Ok, I still feel terrible. Not sure what else I can do. I don’t expect anything from this, I do expect a lot of loaded messages against me. I can take it though, here goes……

I am not one for excuses anymore. I am taking this like a man. The story is I had a scheduled appointment this week with a lady I had seen before. Made the appointment a month in advance and it happened I was in the city she was touring in. The day came, I got ready three to four hours in advance. She was staying about 9 miles away from my hotel, in a very busy tourist city. Big mistake was I decided to take a bus. Left one hour and a half before the scheduled appointment, the ride took almost two hours counting waiting for the bus to arrive and the stops in between. 9 miles turned into almost a two hour bus ride. I was very late, missed the appointment and the lady suggested I could reschedule (not in person, text message).

If that is not bad enough, here comes the worst part. This is the third time this has happened to me with this lady. Now I will own up to it. I misjudge traffic now a day I guess but no excuses, my entire fault. I messaged the lady early the following morning about how I felt, and that I would be willing to donate money to a favorite charity of hers (to use someone else’s terminology from these boards) and apologized about wasting her time.

Now I don’t expect a reply from this lady and I am sure she is pissed and never wants to speak to me again. I get that. I don’t expect people here to give me a pass either. I fully expect to get messages claiming I am a bad person for not being on time, again wasting her time and taking the cheap route with the transportation. All true. To this lady I am so very sorry not that this admission means much.

The truth is I didn’t think much of the first time in which I missed an appointment with her by about 15 minutes. The second missed appointment I did call her about 20 minutes into the appointment again about traffic (I know I suck). This time is the third time and I have struck out so to speak. I don’t hobby on a regular basis, as a matter of fact I’ve only seen two ladies (in the business) in the past eleven years and that is all. The first time was with a provider that was forgettable and a second time with this lady earlier this year. I can say for sure I am going to continue to feel bad about the way things ended up and no longer will I waste this lady’s time again in fear that I will ultimately end up being late again.

Frankly I don’t know what else I can do to make it up to her. Probably not scheduling another appointment is a start. My life has been short thus far (in my 20's) and I have yet to have the experiences that some of you out there have had. But I can say with all honesty after reading posts about this sort of thing, this is the worst I have felt about myself in a long time and I have had some bad moments in my life. I know how bad this makes me look on a number of fronts.

This is me, not giving excuses and not expecting anything in return. Bash me if you must, I can’t say I don’t deserve it but I do feel bad about what happened.

This goes to show you time is the most valuable commodity we have and I continue to take it for granted. What is worse is that I took someone else’s time for granted too.

I don’t know what else to do, or how else to say it. Guys let me be the example. Be on time. It shows you value the time and the lady. I on the other hand have no value at this time. Don’t end up like me.

Again to this lady I am sorry for what I have done, I will learn from it and move on. Okay, let me have it……

First, I am wondering if you had a job and if so, how could you have possibly made it to the interview?

Second, send the lady something.  You can send her an Amazon.com gift-card through email for at least one appointment's fee.  You can find anything on Amazon, including stuff she may have bought with the actual cash she lost through you.

Kate

a no show / last minute cancel means a lady cannot fill your time with another client - someone she may have turned down that wanted an appointment.

Apologize again - and send her some sort of gift.  Does she have a wish list on her website with gift certificates that can be sent via email?  Amazon, Victoria's Secret...

When you're right  You're right !!

Hey, getting to an appointment isn't brain surgery.  Everybody is entitled to one missed appointment.  But three?  

Dr. Freud, who's sitting behind me and looking over my shoulder, is telling me that (1) missing the three appointments and (2) your desire to share your anxiety with the world at such great length is evidence of something else going on.  

I'll let you and the doctor figure that one out.

As for me - what doesn't make sense is why, when you were on the friggin' bus, it wasn't apparent after the first 15 or 20 minutes that this was going to take a long time, and you didn't either get off and find alternative transportation or call the lady and push the appt back.

You say you wasted her time and cost her money.  Make it up to her.  There are plenty of ways to send her value without her ever having to schedule a meeting.  Then stop the poor poor me bit.  It's pathetic.  You don't want absolution (only she can give it) or condemnation (that's inside you if you really mean it).  What you want is attention and that's why this post is here.

...as opposed to old and dumb, lol.

Here's your critical error: You say you "got ready three to four hours in advance", yet you left 90 minutes before the appointment. Son, what were you doing... sitting there waiting to be late? If you're just going to sit there, sit outside HER place, not yours!

Other than that, I agree with Turkana: You have other problems you need to work out. Creating the same grief three times then publishing a public Mea Culpa implies a problem you should discuss with your therapist, not an erotic discussion board.

Whether or not you got your nut you owe this gal. There are some good suggestions in this thread. Reimburse her, and never call her again.

