This is somewhat of a copy paste of my reply in PilotPete's thread about missing the old ways, and I decided might make a good thread topic of it's own..

I feel that about 75-80% of my emails and phone calls, are, I believe, LE. When we ladies do our screening process, we have one goal in mind: to be able to prove 100% who you ARE, and 100% who you are NOT. Pretend you are in some dream, like I don't know, the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" and you are attempting to prove who you are; or pretend you've been arrested because they are certain you are someone ELSE, and you must prove that they've made a mistake - you are really Pete Smith..what would you do? Then, as far as Providers go, they now have proof that you are indeed Pete Smith, but is Pete Smith a cop? Now, we have to prove that you aren't, so how do we go about that? Ok, now we know you are Pete Smith, and you're VP of Ops at XX Corp. and are NOT a cop, how do we know you are a gentleman, and a 'good guy'? References...from the ladies..seeing your reviews and posts on TER, etc..

So, it goes like this:

1) Prove who he is - he says he's Pete Smith from Lansing, Michigan
2) Ok, he IS Pete Smith from Lansing Michigan, but is he a cop, or an agent?
3) Ok, he is Pete Smith, an engineer, and NOT a cop, but is he safe? Will he harm me?
4) His references in Los Angeles, and Chicago have confirmed he was a gentleman

Or, pretend your daughter, 16, 18, 22, I dunno, came to you saying Hey, Dad, I just met this cool guy on the internet and he wants to meet me at Starbucks, as she grabs her sweater and heads out the door - what would your questions be??

That's the goal here, and the best way you can facilitate that process, or at least understand the process will make it much less painful for both! Nobody likes it, but we all agree we have to get there before getting to the good stuff - seeing YOU! And think of it this way, to a degree, you may only have to do it once!
The gentlemen I have seen know that I'm more than happy to refer.  After all, we want you to be happy and safe.

I hope you find this post helpful.

Love you,
Sedona

I can prove who i am and where i work,but i have no references.The last time i hobbied was 83.What do i do to prove I'm a "gentleman"?

You are so right. I have often been criticized for my tuff screening process, but I don't know another way to do it and be able to  totally feel comfortable and safe. I like to be able to enjoy myself when I make new friends and the screening process helps this happen.

I think Sedona has hit the nail squarely on the head with her  comments on screening, but I also am sympathetic to Jimmy's problem.  A few thoughts in that direction --- First, some of us are willing to see you without references if you can prove who you are and where you work -- we believe that you have provided enough "leverage" to guarantee your gentlemanly behavior.  Second, some of us will see you without the additional screening provided by references if we can talk with you and get to know you some before hand.  Some do it over the phone, and a few that I know will meet you for coffee first (for which a donation may not be requested, but a small token would be a gentlemanly thing to offer).  There's almost always a way around a problem, and if you explain it to your first (since '83!), you can also ask her to serve as a reference downstream.

Thank you, Sedona, and welcome back, Jimmy!

Abby

you say ~80% of your inquiries are from LE, right? that's pretty darn scary.

i'm not gonna ask how you know (obviously!  but if i was in your shoes and 80% of the time the johns knocking on my door were "oinking" i'd be paralyzed with fear. but hey  ... more power to you (and less to them)


their motto:  "In God we trust, all others are suspects."

Thanks Abby!I'll try as you suggested.

I joined a site called Date-Check some time back.  Date-Check is like Room Service 2000 in that it confirms to a member provider that the guy she's about to meet (also a verified member) is legitimate and not LE or hopefully a serial killer.  When you join Room Service 2000 they take the same data from you that is common on the provider request forms we commonly see on web sites.  There are many guys out there, myself included, that object to that intrusion on their privacy. and who can blame them for being leary of any web site that keeps this stuff?

Date-Check is very different.  When a guy applies for membership, instead of taking ANY sensitive information, they ask a provider member to verify him.  The verification by a member provider suffices to allow for client membership.  BTW, a provider must be verified on this site as well, and can be verified in part by verified clients, and other ways I am not familiar with.

I have used this service a number of times with great ease.  In fact, I once was on the phone with a provider, and she was home and on-line, gave her my code # and she just went to the site and looked me up on the spot.  Not only does she see that you in fact are verified, but she also gets to look at a personal profile (mostly optional stuff that you need not respond to if don't want to), not of your business phone, etc. but of your likes, and dislikes in a session.  So, she not only has a comfort level about seeing you, but she also knows just a little more about how to make you a happy client!  It took this provider less than 1 minute to accomplish what would probably been a wait of a few days, with telephone tag or e-mail tag to find out.  It freed her up to continue booking, and see better revenue I would think.

