No, not clock watchers, just the opposite.  I've had a spate of outcall dates lately with indie companions who arrive at my location extremely late.   One was 45 mins, one 1 hour 15 mins, one actually 3 hours late.  The first two were two-hour appointments, the latter an overnight.

I work a day job, and if you could see me, you'd know I desperately need my beauty sleep .  So when a two-hour appointment set for 9 pm doesn't commence until after 10 pm, it's hard on me.  I feel it (not in a good way) the next day.

BTW, I call an agency from time to time, and their girls always show up on the button.

Last evening I was tired, but looking forward to a relaxing two-hour 9 pm get-together with a well-reviewed Chicago lady I'd never met.  At about 8, she calls to ask if it's OK if she shows up "fashionably late".  I hesitate, but she promises 9:15-9:30.  At 9:35 she calls again to say "I'm on the road!"  At 10 she calls again to say that she's getting closer.  

Having had a string of these experiences lately, I was, frankly, annoyed.  When she finally showed up at 10:15, I told her it was too late for me, gave her half the donation for her trouble and sent her on her way.

Whadya think?  Too harsh?  Too generous?  Have you had this experience?   Would you post a negative review (I haven't)?

I feel that a little consideration for my time boundaries is not too much to ask.  I know things happen (traffic, life events) and I will always be understanding.  And I make allowances for pretty young women and the associated drama. But when it's just plain tardiness, I find it disrespectful.  If you have a phone, you have a clock; if you have a GPS or MapQuest, you know roughly how long it's going to take to get to my place.  

I show up at work on time.  Do I just have to put up with this if I want to enjoy the lovely indie side of life?

I'll take a short nap now and await your responses...

The simple fact is that YOUR time is worth something too. When you see a provider, you are not paying her with just the envelope -- but with your time as well.

When a provider shows up dramatically late, as in this case, it is entirely appropriate to give her half the donation and send her on her way. In fact, it would have been reasonable to cancel altogether when she called you at 9:35. After all, by showing up late she is extracting YOUR time in exchange for NADA. Providers wouldn't accept this, and neither should hobbyists.

As for reviews -- can't write one if there was no hanky panky.

HOWEVER -- there DO exist plenty of fine providers who are on time. You just need to book them instead of the other ones.

Is handing her half the donation and not getting a night cap to help you sleep.

She should have given you something for your time and money and given you sweet dreams. Nothing like a good orgasm to make a man fall fast asleep.

Kisses Haley

You're right, of course.  Didn't seem to be on offer...and I was in a foul mood...

At 10:00 when she called, you should have just canceled her right there instead of waiting until she showed up. You should not have paid her anything "for her trouble". Driving time does not count. She spent no time whatsoever with you, thus deserves no compensation whatsoever.

She was completely inconsiderate and rude. How many of these women would go bonkers on a guy who shows up over an hour late and still thinks he deserves a session?

You are right that people need to have punctuality and show up when they say they will, no matter what the get together is for. Not doing so just shows the other party how much you respect and/or care about them.

b-

I can see being 10-15 min late with a call ahead of time to ask if that's going to be a problem but when showing up over an hour late and stringing you along the whole time is just outright rude.

You were way too kind in giving her half the donation,unfortunately she will learn noghing from you canceling on her because she was late because she was still paid .

I'm sorry you had that happen,in the future I would tell the ladies you have an early morning so you can be in bed by whatever time.

Had a 2-hr. date set for 7 pm with a popular provider a few years ago.  At 7:30 I called her and she said she just left her place and would be there right on time at 8 pm.  I considered this an honest mistake.

If I'm seeing somebody I haven't previously seen; I will give them the name of the hotel and then ask them to call from the parking lot to get the room number (2 call system).  That way if they are very late, I will shut my phone off and don't have to worry about someone knocking on my door at whatever hour of the night.  Mr. Happy functions better in the early evening than after midnight.

Agecies: It's easy for them to be on time.  They book on and sit around in one location, either their home, an agency hang out, or spend the day with their driver. So being on time isn't going to be an issue.  They also have a line up of drop offs to do, so being 30min late for one person means being 40 min late for the next guy, and it goes right down, so it spells disaster for them.

I admit I can easily be 15min late.  I try to be on time, and often succeed, but it's hardly unheard of.

