Write Review
1,980,896 Total Reviews 3,667 New Reviews
7,756 Users Online

TER General Board

The second time is more relaxed.....
MarkusKetterman 150 Reviews 801 reads
posted

Your comments are spot on, and eloquent as well. I cannot offer any improvement. Here is my take for what it's worth.

I've had several ladies tell me that the first time is nervous for them. Experienced ladies. I guess I can understand this, they don't really know what is going to come walking through the door.

The first time often feels just a bit scripted to me. A little tentative. Now - not always. Some ladies are just so confident that you don't see this difference. I've been with more than one lady where I did not see this difference until I compared the first time with a later second time.
And our time together, though often wonderful, seems to go by in a flash.

Either way, by the second time, it feels like a few barriers go down a bit. The lady now knows what kind of an idiot to expect (but I'm basically a nice idiot). The conversation becomes a bit more personal. The lovemaking a bit better adapted to each other, since we've had a the opportunity to get a little bit of a feel for each other. Time spent together seems to stand still.

For me the first time is a rush - meeting a new lady - the adventure of it. But I treasure the visits from the 2nd time until the point where the "relationship" either becomes too familiar or begins to be dramatic.

VisitingProf1475 reads

Okay, the question of the hour is:

   What things seperate the first time you see a lady from the second time? Could be any facet of the experience that stands out personally to you. Actions, expectations, openings, closings, etc.


For myself, the initial rush as I approach the meeting place, and the first greeting as one takes in her sights and sounds, and initial conversation. It is unlike anything one gets in real life, since in a very short while we'll be sharing intimate moments. Electricity in the air. Quickened breath. The pause as her beauty is revealed.

As for the Second Time, it is like going back for a sip of fine wine. The email exchange setting up a meeting is more open and personal. If the time between meetings has been a while, it is like greeting a close friend when the doors open once again. Conversation may return to things discussed in the First meeting. The transition to intimate time more nuanced, and yet more erotic. And the 'after time' deeper.


I could list mroe differences, but am curious to hear from you, both Gentlemen, and Ladies.

What stands out for you?

ReplyQuoteReport
MarkusKetterman802 reads

Your comments are spot on, and eloquent as well. I cannot offer any improvement. Here is my take for what it's worth.

I've had several ladies tell me that the first time is nervous for them. Experienced ladies. I guess I can understand this, they don't really know what is going to come walking through the door.

The first time often feels just a bit scripted to me. A little tentative. Now - not always. Some ladies are just so confident that you don't see this difference. I've been with more than one lady where I did not see this difference until I compared the first time with a later second time.
And our time together, though often wonderful, seems to go by in a flash.

Either way, by the second time, it feels like a few barriers go down a bit. The lady now knows what kind of an idiot to expect (but I'm basically a nice idiot). The conversation becomes a bit more personal. The lovemaking a bit better adapted to each other, since we've had a the opportunity to get a little bit of a feel for each other. Time spent together seems to stand still.

For me the first time is a rush - meeting a new lady - the adventure of it. But I treasure the visits from the 2nd time until the point where the "relationship" either becomes too familiar or begins to be dramatic.

ReplyQuoteReport
Carrie_of_London562 reads


For many guys the attraction of the hobby is the chance to meet many different ladies and they generally avoid repeat visits.

For others it’s the closeness and emotional intimacy that’s appreciated.

Personally, I love the excitement of meeting somebody new.  But the thrill of seeing somebody I’ve already met, who has chosen to visit me again is great.  It’s flattering and heart-warming they would come back

And the only chance of me opening the door in lingerie or stark naked is if I’ve met the guy before – and just getting ready for that turns me on


-- Modified on 11/14/2008 6:00:11 PM

Related Link: Carrie of London

ReplyQuoteReport
lotusling176 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
TheLadyKassandra320 reads

I really enjoy meeting new people and that is one of the many things I love about what I do.

I enjoy meeting people that I have a connection with.  For this reason, I find that each visit with the same person becomes better and better.  As we adapt to each other and build an intimate bond the experience deepens.

Of course, first-time sex is always fun and adventurous, nothing can compare to sex with someone when there is a good connection.

ReplyQuoteReport
lotusling350 reads

If the first time was good, the second great. If the first time was great, the second would divine.

For me, the second time is always better because
1) the formalities and pleasantries i.e. introductions, where, how, who questions, would have been more or less done with.

2) Both parties would be more relaxed in conversation having created some rapport from the first time.

3) There is less performance anxiety. I have had gentlemen who were quite the action figure be willing to attempt something different the second time i.e. more sensuality, sensitivity and intimacy.

4) Trust. Allowing space for the inner child, emotions and play in each person to emerge.

-- Modified on 11/14/2008 11:09:50 PM

-- Modified on 11/14/2008 11:15:29 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
VisitingProf144 reads

Jadetan's comment raised another thought/question.

It seems to me that now that I have some 'history' to point to in making an initial contact (links to board postings/reviews here), and well-respected ladies who are willing to give me nice references,

combined with

contacting ladies who themselves like exchanging emails of interest prior to a first meeting,

much of the First Time awkwardness seems to fall away, being replaced by a feeling of 'returning'. There is still the initial excitement, but it is more like 'completing the picture' that was painted via her website, postings, and emails.

Ladies, do you find a similar feeling, if after an appointment is scheduled, you've exchanged emails or read a man's posts? Does it raise the comfort level with you?

ReplyQuoteReport
TheLadyKassandra243 reads

It certainly does improve the connection to have spoken on the phone or exchanged emails before the initial meeting.  It helps to give an idea on compatibility so that by the time we meet, the comfort level is greater than if we hadn't spoken much before.  I find that some initial repor always helps!

Related Link: The Lady Kassandra

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher156 reads

with each successive visit as you learn to mesh with each other (both in a physical and mental sense.)

However, the first visit has a certain "Je ne sais quoi." that can never be duplicated.  Maybe it's the anticipation which is itself, a wonderful experience.  In any case, I'm undergoing this wonderful experience as I write this; ain't that right Jade?  :o)

ReplyQuoteReport
VisitingProf223 reads

there is a common interest that can be carried forward in the time between dates, via phone or email, and then shared or discussed further during a date.

When a lady is genuinely interested in the things I am researching, and asks questions, or desires to learn someting new, it is a real attractant. (Yes ladies, I do look to love you for your mind!)

My only regret is not being able to more public with shared interests. There is one lady who is studying Art History, and area I am not too familiar with, who would be a delight to go to a world-class musuem with to hear her thoughts as we gaze upon painted masterpieces. There is another lady who loves outdoor erotic photography that I would love to photograph as well. Nothing like natural sunlight on the female form! Alas, I will need to be content with indoor pictures when I can get the time to return to her city.

'Meshing' is great when it happens, isn't it? :-)

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!