However absolute majority cheats because they can. Does not matter who they are married to.

The End.

The Arnold subject sure sparked some interesting conversation this week.   I wish that regular civi women can read this.  The reason why men cheat is because they are NOT taken care of tby thier women (they are NOT having sex).  It does not take a Dr. to figure this out.  That is why providers MAKE GREAT wifes or girl friends.  Because they know this and take care of thier man.  I dated and married a provider and she takes care of me all the time, anytime, never says NO.  Sucks my cock while I'm driving, in the house, in the mall (changing rooms).  SHe is not a provider now, however, she has the right mind set.  Just like if men did not take care of thier ladies.  When guys are not emotionally attached is when women seek other love and have an affair.  Does anyone disagree with me.  I would love to hear if you agree or disagree?  Have a great weekend.  I'll be having a lot of SEX!

at least as long as you've been married to her, and probably while you were dating if she took such great care of you.

Which means you've been out of the hobby for a long time, and you've said she is no longer providing.

So neither of you are in the hobby, and have been out for a long time...so why are you still here?

I married because I was getting enough of it at home, but when that dried up, I went right back to it.  So I can honestly relate to the OP's thesis.

However, are there married guys out there getting it regularly and still want to hobby?

My guess is yes, but I can't say that I've heard this scenario too often.

Many cheat because they can and simply want to not because they are neccessarily missing something at home or in their partner or marriage physically or emotionally. A few times I cheated not because my bf was getting or my nerves or wasn't buying me enough stuff or his manners slipped or he didn't look good, didn't excite me etc ..... I would cheat because I just wanted that other guy pure and simple.

I am only posting under an alias because, for some strange reason both other posters have.  I agree with RealityChecks.  Sure, lots of guys cheat because their wives tire of sex.  But a huge number -- including me -- like sex with providers because we are just horndogs and want to get with as many hot women as we can, no strings attached.
PS:  I'll save you the trouble.  Vince Clortho was The GateKeeper in Ghost Busters, as played by the extra nerdy Rich Moranis.  Why did I pick it as an alias?  No fucking ideal, I just like the way it sounds.

My sex life at home is fine, thank you.  My wife knows a lot more about what turns ME on than any provider that I have yet to meet.  I would agree, though, that most married men usually hobby because something is missing from their lives, be it danger, romance, variety or (often but not always, sex), or something else.

One of the reasons that I like the hobby and prefer to remain "single" is because I like variety.  Look what happened to Tiger Woods ...LOL ...he would have been way better off remaining single.

On the other hand, if I were married, I would quite the hobby ...but for how long?  Only time would tell ...LOL.

I tell them I like to take a poll (some of you are reading this and smiling, I'm sure!).  I ask if they're with me because 1.  their wives no longer put out; or 2.  they like the variety; or 3.  Other / fill in the blank.  

My very informal and unofficial results indicate that a small majority - maybe 60% - say they like the variety and would hobby no matter what their spouses do.  But quite a few say that they only do so because they're not getting what they need at home - their spouses are not interested, or have medical issues, or they're just 'like roommates' now, or whatever.

I began asking my clients as a way to try to better understand men.  Really all I have learned is that everyone is different.

Two sons from different moms were born one week apart. Your explanation doesn't work. He was getting it upstairs and downstairs during the same time period.

I would say that you are right.  When seperate vacations start and it starts getting longer between fun time and she keeps putting on weight ya a good reason to hobby.

You are completely of the mark about rational men. If rational men get satisfaction at home, they know the risks and would think twice or thrice before going down the risky road. I understand, you can counter the argument with many examples, one thing we do not know is, whether they were getting satisfaction at home. So, I stick with my statement. I will also add caveat, I am talking about normal sex acts, not freaky fetishes which many women may not submit themselves to. Golden showers, A to M for example, may not be accepted by many women.

because there are some experiences I have never had.  I realized that I never WOULD have them... frequency & menu continues to shrink at home...  unless I went outside.  I made a choice.  So after 20 years of reasonably successful marriage (contrasting to my first disasterous one)...  I went outside.  I have been having those experiences...  nothing not on a "normal" menu, thank you very much.

