Long story short. I have been seeing a provider for a few years and know each other well. She tells me she is thinking about going exclusive and find out she getting in a relationship with a client. No problem, good for her I hope she is happy.

her problem, not yours.  Don't make it yours unless you enjoy ALOT of drama.

Maybe do it discretely? Print out his record and mail it to her from an unmarked address. I know your just looking out for her but she may get upset that you looked him  up behind her back.  She will think what else are you doing behind her back and looking into?
The fact that she told you she's going exclusive and the guys name means she trusts you in some way. But that doesn't guarantee she won't get upset that you went behind he back to do this.  
Tough situation.
Best of luck however it plays out.
Xoxo

Just what the fuck is the matter with you checking him out without his/her knowledge or permission in the first place?

If you aren't careful, the next charge this guy will be facing is discharging a bullet into you. WTF is wrong with you? and how did you get his info in the first place?

My perspective as a guy is, if I ever found out you had "checked me out" her being angry at you would be the least of your worries.

It is very likely that she will be upset with you for snooping into her private life and if you tell her it is very possible she may not want to have any contact with you again

She ends up beaten or shot to death, and you have to live with the thought that you might have prevented it. Can you live with that? I would tell her, but I have a bit of an overprotective to damn near suicidal levels of chivalry in me.

The guys info too .  You know reading these boards really make one wonder WTFis going on ! Ummm  "Op" you should mind your own fucking business !  

Don't get me wrong, you really messed up when you went snooping, some of the comments already up, and I'm sure most others that go up, show just how pissed off we all would feel if someone was snooping around on us, especially the lady involved

If you are single, then just tell her straight up and just deal with how she reacts.  If you have a family of your own that you are responsible for, you have to handle it differently.  Set up a private email and email her the info anonymously.  Call yourself CTU and tell her what you know.  That way you have let her know, but not put your own family at risk.  Who cares if she gets mad.  Your concern is to be smart about the nutcase jailbird boyfriend.   It's great that you want to warn her.  But if he has that much of a record...he has already shown her signs of who he is and she is just ignoring them.

If you care about her this is something you really have to do. Yes, she may get pissed off at you but that's not the point here. The point is that she is in real danger and if you do nothing you will be as responsible as he is if he hurts or worse yet kills her. There are some very bad guys in this hobby and I've heard my share of horror stories from more than a few providers. Now that's not to say that she may already know this info and for whatever reason, sad to say, she may be okay with it. Nonetheless you have an obligation to share this info with her. What she does with it after, as it pertains to him and as it pertains to you, is something out of your control. If you fear for your own safety, should he find out what you've done, there are many ways you could get this information to her anonymously. Man up and do the right thing.

It's just like when  hooker proves that she can't be trusted with a guys information, you have proven that you are not to be trusted either. I can't even begin to count the lines that you have crossed, I call bullshit on your statement that you wish her, and them well. You sound like a stalker and someone with deeper feelings that you care to admit, either that or you are simply a busy body.  The only smart thing you have done is to post under an alias so the ladies have no idea who to avoid like the fucking plague.

Just in case I was being too subtle earlier, What the fuck is wrong with you???!!!

First of all, what were you thinking, snooping around in someone's life?  It means you are waaaay to proprietary about this gal.  Problem is, now you know what you know.  So, just to be able to live with yourself, take Taylor's advice and mail the stuff anonymously.  Then don't ever do this again.  And see a shrink.

You say you've been seeing her for a few years.  In spite of the professional relationship, it sounds like you may also have become friends and you obviously care about her.   If you are confident that you are certain that you've uncovered dangerous stuff about her proposed sugar daddy and not somebody with the same name, then you need to let her know.  If she's pissed off at you about it, and she may well be, at least she's forewarned.  Just think of how she'd feel about you if she gets her ass kicked by this guy and then finds out you knew about the danger and didn't warn her?

I think its pretty fucking fabulous and shows a great level of depth and integrity  
that you looked out for her..  

Now that all the chores are done she will be going away with the Bad boy ! Yup that's usually how it works out.  

Problem is his obsession ! L8r , nick .

She was focused on what was good for the provider in question, and I think the OP  has crossed so many lines there is no coming back.

If I gave a fuck about the OP I most likely would have given him the same advice as Taylor, but the truth of the matter is, I hold the OP in such contempt that my advice to him would have been to give the new BF a loaded, untraceable gun, and then tell HIM what he had uncovered and let the chips fall where they may. rofl

"Long story short. I have been seeing a provider for a few years and know each other well. She tells me she is thinking about going exclusive and find out she getting in a relationship with a client. No problem, good for her I hope she is happy.  
   
 Here is the problem, I checked him out without her knowing..."

First of all, like many others have said, you may have gone over the line, but what is done is done.
 
Now how you handle this may just determine the kind of person you truly are and what your motives were. Not my place to figure that one out.

pick him to go exclusive with...

