What is the funniest sex you ever had?

Here's mine:
when I was 31, I was dating a 21 year old.  His previous girlfriend wasn't really into sex or playing and he had never done RUSSIAN.  He asked me if he could try it.  Who was I to say no?  Well, it didn't take more than a stroke or two and about 10 seconds...he shot right up my nose!!!!  I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee.  I have never seen a young man turn so many different shades of red!

-- Modified on 10/5/2008 4:12:52 PM

It was during my first marriage. My wife was European and went home with the kids every summer.  I used the time to find and enjoy a new relationship each summer.  I had met this lovely tall blond lady who had just gotten divorced.  She turned out to be very bright with a great sense of humor; she was also sensual and multi-orgasmic.  It was great.  She confessed a fantasy of being raped by a Russian Cossack.  One night I rented a Cossack outfit, appeared at her apartment, burst in yelling in a Russian accent, and carried out the vaudeville version or a wild Russian raping the lovely blond lady.  It was hot, the outfit was very heavy, the fake beard and wig were itchy.  The sex was hilarious.  
We did have a nice rest of the summer. I was unwilling to leave my wife at the time and our affair ended.  Oh well.

some things are best left to memory.

I was with my So and we were using this heavy duty electric corded   and I vibrator
as squirting all over the place when all of a sudden I realized ....water electricity death. So right in the middle of a big one I said to him oh no am I going get electrocuted? He dropped the  vibrator he was laughing so hard ..we still laugh about  it  I thought it was a valid question .lol

Before 9-11 I was living in Southern California. I made the acquaintance of a couple of Korean girls going to college nearby. Let's call them Lin and Jin. These ladies were bisexual, and there was a strong D&S relationship between them (Lin was the Domme). I invited them to join me on my sailboat (where I usually entertained at the time), and things progressed to where Jin was laying on her back near the edge of the bed with Lin sitting on her face and really grinding her, while also slapping the hell out of Jin's pussy. I was pumping Jin's ass for all it was worth. All three of us started to O in fairly close proximity (only three way I've ever been in where this happened). What brought me over the edge was noticing a former SO of mine, who has dropped in to see if I happened to be on the boat. She was
in her full uniform (marine rotary wing aviation officer). My brain was gone, but I noticed her standing there, tilting her head and checking out
just who was doing what to whom. I lost my load.
My former SO looked me in the eye, slowly shook her head, and said "God", and walked out. I met her at a local restaurant for dinner a couple of days later, and said nothing about the events (my view is, it was her responsibility for walking in without calling ahead). Half way through the meal, she caught my eye, blushed crimson red, and started to laugh all at the same time. We wound up hooking up again.  Our careers separated us around 9-11. But now, I am retired, she is retiring, and we've set up housekeeping yet again. The story of Lin and Jin is HER favorite story - she tells it with tremendous panache to this day. Oh, and she knows that I hobby, and does not mind, as long as I'm discreet, selective,and the quality of the attention that I give to her does not suffer (lol)

I was 22. Landed a date with a young lady  that I thought would never even dane to go out with me. Restaurant went as planned but there was something in the food that hit us both as we got into bed at her house that night. We were trying to make love but clearly both of us were feeling rather ill at about the same time. We both ran out of bed at the same time, made a bee line to the toilet and vomited. At some point, while both leaning over the toilet, we were laughing and vomting at the same time. Disgusting but hilarious too. We felt much better, took a nice hot bath together, slept all night and woke up and had incredible sex in the morning. We dated for 3 years and still to this day I don't know why we broke up.  IT is funny that you posted this as this woman, now married and about 50, just sent me an email out of the blue and we laughed about this once again.

One night with my ATF, after a particularly long and luxurious BBBJ I announced that I was about to pop. I did and it was a veritable geyser that went everywhere!
She loves to watch me cum and she was giggling and yelling "AWESOME!" the whole time. She thought I was done but, to both her and my surprise, I had one more shot left in me. As the little guy throbbed I shot one more load up in the air and onto her leg. "WhooHoo!!!" She yelled as she jumped up on the bed and pumped her fist in the air! "That was the best load ever!"  We both started laughing our asses off.  

