How do you balance your own personal pleasure and that of the provider? Is it "wrong" to go into a session focusing solely on your own personal pleasure? Or on the opposite end of the spectrum, is it bad to only focus on the other individual's enjoyment (i.e. the big O)? The give and take dynamic of normal relations seems a little muddled here since it's called p4p after all...

I prefer to get off too. I know the guys are paying but I don't want to do it if it's not fun for everyone in the bed
I guess it depends on the lady you're seeing.  I'm sure everyone is different.  
Hugs and kisses
TL

compatible partners share in the giving and receiving of pleasure naturally, and enjoy both aspects. The balance isn't the same every time (even with the same person).  

and my experience has been that when I ask her to focus on my pleasure (Within the boundaries she sets, of course.) she ends up much happier and satisfied, as do I.

I get an extra bump of enjoyment out of the session when the provider can get into it also.  Can't always tell, and odds are that a lot of it is performance art on the part of the ladies. Even knowing that, I always put forth an effort to do some things they like.  Tough to learn what a provider likes in one session.   Some women will open up to me over multiple sessions, I'll pay attention to what they seem to like and I'll also ask.  This has been a rewarding approach.  I've been having some great sex with a few awesome ladies lately.

There's Pay, and there's Play. Some hobbyists focus on the Pay aspect, eg "I'm the paying customer, so it's all about me."  From what I've seen, many (most?) providers are fine with that.  

I always try and bring my A game and make sure my partner is enjoying herself too.  Sex is best as a team sport.

I do not know if she is enjoying it, faking enjoyment, or hoping I could spend more time giving her a massage and not fucking her. Lol

as the earlier poster mentioned, think of it in the frame of going to see a Broadway play or even interactive theater.  You pay to be there and receive pleasure from the performance.  The "performers" receive pleasure knowing that they've done a good job pleasing you.  Definitely a 2way interaction always exists, and both sides have a way of helping the other side enjoy themselves.

When all about you means I have to come for you...not going to happen, sorry but it is what it is.

Regardless of whether she's a civvie, or provider, she will most likely appreciate being treated correctly.

If I'm spending the cash, it's about me. I go to a game I want to see bone crushing hits and my team win. If the players enjoy it good for them. If they can't get out of bed on Monday morning, that's their problem.

Many providers make it near impossible to tell if they're really getting off or not. I always ask them to not fake it, but to instead tell me what to do to make whatever I'm doing actually feel good. It's rare that a provider actually tells me.

As far as I am concerned, you are paying therefore we do what you want. If I do want certain things, I can always say no.

....nice time with the conversation and my gentle touching. But unless she voices a request for certain sexual activity (or physically moves me in that direction) I do not try to sexually pleasure her. So far about half of the providers that I have seen have sought my DATY services, and I have been more than happy to accommodate them. But I know that some gals are in it just for the client, and I respect that.

Ladies seem to only be willing to state their dislikes, even when asked about likes I get silence, a cute smile, or "I want to do, what you want to do"

So long as it is consensual between two adults, they can do it any way they want. Isn't that pretty much the central tenet of the hobby?

I will look for your email if I have time... I am busy waiting by the phone for the Great Bob Sugar to call. lol

Do you worry if your waiter is enjoying himself as you eat the meal he delivered?

Lay there and let me do all the werk! I'll let you know what I need from you when the time comes. The only release I care about is yours and it's better if you aren't worried about pleasuring me. Granted once you get the hang of my sessions we can explore, but that's up to my discretion, not yours. Touch is an incredible gift we "can" give each other, doing the werk I do I often find sincere touch is lacking. There's no passion or skill, no reading the slight responses to gauge the pleasure you're giving your partner. It can be taught, I have taught many but to learn you must observe first.  

Totally acceptable for me to be a Geisha and please you. When the client let's me "drive" I get more creative because I stop thinking about myself.

I believe you. LOL

First off, I'd never consider a client "self-centered" for wanting to enjoy themselves to the fullest however they want to.  They're paying me for my time, and in that time they should be free to do (or not do) whatever makes them happiest.  