Can you go to a library(not in your hometown), use their computer to create a new screenname and send an email with links to the evidence you found? (Assuming you found the info. online and IF libraries permit people to create a new email addy on their computers.)  You remain anonymous(not even an IP that can be traced back to you).  

It's to keep my nose in my own business. Even though I applaud your caring enough for her toconsider giving her this information, I can only see this turning out bad for you if you share it. Let's imagine for a moment that your best intentions prevail and she sees this guy for what he apparently is, she will likely lose all the trust and confidence she had in you (perhaps rightfully so). I'm not judging you at all, it's none of my business, but perhaps it wasn't any of your business to snoop into this guys past either, even if your intention was pure. That's my opinion, I didn't charge you for it and that's what it's worth.

I think you have to tell her, but she will be annoyed that you virtually stalked the guy, never want to see you again, and probably run off with him anyway. But your conscience will be clear.  

I have a lady friend who we've been on a real name basis for quite a few years.  Yes, WE have blurred the lines.  I care for & about all my Favorite ladies & try to do right by them.

Side you were set up ! Its all LIES, DAMN LIES ! If you have a voice like James Earl Jones your golden !  

I did it myself to warn a provider friend who'd been caught up in a now infamous bust.  I didn't even have a library card.  Just walked, was given permission to use a computer, logged into Gmail and created a new account not linked to anything.
Library computers can also be mis-used.  I know of one sociopath who has been banned here but uses public library computers to create new accounts, which he then uses to try to blackmail providers into giving him free sex.

let the mutt tell her instead 'coz he's good at shaggy dog stories.  How did you find all this dirt on the guy; seems like an awful lot of protected info.

-- Modified on 10/8/2013 6:23:36 PM

I totally agree with this statement. I think she already knows most of the details about the guy.

Most of the information is available online for few bucks especially, criminal information and such.  

Don't you think she would have done this already?  

Damn right!!  If shes stupid enough to be with this guy then its her fucking problem.

close female friend is a touchy issue.  

If I were certain of the facts, I'd warn anyone in the lady's situation, not to suggest that it would necessarily do any good.

but you have to have a starting point, like a name to begin with.

This bozo is a client, she has no business giving a client her boyfriends real name, and he has even less business doing anything like this with info given to him in confidence. Everyone in this story needs a lesson in keeping their mouth shut and respecting privacy.

Here is how the conversation should have gone,

Her, I am thinking of leaving the business to be with my boyfriend

Him, Oh, what's his name?

Her, None of your God Damn business.

See how easy that is?

Honestly, I actually do think it's a good idea for you to let her know. If she takes it the wrong way, oh well, you were just trying to show that you care about her safety as a friend.

If she's been in the game for years as you pointed out, my supposition would be that she already knows what you do, and is going into her relationship with eyes wide open.  If she screens her clients properly, it is implausible that she wouldn't have found what you did long ago.  Your statement that you are sure she doesn't know seems rather naive, and suggests that she is clueless in handling her affairs.   I would never think that with most of the providers I've known over the years...they're smarter and more cautious than you think.          

I appreciated the ladies points of view. I know it will probably kill a friendship. Yes, I expected some of the nasty comments.

Did you have any reason besides, a) jealousy or b) pervy curiousity for checking him out for 20 minutes?  I know, you just had her best interests at heart.  Why couldn't you just say, "better screen him the way you'd screen a client.  Who knows what skeletons are in his closet."  If you really had her best interests at heart, that's all that was needed to be said.  Or you could have asked for her permission to check him out for her.  Not getting her permission first was where you stepped over the line.

Unless u want unnecessary drama... Keep out of her biz... Nothing like a woman in "love" ... She's not going to listen to anyone & people giving advices, she's going to think ur jealous & being petty...    

I have a few clients (like, two) I'd trust with my life. I've seen one for YEARS...both have shown themselves to be upstanding people and I'd trust them with my life.  

Please tell her. If not for her sake then the sake of her children. If I were in her situation and I didn't know I would definitely want to know.

-- Modified on 10/8/2013 8:14:27 PM

If I were said provider and decided to take off with a client and live happily ever after,  there's no way I would divulge his personal information to another client no matter how closer we were.  

Seriously, your playing the worried for the "kids" plural ? So why didn't you send MOM to school instead of having her SUCK your DICK ?  

Wants to see if his "knight costume" fits !  

No offense, but why would YOU (a client) check this guy out? What business is it of yours what she does and why the hell would she tell you this guy's real name? Both of you need to run! She did not ask you to check him out because you just admitted "she does not know about the charges." What a psycho!

Suspects out of all the girls he reviewed ? And guys are know wondering if and how their info is secure ? This putz is a winner !!!!!  

You are clearly obsessed with the woman in question here. Tell her or don't tell her but I think you need to either get things in perspective with her or stop seeing her.

A girl. Another "misses" so and so ! Yet another talks of his "sunshine" these guys are GONE ! Its  absurd . I mean a serious thread on a "Reality Check" is needed for many here in p4p land !  

