So... a john walks into a bar lol

I just got back from a business trip at a beautiful location where I thought it would be good to set up a little playtime with a reputable local provider as I had one night to play and wanted a sure thing.  So I did my research and found the perfect woman at the right price with triple figure reviews that were all good.  

I got in touch via email and we hit it off well.  So after a couple of days of pleasant back and forth emails/texts plus me sending my references, the night before we set up where and when to meet, made a date for 7:30 at my hotel (it was her idea to meet at my hotel) to spend 90 minutes together.  I suggested we meet at the bar and told her what I look like and what I'd wear so she would know it's me. Cool. We had a date.

But... what happened after that comes straight from the twilight zone, at least for me.  Here is a recreation of a series of texts starting at about 7:20 pm last night that read like this. The texts paraphrased are all from her.

7:20 pm – I’m running a little late. I’m really sorry. I hope to be there around 7:45
(my response: don’t worry. I have nowhere to go. It’s all good. Even if you can’t be here until 8. Just text me when you get to the bar. I’m sure the end result will be worth it)

7:25 pm – Thank you.  I guarantee it will be

So I went down to the bar and ordered a bottled water and waited.  And waited. And waited. Radio silence. So two bottled waters and an appetizer later I text her at 9 pm simply saying ‘hi there’ and was not sure what to expect. I really didn't think she'd blow me off, but I guess no one expects it or we wouldn't make the date in the first instance.  But I get an instant response:

9:00 pm – I’m so sorry. I’m leaving the house now. Is it too late?
(my response ‘not at all’)

9:01 pm – I’ll give you 90 minutes for $100 less
(my response ‘thanks but I don’t want a discount.  Don’t stress. It’s ok.  It will be great seeing you so drive safe)

9:02 pm – Thank you. I’m on my way to (wrong hotel)

(my response, rolling my eyes: I reminded her of ‘the right hotel’ that she choose to meet me at)

9:03 pm – What a ditz I am. I’ll be there in 15 minutes. (note, she originally suggested to meet at my hotel as she said it was easy to get to. PS it’s a beautiful hotel with incredible views)

9:50 pm – (No word from her yet. WTF? I wrote ‘are you ok?’ to which she immediately responded)

9:51 pm I’m lost. I can’t find the hotel.  Where is it?  
(mind you it’s in the easiest part of town to find, virtually connected to the convention center and I told her that and wanting to smash the water bottle, which was glass, into my head)

9:55 pm – I found it.  I’m here.
(to which I said great, meet me in the bar)

10:15 pm – (hasn’t shown up yet.  I text a question mark to which she responded)

10:16 pm – I’m really nervous
(this really confused me. This is a woman with triple figure reviews and all excellent. In her city johns on the local board recommend her as the milf to see lol.  So all I can write is to ask why she’s nervous and she responds)

10:17 pm – I can see you.  I don’t want to meet at the bar. Let’s go to your room
(I say do you want to meet me in the lobby and go up together and she says no, for me to go up first and she’ll meet me.  I say let me just settle the tab and that I’ll go up and text the room number - which I do, now thinking I have absolutely no idea what is going on here but at least we'll do this thing after all. Let me just say what I know you’re thinking – no, I’m not an ugly guy.  I’m not the best looking guy in the world but I have been told I’m pretty decent looking – between an 8 and 9 I’ve been told So she next texts:

10:30 pm – I’m sorry  

(that's it. that's all she wrote.  Not that I was totally surprised but this was the easy part once she was already supposedly in the building. Somehow I didn’t think she was apologizing for being late, but I had to ask what she was sorry about because I somehow must have wanted to see the spike being driven directly into my gut)

10:31 – I’m leaving.  

(Oh shit, I’m fucked. What just happened?  And it's too late to find anyone else. My only night for play. But like a moth to a flame I had to ask why)

10:32 – I had a really rough past two days and I don’t feel well.  I’m sorry.

And that was it…  Please tell me what you think.  All speculation, reasonable and not reasonable, will be greatly appreciated.  Holy shit, nothing remotely like this has happened to me after many years in the hobby

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That sucks! I had one eight hours late once, she locked her keys in the car while it was running.

 Ok, I'll substitute my responses for yours:  

 7:20 pm – Provider:  I’m running a little late. I’m really sorry. I hope to be there around 7:45  

7:30 pm  Z:  Ok.  

8:15 pm  Z:  Cancel.      

 That's where this date ends for me.  Everything that follows is wasted time.   I would've had a plan B in store:  either a nice dinner, a movie, or a swim in the hotel pool.  Did you have a travel companion?  If so, maybe you should've contacted your colleague(s) & see what their plans were for that evening.  You should never let a provider string you along for that long.  Never.  

