I will assume that some people aren't intentionally trying to be dense and may not have actually read my post. There was never a debate about whether or not a provider is a hooker or whore. That seems to be what the majority of the posts are about.

My issue was with even using the words. I was just trying to understand why even refer to a provider in that way, especially since when the guys using it are trying to be insulting. And as I stated before, using the "well they do it to each other so I can do it to" is  always a ridiculous excuse. Just because the people you associate with use a term or are ok with a term does not mean that the majority won't be offended.

What happens in the confines of a session is between that hobbyist and provider. If he wants to call you a whore, wear your panties, piss on you, or take it up the ass, I give less than a fuck about what you do in private. But speaking in a general post and referring to providers as whores and hookers and trying to be insulting while doing so offends me and I will address it as I see fit.

Regardless of what hobbyists may say, if providers came on here all of the time and referred to clients as "tricks" as often as providers are referred to as "hookers", then I'm sure those providers (if known) would see some decrease in their business. Because that's what most guys are paying for: the illusion that you are actually enjoying your time.

I know there's going to be some guys that say they don't care. But some people just like to hear themselves talk (or see themselves type, in this case), no matter how moot their argument is.

And as I stated before, people want to hide behind aliases because they don't want to deal with the "drama" their statement may cause. But if you can't stand by your statements and actually deal with the consequences (if there are any) then why say it at all.

Also, apologies to anyone that PM me. I don't pay for VIP.

In all seriousness, you are just trying your best to be PC.
Half of the prostitutes on TER refer to themselves ad hookers and whores. I see them calling each other the same thing.
Most of the time it is not an anger issue either. If it was, so what? Big deal.

Are you going to complain about the word "prostitute" too.
What would you like to be called. Cynamon-virgin-Mary?

I don't get insulted when I am referred as a john or a trick. Yeah, I got over myself already

I very rarely post on TER, but I have been amazed with the ridiculous amount of posts referring to providers as whores or hookers. I'm not posting this as a debate about the validity of calling a provider a hooker or whore. There's no question as to whether or not provider is synonymous with hooker or whore. My question is what is the purpose of doing so? What are you gaining by refering to a provider in this way.

I'm all about expressing your opinion as I'm a pretty blunt person. I also understand the need for aliases in some instances for anonymity, but some people use aliases to basically say things via the internet that they would never say in person because their are no ramifications for doing so. It's just so juvenile and is basically resulting to elementary name calling.

I don't understand why some of the men on here are so angry. "Whore" and "hooker" are degrading terms and accomplish nothing, other than making you look like a loser. Just as, to me, the term "trick" is degrading.

Both providers and hobbyists have to deal with a lot of crap, whether it's NCNS, haggling, bait and switch, etc. Neither party owes the other anything. It is a mutually benenficial relationship and if you are under the impression that the "hooker" should be grateful to you for business, then you are sadly mistaken.

Just as some men refer to a woman as a "bitch" if she rebuffs his advances, it seems as if the guys that refer to providers as "whores" or "hookers" must have had their egos bruised at some point as they typically use the terms in a rant. But I guess it's easier being a "tough guy" when you can hide behind the internet and not have to deal with face-to-face interactions.

That's the end of my first and (hopefully) only rant. This was just something that was really bothering me. I'm off my soap box now.

I find those to be offensive, why people continue to use them when there are better options. I guess to each his own, I say why not use words like courtesan, provider, client, escort those are better choices in my opinion.

When clients denigrate providers as 'hookers' & 'whores', they're betraying themselves by revealing their anger.  Some men just can't accept the fact that they're paying for it.  I wish I looked like Brad Pitt so I could bed beautiful women for free, but that's not my lot in life.  Some men cannot accept that fact about themselves, thus the anger.  In their world view, you make them pay because you're just a 'hooker' or a 'whore'.    

 Your comment about 'bruised egos'  goes to the heart of the matter. This is about protecting self esteem and self image.  Some clients deal in anger.  Some clients traffic in fantasies, thinking that providers are in love with them. There's a lot of angry & deluded men out there, I'm sure you've met a few.  --z

Not the body part, but the wimpy he-cunts we have around this place. Supposed men who decide where the line of honorable is.
"Oh, I prefer escort, courtesan, provider...."
STFU! You make me SICK!

Despite how you want to sugar coat it, you're paying a total stranger to have your sweaty cock in their mouth within 15 minutes of meeting them.
And ladies? That cocksucker would be you.

So don't get all hung up about words.
You can use any words you want to make yourself happy in FantasyLand, but you can't escape definitions.
Definitions, in our language, are the TRUTH!

Those who post real pics, don't upsell, deliver what they promise, don't bait and switch, ect., are "providers", "ladies" or "ATFs". They are professionals worthy of respect and can even become friends in some cases.

