Hello,

I recently dated a former provider shortly after she had retired.

It was bizarre, and not in a good way.  Keep in mind the girls - her friends - I was introduced to "off the clock" were higher end escorts who typically charged 300-500+, and not somebody off of backpage who looked like she's been doing meth the past few days.  Many worked at a strip club or a fairly well known agency (at least among hobbyists) in my area among These girls seem very normal on the surface, but lol.  Just lol.  

Shortly after making this post,  

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=703926&boardID=12&page=25#703926

 
she contacted me asking what's up.  I was not expecting to hear from her thinking she'd found someone.  Luckily, she contacted me after I was finished pining over her disappearance, so I could play it cool and not screw this up with gushy behavior.

We texted each other back and forth and agreed to meet up for some hookah and coffee.   Three days later a second time for some drinks, food, and a movie at my place.  There was no sex yet, just some light making out.  I think she wanted to take it slow to make sure I wasn't just pumping and dumping her - and that part's true, I actually did want to get to know her better. Sex was just the cherry on top, not the main course.  We both had a good time

Then the crazy started to surface

The day of our third date was a bad day for me.  Even though my department at work was doing well and pulling a profit, upper management was in the middle of staff cuts and despite me fighting it tooth and nail, I was forced to let go of someone who worked underneath me so that some banker could enjoy his .0001% increase in stock price and our C level execs could rake in larger bonuses.  The young, promising kid whom I had to let go was devastated and so was I.  Anyway that's a topic for a different thread but nevertheless I was not in a good mood.  This kid's finances were likely to crumble for a while.

 
When I picked my date up, she was aloof.  We were on our way to the zoo (yes, the zoo ) and she was quiet.  I asked if everything was okay and she looked at me with rage filled eyes.  I'm not talking about typical pissed women look but pure, insane rage.

"WHY DONT YOU BUY A NICE CAR???? I CANT BE IN THIS"

I slammed my brakes of my Mazda3 and pulled into a nearby parking lot. I looked at her right in the eyes, pissed off from the events earlier in my day and half expecting her to stab me.

"Because I dont spend my money on stupid things? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR YOU SPOILED BITCH. Take a cab ride home, we're done tonight"

I was never a car person

In an instant her demeanor changed.  She didnt leave.  Through the night she was much more relaxed, submissive, and towards the end of the night very horny.  We had pornstar sex.  I also knew her crazy behavior and soulless murder eyes from earlier today meant I could never take her seriously long term.  

Flash forward 5 days and she gets pissed at me for something trivial and started swinging her purse at me.  Not having any of it, I grabbed her, threw her on the floor, and pinned her down

I noticed a trend.  Any time we had sex normally, it was vanilla and felt like a chore for her (her words).  When she started to test me or act crazy with her psycho eyes, I'd put a stop to it, and then she'd get really horny and want not only to be fucked, but really *fucked*.  I'd give it to her even though it went against my normally sexually submissive preferences

What.the.hell??????

These instances started to become more and more frequent.  

When we started sleeping over each other's place, I noticed she lie awake at night.  She slept for 10+ hrs per day, and it was often a light "half sleep".  She would usually curl up on her side of the bed and not want to be touched in her half sleep mode

I came over to her place and it was  a very nice condo.  It was bigger than mine.  I thought she was engaged to some agency owner (read my previous thread) but the whole situation was very vague and I never got a clear answer.  From what I can tell one or several rich people were bankrolling her lifestyle, she had a quasi former pimp boyfriend (they hate being called that ), myself, and maybe others.  

Anyway her friends were always over at her place.  Some of them worked at the agency and luckily I had not seen any of those providers.  It seemed to be taboo to date clients the way we were dating, so we lied about how we met and I told them I knew about and was cool with her escorting past

Over the course of two months I really got to see another side of this business.  I got to really know them  

Most of these women do not respect their customers in any way shape or form.  They look at them as "prey" and are looking to extract as much as they can out of them.  They're actively repulsed by most

They do fall for their clients time to time but it's usually short lived and might not even last a day.  I think the sudden change in emotions is a symptom of an underlying mental illness common in this industry. Also, since basically all of them do not respect their customers, that lack of respect translates into falling out of infatuation real quickly

All have a very warped view of love .  It's an immature form of love where if they dont get what they want they "hate" you, like a child "hates" his parent for not getting the latest power ranger toy or whatever

All.  Ever single one of them had a weird or shitty childhood and bad relations with their parents.