Conversation shouldn't even have gotten that far to the "None of your damn business" point.
More appropriate would have been:

I would put more trust in someone  fresh out of prison than a nosy friend investigating my private affairs .  
   

Touche!

Somebody needs to write a book called, "Five Subtle Ways to Save a Dumbass from Him/Herself".  Oh.....wait. In my fantasy world, I'm a writer.  
I'll take on the challenge. The following will be the titles of each informative chapter. BTW, the titles are so brilliant, they ARE the entire chapter.
1. STFU.
2. STFU.
3. STFU.
4. STFU.
5. STFU.

"Anal" ! The "pool boy" spits it out ! Rotfflmao .

I tried to exit this thread gracefully, but the smarty-pants off-spring, decided to play some dopey pop/garbage, so here I am again. Should have stayed away.  Disturbing thread, would be an understatement.  

I would eventually be thankful you told me however... I would be pissed that you were seeking this info out and it would make me wonder why you felt the need to. Being who I am, if you were the one to tell me, I would not speak to you again. I would wonder what else you dig up about me. Also, how do you even know this guy's name? I can not believe that she would tell you his full name etc. I would wonder if you had motives for breaking us up to keep me around. If she is so smart, she would have looked him up on her own and if she does know already, she chose to continue with him (whether right choice or not).

"(eoGOOFYm)"
HEY!!! I am the self-proclaimed "Empress of Goof-dom". Are you hatin' on the Queen, Nick-A-Dorable?

Hmm...
I take back every single thing I posted on this thread. Absolutely, give her the puppy!  
I'm ashamed I didn't think of this myself.  Must've been too much celebrating and definitely too much ROCK BAND!
Sleepy time now. My goodness! I can't wait to rise and shine in time for class tomorrow

No, let my VIP membership expire long ago....have not had much need of it since I have a few regulars I use.

Let us know what happens no matter what you decide to do. The suspense...

The guy has a record so what ! The little cabanabitch should get a life ! Instead of playing house with a provider and her kids ! I And whoever she is , with children should focus on getting her life n order and NOT looking to score relationships with customers ! The 3 of these fools deserve each other and her kids are victims ! So fuck him , her , and the bad boy !  

She shouldn't have told you his name, you shouldn't have looked up his info. But she did and you did. Now that you know about him what should you do and what about him does she already know. She probably knows about the coke and the jail time. What she probably doesn't know about is the domestic violence and the multiple names and social security numbers. If she's going exclusive with him you aren't going to see her anymore anyway. If she doesn't believe you or already knows about him at least you've got a clean conscience. Make the decision you can live with.

Just to let you know what some of the ladies expressed concern and made me realize I could not live myself without letting her know. I will email it from an anonymous email account to her personal email account (yes she gave me that info-lol).

write to me at [email protected]

First off what you did was an invasion of privacy and a little bit stalkerish....Now that being said You did state that you have spent hours with this girl OTC and it seems that you have a closer relationship that the normal provider/client. I would step on the lines of calling you guys "friends". It is obvious that you care about this girl maybe more than you are willing to admit to yourself. You need to approach this situation very lightly because you could end up losing a friend , but that being said ... Are you sure that she doesnt know....You know we dont reveal our entire lives and there are some things that we dont tell clients or friends. maybe she is embarrassed but if she has been with this guy long enough to want to leave the biz for him, I'm pretty sure she might already know...I mean have you straight up asked her....Has he been to jail?? Have you Googled him? looked into his past?? or anything such as the like? If not then next time you see her, You could strike up a conversation..You know asking...How well do you know this guy? And maybe she might reveal to you his past....Now if she doesnt..Then this would be the perfect time to tell her/show her (assuming you print out info or have a computer around). Now being a woman myself i might be a little upset/creeped out that u did this...Hell some might be flattered (not me) but to each their own..anyways...Here is your oppurtunity to explain you were worried about the kids and her and just Googled him...I'm sure if she is anykind of a decent Human Being will be thankfull...Good Luck and let us know how it goes

I did notice from your reviews that you tend to see the BP type ladies who aren't known for screening. Not a slam, just an observation. My slams are still reserved for you for violating her trust, if she gave you his name, or even worse if you acquired his name through other methods.

As for this being a one time deal, I seriously have my doubts. Once a stalker, always a stalker. and your post reeks of you having stalker tendencies.

Nothing new about any of what's posted here.  I read reviews for information and the message boards for entertainment.  The GDB in particular is very hard to take seriously...

Oh babe come on you have obsessive written all over you who goes checking stuff like that out. She wont listen to you anyhow and she will resent you for doing that. Girls just have to learn from their own experiences, he sounds lovely (not) but you think a guy like that comes across to her as the King of England.....that is why she likes him. Some chic's will never learn to stay away from guys lie that, it's their self esteem or lack of it.