Sometimes I'm running late and in that case I always text or email the gentleman to let him know I'm running late and why. And I always give an ETA. If she was giving you the run around and changing the time, it sounds like she was booked up and her date before yours went on longer than she thought.
Personally I prefer not to have more than one date a day because I've had instances where the date was going so well, we extended it by an hour or a few hours. And I don't like to juggle dates or rush because I like both of us to be in the moment
Only my second date.
First was like clockwork. Text, hotel, text room #, and I’m walking through the door.
So, I expected something similar for this date.
Set up date 2wks in advance through verification service, as provider was visiting. Original time was 7pm, with instructions to contact the day before. Contacted, and she asked to move time to 8pm. I agreed and she sent me the Hotel. About 20 miles away, heart of downtown. No problem, I plan accordingly and get into parking garage 5min til time. She only communicated through a verification service message system, so I sent a message 5min til 8 that I was here.
No reply…
I waited 30min, sent a message saying don’t know why the silence, but I’m out. And left.
When I got home, I saw she’d replied to my final message about 5min after I sent it. Saying her schedule got behind, and to let her know if I still wanted to meet. I didn’t reply.
My question is etiquette. Everything I read about is etiquette, etiquette, etiquette. All on the shoulders of the date.
How long would you wait? The more I thought about it, the less I wanted to go ‘next’, especially if she was booking ‘back to back’ like that. This is new for me… and I recognize my ‘sensibilities’ may not fit the premise. But I enjoyed my first time, and it worked well.
Anyway, I’m miffed. Mostly because I wasted an evening. I was invited to go to dinner, and begged off to fulfill my requested obligation.
So, what is your view of etiquette and both date and provider responsibility? And… what is your ‘thinking’ about stacked back to back delays, etc?
My number is 12 minutes. How I arrived at that I'm not sure; but I know that if they are 10 minutes late with no communication, I start getting pissed. (All they need to do is make a call.) Two more minutes and I'm out of there.
Always have a plan B if possible.
I'm more willing to wait if she's being communicative. Otherwise about 10-15min after scheduled time and I'm moving on with my day. As for being "back to back" like that, it kinda kills the mood for me knowing that. And makes me think she'll rush me out the door.
Agreed. For me, it depends on the responsiveness. A couple of times a provider has texted me a few hours before our time asking to push the time back an hour or so, and once when one said she could meet me earlier than planned, if I was able. But when I arrive as planned, text for the details, and they go radio-silent on me, that can be a different story. Since I only see those with are well-established and with good reputations, my chances of being stood up are small.
One, however, completely jerked me around, and not in the good way: We confirmed an evening appointment early in the day by text, and she gave me the hotel name. I arrived 10 minutes early, texted at 5 minutes before.....silence. Texted again after 15 minutes, and nothing for another 10 minutes or so, but then her saying she was "on her way". On her way? Wasn't she already supposed to be there? I texted back that I was leaving, and she wrote back, "Have a nice trip".
I dont leave my house without a room #. There is no reason why you cant have the room # as long as you agree that you wont show up unannounced or until given the green light
It doesn't work like that for guys, sweetheart !
We don't get room number unless we are there in the parking lot. That's the standard protocol. Maybe you do things a bit differently, but most women don't give out the room number like that.
While I've gotten hotel info anywhere from two days prior to the morning of the appointment, I have NEVER gotten the room number prior to actual arrival in the hotel/incall parking lot.
I would wait 20 minutes max.
I was supposed to meet a well-known and reviewed provider at her incall. I confirmed the day prior with the time and was acknowledged. I got there a bit early and parked then texted that I was there but waiting in the car until getting word back. Three minutes past the appointment time I texted again saying "now you're officially late!". No response. I kept texting every 5 minutes and getting no response. I actually gave this one 30 minutes and then left.
She then texted me and said that for some reason she wrote the wrong time on her calendar and can I come back. I told her I could but I would have to cut the two hour date to one hour because I just didn't have the time. I got a lackluster, un-enthusiastic response response back, so I said "okay then, maybe next time".
