Providers, how common a problem are ex-clients who become fixated on you?  The lady that I see regularly sees very few guys, all regulars, about 5 or six of us.  She's obviously part time in the hobby.
I've known for quite a while that she had a problem with one guy who she booted out of her circle being a real pest with calling, texting and sending things to her at work.  (I should mention that she hasn't been much for security in terms of keeping her real name a secret to her regulars and most of us know where she lives and works.  Not much she can do about that now and she is moving in a couple weeks, partly because of this problem.)
Today, while I was with her, one of her other ex-clients that she booted months ago, left some of her favorite chocolates on her doorknob.  Freaked her out when I found them.  Both these guys got too possessive and wanted her to go exclusive, she said no, they got pissed, she threw them out.

At any rate, how much of a problem are clients that become fixated/obsessed/stalkers?

this was actually someone who she booted out of a date for being rough.   She had to threaten to call the police and that initially was enough to scare him off but then I guess he started thinking about it and decided to make her life miserable....

She did not have family here and he did not know enough to make that kind of trouble for her.   But I did take her in for a while as she changed incalls.   And  I had a serious discussion with the "gentleman" at one point as well which seemed to put an end to it....  but the lady was really spooked and decided to move on to a different location....

there are all kinds of ways that stalking happens - involving providers specifically or women in general -   but the root of it is obsession.  

If any woman starts to see obsessive behavior -   contact that exceeds her boundaries,  following her,  etc.   she needs to take it very seriously because sometimes these things escalate....

There was a woman new to my area who I called up one afternoon and booked an appointment for two hours later. That was easy, I thought, no real screening, just quote and invite.

I'd call her a solid 8 looks wise, and reckon she'd get about that on performance reviews. Charming, smart woman, but not all that personality wise. She rented a nearby bungalow and the convince won her a couple, three more visits over time. She'd allow a little SOTC, sitting on the back patio drinking beer and such, and we would talk. I didn't really think of her as a regular, though.

One evening over beer she told me of a caller whose language was way too rude and explicit for her to agree to see. It gave her the willies.

I used her as a reference one day, and she got back to me that she was out of town "earning some money" and planned to be back in a month or so. She mentioned in the email some guy who had been parking outside her bungalow at night.

Eventually this guy she (from what she told me) never allowed to visit, was calling everyday from different numbers, trying to alter his voice, and walking up and down her street while she was in session. That's why she'd left town for awhile to work cities back east.

She had to leave her bungalow, set up an incall in a different part of town, change her name, phone, etc., and drop her ads for awhile.

Maybe this guy HAD seen her and she was lying to me, maybe he'd seen her and she didn't know it was him. But as far as I ever knew, he was just a prospect.

How did he know what street to stalk her on?

Surely she wasn't so indiscrete as to post her address online, did she?

Other than that rather weak possibility,  I think she might be leaving out some rather pertinent facts

I don't know. A couple of scenarios pop up.

She HAD seen him, but she didn't know it was him when he called back.

She was lying to me about not having seen him (why I don't know).

He had set up a date, got past the 2nd call, but decided not to show.

Had talked to a friend who had seen her, and the whole thing was about wanting to fuck the woman (in one way or another) who his friend had fucked. This could have been bi-sexual jealousy, or just male prowler competition.

I don't know, and I got relatively involved with her plight. Maybe he was an ex-lover and it was all a plot to involve me. But aside from a couple spaghetti dinners and a late-night drive to Savo-On, she didn't get much, especially if you account for all the beers we drank.

BSC Taylor thinks I "pick on her" but the truth is, I give a lot more shit to other guys for their BSC behavior than I do the women. and if we include the Turdmeister on the male side of the ledger, (a reach I know) that would mean that I 'pick on" other men by a margin of at least five to one.

Stalkers are one of the biggest "occupational hazards" I can think of for the women in this business, and I hate to make light of it by picking apart her story, but as I said BSC runs of both sides here.