Most are swingers and cheat like crazy on their boyfriends, including rich sugar daddies they are supposed to be exclusive with

One of my gf's friends wanted to fuck me not because she was attracted to me because she hated the girl i was with and wanted to get back at her

Some of them dont even like sex outside of work

Stealing, drunken fights, trouble with the law (and not for escorting which very few are busted for) and otherwise trashy behavior is commonplace  

The "paying for college loans" isnt a myth, but much less common than you think.  Those who do have a solid plan to become financially stable usually dont get as heavily involved in the lifestyle as some of the girls i met

The way they interact with their boyfriends is just weird.  Lots of arguing followed by makeup sex, as if that's the norm.  I don't believe most are capable of carrying normal relations with men

The big black pimp stereotype is very true, at least it was with this and several other agencies.  Most were african immigrants rather than American blacks though.  These girls simultaneously feared them, respected them, and yet were attracted to them.  Most of the pimps were actually pretty nice people (on the surface).  However, none were pushovers and they knew how to "play" their girls very well.

Far less do drugs (other than weed) than I thought

They will sex nice guy friends once in a while, which is better than civvie girls who use their nice guy friends as an emotional tampon and nothing more

Many are absolute train wrecks in their personal lives. These women are bringing in hundreds per day but still somehow cant afford a car or electric bill

 
The longer I hung around them, the less and less respect I had for anyone in that industry.  Many are huge losers with no impulse control.  They seriously need years and years of therapy.

After another borderline personality outburst, I had enough and dumped my ex-gf's insane ass.  She could never get over the fact I was her former customer and wasn't showering her with gifts.  I'd pay for whatever activity we'd be doing like I do with most civvie girls, but never for her time

I think I'll stick to civvie girls.  Maybe ill return to that agency as a customers and see one of the girls i met, or even my former-gf - just for the kicks lolololo

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

Make this a new reality show? Real housewives is getting stale but this...yeah this is Grade A drama!

My thoughts exactly. This one is gonna be a barn burner!

ty for posting

I will agree that you don't fit into the P4P world.

Did you fuck the gals in college?  Sounds like you missed out on that fun and figured you'd see how young kids interact.  

And get a damn nicer car...even I'm embarrassed for you.

I dated when I was in high school. Turns out I was only having sex with them!... and so were their fathers, whom I think they were dating too.

Some interesting observations about the business, especially the part about how providers really feel about their clients. I've always felt this was probably true even though some excel at presenting the opposite illusion. That's why I've always resisted falling for the GFE thing. I like to keep it on the level of two people agreeing to fuck for money and getting the most out of what that experience has to offer.

"I don't believe most are capable of carrying normal relations with men"

Probably goes both ways, don't you think

Thanks for sharing yours.

It gives me renewed confidence in the hobby way of life.

My only grouse is that generalizing can be risky.  And besides plenty of civie gals are just as batty. (Not to mention the guys.).  Believe me, I know.

I also thank you muchly for the paragraph breaks.  I hope all take note.

You're a man after my heart regarding the car thing.

...behavior you described indicates that they are all low-class, regardless of what they charge.

It's rare for strippers to be considered "high-class" and unless a provider works for an elite agency, she doesn't have enough brains to run her own business as an independent so she has to give a big chunk of her earnings to an agent or pimp.  That fucks with their head and their self-esteem.

Just because she's not on Backpage or doesn't look like a meth addict doesn't mean she has class.  What you were immersed in was not a microcosm of the provider world, but one small part.  I suggest you visit some independent businesswomen who have their shit together.

I've become good friends with a few providers over the years, and I must say that they've all been pretty normal people. One was a college student at a very elite college who became an escort to pay for college without being burdened by loans. Another is just about the kindest and most generous person that I've ever met. (I make this judgement based on her dealings with 3rd parties who are neither clients nor other providers.) A third was Russian teenager in the last days of the Soviet Union, when she selected as a mistress of sorts for a local communist party boss. She has been in the business for more than 30 years in several different countries. The first two had normal family lives and got along just fine with their parents.

One difference between my provider friends and yours is that all of mine have been independent rather than working for an agency. I'm sure that there are a number of reasons for providers to work for agencies, but based on your description of your provider friends, I would guess that they might have difficulty actually running their own business.  

So, I think that your generalization from your set of friends to the whole industry is off base.