I NEVER had that happen before and considering her reputation I considered that to be unacceptable. She texted me the next time she was in town hoping to see me. I ignored her.
I am outcall only in my homebase Vegas and like you I am not leaving home to go to the strip without the room#.
When I am touring I am incall only and there is no way I am giving a guy my room# when I give him the location 1hr-90min in advance of appt time.
I've had guys show up to location an hour plus ahead of time. A guy who just knows my location shows up that early is really indiscreet. I wonder what he would do if he had my room# as well?
Guys do not get my room# until they have called or text they have arrived at my hotel.
Just my .02
you waited 10 minutes longer than I would have. After 20 minutes, if I don't hear anything, I will leave and not look back, but if l get a text with a reasonable explanation AND an estimate of how much longer I have to wait. If I don't have to be somewhere, I will usually stay if it's not more than 10-15 minutes longer. For me communication is the key. If they are running 30 minutes late, and don't call or text to tell me. they will never hear from me again, and I will be patting myself on the back all the way home for not giving deposits.
That is a good point concerning deposits. I’ve always read, ‘don’t go to a provider requiring a deposit’.
No deposit for me, so this wasn’t an issue.
I’ve read some more recent reviews on this provider, and she is retiring from touring this trip. Many have said she seems ‘disconnected and uninvolved’. She is 30, and been doing it for a while. Perhaps she was simply done for the day, and found ghosting preferable to overtly cancelling. Don’t know.
Regardless, I don’t think I’m waiting that long next time. If someone is being rushed out the door so I can take his place, I don’t think my mind would be right for enjoyment, anyway. I want at least the perception of belief she’s had time to clean up for me.
First, another explanation that I've heard about. Sometimes, someone is already in the room and asks for an extension. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and if she's having a good time, the hostess will agree to the extra 30 min or hour from the guy already in hand (or mouth or other place).
.
You might think that the hostess could make up an excuse and say to her guest. "I was supposed to meet my girl friend for dinner. Or was it to go to a club? Or a movie? Whatever, I'd love to have you stay, but please excuse me for 2 minutes to give her a call and explain that I'll be delayed so she doesn't worry about me and call the cops on us." whereupon she goes into the bathroom and calls YOU to APOLOGIZE and to ask if you can come by later.
.
(Some or even many Providers have a safety person they check in with before and after a meeting. If she goes overtime and doesn't call, the safety person might alert hotel management or even the cops.)
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How long would I wait? 30 min.
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My first NCNS (by a well reviewed Provider), I was really worried that something was wrong (cops, mugged, etc.) and started calling her assistant many times (t -5 min for the room #, t=0 t+5 t+10 t+20 t+30 t+45 t+60) for an hour. Her assistant was very nice but working at her own job (bartender) to take my calls and to try to reach my hostess. I left after an hour.
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Since then, there have been occasional but COMMUNICATED delays ("Sorry, she's a running a little late. 10 min OK?" "... another 10 min OK?" but usually keeps things reasonable: 20-30 min, tops. My last NCNS? 30 minutes. I emailed the booker (all email; no phone or text; worked for me several times but not this time) when I arrived 15 min early and got a reply. t -5, I asked for room number; no reply; t=0, sent another email, no reply; t +10, email, no reply; I left after sending an explanatory email at t+30.
.
Providers: find an excuse and call the guy! A call and cancel (or delay) is better than NCNS.
Time to wait for an NCNS in progress to call before leaving: 30 minutes.
Only my second date.
First was like clockwork. Text, hotel, text room #, and I’m walking through the door.
So, I expected something similar for this date.
Set up date 2wks in advance through verification service, as provider was visiting. Original time was 7pm, with instructions to contact the day before. Contacted, and she asked to move time to 8pm. I agreed and she sent me the Hotel. About 20 miles away, heart of downtown. No problem, I plan accordingly and get into parking garage 5min til time. She only communicated through a verification service message system, so I sent a message 5min til 8 that I was here.
