Anyone got a story or two about something said that struck you as funny?

A fav once told me that when she isn't "providing" she's hooking up w/whoever she can.  She needs sex daily.

I had a date with the "Flavor of the Month" while in Vegas. She had close to 30 reviews all 10/10, except one was a 10/9. We had a party for the  ages, smoking and drinking...it was wild. As it got late and we're very messed up. She's laying on the bed, I'm on my stomach, laying on the bed...I'm locked in her look. Then out of no where I ask her, "Hey, what's up with all those 10's?"...She broke a smile, took a hit of our smoke and said, "Fuck You"...it was precious and classic, the best "Fuck You" ever thrown at me.

... said by a fav to me whenever it seems to her that I'm thinking about the stress of my job or whatever rather than focusing on her, and the moment.  

Here_I_Go    Sounds like she was fun, who was she?

After much fun I hopped in the shower to rinse off. Came out and the lady was on the bed  naked on all fours. Her hair was all wild. She looked like Sigourney weaver from ghostbusters talking about Zul. She said....you aren't going anywhere with that cock until I say so.   Best date ever!

Many years ago I was in the midst of an appointment with a petite young lady. I am a large gentleman so she was crawling around on me pleasuring me while I pleasured her. At some point, in mid-crawl, she stopped and looked at me with a big grin on her face and said, "You are just like a big jungle gym!"

After a great session, during the "how/why did you start doing this?" chat, I told her that I'm just not getting any at home, and she said:

Read my review of Shaunna.
The gist is we had a morning date. I forgot her coffee in the car.
She said in her beautiful London accent "you asshole!"
I made her call me that the whole session I like how she said it so much.

Said by a provider at my house while in my bed "after"

This holiday season makes me recall a time a gal was staying over at my house, and I prepared a breakfast of fried matzoh for her.   She asked what the religious significance of the matzoh is and, being a wise-ass, I told her that it was used by the Jews in Egypt to build the pyramids.   I added that this could be proved by the Bible story about the Exodus.  

Some of those were my ex's ...

Several years ago I hooked up with two of my faves for a pre- M&G dinner at a cool hotel restaurant . Theses ladies were absolutely drop dead gorgeous and rather youngish. So naturally my table was receiving plenty of sneaky glances from the gents in the joint.....as well as the ladies . And our waiter could not be more attentive ...lol

Somewhat along those lines. I told two girls I was with that I fought in WWI and WWII, and Vietnam. They seemed to believe me. When I told them I also fought in the Civil War, they got suspicious.

Over dinner at the beach: "I had no idea you would be so affable".

Said by a fave of mine on our first overnight date together. We had just had dinner and then showered together. I'm on my back, she jumps on the bad, grabs my you-know-what and says "I want to rape you" in a seductive tone - the rest, as they say, is history.

Yes, that makes her a nympho. I've known one of those also.  They are fun, aren't they?

Pretty much instant face slap as soon as it came tumbling out of my mouth.

I don't want to burst any bubbles here, but did she say "affable" or "F-able"?

I asked the petite half of an upcoming double how tall her lanky partner was: "I don't actually know, we're always horizontal".

I saw this person via a referral. She has no web site, and will not see anyone that is not from a referral. Otherwise known as UTR.  So I won't be providing this information.

It does not matter so much about the money or time, but rather the quality we have when we are together.

Guys tend to be surprised when us smaller women like to fuck for a long time. I like to keep going until I'm satisfied and sore for the day.  I consider it a great form of exercise! I've lost about 10 lbs since I started providing lol.

I've lost 90lbs since I became a provider. It's glorious lol.

It's late and I've had beer....makes me sleepy but I swear I heard....

After a miscommunication with another gal at the place on the phone, I showed up at a MP with no appointment, about an hour before they close. I'm out front with her talking, seeing if we can get something worked out. She had an appointment but it looked like he was gonna NCNS, so she was thinking about just taking me back. I said something about maybe I should get out of your hair and try another day. "I hope I'm not being too pushy." She said "oh you're not being pushy." Then with a subtle little gesture she said "I don't want to be too pully."  That turned into a very awesome session actually.

provider I had a thing with that wanted me to spike up my hair.  Eeet will be soo cute, Count.
look hansum.  So I did and came to see her after round one during a little pillow talk she is playing with my hair and says, "you are so cute you look like a peeeg!"  She caught herself as she meant to
say porcupine.  haha  good times