 Don't worry about why she didn't meet you.  My brother, I'm sorry this happened to you.    --z

this makes me very sad to read....as a provider i am BIG on mutual respect.  

That was BEYOND disrespectful no matter what her excuses were!!

It is always best to be up front and honest...you should have known when she was an hour late and still trying to see you!  

I am sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience!!  

come to Phoenix and I will take alllll the pain away!  

 
xoxo,
Sara

I had similar, although not quite as involved.

I scheduled with her, sent screening and references, she confirmed. This was all done a week out. She said to confirm the evening prior, which I did, she said "OK we're all set, see you tomorrow evening".

The day of at about 2pm for a 6pm appt., I get my email from P411 that she viewed my profile. At about 2:30pm she sends an email that says "see you at 6, I'm staying at XXXXX hotel, location". So, the hotel was about a 45 min. drive for me, I left extra early. I get to the hotel 15 mins early, went to check my email prior to sending her a text telling her that I'm there, and there's an email from her from 5 mins prior (so 20 mins before the appt) and she says "sorry, but I need to cancel". ARGGhhh!

It sucks, I feel your pain, but it's the nature of the beast.

or she simply told you the truth. Either way, a bit of compassion goes a long way.

Contact her and ask if she is OK. See if she would still like to meet.  

She'll either say no, or perhaps - she'll make you a nice offer.

You really have nothing to lose

True. True. And true.  I wish I was this smart then -- but i am now!  

Still, I cannot imagine other than meds lol, what caused this and the moth in me wants to check out the flame.

No back up plan except for tv and room service.  Saved some cash but stupid me

I like that thought.  In fact, i actually I did contact her and told her that whatever happened I'll respect that she had a bad day and not to worry and I'd like to see her sometime when I come back -- and no response whatsoever.  wow, just wow!

If only my meeting was in Phoenix. Next time I'll be smarter and go wherever I'm headed via Sky Harbor and come see you  

You need a red Sharpie to cross her off your list?  

Time to start researching again.

That just sucks, Bro.

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Wow, brilliant theory...alas, i only that were the reason.  That would tie up in a neat and understandable package.  But I'm from thousands of miles away and though her pics don't show her face I don't think that's possible.

I SURE hope so!!  

I am much younger and lively!  

I have lots of drive and ambition towards starting my own businesses! (:

She strung you out to give herself time to set up the other, more profitable date and to verify him.

It happens.

It doesn't explain everything from 7:20 to 10:15.
Substance abuse would explain most of that.

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During the time she jerked him around she could have seen him, collected his money and still have had plenty of time for the other, phantom date. Look back on his timeline, she could have been done with him, with his money in her pocket long before she even claimed to have gotten to the hotel.

Sounds more like a case of drunk, stoned, or simply flaky behavior on her part.

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We don't know the locations involved so we don't know the distances between the two.

If a reg offered up a last minute overnight bc the girl he was was going to see cancelled, the facts as given by the OP would more than fit into my scenario.

You don't think women take $3500 over $750 last minute? Some simply can't pass that up.

It happens every day in our little world.

Do you want mine?

I'm wondering if she was ever in the parking lot of the hotel at all.  

Steph xoxo

By the time she sent him the text she was on her way to him, she would have already have finished the session with him. The timeline doesn't fit at all.  

OTOH, the timeline fits perfectly from the perspective that the hooker in question was drunk, stoned or simply off her meds that night.

After it all settled in my guess is she was never at the hotel.  Thing is if she wanted to blow me off she did not have to keep texting me; ignoring me til I go away would have worked just as well.

At 9 pm she says she is just getting on the road. She said she would get there approx 9:20.  

At 10:30 the date is off. She could NOT have met with him for 1.5 hours.

We are BOTH speculating here. That is what the OP asked for as many facts are simply unknowable.

-- Modified on 2/7/2016 9:39:10 PM

Sorry that sounds like a mess and someone who does not respect your time.
She reached out to you 10min before appt to say she would be 15min late.
At 9pm which is now an hour and half after your appt should have started she is just now leaving the house?
What!?!How is that possible?At that point I would have just said thanks but no thanks.
I understand everyone has bad days but I mean the conversation you described doesn't make any sense.
And then after all of that waiting you send her a message to say you are still interested?Wow...

and obviously, if she knew me there would ave been no problem whatsoever....

although I think the OP's compassionate/understanding followup should get a response from the woman.

Then again, we have no idea who she is, where or how she operates....

Her very first email to me was a bit strange, not strange enough to make me walk, but I sent a very typical vanilla note and her note back was mostly coherent in a 'written just before last call' sort of way.  But then the communication smoothed out and all was good until the night in question.  