Good luck.

b



-- Modified on 7/1/2006 12:05:40 PM

How many times do i have to tell you that I have the franchise on BINGO.

Now I must see you in the confessional.

Thank you

you do this just to give me a HARD time.

Thank You

As i said you really must see me in the confessional

BINGO..........Wink

Thank You

Anywhere else just doesn't make sense.

I'm with Kate, three flakes=gift card for session fee.

why would anyone agree to a second and then a third missed appointment with you?  The provider brought this upon herself by giving you a third chance. You two must really have something going on we don't know about.

do you have any money? I mean any provider who makes an appointment a month in advance has to be more than just the $150 variety, right? Otherwise they would laugh in your face. Do you own a car? Can you rent a car? Have you every heard of a taxi?

After reading your story, I would say that she got off easy.

reminds me of the slow mating dance I've witnessed during the "Ciara-Bizzaro" tango.
But,unlike you Father, Bizzaro took no celibacy vows!......

You say you've only seen two ladies in the last 11 years so this would be only the 3rd.  You got ready 3 hours in advance?  Yet, you couldn't make it though she was 9 miles away?  That implies a lot of procrastination and hand-wringing in between.

I think the real problem here is your heart isn't in it.  The guilty and despondent tone of your post tells me that you have some extreme self-judgment issues.  Therefore, I think your indecision **might** be a symptom of depression.  So, I agree with Turkana.  

It's possible, though, that I'm wrong, and that maybe you just don't want to hobby as much as you think you do.  If it's a depression, your indecision and guilt aren't going away if you decide not to hobby.

Why should he send her anything? He was a no show, an occupational hazard. When a provider doesn't show should she send the client something? WTF?

And I DO read the board.  Even when I do not post!

Thanks Kate and Number 6, I didn't think about an Amazon gift certificate for the donation amount. I will do this, plus some.

I gave an Amazon gift certificate once before to a close friend after they helped me through a tough time in my life when my mother, father, and brother passed away within a four year period.

BTW I do have a job and a car . Was on a trip and did not have a rental car at my disposal.

I am just unlucky with some choices I make within my life and in general sometimes. All my fault, it just seems to happen to me at the worst times.

This post is so full of it my screen is dripping brown stuff.

Didn't anybody notice the obvious?  He states that he's only seen two ladies in the past eleven years, but then goes on to say that he is 'in my 20's'!?!  WTF??

Unless this guy (assuming it's even a guy) is exactly 29 years old, then his 'first time' eleven years ago would have made him AT BEST an underaged 17-year-old teenager when it happened, and only nine years old, worst case.  In addition, nobody that is 29 states their age as 'in my 20's', or thinks that their 'life has been short thus far'.

Geez, people -- hook, line, and sinker.

atl, some people ARE truthful here. If you get your cynical view from sites like myspace, craigslist, hotornot, other online dating sites, where ever it might be I am sorry. Unless you know for fact about someone, I would suggest you not call others gullible about believing certain posts.

I am 29, just turned it. Born in '77. I am in my 20's and didn't realize there is a protocol you should abide by when stating your age range. I said 20's cause I didn't want to state my actual age but now you have it. So I am in my late 20's, still in my 20's though which is a fact.

I am a guy, 5'11" and 155 lbs. I am Caucasian have a great job but bad luck at times. I have a home, car, and travel.

First time with a provider was just after I turned 18, second time was earlier this year like I stated.

And yes my life has been short considering most people live well into their 70's and 80's and even longer in some cases. Also older people that I know consider me young for the type of position that I have.

Short of drawing you a picture of me, that is as much as I am willing to write.

One thing I don't do is lie and I don't appreciate being accused of being one.

I might be an idiot at times, stupid at other times, suck when it comes to predicting traffic but I don't lie.

Hook, line, and sinker. Seems you miscast for this fish, wrong bait....

Ciara, please call my lawyer...   I have the agents contacting Robert Zemeckis, Dino de Laurentis, Jerry Bruckheimer and others, even as we type!  wow.....   Just think, the adventure, the intrigue, the fun, the raw sexual nature of the story....  the long quest to meet the sexual siren known as Ciara.... Is she real or merely a persona on the internet?  

After a mere 12 hour pilgramige to the far off metropolis in the desert, our hero, the Bizarre one, arrives in the desert outpost, Phoenix.  But alas like the namesake mythological bird, he is so tired that he must sleep and arise refreshed on the next day to meet this goddess of the desert!  And so on and so on... I would not wish to spoil the movie, or in the case of Bizzaro's considerable sexual prowess, the "short before the main movie!" lol!

She arrives, and our hero is so tongue tied, well... what can I say?! but then you know some of the rest... the fire and all that stuff!

I am, even as we speak, being offered millions to the rights of the story!  wow!  fantastic.!  

We are seriously considering John Goodman, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Jack Black, Cheech Marin, Rush Limbaugh, and others to play our caped crusader (oops, wrong guy) I mean our Green Fungal dude.

