In my early 20's I had a chance encounter with a beautiful blonde & the chemistry was great between us, but I didn't ask her out because I was too intimidated. Sometimes this incident crops up in my mind & haunts me because she was "one that got away". The chances were just as good that she would have rejected me, but I'll never know because I failed to ask her out.

I sometimes think that my frequenting of beautiful providers is compensation for this long ago botched opportunity. Any other hobbyists
in this same boat ?

The providers I choose to see often look like women I'd ask out in civvie situations, but end up not doing so.  It could be the cute waitress at a restaurant, a bartender in a club, those girls who dance on the stage in nightclubs, or pretty much someone unattainable.

I hobby two or three times a month but it's not over ONE that got away. In my case I think that what started me in the hobby was the fact that I got involved with my wife at a very young age and started to itch for what I may have missed out on had I not been "off the market" in my early 20's.

What is fascinating to me is the fact that the longer I hobby the more I am drawn to having just one or two special ladies rather than boinking every hot new lady that appears on the scene. Definitely a reversal of my initial approach!

when I select a provider my initial filter is based on a "looks scale" ... I'm looking for a level of "hottness" that I know I'd have zero chance with in the civvie world ...

So in a related way, yes, I'm in a similar boat.

We must be from the same mold.  I couldn't have written this any better as how it relates to me and my hobbying.  I saw a new lady this past week and she was the first new one I had seen in at least 9 months.  All I can say about that date is "Why did I wait so long to see her?"  But the older I get and the longer I'm in this hobby the less I want to experiment; I enjoy the comfort of seeing the same quality ladies over and over.

yours is is as good as any... I would guess there are many in that boat...

Why do we always think what we missed out on, passed up, disposed of, ran off, dumped, or never met was such a great lose???

For all you know, she could have been your worst nightmare disguised as a beautiful blonde and the chemistry you thought you had was just your normal 20something hormones running rampant!

You frequent beautiful providers because that is what you want and you obviously have the money to afford them which is something you might only have half of right now if you had hooked up with the blonde when she divorced you.

It's possibly true that the hot women we've been attracted to but never approached may have been more trouble than we ever anticipated - or not.  We're not necessary talking about marriage here.  

The point is that if we had the devastating looks and charm, we'd have more options.  If one didn't work out, we'd be able to try our luck again with someone else.

Being with a provider is pretty much a sure thing, within hobby conditions, but it doesn't contain the excitement of genuine attraction.  

I've said it before, and I think this is true, a man's fantasy is not to have sex with a gorgeous woman.  It's that a gorgeous woman would genuinely find him attractive, after which the sex would follow.  The hobby can serve as a simulation of that, but only for a short time.  Afterwards we continue to want that feeling even if we have to pay for it.  That's why some people have compared the hobby to a drug.

I will tell you that while I see a variety of ladies I am always in search of the ultimate Latina GFE, to make up for the Puerto Rican lady who was my first head over heels love of my life and eventually broke my heart...

The truth is: We've all had one get away and we've never met that one true thing; that one great love because he or she doesn't really exist. Like all things in our lives, we get to make them up as we go along. I think I have dated, romanced some of the most beautiful women on the planet; some from far away lands and yet, what you express here is elusive on many levels. My question: Are we ever the first loves of any of those that "got away?"

As for the hobby, well I see it as an hour or two of bliss especially when their is some chemistry there and that is all too rare. Far from that, I do place a higher value on it because like the one that got away, no matter how great her beauty and charms, she is emotionally unavailable to you after the hour or two and that you need to wrap your head around if you are to truly enjoy the NSA  reality...

I too would only see a provider if she was at least as HOT as someone I could date in the civie world.
I am now married to a provider and she is extremely hot... she crossed the line and asked me out, because she fell for me.
Now I can sit here and tell you it will last forever, but truth be known it may be over tonight. I am grateful to have met her, we share alot of the same life experiences, hopes, dreams, fetishes(we are swingers), etc. I love her, she loves me we are extremely happy and we have a great marriage based on honest open communication.
Our marriage actually got alot stronger and we became even closer after we started swinging and she went back to work. Crazy as that sounds... it's how our marriage works.

Thanks for sharing and I hope you two survive any BS that may come your way.