What got me was when she responded to every text I sent as the night wore on. And coherent responses.  But then she said she was really nervous and that got me.  Nervous??? My reviews are pristine; no worry about LE.  And she has reviews that go back 7 years so this wasnt her first rodeo.  There's nothing about this garden variety transaction that would make anyone nervous.  I think you and PS make some great points about her either self medicating or actually needing her meds - your points combined with the nervous thing leads me to believe she may have missed a benzo, or taken too many.

Some providers have boyfriends that don't know what they do and the covering up while trying to maximize business brings out sketchy behaviors.  It's possible she was set to do the appointment and return home with Mr. BF at a reasonable hour but getting lost botched her plans too much to avoid arousing suspicion.

Shitty thing, no matter what.

Hey, all that you say makes sense and would have to a man who had not shifted over to being ruled by the small head.  But at that point I was way way out of town with no other options for the night except cable tv and that was not the option I wanted.  It was a little bit desperation and a little bit trying to win one for the gipper as I didn't want to believe I was being fucked over.

Come on dude, keep up.

There are many potential possibilities to explain her erratic behavior. Being "really fucked up" is the most likely one.

She might have been been running late for the 7:30 for numerous legit reasons. She could have had the offer for the overnight any time after 9pm.

And I agree, many possibilities and her going to the higher bidder certainly is one of them. As is yours.

hmmm, the boyfriend thing  could be where the being nervous part  came into play.  But she's been reviewed since 2009 or so, so that's a lot of hiding to do.  Not that it can't be done I suppose. Or maybe he's a new bf.  I never thought of that option but it does make sense.

No it doesnt prove it, but I think it lessens its possibility.

I think something else came up.

We'll never know for sure.

Although my response would have been a bit different.  

I would have responded to the first message saying she would be a few minutes late with "ok, no worries, I will be at the bar waiting for you" just like he said, but after the first excuse I would have not have cancelled like Z. I would have simply switched from bottled water to tequila and would have responded "don't worry, I will be at the bar, but not necessarily waiting for you and definitely not sober"  and then added "please feel free to still come if you would like, but I make no guarantees of sobriety" lol

She got a last minute request and decided to squeeze that guy in before you but took some kind of drug that made her feel ill while with him and by the time she got to the hotel felt so lousy, she decided to bail.  

Or, instead of drugs, she might have eaten something that really upset her stomach.  

She is now so embarrassed about it that she can't face you.

It sounds like she did squeeze another appointment in (or maybe had a hard time getting away from Mr, BF) and just ran out of time.  

Maybe got a text from him asking where she was or saying "I just passed by Applebee's and you aren't really there with Ms. BFF, so where the fuck are you?"

It sounds crazy that a provider would opt to have such a dishonest yet possessive relationship but it absolutely happens.  I once asked a coworker, whose BF thought she worked at a strip club, what happens should he go to the club on a night she is ostensibly working there and not find her there.  Her response: "Hell no! I'd kill him if he went to a strip club!"   Lol

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Unless you like it, lol. Seriously you don't need to reward bad behavior.

Steph xoxo

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we have to communicate that? I thought it was just a given!

When you get to CR, it is just a given. Actually it's sort of expected behavior. lol

She could have been seeing someone else and trying to stall the OP. Or she could have being all of what you said. either way it was inconsiderate as hell based on the info the OP gave.

Steph xoxo

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with the very first provider i tried to hire.  

in a different city than mine for business.  email a girl.  she says she'll be there at yada yada pm.

half past yada yada got a text sorry got a flat tire.

an hour past yada yada no i'm not coming.

almost turned me off of providers.  luckily for some ladies i still soldiered on.

it happens.

not as bad as what happened to me two months ago:  a top rated los angeles provider turned me down only after she saw me in person for the first time in her parking garage of her apartment as i came to the appointment.

she rejected me to my face.  that stings!

you move on dude.  but i learned long ago, have a couple of other ladies' numbers on your phone for back up.

9:00 pm – I’m so sorry. I’m leaving the house now. Is it too late?  
 (my response ‘not at all’)  

 
You should have said yes when she asked,  Is it too late?

A date with her in the future. Number of things could have happened. There may have been so one in the hotel she knew and she would not be able to explain her presence there. Her car was repossessed, she was banging her BF and having too good of a time to see you. She won't need money rent for a few mor days so she was taking some time off to relax . Just random shit.

I don't want anyone else to get caught up in one of these but with 100 reviews that show no signs of this degree of flakiness I don't want to hurt her business as she seems perfectly capable of doing it herself.  I don't want to impact her ability to earn a living or buy her meds and this is why I even avoided mentioning the city where this happened.  

But I don't think she will send herself down in flames; too decent a reputation over time, which is why I booked her. I'll chalk this one up to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now I will just reinvest those funds in someone a little more (but hopefully not too much) stable.  All I need is another business trip lol.