I mean it.  Why do they waste their civvie time and money on these f’in loser/user boyfriends?

You really seriously think EVERY one of them is a douche bag pimp????

I asked if there are any providers who do not have douchebag pimp boyfriends/husbands.

I've never seen/heard of anything but d-bag SOs--but I'm willing (hopeful, even) to be proven wrong.

absolutes is a douchebag.  

Oh because you "helped out" and she went on vacation... Yeah that happens.

The "vacation"/tour was disclosed to me in advance--I have no problems there.

I'm not an "invested client"--whatever the hell that means...

Drama?  Yeah, she's a drama queen--and her f'd up life is as much attributable to unforced errors as it is to "shit happens"...as for $$, believe me when I say that the amounts involved are minuscule compared to how much she earns from me alone over the course of a year.  If she wanted to "sting" me, she would have done it for a lot more $$ than the amounts at issue here.  I haven't been played, she is good for it.

Who am I to judge?  I know in the politically-correct 21st century, nobody is allowed to make "judgments" about anything--especially about the personal lives of others.  Too f'in bad.  I'll call 'em as I see 'em.  I would much rather see her lose this guy and find someone with whom she is truly compatible and could enjoy life with--and who would not constantly be dragging her down.

You think that this little anecdote of mine is the only time I've seen the boyfriend act like a douchebag pimp?  Well, it's not--it's just the most recent and most obvious.  The only providers I know where the boyfriend/husband was not a douchebag pimp are the ones who don't have boyfriends, for whatever reason.

Meanwhile, my original question is unanswered:  Please tell me about a provider whose boyfriend/husband is not a user/loser/douchebag pimp....

I know a few providers whose SOs are not douchebags or pimps... one is on the board. Personally, I never got how a dude could have a wife/GF who did this for a living but just because I don't get it, does not mean it can't work for others. It would just never work for me. I can't imagine having to bang a boyfriend several times a week and then expect my vagina to be capable of taking more d(ck for money. I would most certainly slack in one of those areas, and it would likely be with the boyfriend.

...not in any strict sense of the word.  Yeah I'm crazy about her, but I know that it's ridiculous to think of having a "real relationship" with her--but I also don't think it's crazy to think that we're friends of some sort.  (I know that's not part of the London Rayne playbook, but there's more than one way to skin a cat)

OTOH, I end up seeing a small number of providers on a regular rotating basis--just the way I roll.  I always end up "knowing too much" about the personal lives of the ladies I see regularly.  The truth is that I'm a soft touch.  I'd help any of my special friends if I thought they were legitimately in need--and I wouldn't care that much if I got the money back in a timely fashion or not.

The real point here is that it's bad enough that I know that I'm indirectly supporting Skippy with every nickel I give her.  In this case, it just seemed too directly connected:  "Woe is me, I'm breaking up with Skippy, oh now I have money, everything between Skippy and me is great".

And like I said, this is FAR from the only time I've seen shit go sideways between a provider and her boyfriend.  I've seen providers treated badly by their d-bag boyfriends at least a half-dozen other times--and those times, I had no personal involvement, and no $$ were at issue.

So my rhetorical question is still the same.  Where are the providers with non d-bag pimp boyfriends?

You are not alone in "enabling" as you put it, the sometimes nefarious activities of some providers.  On over a dozen occasions I also have been suckered in, and since I could afford it and I genuinely liked the gal, I forked over cash, sometimes some very big bundles too.

Sometimes it all worked out fine.  She got through the disaster and the debt was paid off in kind, so no biggy.  Other times, not so much.  In the worse case I found out that she was hooked on crack and that's where all the money went.  Oh well, live and learn.

So make up your mind how you feel about doing this kind of thing.  If it drives you nuts as it appears to be doing, then just don't do it any more.  She'll find someone else and so will you.

I take a philosophical approach to it and don't let it get to me.

And to answer your question:  Yes, there are some providers who have SOs and are not exploited by them.  I've met a few over the years too.  You'd think it would be a very awkward situation, but it really wasn't.

... and are way to involved in this woman's life.

I've never had a boyfriend whilst doing this.... in fact, it's been a good 10 years since I have had any time of relationship that involved feelings other than deep concern and friendship. You're far too involved.. period. It's none of your business and quite frankly, she should not be bringing her personal issues into this nor should you be posting threads about her. That in and of itself, is odd and shows you might be a bit more involved than you lead on. My close personal provider friends do not have boyfriends either, because they could not do this if so. I really don't know what to tell you, other than to seek out women who are more independent. Many women can't live without a man in their lives... whatever.  