Mazda3? Seriously? You should be ashamed of yourself... what kind of sale exec do you call yourself anyway?

ROFLMAO. Hey just kiddin' ! yeah I consider myself somewhat upper middle-class and can well afford more but I only drive a Dodge.

I'm a car person the way I'm a hobbyist. I do not care much for fancy and expensive cars, luxury nor sport. What I love are cost-efficient cars that look decent, perform consistent and reflect a superior ROI, return-on-investment. Yep same way with the kind of providers I'm attracted to and always looking for!

It really didn't take all of my 20+ yrs of mongering to know, to realize full well that most prostitutes carry SERIOUS baggages. I don't mean to badmouth or blame them whatsoever but to making a living fucking men really takes a toll on their psyches, even for the strongest and most stable IMHO. After a while it just seriously distorted their mindset about men and relationship in general.

Not to be a hypocrite similar effect but much less in scale happens to hobbyists as well I believe, myself included.  

However the distorted mindsets are different between providers and hobbyists. Whereas for providers money and luxuries will ALWAYS come first and get in the way of genuine affection because men will always be looked at as ATMs with dicks, for men it's more physical. I really don't see how I can ever be attracted to any women within 20 yrs. of my age. Much less wanting to spend my life with one...  

Anyway that was GREAT and FABULOUS reading. Hopefully that will open the eyes of those guys who are naive and still believe in the fantasy. While I never dated a provider I'm glad your experience completely validated what I always thought that's the way a civilian relationship with a provider or ex-provider would unfold

First I think you are exaggerating. Secondly you have a big mouth talking about your description of the inner workings you saw behind the scene.

YES please stick to civvie girls...PLEASE.

Funny, I've never met any of these crazy types of ladies. Maybe you're just a magnet for this kind of thing.

Did you hang out with the "big black pimps"? You seem to be speaking first hand.

Did I mention you had a big mouth and are indiscreet?  

-- Modified on 9/6/2014 4:08:07 PM

END OF MESSAGE

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fassets4.bigthink.com%2Fsystem%2Fidea_thumbnails%2F52524%2Fheadline%2Fyou_want_the_truth_big_think.jpg%253F1378221822&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbigthink.com%2Frisk-reason-and-reality%2Fyou-want-the-truth-about-risk-you-cant-handle-the-truth&h=320&w=568&tbnid=0UeTEo_O0LwcJM%3A&zoom=1&docid=Q-PhWVdYYf2VHM&ei=y44LVNC1LYzboAS1k4DABg&tbm=isch&client=firefox-a&ved=0CCIQMygAMAA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=526&page=1&start=0&ndsp=15

... I'm thinking it would make a good one.

I usually drive a very inexpensive (albeit nearly new and immaculate) small car.  It's lower-end than the OP's Mazda3 (which I think is a great car, btw).  Like the OP, I don't get into the "car thing."  I like to spend my money (or save my money) on other pursuits.

Anyway, I've given two of my favorite providers rides in my little car.  Their reaction?  One didn't say anything about it, but they were short rides and we were immersed in conversation.  The other, who's had longer rides, told me that she loved the color (red--she said it was sexy) and the design of the secondary controls.

In other words... both passed my Car Test.  

And I agree that generalization is risky.  Although I've seen signs of what the OP's observed with several providers.  But I also know several providers who don't fit that profile at all.

-- Modified on 9/6/2014 4:59:42 PM

-- Modified on 9/6/2014 5:00:16 PM

END OF MESSAGE

Still think he's a magnet though. And the whole big black pimps thing, I mean WTH? I'll check back on this thread later, it's Saturday night and the temps are warm here. My favorite time to dine outside!

Steph

-- Modified on 9/6/2014 4:05:19 PM

The OP wrote an 800 word essay... and you are going to ask WTH? to what I posted? My observations are made in hindsight.

all like you describe - remotely....

I've known some who were living clean and conservatively and bankrolling or investing a lot of money

some in college or grad school

some taking care of family situations

one thing I noted though - the gals who in their personal lives are really really solid don't seem to run with a provider crowd....

they may have a few friends in the biz but are not into the scene and don't really want other providers knowing too much of their business.....

Perhaps it’s time to update the parable to “Windbags and the hooker.”

END OF MESSAGE

How would you like it if I said all guys who P4P are old, fat, bald, & smelly - because I had three in a row like that.

