If not, then please feel free to fuck whomever you please!

AF's is the harshest yet, and the only one to address the fact that she is out fucking several guys a day, and HE is the one feeling guilty.

I really thought he made this post to get a well deserved bitch slapping back to reality, but everyone is being so fucking nice to him. What's wrong with you guys? The OP needs help, he needs tough love from his fellow mongers to tell him what an idiot he is, and to go out and fuck as many different women as it takes to get this woman out of his system.

I mean come on, feeling guilty about fucking just one woman while "the love of his life" is out fucking a couple of dozen different guys a week. This is a cry for help if I'ver ever heard one.

and I still get the occasional twenty something year old hottie the old fashioned way. Not as often as I like, which is why I hobby, and I certainly don't feel these women are demeaning themselves by having sex with me.

This is what your ATF told me. lmao

"I've been seeing this guy Tony pretty much non-exclusively for the last year. Since I fuck several guys a day, he's just another client although I'm familiar with him.

I was touring and I decided to try out another dozen or so clients.

The sex was great but I obviously didn't have any connection. But pretty much none of the clients I feel any real connection to although they think they have a connection with me.  
He was a very sweet guy though.

However, I can't escape the feeling in my gut that he thinks he just dropped the ball.

I think he crossed the line by thinking he crossed the line. I don't know, bleh.

"

-- Modified on 6/26/2011 1:51:11 PM

-- Modified on 6/26/2011 1:52:58 PM

with your regular.

Now you have crossed back to the side that makes a hell of a lot more sense:  polyamory.

It shows the deep conditioning we are all susceptable to regarding monogamy that we actually develop feelings of guilt when we "cheat" on women whose profession is to be cheated with.

I wonder of psychologist have a term for it?

Sort of a sexual Stockholm Syndrome.

She screws other guys for a living for goodness sake. The sex is still great, but I get a sense from her that she still feels a bit betrayed.

I've been seeing my ATF pretty much exclusively for the last year.

She was touring and I decided to try out another girl.

The sex was great but I obviously didn't have the same connection as I do with my ATF.  She was a very sweet girl though.

However, I can't escape that feeling in my gut that I just dropped the ball.

Have I crossed the line?  I don't know. bleh.

Don't get too attached to women you pay for sex. No good can come of it. Now go fuck someone else!

I wouldn't say that you "dropped the ball" as there is, in reality, no ball to drop.  You can confirm that by suggesting to your ATF that you want to see her tomorrow...but with no envelope.  That'll straighten out any ambiguities about the relationship (that is in your head).

Now go and see another gal and enjoy yourself.  And there is certainly no reason not to see your ATF again...just leave the "exclsivity" out of the equation...she certainly does!

His post was obviously a cry for help. lol

Good response ChgoCPA, it is all about the envelope. It is a business, always has been always will be.
I do know where Tony is coming from though, hard not to get attached to your ATF, especially if they are as beautiful as the ones i've seen. Can't have them in real life, but having them for an hour, is better than nothing. Plus, no bullshit to put up with afterwards!
Tony, take it for what it is and enjoy the moment. I am still amazed that these women allow a 55 y/o geezer like me , to screw them, even if it is for money.

                                                                                                    Peace

You saw someone else and you are feeling guilty. See a problem here dude?

How did you drop the ball?

If anything you crossed the line by seeing her exclusively for a year.

If your ATF knows you are seeing her exclusively then she probably won't work so hard for your business.

Most women are turned off by clingy men and you sounding a wee bit p*ssy whipped atm.

You said the sex was great with the other gal. So do her again! Your ATF likely won't mind and probably will be relieved.

Re: This is what your ATF told me. lmao

LMFAO! Well played DA!

As others have said, I don't think you dropped the ball. There's no exclusivity clause.

The only thing that you have to do is decide what you want to do, for which there is no wrong answer. Either see other women, and enjoy the sex you have - or not. If you feel that you compare meeting with others to your ATF, and for you they don't stack up, then see your ATF. The fact she sees other guys doesn't diminish whatever you do have. But just realize that it is fantasy. Her fantasy just happens to be what is right for you.

If you choose that route, be careful. It can be a slippery slope!

feeling guilty about being "unfaithful" to her, in my opinion, totally misses the point of what can and should  be a truly wonderful relationship. There is no fault here, but I do believe you need to rethink your feelings and get control of them or you are setting yourself for misery.  
One of my very favorites quit the business a few years ago to marry and raise a family: lovely for her and fine with me. I will never see her again I am sure, but I have heard through friends that she is happy. Every phrase of that relationship is fine: the first meeting, the frequent meetings interspersed with lovely times with many other providers while she proceeded skillfully and professionally to earn her living , and my current pleasure knowing this lovely person seems to be doing well in this new phrase of her life.
As my friend Mr. Fisher often says: you don't pay them to be with you on the date so much as you pay them to leave when the date is over.