The novel you are writing struggles to insert yourself into a relationship not only with the woman but also with her SO. Earth to CC: this is P4P. When the hotel room door closes behind you and the maid in the corridor glances at you indifferently, you can cherish the memories of the mammaries. The End.

This is why you should not get into the personal life of someone who escorts for money. Its only natural that hookers attract pimps.

Been single for a few years... Not that I don't date, just not committed to that point where our finances would mingle.  

This will also work out fine--at least in the superficial sense--I know I'll be reimbursed, with the OTC time thrown in as agreed.  There's no crack habit involved or anything like that.

Not to sound like I'm pulling for a certain outcome or anything, but:  If she had borrowed the money and still managed to dump Skippy the Wonder-Schlong, I would have been totally ok (and No, not because I think I would have a shot at being the new Wonder-Schlong--it's more that I would have felt assured that "this time was different" and that she really was moving on--she's hardly the first person I've ever known to stay in a crappy relationship rather than deal with the shitstorm that bailing from a relationship entails).

If she were single and having financial trouble, none of this would be an issue.  If she was in a real-life LTR, and was having financial trouble that was not somehow related to Skippy, I'd be fine with that, too.  It's the combination of the two that pissed me off, and kept me from being "philosophical" about it.

And, ok fish, you say you've met some providers who are not exploited by their SOs, and that it wasn't awkward to meet the SO.  That's great--it's nice to hear that.  But what if you had a provider friend who WAS obviously being exploited by her SO?  Would you find that awkward?

If I wanted to, I could arrange to be in the same place as Skippy.  Some of his "professional" activities and mine intersect, so it would be trivial to be in the same place at the same time.  I'm glad it's never worked out that way though, since I'd probably punch his lights out.

Yeah, it's true--there's more than one user here.  Again though, I do have to maintain that the "vacation" was part of a whole working/touring thing, so I really am ok with that--it's just the making it easy for her to gloss over the problems (for now) with her bf that annoyed me.

I'm resolved to this much--I'm not helping her out again if her circumstances don't change.  Being a witness to this self-destructive behavior is too much for me.

Oh no, here on TER, we cater only to the "true indies", and the gents who "donate" to them.

Hookers?  Pimps?  None of that here!  Sorry, just a little sarcasm at my own expense...couldn't help it...

I'd be willing to bet you are not the only one who is helping her, both finacially and emotionally.  So, if it wasn't you doing the enabling, it would be some one else.

Really.  How would I know?  The one thing I do know is that it took a long time for her to ask for the financial help--I mean like several months, not a day or two.

Emotionally?  I know even less for sure about that.  For a long time we steered clear of talk about SOs on either side of the fence.  This only came up again when she claimed that the relationship was very likely over.

Like I said, financially, I'm done for now.  Emotionally...whatever...I'm not taking any of her probs with the bf seriously anymore.

And here I thought I was my wife's loving husband. True she makes good money but then again I make better. In fact her money is hers to spend on whatever floats her boat and I pay all the household bills. Shit that isn't very pimp-like.

that you have become to close to her, that she feels for you and she feels
like when she is fucking you or with you, she feels she is cheating on her boyfriend.  She wants you in her life but can no
longer fuck you...for she does not fuck her friends!

Her  Dad was a loser, often jobless and abusive to her Mom when she was a child.
  Her Mom was the backbone of her family.  
   
  When she became a woman subconsciously she yearned to be treated like her Mom, she searched for a jerk like her Dad.

She has other friends who are clients who are friends who are clients.

It's just sorta the way she operates. If you spend any amount of time with her, you tend to know her real name and a fair bit else about her.  I know it's not "normal" or "not the way we do things in TER-land", but it is what works for her. btw, she's barely even mentioned/reviewed here on TER, so that's why I can even talk about this at all.

And "my issue" isn't about this one scenario.  "My issue" is Where are all the non-pimp non-user boyfriends of providers?  So far, we've heard rumors that they do exist from mrfisher--but nobody else has yet offered any hardcore or first-person accounts of these mythical SOs.

The answer is quite simple, women with solid relationships don't share that fact with customers, especially nosy "do gooders" who want to insinuate themselves into every hooker's life they bang.

Look at it from the lady's POV, why in the world would she ever share the fact that she has a kind loving SO waiting for her at home? Talk about a fast way to kill the fantasy.