We all know that isn't true.

Anyway, good story, but kind of annoying that she complained about your car. If this is a true story, not a clique I'd be hanging around with. I hate that mentality.

For the record, throwing all your money into a grand ole' car is a waste anyway. It's only not a waste if one can afford it and/or really feels happy in it. It's all relative. If she wants you for your car, she should ditch you, get a job, and buy the car. Yuck.

Unfortunately the current line up doesn't compare to the RX7s of yester-year

You have a sexy car...

END OF MESSAGE

I am NOT bald!

-- Modified on 9/6/2014 7:30:45 PM

I didn't meet her on a place like TER though.. I actually met her through a very popular, reputable, clean dating website. To be honest. I have met more wackos there than here. Way more..

That kinda makes you think a little no?

Whats really fucked up is I would go out with her again in a heartbeat.
She was fun! She ran over a garbage can in the middle of Brooklyn with her big ass jeep on propose.
A metal city can.. Not some plastic shit.. Fucking crushed it, and scared the shit out of the pedestrians.  
You have to respect that.

I guess my point is that there are certain people in this world who will do anything to give themselves what they think they need out of life. I respect that. I sort of envy that. It takes balls.

Or any at all. He admitted to pinning her down and then he returned. Isn't that domestic abuse?
He also called her horrible names post the breakup. That shows no class.
He also came here.. Well, I don't feel like going on with this.

I haven't been on this GD board in ages and this is exactly why.

So sorry that such a perfect young man was played by such a horrible money grubbing hooker.

(I know neither of the parties involved.)

END OF MESSAGE

But I won't allow you to bring opened containers in it  LOL

END OF MESSAGE

And now his eyesight is without blinders (or those rose colored glasses).

However I know many gals and can state that some hate their job...some love their job...and some simply do their job.

As for getting involved with their johns...some may...most don't.  I've known a few delusional johns who honestly thought that all of the gals loved them...then found out they don't.  Then you see the type of rant as we have with this OP.

Men's egos are so pathetically fragile.

What 24 y/o gal wouldn't want to run away with a 45+ dude who has an ex-wife (maybe not an ex?) and kids?  Sounds like a match made in heaven  LOL

Or don't you remember what was important when you were in your 20's...or 30's?  For so many, having fun and enjoying life was the # 1 priority.  Why would you think that is any different here?  It's a job...many do it quite well.  

And then you have dudes like the OP who get slapped with reality that they aren't part of "her" world.  What a shock  

I was on the beach in Miami & she was hot! I'd fuck her again in a heartbeat! WTF are you talking about?

That's a new one. Plus, they aren't high end in my book if they act like that no matter what they charge.  

Did you know that some of these girls have sugar daddies who fund their lifestyle?  Rofl And these girls cheat on them!  Gasp!  How could they break the vows of matrimony with the sugar daddy they don't really love? It's unheard of!  

It's also discouraged to date a client,  duh cuz they are paying them and it's their income source.  

Did you know that girls aren't attracted to most of their clients? What an eye opener to the hobby world. lo

I learn something new every day from GD board. Lol  
I gotta get a better car too,  wouldn't want a $300 BSC higher end agency girl looking down on me for what I drive.  

Seriously though,  if a girl starts giving off signs of a gold digger or sounds like she's looking for another SD,  I move on

-- Modified on 9/6/2014 8:11:39 PM

END OF MESSAGE

99% of the time it isn't funny and just comes out sounding awkward and enigmatic. 0.5% of the time I can decipher it and barely recognize he's attempting humor but it still isn't funny.  

0.5% are actually funny.  I give him that cuz I laughed at his joke just once. Lol   let's hope he makes it to 1% before the end of time though.  

Remember,  humor existed before time existed.

And the fact that you'd come on the internet with this weird diatribe makes it pretty obvious why. I'm actually embarrassed for you.  

I'm seriously not trying to be mean. Just...damn.

END OF MESSAGE

And is kept pacified with daily doses of Thorazine.  That would explain his bizarre ramblings.

Great lay but BSC I was so glad when she moved out.  I became more selective who I let in my place.  

However majority of the girls I'm close with are no different from civvie girls in the same age range though. Some BSC,  some more mature for their age,  sometimes a generation more mature.

I don't agree with him one bit. It's kind of dumb that he is generalizing all women who do this as superficial. That's my point - and it's fine if you don't see that in my response.

