What do you mean by a bit higher than GFE?

Care to share what to expect ?

And yes, there is a LOT of difference between the two!

I've been involved in BDSM on a personal level for 20 years so I can tell you unequivocally that yes, there is a LOT of difference between being a submissive while another dominates and being a bottom while another tops. (I offer the top/bottom thing under a different handle and higher fee, but I don't do the submissive/domination thing at all.)

So, which did she offer?

She has one TER review that she CIM. so that has my imagination run wild. I'll probably try her tomorrow

She charges 50 bucks more than GFE sessions.  I look at submissive services where the lady gets tied down by ropes and u do what pleases u.

not submission, and yes it is common for providers who offer Top/bottom and BDSM activities to charge a higher rate for such sessions. just be clear that she would be in no way submitting to you.

Higher doesn't sound very submissive to me.  It sounds like the person paying the money is the submissive.

What is the difference between being a submissive while another dominates and being a bottom while another tops in the BDSM seen? I will admit to being clueless in this area. I am just wondering.

if I understand the explanation I've seen, dominance/submission is a heavier psychological trip than the merely physical top/bottom scene, and requires a level of trust that can only be established in a civie relationship.

and most of the time there is no coitus involved. It's always sensual and highly sexual, but except in certain circles, no "swinging" per se in most BDSM.

On the other hand, you get people like me...

The main difference between simple bottoming (being caned or flogged or whipped, etc.) and submission is that the submissive must earn the right to be punished by her/his dominant. A bottom is into the endorphins for the physical rush, and gets it because he/she wants it; it isn't an "earned" thing.

Howdy,
I would classify Topping/Bottoming as more fetish related and certainly more sexual. The idea of Topping/Bottoming is rooted idea of who is being penetrated and truly spurns from 70's gay culture but is universal at this point. Although, traditional means of "getting off" are not always practiced. during these scenes. Often there is an element of power control where the person bottoming is geared up to perform commands for a sexual thrill - not for discipline or worship.

In Dominance/submission, more commonly referred to as D/s, someone is committing to the goal of subspace. Subspace, in a nutshell, is the warm spot deep inside where you're willing to do anything for someone else and committed to making their dreams come true. Some dark things can happen there but... it can also be a lot of fun to give up control.

at least, that bottoming certainly does not require bondage. bondage may even be a part of "vanilla" sex these days. i define bottoming as choosing to take the "bottom" (but certainly not subservient) position while participating in BDSM activities, sexual or non. that is why i described the scenario described by the OP as bottoming, and certainly not submission.

and jolene, while i certainly respect your viewpoint, i must say that i do not agree with your definition of submission either. however i speak as one who is not part of the BDSM community, and who does not have an interest in BDSM or similar kinks. therefore i translate the term D/s very literally, and completely outside the context of BDSM...as a relationship between a Dominant individual and a submissive individual, and such a relationship need not be sexual in the least. most of us are in D/s relationships of some sort....Teacher/student, Parent/child, Employer/employee, etc. within the context of a romantic relationship specifically, D/s refers to a relationship where one partner is the clearly the leader and authority figure, and the other clearly subservient.

i am a submissive woman, who has been slave to my Master and Husband for more than 10 years now. again, we do NOT engage in BDSM, or any fetishes. dominance and submission are not sexual interests for us, the terms are simply descriptors of our personality types, in all aspects of our lives. i am not aroused by being submissive, any more than i am aroused by having dark brown eyes...it is just the way i was wired. my Husband is the type of man who others naturally turn to for guidance and leadership, much to his personal irritation at times. and i am the type of female who has always felt compelled to please and cater to others, whether i wished to or not. through our lifestyle we are each able to simply be ourselves, and be accepted valued and loved for that.

the concept of punishment does exist in our union, but it is a very serious, sad, disheartening matter when the need arises for such. it is certainly not a game or a kink, and like any good slave/wife my goal is always to serve well and honorably, and never commit any offense which would warrant punishment. and here is where we disagree: i did not "earn the right" to be punished by my Master, just as i did not "earn the right" to be his. punishment is not to be earned, it is to be ardently avoided.

now in a Top/bottom scenario they engage in what i call "funishment," in which silly little offenses are created at the whim of one or the other party, and they engage in a fun, hot, sensual spanking/whipping/whatever when this "infraction" is made. and everyone is smiles and orgasms at the end. i am punished for committing actual offenses, which actually disappoint and upset the One who owns me...such as overcooking a meal, or speaking out of turn, or neglecting to complete my daily household chores in time. the punishments are intended to simultaneously teach a lesson and to instill suffering...and the worst are not at all physical. and because i strive to continuously grow and improve, i have not been punished in years.