Those who do all the objectional I things listed or simply rip people off are "hookers" in the true sense of that word. In this shadow hobby world outside the law, there are many opportunities for "hookers" to take advantage of people. That's why TER provides such a valuable service to hobbyists.

I'm sure there are plenty of jerks, assholes and abusive "hobbyists" who treat providers poorly and "trick" or "john" are terms too mild to describe their behavior in this type of transaction. Providers can screen some of those creeps out with requests for references. The white lists at this board are helpful to them.

So put simply, thanks, TER! To you wonderful ladies who provide a memorable experience, thank you too.

Because the society in which we live has made them so. Well, I spend a good deal of my life being a nonconformist in that fucked up, prudish society and I'm certainly NOT going to live by their rules regarding the language I use regarding the lifestyle I've chosen.

Calling yourself a Provider doesn't /ale you less of a Whore. Calling yourself a whore damned sure doesn't make you less of a person.

If I call you a whore, I'm describing, not diminishing.

and take you at  your word.  But I don't think that's true for most people.  There are certain words, like many racial epithets, that carry so much negative baggage there's simply no way to defend using them.

Its negative connotation unpacks that baggage. Some words are beyond reprieve due to the racial element, why would we want our words to sink to that status?  We should not compare whore and hooker to the n word, nor let it get to the point of comparison.

I think that there is nothing to add to what you said, it's really well written and straight to the point....
Those degrading words should be banned, it's as degrading to call us whores as it would be if we start using the word trick talking about you guys!
Stop being such a hater behind your computer big man and have some manners!
Did your mama ever told you to respect woman? We, woman all are or will be moms one day, respect us as woman gentle mans, treat us well and most likely, the favor will be returned, and with a nice smile on the top of that...

-- Modified on 8/8/2011 4:46:12 AM

Your statement "If I call you a whore, I'm describing, not diminishing" is pretentious and absurd.   When you throw around the word 'whore' to describe providers across the board, you reveal something about yourself that goes back to the issues of hostility discussed earlier.   And don't blame society, as if you're a bold 'nonconformist' in your word choices.  You're using nonconformity as a cloak to hide something much uglier.  --z

I think if you were to ask people if they consider being called a hooker or a whore demeaning, I believe the majority of people would agree. I understand that you say you use it as a description, but the vast majority of people who use it are using the term in order to be insulting. I personally have never heard anyone using the term in a positive or even neutral way. But either way, why use the word.

There can be a comparison with using the n word and calling someone a hooker. Both terms are "slang". If we just go by the definition of the word, then by definition, I am a n word. But that doesn't mean it should be used. Now I will concede that the n word has much more of a negative connotation.

The age old "well they call each other that so I can call them that too" goes to my statement about how sophomoric this is. Some women call each other bitch but that doesn't mean its ok to go around calling any female a bitch just because the few you have seen do so.


Once again, I never made an argument whether or not being called a hooker/whore was accurate.

Honestly, I don't care what they call me.  I am confident and secure enough within myself that it does not bother me.  

Let's take this a step further.  It is a turn on for some guys to call us some of these things.  I am not fond of the word slut.  But if that's what works for him, I really could care less.  Let him say whatever the hell he wants.  Let him have his one hour of fun/FANTASY.  This is NOT real life.  This is where we ladies win the emmy for our performances.  

I am not one to be PC.  I speak my mind.  And we are what we are no matter what label we prefer.
 
FYI: I almost always use an alias on this board due to the way it has changed over the years.  Too much personal bashing for expressing our opinions.

What goes on between you and a client in the privacy of your room is your business. I was speaking on using it in a general sense and referring to all providers when using it. While you may not care, it is offensive to a lot of people. It doesn't upset me, my world doesn't stop. I just question why use it. You are right. We are what we are. Just as some people may call a gay guy a faggot and offer the rebuttal that a gay guy is a faggot, by definition. That doesn't make the term appropriate to use.

But best of luck in your efforts.  All I can say is those who use them better do it from behind an alias or they'll end up on a lot of DNS lists.

I'd like to take this opportunity to say God bless all the hookers and whores out there who make life so much sweeter. Also you who insist on being called providers, although I have to say "hooker" or "whore" sounds a hell of a lot more fun!

I use all sorts of words to describe women that sell sex.  Ladies, escorts, providers, sluts, whores and probably a couple others as well.  I have several provider friends that I deal with on a largely non-sexual basis.  I routinely refer to them using those "bad" words to their face.  None of them are ignorant to how they make a living and frankly they use those words more than I do.  I suppose that those guys that think their hooker is a gentle flower would be most disturbed by the description.  I know the ladies that I describe to be complete people, full of complexities and interests.  They seem to do just fine with those terms.