For the record, I have known dozens, maybe even hundreds of ladies who do this for a living who have/had perfectly decent BF's, sometimes that BF was me, and while I might be an asshole, I have never any direct benefit from the labors of any hooker GF I might have had, unless letting her buy lunch or dinner every once in a while makes me a pimp.

For the record, the reason I know so many hookers and their BF is that I have dated a few "agency girls" and even a couple of AMP girls who all had many, many friends who did the same thing for a living, so it was natural to get to know their friends, and the BF's of said friends.

A) Her for making you feel stupid?

B) Him for making you look stupid"

C) Yourself for being stupid?

D)  All of the above.


You truly are a moron, Are you planning on entering this year's SPOTY's?

when I tell you to get those prepaid sessions in before you give her any more money.  If you accumulate too many prepaid sessions, trust me, my friend, you will never see her again.  As much as you like her, she is using you.  I've been there, and it's painful, and I feel for you.  But it is in your best interests to gather the will power to move on.  As a provider friend once told me, when it comes to a choice between you and the money, they will choose the money every time.

The providers I know who have SOs think they're great guys. I've opined to these ladies that their guys must be very secure and trusting fellows, and they agreed.  

Wow, met the "partner" of a provider. I would find that very awkward

At least three of us have come forward already, Fisher, scoed and I are hardly "mythical"

Are you sure that you aren't just trying for extra SPOTY points?

Three dudes who claim that they are not douchebag pimps (although two of them certainly "sound" like douchebags from the language they use when posting--but hey, it's the internet, so I guess it's considered to be "ok" to "sound" like a douchebag--or something).

And good advice pertaining to being asked for money, not worked for.  

but fortunately, I have not had any reason to meet them, but you never know for sure in this world of ours.

If I ever live to tell the tale, you can be sure I will.

As for your desire for your gal to dump her albatross, good luck with that.  You just have to deal with the situation you have, not the one you'd like to have.

For douchebaggily coming into a thread where I was asking for feedback from the ladies, not the dudes.

Because it's honestly none of your damn business! None of anyone's business for that matter, and your very personal account attests to this! Take your money out of the equation and see how nice she is. You are what we fear, what we dread when seeing clients that can't distinguish fantasy from reality, and when to get that you aren't going to be the one to ride her off into the sunset on your white horse.  

Overall a great cautionary tale if read properly.

And all from just a couple of posts.  Not only are you capable of diagnosing me, you're also capable of diagnosing providers whom you've never even met or had any interactions at all with.

-- Modified on 5/22/2015 12:34:33 PM

A lot of people date a lot of different douchebags. I don't think it's a requirement for dating a professional companion though.

When you post a novella on the GD board spewing this kind of nonsense, expect some feedback. GaG can be harsh, but more often than not his message is directly on point and makes complete sense.

Does taking care of an ATF (who became my SO) and supporting her through grad school disqualify me from being a douchebag?  

Money, the tool for trade but not the only one. You put entirely too much stock in something that is pretty worthless. I'm not money motivated, never have been. What's your money bought you?! Looks like a bunch of heartache, good luck with that.

Dude,

I bet that lovely mouth of yours would put in some overtime though.

And then where would we be?   xoxo

I'd own up to it, because I'm not concerned about the opinion's of other people.

Douche Bag ! ! !

And to be fair you called yourself a "moron", I was just agreeing with you. There really is no doubt you are right. I also fully admit I can be a huge douchebag. I just rarely am to my wife. But to a self admitted "moron" who got himself manipulated into a loan based on the fact she supposedly has a "douchebag pimp" for a SO I am in every way a "douchebag".  

I do not know a single provider who has the Jerry Springer lifestyle you describe. I say to you lovingly and from experience that you walked through a field of red warning flags and just kept going. I learned this lesson the hard way. It appears you got hooked on the drama of her life just as she got hooked on the drama of her knucklehead boyfriend's life. I have never "borrowed" money from a client. That doesn't even make sense. She hustled you.  

Apparently the GD board is the wrong place to "post a novella"?  Where would the "right place" be?  And please, no name-calling.  This is (in theory) a place where providers and hobbyists can post about the good times and the bad times, ask for and offer advice, etc.  If GD (or perhaps all of TER) is not the right place to have discussions like this, maybe it's time for a whole new website.

Have you tried douching with a fried potater?

Now she's in a better place and seeing you to pay back the money she owes you is not the priority that she probably thought it would be when she originally made the deal.

You got sucked up in the drama.  Simply put, you can't fix stupid. When she is fed up and ready to leave that idiot she will, or she won't.  You have no control.  Disengage from this trainwreck and move on.  Life is too short, be happy!

