Now what? Let's see if I can see this post.
I'm such a dumb ass...

Ignoring yourself is a desperate cry for help. I suspect that you saw a provider who wasn't really into you. Your subconscious mind, unable to process this attack to your self esteem, manifested itself in this destructive behavior. Her indifference is causing you to question your own self worth, driving you to ignore your very existence. Perhaps with the right therapist and years of counseling, you may, one day, be able to hobby again.  This is known as Totally Bored Provider Syndrome or Total BS for short.

I did totally screw up the last date I went on.
Got a really bad leg cramp while kneeling doggie.
Scared the crap outta the poor girl.
It actually motivated me to work out again.
Every dark cloud has a silver lining.
5 days of traning, and it's working already!
I am in serious pain right now though.
Whats worse is that the VIP thing ended, and a review would have kept it going.
All I could think to write was. "I suck, but she is hot."
Don't think admin would let that one fly.