To anyone that puts me on a DNS list as a result of this, please be aware that I'm OK with that.  I didn't want to see you anyway.

Whoever you are, you have a clear mind and seem to be at peace with this simple dance that oh so many try and complicate. Please send me a note because I think I would like to get to know you better.

..... your issue is more so to the men that seem angry with all providers (no matter their "class") and call them hookers and whores IN A WAY meant to degrade all of them/us  yes?

As usual the Col telling it like is.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cocksucker

Ok so maybe you can justify degrading somebody by saying "that's what they are".  Quite frankly I find it digusting that these guys need to build themselves up by degrading other human beings.  Providers are people with feelings, problems, wants, needs, etc.  Some are probably providing out of pure desperation, others may enjoy it.  However, how sad is someones life that they need to deparage other people so they don't need to feel as crappy about their own life?  I believe it stems from the fact that if they can "de-humanize" the provider then they don't feel as guilty about their hobby

Well, that's it LP, you're on my DNS list for sure!  And I was so looking forward to our session!  No, seriously, when you say "they use these words more than I do" that's kinda my point.  It's like the "n" word.  Blacks can use it and you and I can't.  But, sure there's always a gray area.  I've been with a few girls who love to use the word during a session and then all bets are off.  When my ATF tells me "Make me your whore" you can be damn sure I will call her exactly that.  But it's quite a bit different than throwing the word around on a public board where, believe it or not, people can get offended.  You use the word with ladies you know won't be offended, but I bet you don't throw it around here, or with women you don't know well enough.  That's probably also true for some of the macho types who throw the word around the boards from behind an alias.  I use my own aliases for lots of things, but not for that.

I am a Service Provider and a Lady who Provides and Experience and not just a Service.

If someone chooses just to bluntly say hooker, whore or whatever terms you may like to call a lady it sets the thinking and time back to when some ladies provided such servcies just out of need, addictions, they were forced and then only money. They were not there to provide an experience but just a service.

Some ladies may refer to themselves as such names and that is their perogative.

I don't let negative comments like that take away my positive views on providing experiences to respectful "Friends". I don't like the terms client or customer and try 98% of the time not use them. I prefer "Friend" or "Friends with Beneifits".  I don't like one-sided encounters at all, I prefer my encounters to be a mutual experience.

I believe some people need to be more positive and less negative. This is just my opinion and views on my chosen profession.

Lexy

And that's a fact.providing a service for hobbyists that we much appreciate and grateful for.
These buttholes that are saying this should be banned forever.I have met sone wonderful friends in this hobby
And would never refer to themina negative manner.

It is one of the benefits of linking your review to your handle.

Form TER administration on newbie board:

"Free, limited "Provider" VIP access is available to all providers who have reviews on TER. All you need is a username and to request that your username be linked to your reviews.

This limited VIP:
1. Never expires.

2. Allows the provider to use the TER Mail / Personal Messaging (PM) system as if they were a paid VIP member.

3. Read the "juicy details" of her own reviews (but not of other reviews).

Once you are upgraded your TER Profile is automatically linked to every message you submit on the discussion boards, making it easy for guys to find your reviews.

HOW TO REQUEST TO BE UPGRADED TO PROVIDER VIP
The first step to a provider taking advantage of complimentary limited provider VIP is the provider requesting that her username be linked to her review profile.  You can check to see if this has already been done by looking at one of your messages posted on this board. Look for a link that says "See my TER reviews"  just under the subject line and to the right of your username. If it's already there, then you're linked. If it's not, click on  "Contact Us"  in the upper right corner of the page and request to have your reviews linked to your user name. Please make sure to include your provider ID number or a direct link to your review profile in the message. Alternatively, if you cannot locate your profile ID number,  you can include the contact information that is listed in your TER review profile, such as your phone number, email address, or website.

WHITELISTING:
Once registered as a provider, you should be able to whitelist just about ANY hobbyist member of TER. It doesn't matter if he has submitted a review of you or not. The only TER members that cannot be whitelisted are those that have whitelisting disabled in their account.

To whitelist a user, click on the "Reviews" link near the top of the screen, and then click "Search White List" on the left side of the screen. Type in the hobbyists TER username (or his email address if you don't know his username, which may or may not match up depending on what email he uses on his profile). Once you find the hobbyist you are looking for, click on the "Submit Referral" button. Only provider accounts can see this button."

Enjoy your mail, it is free for linked providers.

Thanks, I didn't realize I could.

Either term, if you read between the lines wherever they are mentioned, are usually meant to be degrading.  Not cool!

In my posts, I generally refer to providers as either providers, or ladies.  This, to me, is simply a token of respect, as I believe all should be accorded a certain dignity as human beings, regardless of gender or choice of work, unless their actions prove otherwise.  But that's just me...