Have a change of clothes in your gym bag, and change into them after the session.

It's a lot more believable than the poured cranberry juice all over yourself, and besides, you don't end up wrecking a shirt.

Also, how many times could you get away with that line before the SO gets suspicious?

Hey y'all.  Been awhile since I posted but just wanted to share this tidbit with you.  Make a note of it if you are married and have to go home to your wife later.  And she has a functioning nose.

So I hit it with a lovely provider a few weeks ago.  After showering and dressing, I gave her a goodbye hug and a kiss and went back to work.  Later while sitting at work I thought I could still smell her perfume.  Then I sniffed both arm sleeves and sure enough - the damn hug.  DAMN!

I had to think of something quick.  Stop at a store and get some more cologne that I where and come home with a strong stench of that on my shirt?  What's the excuse for that?  And what if that doesn't cover it?  Go buy a new dress shirt to match the slacks and throw the old one out?  Possible.  Until she says I thought you were wearing something different when you left this morning.

Then it hit me.  Do buy a new shirt but also buy some cranberry juice (or pick your favorite beverage).  Go to restroom private stall, take off smelly shirt and put on new one.  Then hold said olfactory stimulating shirt over the toilet and pour cranberry juice all over it.  Get a few drops on the pants for vividness of ruse.

Then go drench this shirt in the sink and wring it out and put it in a plastic bag.  Go home and tell wife how you had a major drink spill episode and had to buy another one.  Then go wash the shirt.  Voila - good as new.

Share any keen insights you may have.

Tell the S.O.  it's "beef gravy"

This actually is something that was discussed in the first episode of that Showtime show, "Secret Diary of a Call Girl," but it makes sense.

Providers who are smart and keep grooming products for men in their hotel rooms or incall locations keep men's products around.

The last thing you want to do is go back to your SO or office smelling like Bond Number 9.

The other thing to keep in mind is that the scent of pussy is a strong one that lasts.  If a woman has a strong odor down there, that's a scent that could also get you in trouble.

make sure you don't spill coffee or hot beverage. Otherwise, you open yourself for more questioning, like "was the coffee hot?" and "how come you don't have any burns on your tummy?"

Best to use juice or soda - provided you drink soda or juice...Otherwise more questions.. "When did you start drinking soda or cranberry juice?

on maybe make it a signature attached to the hobby email.
please note i am in relationship, easy on the perfume!!!!!!!!!!!
if you just use the pocket book sized rollers of your fav perfume for the appts its alot easier to control only getting it on pulse points which then wont rub off on the guy, like tiny roll behind each ear .
or you coulda put pacthouli oil on that covers everything, but I am sure you dont have that hanging around in an office, you should though, everyone should have a bottle . it should be a law.............................

And it wouldn't do us any harm to hit the weights now and then either.

I try to arrange my local visits in the mid afternoon, take the PM off from work, and then stop at the gym on the way home.  I work up a good sweat and then sit in the sauna for a while.  My gym is just around the corner from home so I shower at home and the clothes are on hangers when I arrive, no worries.

No more hugs at the end, much as I love them.

And its not even New Year yet...

Bad news is that it made think of my grandma.
Good news is that it didn't seem to be a deterrent. Or maybe that's bad. I'll ask my therapist.

-- Modified on 11/29/2012 1:56:58 AM

Tell the Wife you are going to do what ever you damn well please. Tell your wife it is none of her business why you smell like perfume.

sure it's ok. The very first thing I do when a gent arrives is ask for his jacket to hang it in the closet, then put the rest of his clothes in there when they come off. I burn scented candles so even that can cause your clothes to pick up the smell. I wear perfume unless asked specifically not to do so, and I have never had an issue. The only time might have been when I used to tour, but I always ask if a guy is going back to work or home so I know what to prepare for. Most of the guys I see, are not going straight home after. They plan an entire day around our meeting and golf is usually the excuse. My advice is bring an extra set of gym or golf attire with you to the meeting, and change into that after. Make sure to get your last hugs in BEFORE you change, and let her know why. I usually do the lean in, ass out kiss when they leave because of makeup as well. I am not going to stop wearing makeup for pete's sake, so I am careful not to rub my face against the jacket when we hug.

Women like to smell nice, so rather than expecting her not to wear perfume when that is always what she has done, make sure you flat out say, "Please, no perfume because I am going home after."



-- Modified on 11/29/2012 10:44:47 AM

There are so many ways to pick up scents these days, so I doubt a wife is going to automatically think, "Damn, that bastard was seeing a hooker today."

Why get married...Why don't you smack those horny bastards upside their head and ask them what was the need to get married in the first place

One more thing to worry about. LOL

How about if someone were to manufacture a line of perfumes, soaps, shampoos, etc. with manly scents like beef jerky, beer and pretzels, and smoke filled card room?

Then the guys would have no problems at all with their wives picking up these scents, and maybe it would gag the provider for a while, but your dog will love it at least.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure I'd like my providers to smell like my drinking buddies anyways.

Stick to the gym idea.

I will most likely have a couple of drinks at the call so I just say I stopped at the bar and while there saw nurse X.
Everything is built into the bar excuse, smoke smell, alcohol, perfume, any makeup that might be on your shirt.
I don't really have to worry about that much anymore anyway, lol

I always have unscented soap, because the one I use is Apple scented and I generally try to have some men's cologne, but again it never seems to get used.