I agree, but I think there's a difference between being treated correctly and getting off lol.  I think the question was more about how much effort, if any, hobbyists put into making sure that the provider is as sexually satisfied as they are.

Are your hands all over him/her?  Are you kissing him/her?  Are your genitals in close contact with those of the waiter or hotel manager?

The clients pay me for my company, to enjoy themselves, to escape the everyday life. One likes to let the provider do "all the work", for another one it's only a good session, if the pleasure and enjoyment are mutual. Personally, I like both, but I must admit that I love to please, so it might even turn me on to be his little geisha One important thing for me is to communicate and to find out, what he wants and needs. Nothing is nicer than a happy and satisfied client

Had both male and female too.

From the business/provider side of the coin, they are exactly the same.

What if a provider was more assertive, like taking your hand and putting it where she wanted it. Would that be a turn-on or annoying?  To me it does seem like your time with a provider is about you, the hobbyist. And some providers are givers, who really do take pleasure in your pleasure. Of course, some men are like that too so maybe it's a symbiotic relationship.

... don't prefer to enjoy their work?  They'd rather it just be a monotonous drudgery?

There are times that I want the attention to be 100% centered on me. In those situations I seek out my fbsm friends. The rest of the time I'm always searching for the ladies who are, if not nymphomaniacs, multi orgasmic. Even if I'm the third man, they still enjoy themselves immensely. It absolutely has to be that way because, for some reason, if you're just laying there, my rooster will be too. It's all about the ladies who can make my rooster crow.

If you don't think people that you are paying are more likely to laugh at your jokes...or fake an orgasm, ahem... than you really are delusional about p4p.

I HIGHLY doubt anything I do to the lady is providing them any pleasure at all and even in the remote possibility that it actually is I'm so used to fake moans that I wouldn't believe it anyway. I'm there for me and me alone. And like the other posted said, anytime they say they came X times you know the true answer is 0.

I find that I have the best time with those that prefer mutual give and take, those "types" seem to be more passionate, affectionate and sensual and that excites me so much.

The most turned on I have ever been, was when the woman told me what she wanted and we found a mix of what we both liked. It's so hot to have that symbiosis you speak of. I would put that above any "menu" item.

EOM

Interesting...

100% agree on the give and take.

To be honest, I really wouldn't mind a little guidance..........

Mmm, yes, I noticed... and I loved being on the receiving end of that .

I got a raging roger reading that.

I am here for the enjoyment and pleasure of my lovers. This in no way detracts from my pleasure as it is a HUGE turn on for me to give and please; that said, sometimes a big part of my clients' enjoyment is my pleasure, and I certainly won't deny that to anyone either!! Also agreed that no matter what, mutual chemistry and compatibility are super important in the quality and experience of a P4P or civvie date, but many of us find this to be a calling of sorts, and for us, sexual healing/pampering/pleasing/teasing, in whatever form that takes, is highly enjoyable for us as well. I always have a great time; I don't need an orgasm to be enjoying myself (although I totally won't complain!); my partner's satisfaction is tantamount to my own enjoyment of a session.

And that is why you are one of the absolute best. I am a little partial.

I always make sure the provider is comfortable at all times when we play. With the current provider I'm seeing I just asked her if she enjoys our Sessions, She said she does. So that's good enough for me.

Does that not say something in volumes...the ladies just might not be turned on enough to want to engage OR they have no interest and are in it for the money and to give you pleasure OR the dislikes are more important so as to avoid something that will make the session harder.

Care to share

what you need me to be.  

The more, the better...

Some guys get all bent out of shape when the hooker they are with reaches over for that bottle of lube, pretty much telling him, he is doing nothing for her. You don't give a shit and possibly would not mind her reapplying should it get a little Sahara like down there

Im PAYING to get off... this isn't a relationship.  I'm paying someone to provide for serving me.   The idea that Im being "self centered" is so absurd that it defies reason.  She isnt going to cuddle up and spend the night (unless I pay for her to do so)  She isnt going out on a real date (unless I pay her for it) and she sure as hell isnt going to have sex with me unless I pay for it... so why on earth would I be concerned about wither  she gets off?

if she's not having a good time, then neither am I.