Now the problem with being an independent and having evening bookings is that life can get in the way. We aren't islands, we have people who live with us, family and friends who have no idea that we do this. So they come by, and totally mess things up. You'd like to say "Get out, I have somewhere to be, I can't talk to you now," but then they'd wonder - where on earth are you going all dressed up at 9pm on a Tuesday?  The trick to leading a double life, is to never let on that there's a whole second part of you life they have no clue about. People have to feel they know everything about you in order to prevent questions and snooping.  It's a painfully hard balance.

Yes, you have a job, and you have to be there on time. And like you, I have a job, and can't always leave when I'd like to. A project issue comes up, I might have a date for 7pm, but I can't leave the office due to an emergency. So... I'm likely going to be late. I can't sacrifice my job for a date.

Now this is an infrequent occurrence and there's no reason she shouldn't be able to contact you to let you know what's happening.  

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you don't have valid reasons for a complaint. You do! It sucks, it messes up your day, and there's no reason it should be happening so frequently.

Another thing to consider, if she's the type of lady likely meeting 2 or more people in a day - well one guy takes to long to shower. The next one shows up late, or makes it hard to leave on time and just like with agencies, it becomes a chain reaction, messing up her entire day.

Too generous! A $50 for gas is all she deserved and never call her again. There are plenty of providers that respect time and will do you a great service. We've all had this happen and that's they way I started dealing with it. Don't beat yourself up about, she isn't.

I know and appreciate that many clients choose to keep things on the "up and up" - and I operate in a similar fashion; even when an extension isn't necessarily warranted I prefer a "clean break" and will go above and beyond as well.

But really?  She was an hour late and you gave her half of her two hour rate (which I'm going to  conservatively assume was $200-300)?  Must be nice to make an appointment, fail to keep your obligation and still get paid more than most Americans wages for 12 hours worth of labor!

I am sometimes late by 5-10 minutes for incall appointments because I'm always fiddling with my hair and makeup BUT my "hour" is also typically 75+ minutes and I am notoriously generous with my time.  For outcalls I take great care to plan travel time, especially if I'm venturing to a new residential location but when visiting local properties I have my prep and drive time down to a science.  Timeliness and consideration are components of being a true "professional" and commanding the rates that we ask.

In the event that I am late due to unforeseen circumstances (i.e. last night. While traveling to an overnight outcall in another state I hit flash traffic because of a severe accident) I keep my client posted minute by minute via text or phone.

No, I don't think that you have to put up with it-
I think that you should emphasize in your correspondence that being on time is a necessity either explicitly or suggestively ("Is 9p okay for you?  I have a really early morning tomorrow and can't go beyond 9p-11p so you should really be comfortable with arriving at 9p sharp").

I am generous with my time also and I don't book back to back or even high volume so staying extra is not a problem for me.  

Ally and Lauren made excellent points and I totally agree with them.  

There is also the point that many of us have not worked a regular job in several years and it's easy to loose perspective.  

But staying over to make up for being late still doesn't resolve your issue of needing your beauty rest.  I thank you for posting this thread and I know I will work harder to correct my tardiness issue in the future.  

Thanks

There was nothing wrong with what you did...  you were a gentleman and that's fine.  When they break the agreement by their excessive tardiness, you are under no obligation.

I just had a thought which might be useful should this happen again.  I'd suggest shortening the date to one hour from two.  You get something for your money, she does not go away with nothing.  I'd set the stage for this when she calls late...  maybe at the half hour mark.  

If you are (for instance) traveling on business & must be at your best at that early morning meeting...  you really do need time to sleep enough, cleanup, get breakfast, etc.  

I don't usually do outcalls with providers I've never had a successful meeting with...   I can see how one traveling might not have this luxury.
Best Wishes,
skb

Hmm.  Good points, esp. paragraphs 3/4.  Your thoughtful perspective is interesting and appreciated.

When I get laid, I don't need to sleep.

Energizes me!

THAT kind of lateness, no matter the endeavor, is bullshit.

I fire people for games of that nature. I don't have the time, it is a respect issue.

Don't send out mixed signals though.

