Re:A Letter to my Sweet ATF

space ghost this is even making my sponge bob panties sad... can I lick you and make it all better ? (its a beautiful letter)

kitten

Just when I am thinking about moving over to the dark side, you write this wonderful letter.

What a beautiful reply to Mara's post although you did not mean it to be. I admire your courage.  

I had also thought to start the process of disengaging from my ATF because my depth of feeling right now far exceeds her.  I also have a family to consider.  However I called my ATF who is 5-6 states away from me on a business matter.  She was so up and I was so down so I called her back and she cheered me up, we booked some time together.

I know at some point I will need to gather the will to do as you have done since she has made it clear and I believe her we have no long term future.  She is trying to start a legitimate business and change her life.  If I am included in her life whenever that starts , it will be as a friend and not a lover or S/O.  I will enjoy the time I have left with her and not worry about the future.

I hope everyone who thinks they are romantically involved with their ATF whether one sided or not will get a chance to read your letter.

I wish you the courage to carry through with your convictions and thank you again for your wonderful letter.

Wow, what can i say. Your letter touched off alot of bittersweet memeries in my mind.

While i've never been in your situation with a provider i was in a similiar one like it once with a lifelong friend of mine. In the end i not only lost a lover, but a friend of over 25 years. We just weren't able to readjust to a lesser relationship once we passed that invisible line in the sand.

Best wishes that everything works out the best way for you and she.

Give me a break!!  This is ridiculous.

Seems like you owe some $$$$$ (EOM).

beautiful letter. It makes me sad.

I'm sure she'll miss you and your money.  This is pathetic.

I once felt the way you do.  My ATF is now married with a 8 month old baby.  But you know what?  She is still my best friend.  The physical part of our relationship is in the past, but we see each other when we can and talk often.  We share a deep bond.  My point - relationships of all kinds need to grow and mature.  Just because one or both of you may have to move on in the future doesn't mean the relationship has to end. You have made a life long friend.

So many replies come to mind ....

Our turn-ons are nearly the same?  You like having sex with men for money, too??

Our Dreams are the same?  You dream of hooking up with a decent looking rich guy with shit-for-brains, too??

You love her?   Well gee, that changes everything.  Tell her that you want to see her as a girlfriend, not as a provider and see how much access you get.   Then just for fun, driver her to a couple of outcall appointments and wait while she models her outfits for another dude and then bones him for 2 hours straight.  On the ride home, sit quietly while she talks about him, how he does it, what he likes to do ... his turn-offs and turn-ons (one of which is bbjtc - ask her how he tasted).  Think you can handle it?  

Better yet.  Tell you love her and want to marry the old, wise soul in the young body.    Betcha her legs start moving in rotation in the air for 3 seconds before she gets enough traction ... just like a cartoon character.  Bet she leaves skid marks.   Speaking of which, how does the old, wise soul in the young body feel about being at home, laundering your skid marks?

Yes ... There are so many ways to respond......


O H   P U K E !   comes right to mind.

good luck.

For twenty years an old woman fed a monk while he meditated in a little hut she had built for him.

One day she wondered if he had made any progress, so she employed a pleasure girl to visit the monk.

Following the old woman's orders, the girl caressed the monk and seductively demanded, "Now what?" The monk answered, "Nothing is warm. Just an old tree growing from cold rocks in the winter."

When the old woman heard this she exclamed angrily, "I have fed that fraud for twenty years, and he shows no loving kindness! He needn't have been passionate, just a little compassion would have done."

The old woman never fed the monk again.

I'm spending the weekend at a management retreat at a gorgeous resort hotel on the Sonoma Coast. The topic of the retreat is "difficult conversations" and one of our speakers yesterday began with the premise "the most difficult thing about being in a relationship is realizing that the other person isn't you."

Spaceghost, I read the first half of your post and stopped, thinking, "Oh Oh, another poor guy who's fallen for a provider." One of your respondents made the same inference, offering very sober blunt images of your potential future as you sink into despair driving her to her hot dates-for-cash, etc. (wouldn't THAT be a trip!)

Then I read further and realized that YOU'RE talking about breaking it off. In the end, I have no idea whether you're struggling to escape before you ruin your "real life" relationships, or whether you're lying to her PRETENDING to her - or yourself - that you care as deeply as you say because you can't - or never had any intention of - lettting the "real thing" go. Those are pretty polar opposites.

I'm not trying to be inflammatory. What I'm learning - way too late in life - is how little we ALL understand ourselves, let alone each other. The incredible power of sexuality certainly compounds that confusion, because unless it's just you and your video it's TWO (or more-grin) people with powerful urges, emotions, and motivations coming together from different, and in some way very private, perspectives.

Many - but not all - of the guys here seem to cluster into two groups - those who get clobbered by cupid while emptying their bank accounts, and those who are tallying their sexual travels (while emptying their banks accounts). Some of the latter group seem pretty well adjusted to their own lives; i.e., "it's cheaper than a divorce" is likely 1000% accurate.

Bottom line is, I can't tell from your post just WHO is over-the-top infatuated with WHOM here. It does sound as though one or the other of you is going to need some pretty strong support in the weeks ahead.

Good luck!

1. Pathetic.
2. Learn how to spell. "truely" and "truley?" Come on now. This leads me to believe that there's no way in hell you were discussing physics.

"It feels so much like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, I also forget the donation part."

I'm sure she didn't forget about the donation part.  LOL!!  Is this a joke?  Because it's hilarious.

Spaceghost,
Having been in your same position recently, all I can offer you is the the following: you were quite fortunate to be able to meet and spend some time, somewhat limited perhaps, with someone who was able to touch you and although for all too brief while, it has changed your life for the better. For this, we should be grateful. If she is not coming back (and I doubt mine will ever return), then be thankful for those memories of the time shared. Those memories will always be there even if she is not.