Okay once and for all..

Once a cheater always a cheater or do you think a guy can change once he meets the one?????

And if he can change do you know any living examples of these men????

Jane, personally, I don't think it has anything at all to do with whether the guy cheated before or not. It has to do with life and relationship circumstances.

I'm sure there are plenty of guys who cheated at one time, but who never will again. Likewise, there are plenty of guys who have never cheated... but will in the future.

The question is, what is the guy's motivation for cheating? There are many answers to this question, but in answering this question for your particular guy, you will also answer your first question.

Space ghost coast to coast answered it dead on . Even Dr Phil will tell you to break it down. What happened to cause it.
Not what did the other person "do" to make him cheat. Its his deal could stem from lifelong issues. Habitual behavior patterns addictions broken prisms of "self" therse a whole psychology term dedicated to infildelities.
More important how do you feel about it . Can you undergo dynamic counseling with him to heal it and be better people each of you. Or is the option to seperate from the situation a much more proactive solution. . . for both of you .
xo
mo

A leopard never changes his spots lol

until we tear our pants going through the fence only to find it was the glare off the 7-11 sign.  People always value that which is either 1) scarce, or 2) that which they don't have.  Of course there is also the old forbidden fruit deal.  Some guys "cheat" just like they drive fast on back roads, for the thrill of it.   Some are looking for something they don't have at home, and even though they might not even know what "it " might be, they are always seeking.  Some like the thrill they get in trying to get away with something.  In other words, you can't list one reason why people do it, thus you can't predict how successful they will be trying to stop if they meet "the one". If they are the thrill seekers, I believe they could meet the most perfect lady in the world yet they would always have their eye on every girl who comes in the room to spot their next target.  But if they are the type who is looking for the missing part to their heart, having found her I'd like to think they would value her enough to realize what they have at stake.  People rarely value something they have more than when they think about losing it.  Then again, what the hell do I know?  

I'm ending a 23 year marriage. I've known there was lots wrong with it for a LONG time, but I NEVER cheated. My spouse consented to the (frequently and ALWAYS lovingly) requested sex as rarely as once every six MONTHS! There were many other things wrong in the relationship as well.

I first saw an escort about 7 months ago, after my wife decided (AGAIN) not to accompany me on a trip I didn't particularly want to go on in the first place. I've "hobbied" with increasing frequency since, and it's led me to the realization that I DO have a right to joy in my life.

I chose to seek the companionship of an escort because I didn't want to "cheat" on my wife in a truly emotional relationship. What surprised me was how awesome some of these ladies are upstairs as well as "in the flesh."

Will I be able to stop "hobbying" once I leave the marriage and forge a new monogamous relationship?

In a HEARTBEAT!!!!

Home made cookin'is always the best when served pleasantly with the finery of good conversation. Be sure that meal is eaten with delight and both parties enjoy!

This guide, like all guides have an exception here and there, but not often if at all. Both the female and the male are included in this little tale.

I never even went on a date with another girl while dating someone untilt he age of 43. I never, ever thought I would cheat, and I would not now with a civilian. I'm older now, and my sex drive just requires more than missionary. That and the smorgasbord on TER is just too tempting!

Same for me- I just needed a bj every decade or so.....

Because I'm single it makes it easier not to cheat -- but it makes it harder to fall in love.

I have two partners in my civilian practise who cheated on their wives with their present wives and have been faithful with them.

So yes, guys can change once they meet the one particularly if the cheating is acting out behavior against the wife.  Get rid of the wife and the behavior goes away.

Other guys are not monogamous though and those leopards won't change their spots.

The question to ask is if guys who have ATF's for companionship as well as sex would remain monogamous with those ladies.  I have heard many different statements.  I would suspect I would be monogamous with my ATF but that is something I am not going to have to worry about testing.

In combination, my looks, personality and poverty acted as life-long babe repellant.  100% safe and effective.

It took me about 16 months, after I got my separation papers, to realize "it" wouldn't be considered "cheating", technically.

I love technicalities now.

You can have me, maybe even Megapig or Duece Bigalow. Just take your pick. We may even consider various combinations and permutations as well or even all three!

As long as we are dredging up old sayings, let's go with this one,..."what is good for the goose is good for the gander!"

You don’t give ANY details about your situation so I’ll try to make some assumptions.  Maybe right, maybe wrong… but let’s see.

You’re a single woman who has fallen “in-love” (“in-lust” is maybe a better term) with a man  who you know has lied to a former SO about his fidelity. You’ve posted your question on an adult site designed for sex workers and their clients.  So, my first assumption is that you are a sex worker.  

It seems to be really difficult for sex workers to find potential mates among the general population of men.  Plus, most of those men won’t admit infidelity to a potential mate.  So, my second assumption is that he is a regular client of yours.  

I’ve known three sex workers who have established relationships with clients. For reasons of confidentiality, I’ll spare you the gory details.  Suffice to say that patterns of sexually compulsive behavior that are hard (let’s say almost impossible) to break comes into play here.  Plus, if a guy tells a BIG lie to his SO, his ethics are already compromised.  Which makes it easy to tell lots of little ones to someone else.  How well do you really know him?

I don’t mean to rain on your parade, hon. You are going to do what you will do regardless of what I or anyone else says.  It’s just that I hate to see more hearts broken than I’ve already witnessed.

My best advice is that if you want a truly monogamous intimate relationship that you “retire” from the “biz” and start dating guys who are not among clients.  But there again my advice is worth exactly what you paid to read it.

WowNikki or Felica Foxx WHY OH WHY would I want anybody else? It's just that there ain't more than a few women like them in the whole damn world... well.... MY world anyway..

For me, I see providers because I'm not getting enough variety at home, it's as simple as that.  I haven't found a provider though that can give the quality orgasm that my wife can, it's very intense with the person I love.  She just doesn't like giving blow jobs.....and oral sex is my fetish, well at least one of them.....LOL.

I've often wondered if I were single again, could I find a provider and have a "normal" relationship with her.  I wouldn't push her to change her profession, actually I'd encourage it. Besides the fact that the money is good, I also have what I call a "sloppy seconds" fetish.....LOL.

I never cheated in my entire life, until recently. Reason being I found a craving for sexual diversity and adventure that is not available with my SO. And for her religous beliefs, it never will be.

However, there are lots and lots of couples out there that enjoy "alternative sexual lifestyles" (e.g. swingers). Those couples also tend to love and trust each other very much. If that were available to me, I would have no reason in the world to cheat.

So again, it gets back to one's individual motivation. Take away the motivation, and you take away the cheater.

Thanks Mo. Why oh why did I not know about you a year ago when I visited Orlando? Oh well, hopefully there will be a next time