After over a year with an ATF (the last few months being exclusive in nature) I'm back to the variety aspect of the hobby. The cold realization that you can't even purchase a permanent dating arrangement is a sad and sobering lesson. Hopping from flower to flower has it's rewards to be sure but when the natural desire to focus your attention and cash on one is ultimately hopless and fruitless it both taints and makes cynical the most optimistic of spirits.
   
   I fear the only true answer for me and many others is sadly decades off technologically.

   SA

-- Modified on 3/4/2004 8:46:21 AM

I just don't get what you're saying.  You go into a "relationship" with a provider expecting just what?  That she'll be exclusive?  That she'll be a slave?  I'm sure there are many providers who, for the right amount of money, would have an "exclusive" relationship with the right guy, but for God's sake, man, providers are people, too!  Did you consider that you might have to bear some responsibility for this "ultimately hopeless" situation?  

And what on earth do you mean about technology?  Do you want a provider robot?

Were you looking for a provider or a mistress?? There is a difference. A provider is kinda like a rented car. You return it after having it for a a short time.
  A mistress is kinda like a leased vehicle. You pay her an "allowance," pay her apt rent and other expenses. In return, she makes a long-term commitment to you on an exclusive basis.
  Again, were you looking for a provider or a mistress?

I think you will benefit from a little introspection about why you are in this situatiion and what you need to do to have more satisfying personal relationships in the future- even your "relationships" with providers.

Anyone on this board will tell you that you shouldn't be approaching this activity as a substitute for a wife, girlfriend, shrink, mother, friend etc.  The more your personal needs blur into these other areas, the less likely you are to be happy with any type of woman, but especially with a provider.  Sometimes close friendships DO evolve over time, but if you are at all emotionally needy, just paying a provider to be with you won't make up for that.   You need to address those issues on your own.

Bottom line is, it all comes down to you- your mindset, your emotional balance and stability, your relationship maturity and on and on.  In other words, a provider relationship is really no different than any other social relationship and it always gets down to the character and compatibility of the two people involved.  

Now in the short term, you pay your money and recieve some companionship for a specified period of time.  But you're talking about long-term arrangements and exclusivity, and once you cross that line, you're back to the basics of dating- one man, one woman and whatever happens depends on the the individuals involved.

The key to satisfying relationships with the opposite sex is to first truly understand yourself, and that isn't always an easy thing to do.  Some of us are pretty good at self-examination, others need the help of professionals.  In either case, it's worth the effort and will payback big returns in many other areas of your life.

For some of the more socially challenged among us, the "hobby" is a crutch that lets us use money to overcome our weaknesses in other areas.  But it's really a trap because like all crutches, this only enables us to continue our old behavior without ever addressing the root causes.  You've had a bit of a wake-up call, so use this time to good advantage.  

If you re-read your post objectively, like the rest of us are, I think you'll see how misguided (and sad) the whole premise of what you were trying to achieve really is.  Until you see that, you're just relying on using money to avoid addresing the real issues and it's going to be a lonely life if you're just waiting for the FemBot 3000 to be marketed.



 



-- Modified on 3/5/2004 2:18:15 AM

What an intelligent and perceptive post !!!  I congratulate you.

May I simply add that the incidence of pathology on the boards is much higher than the normal population.

Mike Cooper

huge rewards.

I was married for 20 years, then it ended. Sometimes it happens. It dosen't matter who your with, it can end at any time. Just enjoy it while you have it and don't be pissed at her or yourself when its over.

Move on. There is someone out there waiting for you.

Love Happens