And fwiw, the loan wasn't based on anybody being a d-bag pimp.  It was based on me helping out a friend in a jam. I'd help out any friend in a jam

You do realize you sound like a DB ehen you brag about doing nice things for people.

OP religiously thinks all guys dating providers are douchebags

The only SO I ever met was a good guy.  I'm sure some are good guys and some are everything you say they are.  But we know very few relationships last forever or even until the next season of the Voice.  In the OPs case her current SO will be gone one day, that i'm sure of.  Is it worth waiting around?  Hard to say.   But I tell you what - the leopard doesn't change it's spots and I'll bet you a thousand roses  that next guy won't be too different from current guy.    

prove it

You do.

Yak yak yak.

I found that the best thing ever to be  
 

100 percent A Hole. He treats her like crap. Suddenly the only time he shows a hint of humanity is because I'm seeing her. She's a sweetheart. She's even gotten beat up by him because she's seeing me. How do I know? She showed me her bruises the next day. I'd love to take a baseball bat to his head. I hate guys that beat up on women. Total fucking morons!

He is not the only dude to reply to your ladies only post.
In fact dude (I do not have the time to take a count but) it sure appears more dudes replied than ladies.

You wasn't exactly complimentary in nature. It was in fact quite hostile in nature. Just saying.

I buy milk and diapers for my atf realdoll.

You want advice. Stop playing the sycophant (your word, not mine) and grow up. You're obviously smitten with a hooker and jealous of the fact she'd rather be with a douche bag (once again, your words not mine) BF than you. You think you have this serious friendship with this woman, but according to your story, it is predicated solely on financial renumeration. Not the typical way a friendship is sustained, but hey, maybe you have some other endearing qualities you have yet to reveal that would make her value your company as much as you seem to value hers. You sound like a typical WK who confuses P4P with true love, feelings, emotions, etc. You think a hooker's performance while on the clock, and her willingness to engage you when seeking a bail out denotes far more than what it truly is. You are nothing but a tool to this woman, and she has no more feeling for you than she does for any other John she entertains. You said it yourself, if you called her out on this she would drop you in a second. Long story short, either put this in perspective and enjoy your P4P sexual encounters for what they really are, uncommitted carnal adventures, or wallow in misery and confusion, waiting for the next  hooker to break your heart.

This woman can have whatever man she wants.  

something tells me that you aren't looking for the simple answer.

don't you think he might give her nice cream pie before her session with you begins so  
you might get a taste when you daty her?  Or maybe give her a mouthful so you can ipso facto
blow him by default.

Very very few people could pull it off.

Correct me if I'm wrong, won't be the first time, but I'm correct a lot more than the douche bag  quack courageous cat idolizes, Dr. Phil.
   
  You couldn't care less what anonymous guys and gals on a Hooker review board think about you...........but I bet there's been a Gal or two you've been concerned about.  

Yeah, trying to back out of the personal life when I'm already in is tough, but the experience is worth it if I can pull it off, I think...

-- Modified on 5/22/2015 6:20:57 PM

Talking about BF/SO to client is not a good thing. I won't. Now if he wants to talk about his SO, then that is fine. Much like I am not going to sit there and talk about my clients to other clients. Our time is meant to enjoy and converse. However talking about SOs takes away from our special time. When I do have a SO, if I go tell the guy I have one, next thing you know he will be asking all sorts of questions. We need to enjoy our time together not playing 20 questions.  

but that's because I want to have sex with them.

OK. Not every provider is in a relationship which is not (in one way or another) abusive and or “pimp”-ish.  

Another hapless white knight upset about his unrequited love for a hooker.  

He has to chime in and post on every thread so he can keep his Top Poster ranking.  

Eat 2 fried potatos and call us in the morning

He is busy romping around on the beach and getting laid. He even made me wait for responses to my emails. PFFFFF. He has been earning thousands of spankings til I meet him. Been keeping tabs in a huge ass notebook. LOL.

I don't know if this is a record - but definitely a reason for TER to restrict posting length....  

... a drunk.  

They think to themselves that money is everything, and it bugs the fuck out of them that a woman they have to pay for sex not only fucks some other "lesser guy" for free, but will even share her hard earned money with some "loser"

How many movies have we seen where the hero is the dashing, but poor "bad boy" and the villain is the spoiled rich kid who tries to buy the love of the heroine? This is just more of the same.

Dude, seriously WTF.  

There could be a wife or a girlfriend for some. Broaden the scope skippy.