"Fashionably" late is 30 minutes.

lots lately and I don't understand why cause its slow everywhere and I think we should all be happy to get any calls!
I am sorry this happened to you but I'm glad that agents still have a good rep as far as there girls showing up on time and I know the girls I work for, some are also indy. are on time and happy to be so.

When I was still a student, I remember twice being shamefully late because I decided to get ready way in advance, then sit down and work on an assignment or study. Only to loose track of time and glance at the clock to realize I'm officially 20min late before I've left the house!

This when groveling for forgiveness becomes a useful skill.

Hee!  Yes, a little groveling would have gone a long way last evening.  That also didn't happen, unfortunately...just sort of an assumption on her part that it was OK, par for the course...

Yes, you deserve to have your date commence on time.  But not all professional appointments start on time...doctors, lawyers, etc....not all start on time or have perimeters you can depend on.  Now granted, our industry, by nature, is more clandestine and as such, providers should know that sometimes running late means a persons alibi might expire.  Of course, in a perfect world escorts would possess all the *professional* qualities needed to provide good service, on top of any looks/performance qualities.  But organization does not *tend* to be the quality escorts are promoting...and the other skills often are distract from those behind the scenes requirements that make a successful business.  I do believe that there are many indies that probably should really be using agencies because they lack the drive/time/skill to handle the management aspect of this job.  

But back to your posted scenario...

She called to say she was running late.  She communicated along the way...  It does not sound like you told her at any point that you were concerned about time.  I would have been slightly upset had I been having a bad day, been running behind, had communicated along the way with my client seeming to be ok with it, only to show up and be turned away.  I'm glad you gave her half the fee, as yes, she deserved it if you had not informed her of your time concerns.

Communication is a two way street, and essential to ANY business relationship.

There are pluses and minuses to using indies vs. agencies...  Agencies girls *tend* to do higher volume.  A well run agency oversees that girls run on time...if they don't, the company can loose money.  Fines, etc. may be in place as motivators to keep girls on schedule.  You may trade off organization/structure when using indies, but  a girl can often times make up for being late in other ways (discounts, extended time, etc.).  If you prefer a stricter adherence to time schedules, I would suggest you stick with agencies for your future endeavors.

Regards,

xoMegan

Yeah, I guess I should have told her sooner that it was an issue, although that was pretty clear from my tone and demeanor on the phone.  

And I guess that's why I kinda felt obligated to give her half when I sent her away.

The other things that impinge on all of this are(of course) the two conflicting motivators:  horniness and irritability.  Wasn't thinking entirely straight.  Hence the post.  

I have learned from long experience that it never pays to hobby when you are going to be rushed for time, and delays while the exception, are still common enough to take into consideration.

At least she did keep in touch, so some compensation was in order.

Since you had scheduled two hours, and she came an hour late, why not at least share the remaining time you had since you gave her half the donation?

It would have improved your mood at least.

you gave her 1/2 her rate. I think that is overly generous for someone that didn't feel that your time was as valuable as hers. Now if she had an excuse like babysitter running late or car trouble and she still made it, then I would say that she earned her severance. Just being "fashionably late" doesn't warrant that large of a donation. Hats off to you for being such a stand-up guy!

You were too generous in my opinion.

I've argued on this board numerous times that when a session doesn't happen, the lady is entitled to a cancellation fee if the reason for the failure was something beyond her control. But that isn't the case here. Being 10 or perhaps 15 minutes late is not acceptable, but it does happen and there are plenty of legitimate reason for running a little late. There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever for being an hour late though. None. In this instance though, you dind't owe her a penny for her troubles. Perhaps losing a few appointments is what she needs to get her to change and improve her professionalism.

I'm sorry you seem to be having such bad luck with indy ladies. Hope your next experience is better.

I see MORONIC ROLLOVER.

Better his money than mine. I would have told her to hit the bricks.

However; i wouldn't have permited her the room # or asked her to even make the trip after all the calls. At least save her the entire trip.

She would not have gotten squat from me, aside from a tongue lashing.

BTW, nice to see you on the happy pill

When she called at 9:35 and said she was on the road, I would have told her not to bother. No hard feelings but part of the enjoyment of a session for me is anticipation and relaxation. Aggravation isn't on the list of stuff I pay for. There seems to be plenty to be found for free.