No reply…
I waited 30min, sent a message saying don’t know why the silence, but I’m out. And left.
When I got home, I saw she’d replied to my final message about 5min after I sent it. Saying her schedule got behind, and to let her know if I still wanted to meet. I didn’t reply.
My question is etiquette. Everything I read about is etiquette, etiquette, etiquette. All on the shoulders of the date.
How long would you wait? The more I thought about it, the less I wanted to go ‘next’, especially if she was booking ‘back to back’ like that. This is new for me… and I recognize my ‘sensibilities’ may not fit the premise. But I enjoyed my first time, and it worked well.
Anyway, I’m miffed. Mostly because I wasted an evening. I was invited to go to dinner, and begged off to fulfill my requested obligation.
So, what is your view of etiquette and both date and provider responsibility? And… what is your ‘thinking’ about stacked back to back delays, etc?
I just go do something else if she is running late.. While in Vegas couple of yrs ago, I was waiting on a gal, and she said she is stuck due to the Rock n Roll marathon. I was staying in Downtown and there were lot of road closures because of the event.. So we moved our 8:00 P.M. to 10:00 P.M. I went downstairs, put about $100 on Video Poker and came came back with over $300.. Did well that night.. I can be flexible as long as she is in touch with me and communicates. If she ghosts me, then forget about it !
But..but.. but.. I ain't even waiting more than 10 min. in my car until she gets her shit together if it's an incall situation. Catch you next time !!..See ya later !.
-- Modified on 5/13/2022 8:53:32 AM
My time is as valuable as anyone's. If a lady is more then 15 minutes late without contacting me it is likely she doesn't respect me or my time. I don't do this to them. I don't put up with bullshit. Things happen but in an era of cell phones it is just rude not to communicate delays.
I have two providers who I seen regularly over several years and I would wait a hour or more for them. At that point we both have a long history of being on time and not canceling. For new providers I am in the 15 minute school of thought and hopefully less. I try to stick with well reviewed P-411 providers and avoid the BS
The question of how long to wait seems to be well discussed here. And I agree that generally, if she's communicating consistently, my tolerance for waiting is longer. Life happens, and as long as a 30-minuite flex window can work both ways, I can deal with it. But leaving me hanging with no response - that's a total fail and I'm gone after 15 minutes and won't rebook without a very convincing apology and explanation.
Now on to back-to-back: This has been discussed many time in the past and I see it as a totally different issue. For me, I don't care. Whether her last appointment ended 10 minutes ago, 10 hours ago, or 10 days ago, as long as she observed safety protocols and had a shower right before we meet (and after the last guy, of course), I'm down to go down.
This is all just common polite and professional behavior, and it works both ways.
Life is good
The Cat
One of the main reasons I see providers is that I'm busy and don't have much time these days for personal relationships. I book based on my availability, not hers. So if a provider is late it means sessions run short for me because I usually already have other things lined up after. I typically arrive 10 mins early and let them know I have arrived for when they're ready. No communication and I'll leave 5 mins after meet time. With communication I'll be willing to wait 15 minutes.
That said I've only had issues twice. One provider who I see regularly is always 10-15 minutes late, so I just take that into consideration when scheduling. Another one, who I am bummed about because she was so much fun, just always ends up rescheduling by 30mins - 1hr. First two times it happened to work for me, 3rd time it didn't and I never hit her up again.
My ATF is always on time, and she typically texts me 20 mins beforehand to let me know she's ready and to just come up when I arrive
Did you show up early..?
A great question would be, how long should you wait if you showed up 30mins early.
Moving on to answer your question.
Ten minutes. People got stuff to do..
Continuing on..it makes a gal weep reading how all you men, assumes the provider was doing back to back appts. Really? How so? Were you in the parking lot watching the hotel double doors....
Maybe, just maybe, IDK, I wasn't there at all, she was taking a shit and was wiping her ass. Maybe she was brushing her teeth. Perhaps she was eating, hanging upside down by her toes watching hulu..
