this has come up before (perhaps ad nauseum) but after spending many hours browsing reviews this weekend (what with the Noah's Flood up here in NE) i would like to urge my fellow brethren (newbie and pro) to exercise some semblance of conformity to the standard norms and practices of reviewing (on TER and other boards on the net -- remember the good ol' days of alt.sex.*?)


1. please use established/standard acronyms (BBBJ/CG/etc) preferrably early on in your review (as in an "executive summary"). some reviews are so mind-numbingly inane that one should only glance at the "menu" looking for keywords (especially when doing fast research/cross-checking). i know there are data fields for that elsewhere, but sometimes knowing the frequency/willingness of a provider to indulge in them and under what circumstances (in what town and with who/you) is important.

2. many of us are busy professionals with little time to read penthouse-letters style prose with your own flowery descriptions of common "everyday" acts (example, BBBJTC = "She savored my manhood bare till I paid her back in full with what seemed like buckets of love" -- GAG!)  

3. if your review doesn't give at least one subtle, unique, perhaps even poignant observation/insight/commentary about her personality/appearance/performance, then it's not very useful. i mean ANYTHING as long as it's not repeated in other reviews. it could be anything from "her ankles were too fat" ... all the way to ... "she quoted whole passages from Kierkegaard afterwards")

4. and those of you who use ALL-CAPS in writing reviews ... deserve to be shot!  




[deep breath]  

ok ...  i've vented enough. now i'm off to an (indoor) barbeque!  

checking off "willing to bring another provider" or "really bisexual" but no mention of anything approaching the above in the body of the review.

YMMV= no provider on earth would do what I just wrote down for the price I mentioned.

Falsifying the info up top really adds to the search time and helps no one. There's no extra credit for a 10 vs. a 7 review so why mess with the system?

Please write the review for the intended audience (guys) and not to write it to impress the reviewed provider.

If you really want to help out the reviewed provider, you need to write in such a way that not only is accurate, but would compel a guy to contact her -that is if you had a great time ...

Layoff the cliques YMMV (no doubt it's always Your Milage May Vary),

"every time I see her it gets better and better" (zzzzzzzzzz),

"everyone in the restaurant turned their heads and were jealous that I was with her..."(translation - everyone was thinking, "lookie there, the dork got himself a paid companion".)

I agree the lingo allows certain "efficiencies" and actually probably has an impact in standardizing providing itself; its like a new form of technical writing.

One problem on TER is that the first poster established all the "data"... sometimes I see a provider where "Sex" is listed as "No" because the first reviewer just got bbbj, but the dozen later providers all went FS: yet under a search the provider will still be categorized as "Sex: No". Maybe TER 1.x can have dynamic escort entries for more accurate searches?

Oh, I came across a term on a Seattle board called "birdwatching"... usually I can puzzle new jargon out, but not this time. Any clue what this is (ie. have I been missing something?) It must be something rare/extreme because every provider I saw listed was "Birdwatching: No" or "Birdwatching: Didn't Ask". Anyone? Bueller...?

O.

Have to mention the grammar and spelling... too many reviews are just painful to read.

And what about the guys with double t0's on their first review and she is a "Massage Only" provider?

Or have several categories:

Most amusing
Best documentary
Most useful
Most original
Etc.

T

Your review of Robyn might have to nominated in the most amusing section.  Needed a riding mower for that one, huh?

I once read a great review that could have been straight out of the pages of a Dashiell Hammett novel. Just think, a real-life Sam Spade, in search of the _______ _____ (no, not "Maltese Falcon").

To me, this was a lot more fun than a bland recitation of what's already covered in the detailed questionaire.

-- Modified on 5/27/2003 12:46:41 PM

For, at least he can own up to it..some people, just cannot. I hope that Robyn made sure to rinse clean of his bigotry and moved on gracefully to better pastures.

When someone has unrealistic expectations, they ruin the session for both. I've not had that happen since(Thank God), but it seems he had a similar experience with Luscious Laurel...So I'm thinkin Mr. Thruster may admit to being a bigot, but he's still not sure what he wants. I'm still not sure who's website he was looking at when he called me, but my pix aren't glamour shots, I don't lie about my age or my size and I've even been told I look better in person...So, it makes one wonder...Hummm???? PS. Check out Reasearch4hos reviews, makes THRUSTER seem like a real prize....LOL  

-- Modified on 5/27/2003 5:15:42 PM

-- Modified on 5/27/2003 5:16:50 PM

-- Modified on 5/27/2003 5:37:09 PM

My pet peeve is "treat her kindly, guys" or "be nice to this one, guys".  As if we're all jerks to providers except for providers about whom somebody drops that condescending line, and then we're nice because we were told to be?  Or should we just register it as a gushy sentiment and think the reviewer is a really nice guy, as opposed to the rest of us?

How about the annoying disclaimer that "the following is a work of fiction"?  It's already stated at the entrance to all reviews anyway, so give it a rest!
I also hate "did I mention?..."  being repeated over and over again, mostly about how great someone's boobs were or how great her BJs were.
I agree- "YMMV" seems to be a qualifier for the provider herself, meaning "don't expect her to treat you as well as she did me."  How the hell would the reviewer know she wouldn't be consistent?  Makes me think the provider wrote it herself.