-- Modified on 4/1/2010 3:04:01 PM

...why are all you gals whacking on the guy?  I mean, he did what he thought was right, was overly generous apparently, but was able to walk away feeling put out a bit, but honorable at least.  He didn't have to feel badly about how HE acted.  

I am corn-fused by this attitude.......can anyone explain maybe a bit???

....think about it.....if there was no communication or the drag on going on, then you were way too generous.

It is just as much your time and you are paying for it.

regardless of what communication did or did not happen.  75 min. is still outside of what anyone *should* reasonably expect is ok for being late...

But then again, I probably would have asked if I was running too late if I felt your irritability kicking in...  The situation is not set up for success when it starts with someone being irritated (on either end) with the other person.

I think you did the best you could in assessing your feelings, and suspect you now have lots of insight on how you might handle things in the future should this come up again.  I also think you did the right thing in the moment, and have nothing to worry about there.  I hope you feel better about it after getting some feedback...there are a number of really great comments here, and we are lucky to be able to share such things.

All my best,

xoMegan

I usually arrive about 20 minutes early if the traffic and all is good. Gives me time to park my car freshen up and so on. I was once 30 minutes late but that was an accident on the highway and honestly couldn't be helped. I personally if I were you would also have canceled when 10pm rolled around and told her to forget it. Its not your problem its hers. Sonds like she tried to push your time back to fit in another client. Very unprofessional.

No. That's not true. I would've given her shit! Just no money.

At least she kept you posted, but still. WTF?

No reason other than she'll be 'fashionably late'? I take that as 10, 15 minutes. Half hour tops. An hour and a quarter? No fuckin' way.

Better have a damn good excuse, or lie, to make me want to keep the appointment.

At MOST you owe her gas money... To pay her anything more is encouraging bad behavior, and she should be ashamed to take it.

If she wanted to give you a quickie for a discount, then whatever.

I am usually bounded by when I have to leave. I try to allow time for 15 minutes of slop to her schedule. If she is running late it comes off the back end. I recently had to change a 90 minute appointment to 60 minutes because she was late.

I'm glad in the end, on this one, but it is annoying as I bust my ass to be on time or have it come out of my end (unless she has the time).

Appreciate all the input (okay, could've lived without "moronic rollover", ha!)  I was conflicted over the whole thing, obviously.  Despite the paucity of reviews under this handle, I've been around for a bit, and have never sent anyone away before.  It just sort of came up on me suddenly, and I realized I had to do it.  Wasn't sure of the protocol or whether I was out of line, so like anybody, I guess, I did the best I could in the heat of the moment.

Lots of variety of opinion here, from different perspectives.  Shows we're all different, which is the joy of it, right?  Enjoy, and stay safe.

2V

I was commending him. He was doing what he thought was right for the situation and that is being a stand up guy. Had it been me...she probably wouldn't have gotten anything. I feel if we as ladies expect you guys to have respect for our time being valuable, then we should have the same respect for yours. Otherwise, we really aren't doing our job... right?

...that is just where I posted it.  I couldn't understand everyone else's position on it.  You are right, of course, but, the guy has to do what he feels good about, regardless, right?  Now, I can see him gettig slammed by others merely because he would've said "screw you" and paid her nothing.  Sometimes, it seems as if you just can't win on this board......

The proverbial "Can't win for losing" comes into play a lot here.

"OMG, did I make out kewl last night Gertrude. I had this date at 7:00pm on one side of town and he was a hunk. I stayed over at least 45 mins. just to give him and extra POP. This even though I knew I had to be on the other side of town for a 9pm appointment. But hey this guy gave me 2 extra benji's for going the extra mile, like I felt he would. lmfao"

So I got in my car and kept the 9pm guy sort of strung along so I could get there. He seemed okay for a few minutes delay so I knew I could play his ass. Hell, I did not even arrive until 10:15pm. lmao  And he was so tired and I guess disappointed that he forked over another 2 benji's for my time.

hahahaha, so don't tell me Gertrude that we cannot make the big bucks off some of these CHUMPS and do very little for it. Sure sometime I might get stiffed, but most of the time these CHUMPS think with they little head and IT'S ALL GOOD!!!!"

Think it does not happen my friend? It happens all the time because birds of a feather... well bad providers of the same feathers stick together.