Wow!  Now If I could just get the dude who watches me to let me out again....   hee hee....

-- Modified on 7/2/2006 9:53:19 AM

Seriously dude, this is the lady's livelyhood.  You have messed with that.  Next time you get your paycheck, imagine your boss walking in and saying to you, I had the checks printed up, but know what, I forgot to bring them with me this morning, and the dog ate them.  For the 3rd time.

What would you think?  Does that help put your pathetic story in perspective for ya?! sheese.  Don't hobby if this is your idea of a great time.  You make it really difficult for the rest of us, not that we don't create enough problems on our own, but this one? we don't need!

He doesn't sound like his sexual maturity could have been normal anyway.  The near-descrepency in age is not as blatant as you describe.  

If it's a joke, it's missing a punchline.  What is it then?  A test?  A survey?  I might as well answer it then.  It seems too loong for the effort for much else.  And no, I'm not embarrassed about anything I wrote.

eom

I was suspicious that a 20 something male would/could write that well, and still be as dumb as he claimed. He should have left some grammatical errors.

Still, a reasonable answer seemed like a better option than making an issue out of personal suspicions. Besides, even a hypothetical "problem" allows us all to zero in on other poster's thoughts on the subject.

Real or fake... it's still a decent subject, don't you think?

b

It could be a melodramatic piece (sort of like a soap opera) but with a lot more sex. Wink!

We could also call it "As The World Burns" considering we almost set the hotel room on fire.

Hugs,
Ciara

"Okay, let me have it……"

Be careful what you ask for; you might just get it.

Ditch the alias and I might take you more seriously.

My main intention was to find out what I could do to make it up to the lady and in that regard I've gotten some good suggestions.

I knew I would get bashed and be given more 'put downs' from some of you. It is like seeing a wounded animal and going in for the kill. Some of you sure like to dig it in. I would hate to see what you would actually do with a person who has made a few mistakes in their life (or dumb decisions) if they ever came asking for a suggestion as to what they should do. When it comes down to it we all make mistakes once, twice, three times, four times, and sometimes more than that and don't deny it. And some of us need a forum to talk about it. I can’t really go to some of my friends about this particular subject, this place seemed like the right area to come to. To another poster, this question doesn't seem like one I should be asking a therapist in all reality unless I am mistaken here too and some of you talk to your therapists about this sort of thing.

If in fact some of you are older than me and as the saying goes wiser, this doesn't reflect well with some of the posts I've read here.

I thought I stated it all in my original post and how dumb or stupid or pathetic this makes me look. I guess for some it is more fun to see some one struggle than to actually add a helpful hand or message.

All I wanted to find out was what I can do to make it up to her. Nothing about getting attention or making you people look like idiots for believing what I posted. You’ve made me look like the idiot far too well here. Once I send a gift in an amount well over her asking donation price I will be done and you won't see me post here again.

Cynical and jaded is what I get from some of these posts. Bash me more for stating my own opinion. I am just glad I got a few helpful suggestions which is all I wanted.

Yes I wrote that and I did get it. I didn't realize how mean spirited some of the posters could get and I really don't appreciate being seen as a liar.

To add to that, this is my first post here. I have no reviews obviously so what does it matter if I post under an alias? No one here knows me anyway.

Everyone has an alias here. atl_mgr is an alias. So ditching this alias for another alias will make you take me more seriously? Sorry but that does sound stupid.

Dont worry, these things happen to the best of us and Im sure she understands this. Im sure shell give you another chance if you ask her, and she just might make a note of things and leave a little more leeway in her schedule for you

Sometimes these boards can be a little unforgiving, as I think a lot of people here operate on a different level than you and I probably do.

try to make it a box-office success. I suggest instead of the tango a sexy samba with Ciara wearing a cute white tutoo and Bizzaro in a tight ballet dancer's outfit(make sure the splendor of your package is noticeable).

that think that somehow they can remove the jadedness and bitterness Maybe I live in my own little world, but I like it that way.

Victoria, you did wonders for me! Don't you EVER change, dear.

Unforgivable - Don't take it personal. The positive/negative response ratio to your post was actually pretty good. This is a decent board for the most part.

A good and useful subject. Accentuate the postive.


b

Those who have read me over the years know I am no sniveling pathetic loser White Knight. I have equally managed to piss off many a provider and many a porvider. I jsut don't do silliness well at all.

Here's the deal. You make an appointment where an implied condition of the appointment being granted is that you pay a fee for the time reserved. The service provider, whether it be porn star, surgeon, mechanic, or accountant, gets paid by providing the service. If time is reserved for you, and you don't show, then that's income lost because of your no show, and income potentially lost because she might have been able to book another appointment for that time slot. Hence, you're on the hook for the fee. It's really that simple.