scoed inquired about how seeing a submissive would work or apply in this hobby....well i provide a submissive GFE for my clients, and this does not imply any particular sexual or physical acts, but is nothing more than me simply being me: servile, obedient, attentive, eager to please and to heal. for many i embody an idealistic image of womanhood that they always desired but never believed actually existed in the flesh. you know, the good little woman completely focused on you, your personal interests, needs and desires. who is truly excited to hear about your day, as she removes your shoes and massages your feet. who only wants your happiness, and never has a complaint or contrary word. who accepts you as is, 100% masculine energy without the muzzle our contemporary society forces upon so many men. depending on generation, perhaps a woman like their mother or grandmother. but certainly not what a "modern woman" is supposed to be, nor what a modern man is supposed to desire. so, scoed, if a man has those particular needs, then an ongoing relationship with a submissive provider can work very well indeed.

now if he just wants to engage in a bit of spanky-panky, he need look no further than a "bottom." or heck, just an open-minded "vanilla" gal. when i get the occasional confused/misguided gent contacting me looking for such activities, i simply ignore them rather than take the time and energy to attempt to explain something most just won't understand (or frankly care about, lol).

I could not be in a SO relationship with anyone who thought of her self as anything other than my equal.  I do respect your choice but I just don't get it. Then again as it is not my life I don't need to. I am glad you are happy with your choice.

i recognize my value as very much equal to my Husband and Master...he needs me in order to thrive and be happy just as i need him. it is only our individual status which is not equal. in a wolf pack, there is one alpha male or female. in a large company, there is one CEO. but neither could function or survive at all without those who serve under them.

is negotiated and consensual.  Not sure what you are seeking.....if you mean BBFS, no bottom/sub/slave in her right mind would allow or do that! That is NOT OKAY!

A professional plays safe whether a Top or bottom or a switch.  And yes, expect to pay more and
be respectful.  S and M is a respectful activity between consenting adults no matter who is the Dominant and who is the submissive.  It is based on trust.

Just I couldn't live that way or live with someone like that. In some areas in my life I am the dominate one, at work, money matters and some others, in other areas I tend to be submissive, social settings, sex and some others. I chaff under authority of other and truly dislike taking charge and I need time alone each day or I get moody. I was just stating I could not function in permanent a dominate/submissive relationship. I guess I am a semi lone wolf.

scoed you certainly didn't cause any offense, i was only attempting to make a point about the concept of "equals."

and intimate relationships where the power only ever goes one way are not suited for most modern people honestly. most people today are more like yourself...adaptable and able to don different roles in life as the need arises. for some of us however, there just isn't any choice in the matter...this is who are.

I don't easily fit ether role. If some one exercises any authority over me I tend to get in a sour mood real quick. At the same time even though I am forced to do so often I really dislike being in charge. I have to work at it in order not appear uneasy among those I don't know. I am neither a follower or a leader and dislike both roles even if I fill them regularly.

I need to be lone for at leased two hours a day just to not get irritable. I can get by and not really notice without talking with anyone for quite awhile. I have gone, before I started my business or had a family, for well over a week without human contact. And it didn't bother me. I always wanted to be a social animal but I just am not one. I am not shy or anything like that I am not a social creature. I can't remember the last party that I attended other then work related ones.

I really feel my role in a pack is mostly that of the lone wolf.

Some kinds of activities I would like have to do with discomfort from some kind of fullness. From what I've seen on YouTube, I'm not alone in finding this exciting. Maybe it is that overfullness symbolizes erection in some abstract way (though the corresponding forms of release would be a bit messy).

For me the fetish wouldn't have to be entirely acted out; a provider telling a story (real or convincingly made-up) about eating and eating and eating, while occasionally touching her stomach and looking a little sick, would be just as much fun, and leave her fully functional.

Or consider a bladder fetish: Say she has to pee: she could say so with a smile and some eye contact, maybe say a little about the sensation of trying to hold it. Expression of discomfort is exciting to me.

And I'm a switch, in that regard.

bondage on the first date or even the seventh (sometimes never, depending on the players). Not until and unless there is unwavering trust built up. And that takes more time than most hobbyists want to take.