IDK....
Have a good day all
It is an assumption, certainly. However, all other or at least all I can think of, would allow her to reply. If she’s hanging by her toes, ignoring her patron, that’s even worse.
As a provider, I tell all clients that if they are late then they will have to wait until I am able to fit them in (I don't care what the reason is). I explain to them that it cuts into me making money and that either they can wait or I'll charge more.
If you drove 20 minutes to her hotel & waited 30 minutes you have wasted enough of your time. She does not respect you, or appreciate your business. Poor communication & lack of professional courtesy you leave immediately. I would not wait for a potential client that long. Bad energy & you haven’t even met yet no bueno. The provider should have responded before your appointment time. Choose wisely.
If I arrive at the agreed upon time and text her letting her know, and she communicates that she needs a few more minutes, then no problem, I can wait for up to 15 minutes. If it's going to take longer than that I'll leave, otherwise I start getting paranoid sitting in the lot. Once a woman texted and said she was having an issue and she needed 30 minutes, so I left and came back then.
If I arrive, park, and text for the room number and I don't hear back from her within 3 minutes, then 100% of the time it means I'm getting ghosted with no response. It's happened to me numerous times. Now I will text when I get there, then set my timer. If I don't hear from her after 5 minutes I'll send a 2nd polite text asking "everything okay?". At 10 minutes I'll text again and say "I'm going to head out, I'm not a fan of sitting in parking lots". I might wait a couple minutes more, then I leave. I know from my past experience I'm just wasting my time at that point though, it's not going to happen
Once I had a woman text me later that night and tell me "You were the only appointment I had scheduled, so I left town, sorry about that". I was just happy she told me what happened, so I texted back and told her no worries, maybe next time when she's back in town.
So yeah, I'll wait 10 minutes, but I've never heard back from a woman after 7 minutes or anything. If it's not in the first 3 or 4 minutes, then it's not happening at all.
This is never an issue with P411 ladies. I always confirm the day before and the morning of. Pretty much the same with ladies who have several TER reviews. However women I have contacted through bottom feeder sites are the ones who will keep you sitting in your vehicle as you await their text in the parking lot of the Motel 6. I have steered away from that for the most part!
She was P411, through which I contacted her.
This woman was a P411 veteran.
It depends on the situation. If I get replies back asking me to wait for a few minutes then ok. The longest I waited was 25 minutes, but there was a mixup and 2 girls were sharing the room. If I don't get a reply after 5-10 minutes, and it's happened only once, then I send a "I'm leaving" message and cross her off my "to see" list.
Most women are narcissistic and it takes a lot of self control to act professionally against their natural impulses. They don't care about you and never will. However a few manage to restrain themselves enough to establish a professional reputation in order to make a living. But even they slip back into I'm a princess mode from time to time. You have to wait? Sucks to be you.
Most women are narcissistic and it takes a lot of self control to act professionally against their natural impulses. They don't care about you and never will. However a few manage to restrain themselves enough to establish a professional reputation in order to make a living. But even they slip back into I'm a princess mode from time to time. You have to wait? Sucks to be you.
He's not entirely incorrect.
In the past, I've had the same provider be 20 minutes late on 2 separate occasions with the following excuses:
"I lost track of time"
(@ 8am for 6 hr date)
and
"I don't have an excuse (for being late)"
(@ 10am for 3 hr date)
If Johnny Deep wasn't good enough for Amber Heard, imagine your ranking in women who regard you as a complete stranger, let along a significant other.
Sometimes I'm running late and in that case I always text or email the gentleman to let him know I'm running late and why. And I always give an ETA. If she was giving you the run around and changing the time, it sounds like she was booked up and her date before yours went on longer than she thought.
Personally I prefer not to have more than one date a day because I've had instances where the date was going so well, we extended it by an hour or a few hours. And I don't like to juggle dates or rush because I like both of us to be in the moment