And every time you see a Date-Check provider, she can add her verification of you to the profile.  I currently have 6 providers who have verified me on Date-Check.  It's the same as having 6 provider references.  Every member provider who I've spoken with really likes the service.  The guy who runs it is easily accessible and returns e-mails within 24 hours if you have a question or problem.  Since I joined Date-Check in February, it has grown immensly in the number of provider members.  I assume that client members have grown just as large.  I think we all should take a look at this site.  It costs less than one half hour of a typical provider's time to subscribe for a year. A bargain in my book, if only to allay the initial fears that we all, client and provider alike, have about an initial meeting.  My only regret is that I wish I came up with this idea.  It's near perfect.  The imperfection is that jimmyofsd needs to get one Date-Check provider under his belt to join.  It's really not for newbies.

Sedona, it would seem to me that this is one possible solution, although I do know that the vast bulk of guys probably wouldn't join.  I know that when I visit a city I look at who is verified on Date-Check for that place and then look at their reviews on TER.  It saves some hassles if I were to meet a Date-Check provider.  It also serves as a provider's marketing tool.  It really is another site that list a provider with some pix and other info she may want to put up.

DISCLAIMER:  I am not an employee or principal in Date-Check.  Nor do I in any way gain from lauding the merits of this site.  I just think it's a great idea and a real help in this hobby.

F.

-- Modified on 6/25/2003 6:31:36 PM

I completely understand a provider's need to screen very tightly. It is real easy for me to visualize that the more a lady knows about me, the more comfortable she will be during our date.

I have relied on provider references and that has worked very well for me. I have found out that it is a very small world - in other words, a lady I have seen in one city will turn out to be a good friend of a lady I'd like to see in another city.

However, ladies I have talked to have commented that it is not always easy to get a reference from another provider. I would encourage all providers to do all they can to make the reference system work.

You gotta drink but what's going to get you, the alligator in the water or the lioness behind you.

By the way with a prostitution conviction, can you lose your right to vote?

A prostitution conviction, as a "John" is a misdemeanor and does not take away your right to vote.  You need to commit a felony for that to happen.  But please don't commit a felony.  We already have enough felons in this country.

I think it's the same for a simple prostitution conviction.  Pandering and other more "organized" prostitution crimes are felonies, along with whatever attached encroachments to their rights are involved.

Maybe you should e-mail Heidi Fleiss and ask her.

(strange, I typed a whole reply, and then hit submit and it gave me an error message?? So, if this ends up duplicating, sorry)

Yes, they are frightening numbers, but I think SD LE and the polititicans want the word out that SD is a big city with a 'small town' mentality, and they don't want the hobby here because we're a 'family town' and they really want to present that family touristy image for SD. All that's fine and dandy except that our activity doesn't interfere with any of that, or 'taint' our town (other than when the Superbowl was here) and, in fact, can provide some potential, if they actually could think further.
That being said, I feel badly because there are going to be some wonderful gentlemen that I/we WILL MISS OUT on seeing because we can't be as sure as we need to be.
Sometimes you can be pretty sure, and follow through in going to meet your date, and one thing can 'spook' you, and you HAVE to make a decision to protect yourself, and leave, standing up your client, and take a risk as being a no-show Provider or a 'flake'. Fortunately, I haven't had to do that, but it happens all the time.

Abby is right about the references part. Depending on the area, and the circumstances, references could be all that's necessary, but here in SD, we now regard references as just 'additional' info and we tend not to place the credibility on references that we used to in the past, due to some things I can't post here. It's a bygone luxury..So, they are regarded as 'last'.
Wish I could say more..

Thanks, Abby.

I will have to give the Date-Check some reconsideration, as I haven't really taken the time to look into it. I know that a group of us locally here discussed it, and I don't remember why, but we discounted it altogether..

Thanks for bringing that back to light for review..

Yes, the networking can work very well. If inclined, do a message search dating back a long ways and see a post titled "What's your motive?" (from me).
I always mention to my clients that I'm delighted to be a reference, and I'm more than happy to make recommendations of other ladies they may be interested in seeing.
The beauty of the Hobby...

xo,
Sedona

Had a thought today(a rare day indeed!).Their are some well revued providers down in TJ.Perhaps one of them would see me without a reference,as they don't seem to have as many LE problems.Then i could use her as a reference for this side of the border.Believe me ladies!, i'm sypathetic to your LE/security concerns.If i were in your shoes(i would look silly!)i would leave as little as possible to chance.Looking foward to meeting as many of you as my disposible income allows.