by a truck on the way over.  No need to be laughed at in the ER!

If the date involves some horizontal activity, like lunch or dinner, my wardrobe will change to whatever may be appropriate.  On most dinner dates, a blue blazer with nice slacks and a dress shirt, usually no tie (I'm retired and always really hated them anyway).  On one date, which involved opera ticklets, I wore a tuxedo.

On a lighter note, or perhaps a sad not, I had a dinner date this past summer in Washington DC.  The weather was so unbearably hot that when the question arose as to clothing, I told the provider that due to the heat I would wear khakis and a golf shirt, and that she should I suppose dress accordingly.  She showed up dressed to the nines, good enough for some embassy cocktail party.  It was the first indication that this was not going to be the fun time I had hoped for, and in fact this date has the lowest score I have ever given on a review on TER.

Before demonstrating your primitive views, you might find that dressing well will assist you in all areas personally and professionally. I, for one, demand that my employees dress with utmost professionalism as I have found professional appearance in salespeople has a decided impact on the bottom line.

When people dress well, they tend to behave with greater confidence; I keep an image consultant on retainer to train my staff to dress optimally for their coloration, proportion, etc. and I find this a worthy investment... my business is publishing and it is a culturally and stylistically demanding world, especially in NYC.

There is enough uncertainty in the world and in business that I am a firm believer in controlling as many factors as possible; appearance is one of the few variables that can be controlled and planned totally. I like that.

Your notion that people "need to see providers" belies your lack of confidence, and you are clearly threatened by men who are more capable of control than you are. If you would ditch your inevitable baseball cap (backwards, I'm sure), cheap Timberland boots, sweatshirt and Old Navy chinos for something more refined you might be amazed at how much better you are received.

I also collect wines, modern art, am on a symphony board of directors, and own both an arts magazine and a fashion magazine. To most people, I am successful and cultured. If you prefer to think of this as "gay", go right ahead. I'll be sure to wave at your pickup when you deliver manure to my gardener sometime.

O.

-- Modified on 1/31/2003 11:10:20 PM

The verbal repetoire and style is somewhat reminiscent of Niles.

Very good points!

Joey

Great post, very well put. Always try to blend in, that's the way to go.

I may rethink my approach now.

I have stayed in several 4 star joints (including the Breakers, BJ FYI) and had local gals come over.  I have been rather casual in my aproaching the consierge about dinner recommendations etc. with a lady on my arm.  I have obviously registered as a single guest and she did walk through the lobby about 2 hours prior wearing upscale sexy attire.

My view has always been, so what.  I have counted, successfully so far, on their discression.  I have paid a lot of money to stay there and assumed that they know what goes on when men are out of town on business.  It's not that I am shoving it in their face, but I don't try and hide much either.  I also assume that they really have no way of knowing that I've paid a lady or just know a hot looking friend who is a local.  Heck, once I even bought two rooms for a friend of my ATF so that after the three way play she could leave us alone for the rest of the night.

One thing I try to be cognisent of is that I not embarass the lady in my behavior.  I realize that she may be back similarly attired next week.

The thing is that she was in a position where she could decline the money and pick and choose.  He was not chosen.  I can only assume that he had the money since she made it clear on her web site what the arrangements were and given that she always makes phone contact as part of her screening.

I dress CLEAN & casual. It is only in this great forum that a woman judges me for just me and not for my clothes, zeroes or lack of them in my bank statement. From what I have read of some provider feedback "Clean & Groomed" seems to be a favored trait.

Heh, I knew David Hyde Pierce back "in the day" when he was at the Oslo in St. Pete's... actually Niles is so dissimilar to David that it is hard for me to see "Niles" but I must smile at the comparison; I am not so thin, though, which is a defining characteristic of "Niles".

I am the first to admit that I am beyond the pale in terms of being sort of culturally and intellectually demanding, and this offends and/or threatens a lot of people... which is fine, and to each their own, and it is nice to have a filter to cull the dross.

I happen to NOT enjoy drinking from a keg, eating Campbell's condensed soups, or wearing perma-press shirts... some love such a life-style, and bully for that: variety is the spice of life, and what would be life in NYC without cabbies.

So, better Niles (or Major Winchester, etc) than Archie Bunker, at least for me.

O.

Excellent, BJ, and that's for the chuckle it gave me!

Sedona

For two reasons, I'm always dressed to the nines.  For one thing, I wear a suit and tie to work practically every day.    Since I usually go to encounters straight from my office, I'll be in my business garb.  Second, like any other date, first impressions are very important.  So, when I show up at a lady's door, recently shaved and showered, in a pressed suit a freshly-laundered shirt, I'm always well-received.  It seems to send the right signals to my date.  It's also a sign of respect for the lady.  

-- Modified on 2/2/2003 12:01:03 PM

.. most of which come from the laundry room I share with my generous college graduate son. What a guy he is !!

I treat SPs as I would any respected date I'm meeting that I'm excited about: Italian suit, recently shined shoes, new socks and underwear, just showered, shaved and fresh-breathed.  I work on Wall Street and work in a young company where stepping out for social events after work is the norm; the hip, single, impeccable look has always been "me", and has been especially well-received among the girls.  

Given how much girls remark on my style of dressing and personal hygiene, many of the hobbyists appear to border on the casual; a date with a SP is as much a date with me as with any girl I meet.  It's a matter of respect to her!