Tony, I would not feel guilty, but in a sense I know how you feel. I also have an ATF. Although I see other women, and do not feel guilty, she has a special spot in my heart. Sure, i know the routine, but it is what it is. Just try to let her go for a while and see what happens. Don't let her call all the shots. After all, it is a business arrangement and it goes both ways. good luck!

He is pussy whipped by providers, man; you need help, you are hopeless case. Dude, here is a reality check for the rest of us (obviously you are too pussy whipped); most of us got in the hobby to fuck as many beautiful women as we can before we kick the bucket, get it.

You should have just stayed married, if you were, that is. Don't you get a hard on just looking at some of the beautiful women posting here? If not, seek help by seeing as many women you can.

A few years back I was seeing this girl who worked at the Bunny Ranch in Reno.

I knew her well before I ever saw her at the Bunny Ranch so the connection was there.

I was planning my second trip when she learned I had booked other girls at the Ranch and she got pissed.  I mean seriously upset, I've never heard her upset before.  It took me by surprise.

Needless to say I backpedaled and saw her instead of the other girls.   That was the last time I saw her.

I know where you're coming from, you just never know how a girl may feel.  

I guess ask her what she would think about you seeing other girls or perhaps inquire about a duo with one of her friends.

If she doesn't like it then don't tell her about your side girl.  If she does well then have it.  

... and unless you guys have a special arrangement, you are being silly.

Hey, sometimes a hobbyist and provider have a special arrangement that goes something like "As long as you see me exclusively, I'll see you for $85/hr" or some such thing. Obviously, if you have a specific agreement of that sort, you shouldn't see other providers.

Then there is the matter of if the provider is your girlfriend. If she is your girlfriend and the details of your arrangement indicate that you don't see other providers, well, then, of course you shouldn't.

But other than that -- if you are a hobbyist and she is a provider and you don't have any special agreements otherwise ... then you are being silly.

See other girls when/if you want and don't sweat it.

Now, the cold hard fact of the matter is sex is sex, whether p4p or not. And the money doesn't turn it into something other than sex; and seeing someone exclusively for a period of time can have certain bonding effects without regard to the fact money has changed hands. You have to be aware of this. And so, yeah, sleeping with someone else will FEEL like cheating. But it ISN'T. Keep that in mind and you'll be okay.

Maybe I am just shallow, but I don't understand all this about asking you ATF if she would get annoyed if you saw other providers etc.  As I see it just you can have a warm, professional, and friendly relationship with you doctor, your contractor, or your psychologist, you can also have one with  your ATF provider (tho I never had one ATF, but a number of favorites when I was most active in the hobby).  Unless you are in love and planing a permanent exclusive relationship (marriage, living together,etc) with her, which seems like a very bad idea, this is all missing the very point of a special and wonderful relationship which is being messed up by blurring some very important line. Don't go to your doctor because you enjoy the rectal exams she/he performs or the blood tests she/her orders, don't continue to see your psychologist because you plan to sleep with her and have her leave her family for you,  and don't have a favorite provider because you want certain inappropriate committments between you.  

Anybody who sees one provider for a year and then feels guilty for fucking someone else is waaaaay over the line.  Must I really explain?  You made a wrong choice (exclusivity) and now you feel guilty about violating it?  Wrong!  Double wrong!  
So here's a test: go see your ATF and tell her how you feel.  Ask her to marry you.  (You might as well be married at this point.)  She will either;
1) Burst out laughing.
2) Get pissed and ask you what the fuck you were thinking
3) Throw herself into your arms and say, "Yes, Baby!  Marry me!"
If the answer is three, run, do not walk, in  the other direction.
Or you could save yourself a lot of time and just stop seeing her exclusively -- or at all.  Sorry to be harsh, but Gambler made me do it.

Trust me, big Tone....  I've been there myelf with my ATF who always claims we are friends, more than just this biz, etc.  so I was naive in believing that and called her on my bday thinking a "break / freebie" since I'd probably seen her 30+ times.. GUESS WHAT?  NOTHING!  
SO, as CPA said it best, try to get a "freebie" from your ATF on a special day or go without an envelope and it will clear up the "confusion" or guilt real quick.

Move on and enjoy other women, my friend...

okay, thanks fellas.

my head's on straight.

I set up a duo with her and she doesn't know about my extra-curricular activities.

After reading everyone's responses I'm gonna lay low for awhile, clear my head and start fresh with a whole new bunch of ladies.