This is a story that someone is trolling the boards with. It's not true, it's just to start a discussion on many topics in one thread. Obviously pinning a girl to the floor is wrong - it's a no brainer, and has already been addressed in the thread.

There are bossy, demanding, superficial, lazy men and women everywhere, not just this hobby. I'm not really a 'girl power' type of person, quite honestly, and I don't see everything as battle against the sexes. If I had seen someone doing that to another lady in person he would have had a heel through the temple in no time.

I'm not sure why I'm getting shunned for disliking a specific attitude that - actually really bothers me - next time if I'm going to respond to a severely long post, I'll consult to make sure I say everything right so I don't get in trouble next time.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

My point is. There are crazy, shitty people everywhere.
I find them more often in the civie world... Here. The women i have seen have been nothing but cool, and discreet. Just normal people...

I do like the crazy girls though They give me a thrill.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

-- Modified on 9/6/2014 8:44:20 PM

She came back to see him after his first diatribe. lol

END OF MESSAGE

I learned all about these types of disorders trying to help this girl..
Most of them are degenerative unfortunately.
It just gets worse no matter what you do. Its very sad. As most of these types are extremely artistic, and influential. Their potential is usually un noticed. You see bi polar in many great artists, and actors.. Most just see it as talent, but it is actually a form of some weird mental thing people don't understand.

I like these type of people. I want to be around them. They are special..

...about who you see.  And if an occasional clinker slips by your screening, you simply put on the booze goggles, pop a Viagra and go to work.  That's why you're the Great Asian-American Male Escort for Women.

That was really interesting, but to me it seems like just seeign a lot of someone plus the friends she chose to associate with would only be seeing one type of thinking on the matter... I'm thinking there's more variety to what providers think that it would seem.

I do wonder sometimes though how well providers can really trust men given such a high percentage that see them are married.  And it seems like having sex constantly would set a pretty high bar from what would be acceptable from a normal guy, much less perhaps a greater need for variety?

I like to think I wouldn't have any problems dating even a working provider, but it's not like I'm looking for that either.

END OF MESSAGE

You just kill me in such a great way!!!

xoxo,

Steph

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

Cheesecake Factory? They have a great balcony. And a cute server with flat ass lol.

-- Modified on 9/6/2014 9:51:34 PM

There are so many different types of girls in this business. He saw 1 girl off the clock and he's labeling all escorts bat shit crazy. ROFLMAO!!!!!!

And it all sounds very stereotypical.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

That sounds like a pattern that someone would deliberately employ to control someone from slow thinking the situation out. You're always reacting to the charged crisis or immediate demands. My $.02.

If you're right, and it's "an underlying mental illness," I'd suggest what you're really saying is that it appears to you as an inappropriate way of reacting to what's going on in their lives. Considering the stressors the life puts on them, do you expect them to react differently? What would be an appropriate way of reacting given the circumstances?

You like the chicks in the upper right corner.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU

Like that Billy Joel song- She's Always a Woman to Me.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uN_sSXKbzHk

Let Barney, explain it. Hahahahhahba

-- Modified on 9/7/2014 12:42:53 AM

Im not shitting on it!
I'm fucking jealous

A gift for you

http://m.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/how-i-met-your-mother-alternate-ending-released-watch-video--201469

Reacting to his car? How about, "I don't like your car"?

END OF MESSAGE

I'm a little late to this soiree, but this sounds like a bad script submission to the Hallmark Channel, complete with the stereotypical cliches and central casting characters.  Amazing  how many people bought into this bullcrap.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

You can't post a picture of your client )

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

But then I'm not paying them to respect me either.

-- Modified on 9/7/2014 9:35:40 AM

Yeah but where will they find a bunch of hookers that don't respect men? ... It's hopeless I tell ya.

This reality tv shit just got interesting ...

I was in downtown Raleighwood!

END OF MESSAGE

I didn't mean to click reply under your post, it was a general comment.

 
Was the end really abrupt?  One day she changed her mind, packed her bags, and left with little or no explanation?

Things ended about as quickly as they started - over a period of a few weeks.  
Just as quickly as things took off things went bad and we both backed away.
Wish it could have worked, and glad for the time we had.  Won't post any more details out of respect for her privacy and mine.  
Bottom line - if you can live in the moment enjoy it.  Trying to land an airplane that takes off in a pay-for-sex scenario usually ends in a crash, or at best, a very hard landing