I'm married, used to get lots of daily sex, and was loyal. After 25 years of marriage, she still gives me sex two to three times per week, but her attitude is more of get it done to be a good wife. Effort and attitude are not into it and frankly it is boring. Plus we have grown apart, as I want intellectual stimulation as well.

So I do cheat.

If her attitude and skill continued like the past I would not have reason to cheat.

However, I have some friends that cheat regardless because they like the game of the hunt, adventure and variety.

Glad you will be having lots of sex. Way to go!!!

I am looking for a long term mistress from the provider community. Maybe I should look for a former provider as a wife, after reading your comment

Sometimes, but not always. There are men who are married to beautiful sex fiends who want to do it all the time, & guess what... he will still probably cheat on her. Why? Men love variety, & well... after being w/the same women after so long, no matter how attractive, or how well she takes care of him sexually, he will get bored, & cheat. As the old saying goes... 'Show me a beautiful woman, & I'll show you a man who's tired of fucking her".

NAILED IT !!!

Been married over 25 years, aside from trying to make babies had absolutely lousy sex life.  I cheated and still do for the sex; not proud of it, but you get tired of masturbating all the time.

Very true what you say. I see escorts because my wife, whom I love very much, is not very interested in sexual variety. She never initiates sex. She never touchs my package. Oral or anal sex are completely out of the question. Forget about introducing toys in our play. I play because the escorts make me feel appreciated and they give me what my wife won't.

Even if a man is being taken care of sexually at home, he WILL eventually cheat!  It is a male's animal instinct to "divide and concur!"  I truly believe this.

I agree with you in general that men cheat for sex, and women cheat more for emotional reasons.  However, that was not the case with me.  

I was a civie woman most of my adult life.  I was married for 18 years.  I can tell you this: I gave my husband great sex.  I was the aggressor for it most of the time too.  HE never did certain things for me!  Guess what?!  He cheated on me.  Personally, I was happy about it too.  It was my OUT!  He was cold-hearted, and completely boring in bed.  A real "Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am" kinda guy.  I am willing to bet he would LOVE this hobby too.  Because he is a selfish lover.  He can get in, pay, fuck, and get out.  Done.  Of course I am not implying that all men are this way.  This is how he is.

Personally, I absolutely LOVE this hobby because it allows me the opportunity to sow my wild oats!  I enjoy it very much.

I've been happily married to the same woman for 25 years.  But, she's old fashioned and doesn't like doing all the things I like in the bedroom.  15 years ago, at a high school reunion, I hooked up with an old girlfriend.  The sex was incredible, but it was also incredible how much this chick was calling me.  It took me a year to finally get her to leave me alone.  I was a good boy for a few years and then, I thought, I'll go online and meet a married woman who is in the same boat as me so that I can have an affair without any problems.  Wrong!  The women I met online did not look like the photos they put out (and that's being nice).  Some wanted to have sex without a condom.  Sorry!  So, I was a good boy for a few more years but the wife, as much as I love her and as much as I communicated my needs to her, just wasn't up to the task.  7 years ago, I finally started the hobby.  Since then, I've had some incredible experiences with some of the most gorgeous women (including a few duos).  All the while, I've continued to be happily married.  I'm not a bad guy, I work hard, don't gamble or waste money, don't do any type of drugs but I like the ladies and that's how it is.  If I properly dated some of these beautiful women to bed them, I would literally have spent thousands.  Imagine how much better off the IMF guy in New York would have been if he simply called a provider instead of attacking a maid.  The hobby is great and we only live once.  All the best.

The ideal, for me, would be to be married to a woman that understood my desire for variety, and enjoyed it too!  In other words, be with a woman who enjoyed the swinger lifestyle.  What's fair is fair.  If I could get variety, and my wife was not only ok with it, but participated as well, that would be nirvana!  Now finding such a woman isn't easy!

Has anyone been in a swinger relationship?

Sy