That'd be one of those "how do you know" questions that seems "obvious" on one level, but a good mystery writer could shoot logic holes all through it.

The timing of when the calls started.

The "I know where you live" implication (or statement, I don't remember that exactly) of the caller.

She worked and "lived" in the same bungalow. Which is dangerous because SOMEBODY knows too much.

But can I prove it! Now, no. At the time I probably could have, if I'd wanted to invest the time and money, but I didn't. At first I didn't think it was such a big thing. A red flag, yes. Something to be cautious about, definitely. But until it got to the point that he was calling every night, getting reports from a screener on a second number she used, and then the car parked outside and the creep walking around watching her place... It gradually got worse.

And I wasn't giving this full-time attention. So figure I saw her maybe once every 10 days, that's how often I got an update.

Towards the thick part I spent more time with her, but I had a life to juggle.

It was something that challenged my skepticism.

To this day I don't see why she would have fabricated all that. She lost business changing plants, although she got an apartment to live in (again, she said. I never saw it). I could tell she wasn't living in her incall, even though she did have beer in the fridge.

Maybe she was a real nut job having delusional paranoia, and you know me, that was the first thing I considered. But I don't think so.

She was too casual in how she did things, obviously to a fault considering the screening I got, and sort of both trusting and clever. She could have been valuable to me in some aspirations, but neither of us ever went there.

There have been some recent stories about possessive ex-BFs who obviously know real names and addresses.  She might have left out the "ex-BF" that she doesn't want to see anymore part of the story

I know that she was pretty aware that I didn't want to court her, i.e. make her my wife or SO, but she might have refrained because we had become friendly and she wanted some help in dealing with this matter. And I had seen her a few times and was a good client. If it was her ex-BF, I might not wanted to get anywhere near the situation. He could be tweaking or just goose-crazy jealous. Even driving her to a drug store could have ended badly for me.

But I don't think that was it. The two times that I saw the man out front, he quickly headed back to his car and drove off. Once I tried to dig my iPod out of my work bag, but by the time I got past start-up and hit the camera icon the car was gone. I would think an ex would have been somewhat more confrontational.

I wish this little mystery had somehow been solved, that all the answers about what was going on both in the guy's head and in his actions were answered, but eventually she either eluded him or he gave up and decided to pester someone else.

So, yeah, there's all kinds of questions I can only speculate about, and by now I've certainly stopped doing that with any regularity.

Most of us just don't talk about it here. Some are bad, others are merely annoying as fuck. Some think that they are in a real relationship with you.

My case, I had two that I had to deal with, as in tell them the very blunt truth (tried the soft approach, didn't work) about the "relationship" they thought they had.  

Thankfully I have not had to deal with a real nutbag.

... even within discussion forums such as this one.  

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The thing of someone who's erroneously convinced that they have a relationship with you can be really dangerous.

What makes it so scary is that you can't really know what's going on in their minds. Men are stalked sometimes, too, and it can get just as bad. Especially if he decides to deal with it by long-distance playing along or confrontation.

 -- Modified on 7/30/2014 9:20:45 AM

My wife works at a legal brothel. Two of her clients that I know of became problems. One committed sexual battery when he seen her in a hospital cafeteria and things didn't end well for him. But given my first instinct was to break every bone in his body, he got off lucky. Loser mistaken paid sex for a real relationship and I honestly think he thought my wife wanted him.

The second found out her real phone and email some how and kept harassing my wife. It ended when I explained how if he didn't leave my wife alone I would consider him a threat to her and how I wouldn't have a problem permanently ending a threat to my family. Then talking about a few guns and the damage they do. He never called again.  

Stalkers are a real concern.

Great movie:

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A member who will never book with you but seems to know your entire life from other members? Phuckin annoying and people need to get a life

Jessica Walter plays the obsessive nutjob who stalks Clint Eastwood, the radio DJ.  

"The film paved the way for many later stalker films (such as Fatal Attraction), particularly those with a psychotic female antagonist, and also those where the villain made an unexpected return."