Big-name perfumes are carefully designed to migrate and cling. Fragrance is surprisingly telltale on a guy's clothing, even days later in a laundry basket. A SO with a keen sniffer can get suspicious.

Read up on chemical sensitivity and note that fragrance products are highly toxic concoctions. Nearly 10% of the population has unhealthful reactions to other people's perfumes and colognes.

Ladies - please skip the fragrances.  And the scented candles, too.

-CG

You're going to remember do that with everybody every time.  No last hugs when they leave with their clothes on and you have perfume on.  No matter what you say, how good the reason, no tight close warm hug, they're leaving without that lovin' feeling.

-- Modified on 11/29/2012 10:27:44 AM

No, they're going think too much of a smell to not have been close to a women.  Has he been cheating on me? Then there are the ones that just go hormonal and break out screaming at a slight scent.  There are douches that have flavors and smells that won't set off the women's crazy suspicions. Real crazy right!

A change of clothes is a great idea.

Isn't there something that's made to get rid of animal odors on peoples clothes?

I knew a guy that would fill up his tank and spill a few drops of gasoline on his hands after hanging out at the strip club.  The gas over powered any scents the strippers wore.

not to wear perfume, but don't just expect it. I am not going to stop wearing the stuff because 80 percent of the guys I see, love it. Candles...will always use them. I am just glad I don't have such guys I have to deal with lol. I would just go out and buy an air mattress and see him in a plastic room.

-- Modified on 11/29/2012 1:09:57 PM

to think you are not going to pick up scents regardless of WHERE you go. Coffee shops, malls, at the office, etc. How many people rub up against each other on the subway, train, or a busy damn street? I mean seriously, just make the request but what is next...hookers can't use Summer's Eve anymore because OMG there is a scent? Whatever.

.. buy a bottle of scent... hunters use it to cover human scent... wolf urine is particularly potent..

or like LR said, just walk through Macy's or ULTA... I personally can't even walk in the door of those places without getting nauseous... you'll smell like a french whore for weeks and you can always tell the SO you were buying her christmas/birthday/aniversary/easter/valentine's present...

Well you hug not so close so the contact is as minimal as possible and don't have the body contact, but be close enough so they  don't feel rejected and tell them the reason.  Then single guys like me who care to can move in slightly for a real hug, send our clothes to the cleaners, new suit and back to work  Or don't shower, play golf and let everyone guess and be jealous.  

As an old strip club veteran, I have used both the few drops of gasoline excuse as well as the walk thou Macy's excuse.

-- Modified on 11/29/2012 1:56:10 PM

That may work for you, but most people are stealing time to see the provider.

If your going to "walk through Macy's", better come home with a gift or she will "smell" BS LOL

-- Modified on 11/29/2012 11:10:59 AM

I do think a light men's cologne would be a good idea.

You just can't get the most out of sex unless you're  in shape.  JOIN A GYM AND USE IT.   Start with a personal trainer.  Start slow, but START.

I thought in LA it was expected everybody was seeing a hooker.  Too much TV, huh

London,

The men wouldn't tell you if your perfume caused a problem at home.  A run in with the civie gf or SO is something we want to forget as son as possible.

Oh,  beef jerky, beer and pretzels, and smoke filled card room would go over almost or as bad with many wives.  They love it when you are gambling and drinking.

Any one have a match?

was that I was shopping for greeting card and the glitter from a few of the cards must have rubbed off. Of course it helps if you actually have a card with you to complete the allusion.

'Telling the providers not to wear perfume' won't work. It's too late. The horse is out of the barn already.

Perfume a provider put on yesterday will be passed along to hobbyists she sees tomorrow! You missed my point that this stuff lasts and lasts.

Providers need to go cold turkey on all fragrances. Hmmm. Wouldn't it be a good advertising point for their websites?

-CG

Good luck with that one. It's called a BATH honey, and yes a cap full of bleach will take away the damn smell...so will lemon juice for that matter.  Gosh. I can see flat out telling her not to wear perfume before you show up, but what happens when she just saw a guy before you who wanted her to wear it? According to you, even if she takes a bath after that, it's still going to be on her? Will the d*ck and condom smell also still be there?  What about Hair Spray and Feminine products? You should just see women outside or in a damn barn.

-- Modified on 11/29/2012 4:52:07 PM

next time you call someone just ask them not to wear it

I do not wear perfume unless I am seeing someone I have previously seen and know it is okay.  Even in those cases, many times I do not wear any.   Unless I know a man is single, or that it is something he prefers I wear, I will not wear any without asking first.  Ive never had an issue with a gent commenting that I did not wear perfume.  My lotion or shower gel may have a slight scent, but not one that wont be showered away easily.  

When I was an incall provider, I  would have an assortment of popular mens shower gels. I dont see any reason you could not ask your provider to have your brand on hand, or to even bring a bottle or bar with you if you are that concerned.

I did see a gentleman who used a very special kind of soap, with a very distinctive scent. He always brought it with him!  

But I agree...if she's suspicious, she will find out.

i feel 100% dumber for having read this.

Believe me, I bring my own soap, shampoo and hair gel if I'm going home later.  The problem was the perfume she had on after I hugged her.  Probably before we got to being nekkid too.