-- Modified on 10/6/2008 12:22:27 PM

I was just out of college and had a girl friend that we both couldn't figure out if it was going to be a platonic relationship or a semi-sexual one.  One had one or two go-rounds of limited success.

Anyway, one night I got a call from her.  "Come over right away!", she said.  So I go.

When I get there I ask "What's up?"

"My vibrator is broken and I'm horny, that's what."

"OK, let me look at it and see if I can fix it."

You can take if from there I guess, and no, I didn't get laid that night.

(Or for quite a while as I recall.)

It wasn’t the sex that was funny but what happened afterward...

After a great go, he went to get up and clean off, but he got tangled in the sheets somehow and did a head dive onto the floor.

I tried to hold my laughter. He looked at me and said, "Go ahead and get it out of your system."

I laughed myself to sleep that night...two hours later.

Oh boy, that is hilarious.  Trust me, I feel you.  I've been there, done that so many times.  Sometimes even when they smack you in the face with a hint, it still goes over my head.

Ladies pay attention. Mrfisher has presented a perfect example of male thinking. When presented with a problem (broken vibrator) we immediately think of fixing that problem.

So be careful how you word things around guys. If you don't want something fixed, don't tell us that it's broken.

b-

did you at least get to watch after you fixed her toy?????????   LOL

A few months ago my ATF texted me on the way to see her and asked me to bring her a AA battery. She said it was for the tv remote in her hotel room(she doesn't like to call the front desk). I showed up with the battery, she opened the nightstand, took out her "pocket rocket" and replaced the battery...

I think I made out better than you did though, I got to play along!

-- Modified on 10/6/2008 4:18:43 PM

Unfortunately I was too spent to go and get the camera...

She took the damn vibrator and walked out of the room.

Unbeknownst to me, she got in her car and went God knows where while I continued to sit in her room for an hour thinking that maybe she is taking a really bad shit or something.

Later I wandered downstairs and one of her roomates says:  "What are you doing here ____?

I told them I came over after _____ called me to help fix something.

They said, oh she's not even here, her car is gone.

Still clueless I drove home and tried to call her the next day, but she was never around.  I think another week went by and then it dawned on me and I was so completed unnerved by my total idiocy, that I was not the least bit interested in seeing a woman for another month.

Finally she deigned to see me and the first words out of her mouth were:  "Have you figured out why I was so pissed off at you yet?"

I said I think so, "I haven't fixed your fucking vibrator yet."  Then we both started giggling, but we still went another week or two before we had sex.


Oh well, live and learn.

We had made plans for a night out on the town but she did not have a strapless bra to wear so we made a pit stop.  After spending almost an hour trying on different things she finally picked one out and we were off.  We get back to the car and I kissed her before we got in...once in she started teasing me and one thing led to another and we were off to the races.  after the deed was done I reached behind the seat for a box of wet wipes left in the car just for such occasions and it was not to be found.  Needless to say there was going to be a stain on my cloth seat since there was nothing to clean up with.  We chuckled and finished dressing.  I reach in my pocket and grabbed my keys to start the car...now I know why my box of wet wipes was not there....we had gotten in the wrong car!   Laughing hystericaly we got out moved down the row two cars away and got in my car and drove off.

MF,

Does her voice sound just a little bit familiar?

... it was with a somewhat heavy gal.  Things were going well.  She had provided some great oral, some excellent titty-fucking, and was about to put me through the mattress with a vigorous CG ride!  So after surviving that, I suggested we switch to doggie as I could sense she was getting a bit tired and I needed to restore full feeling to my body again.  Right as I slipped ol' junior in from behind, the BED COLLAPSED!  I mean, BAM!! Box spring on the floor with mattress on top, frames out to the side and a head board that fell in on us.  Luckily, we avoided any injury.  I wasn't real thrilled when she stopped and said "we need to fix this", which of course translates into "you may be a customer, but you're still a man so YOU need to fix this!"  Fortunately I'm pretty handy, so I fixed the bed in short order which made her VERY happy.  Of course, ol' junior had gone south during all of this.  But my happy (if not a bit too heavy) provider was more than happy to suck me dry once I removed the condom.  It was one of the best BJ's I'd ever received!