But that is after 15-30 seconds of smiling and 3-5 minutes of kissing. Nothing come out of my mouth, except maybe my tongue.
She texts you the room number. You go upstairs and as you're about the knock softly, the door swings open and you enter. She's better than her pictures and you're ready to have a good time. What are the first words out of your mouth?
Actually, if you wanted a clever or saucy answer, that stuff might come later. Also, what I say or would say varies from one woman to another, it varies by situation or circumstance. I don't have a "go-to" line, or a snazzy catch phrase that I repeat like some game show host.
get them wet? The only part that seems original to me is, " . . . .Clemente."
But that is after 15-30 seconds of smiling and 3-5 minutes of kissing. Nothing come out of my mouth, except maybe my tongue.
Ok so this JUST happened to me. lol. I turn from coming off the elevator and look down the hallway and there is tons of hotel staff, all together, in front of ONE door. And of course, it was the door I had to knock on. Sensing that they were going to be there for quite awhile, I knocked. You know how you can tell that the girl is standing right behind the closed door? Well she was, and she was nervous about opening it up in front of the massive crowd now assembled just one foot from her. It's like the hotel was having a reunion, and every past and current employee was camped out in front of her door. Lmao.
She finally relented and I walked in, but she had this WTF look on her face, and we both just started laughing really hard and then I hit her with it..."You were thinking about not ever opening the door, weren't you?" That just brought on more laughter, and here I was, now inside her room, with an outrageously beautiful, sweet girl, and she still hadn't said a word in response, as she was wondering internally if I was her date or if the housekeeping manager decided to knock on her door, so we laughed again. Thankfully, things returned to normal the next minute but it was an odd, yet great start, to an otherwise perfect date. lol
But I always close out with... "Stay strong pretty lady" before leaving..
So many hilarious memories!
Steph XO
Do you pick them up? 😀
I have like a vague memory of that being part of the drivel that he posted..
He ate snails, or he wanted the girl to eat snails? What was it? I forgot..
Anyone can refresh my memory? LOL
a snail-trail along the length of my dick. Lol
by ordering snails (escargot) on their dinner date.
Suffice it to say. She was NOT impressed. lol
Ironically, I love snails, but I am no fan of Turdbrain. rofl
Despite of your more alcohol intake than mine, or may be because of it.. I don't know..
Yeah not much into sea food. The most I will have is Shrimp, and definitely not ordering something to impress someone. She can order anything she likes, and I will what I want.
a couple of clarifications though. He didn't just order it for himself, he ordered it for her and that is what didn't go over so well. Secondly, except for being exempt from "meat on Friday" escargot are "land" snails and not seafood at all. I hate to be pedantic, but if I didn't mention it I know a certain pedantic putz would have and most likely would have gone on some diatribe about how I didn't know what escargot is.
And yes, I have heard that tequila helps the memory, although I can't remember where I heard this. lmao
That's the real rub.. He ordered it for her to impress her, not just for himself. LOL Ordering something for yourself, just to impress someone else, is bad enough.
Noted about the land snails..
I am sure someone will pounce on that one after I teed it up so nicely. lol
I hate to say this, but I kind of miss old TidWit. Court too.
... SuperBowl 2020. I went to celebrate at my favorite bar (just across the street). Had a night of "heavy" drinking, forgot my wallet and forgot to pay my bill. Walked right out of the bar into Uber and back home..
Called them up next morning.. The owner himself answered the phone, and both of us had a hearty laugh over the matter. Of course, went back in.. paid my tab and picked up my wallet.
Here's the thing.. This wasn't the first time this had happened..
No one misses Turdball more than this guy.. He at one point he wanted to meet me for beer and wings..Never happened.. LOL
-- Modified on 7/27/2021 9:48:43 AM
They ended up dating for a while, as I recall, before Tidwit completely imploded here.
It was quite an epic melt-down.
I miss him, too.
Like a stick misses its piñata.
You too stay strong sir... You are a gentleman and a scholar..
Unlike the four horsemen LOL
Sorry to mislead. I don't use that line in the circumstance you asked about. However ...
.
When I see an attractive woman, I will approach and say, "Tickle your ass with a feather?"
Sometimes, she smiles knowingly and off we go!
Other times, I get an angry, "WHAT did you just say to me?!!"
"I didn't mean to offend. I simply said "Typically nasty weather?" about [the rain, snow, smog, heat, mugginess, cloud cover, ...] to make conversation."
SHE will then apologize to ME and, sometimes, off we go!
.
I taught that ice breaker to a not too bright friend of mine. We were walking downtown and a pretty woman caught his eye. I encouraged him to approach her and I held back to see how things would go.
"Tickle your ass with a feather?"
She reacted angrily, "WHAT did you just say to me?!!"
My friend looked up, pointed to the sky and said, "Look at those fucking clouds!"
One guy tells another how embarrassed he was when trying to chat up a pretty girl and he said, "It's awfully nipply out."
The other guy says, "Oh, that kind of thing happens all the time. Why, just this morning, I was sitting at breakfast with my wife and meant to say, 'Please pass the sugar, Dear,' and instead what came out was, 'You fucking bitch, you ruined my life.'"
Bob the newlywed, looks at his wife and says, “Sweety, can you pass the sugar please?”
Bill who’s been married a couple years, tells his wife, “Honey, pass me the syrup.”
Joe who’s been married the longest, says to his wife, “Hey pig, pass the bacon!”
Anyonghaseo!!!!!
Works every time.
👍
Not a single word gets spoken for at least the first twenty minutes.
It's really tough to talk with your mouth full. lol
mouth is full for ten minutes and then her mouth is full for the next ten minutes. If you do 69, it only takes 10 minutes total. Lol
And tell them that I know they just can’t believe that they’re about to get paid to have some of this.
Okay, I’ve only done that once way back when I was about 100-lbs heavier and a total fat ass, but it got a huge laugh after a long pause when she realized I was totally joking. I think it was a nice icebreaker though as she treated me like I had the body I joked about.
in a high pitched voice. HOUSEKEEPING !!! You want mint on pillow?
Be honest on your thoughts when you see her. If she can't take whatever you say then it wasn't meant to be.
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