Ok so here's my dilemma.  I found a house that I fell in love with.  I have great credit and income so that wasn't a problem it was PROVING my income.  We all know that no-doc loans do not exist anymore and that underwriters want to see 2 years of verifiable income.  I just got into the business in August and haven't paid taxes for awhile (I KNOW) nor have I estimated quarterly taxes for this year.  I am looking for a provider friendly tax professional that will help me show enough income to qualify for a loan without paying an arm and a leg in taxes.  Does anyone out there know anyone like that?  Any references, suggestions or comments are greatly appreciated!

Sorry, but I can't/won't help you cheat the system the rest of us have to pay into.

illegal gambling, booze running, etc.

I condone pot smoking, but not crack dealing. I support prostitution, but not human trafficking. I support a lot of victimless crimes, but I am not going to aid someone in committing tax fraud.

Any business. you could be a "consultant" or in "marketing" ....you are marketing yourself
or some kind of non descript "services"

Taxes pay for our common good and a lot of social needs, feed and house people, and maintain (more or less...) the physical infrastructure in which we all live, play, and earn livings.

I have no intention of cheating the system I was just being honest.  There were extenuating circumstances that led to me not paying taxes , now I'm trying to be legitimate! I was just looking for help with what I can write off LEGALLY!

The best sources for the answers you are looking for are going to come from your girlfriends who also provide. I have heard of girls declaring the income from freelance this and that. You can also get a full time job, invest everything from there and live off of your provider cash. You can also wash it through a legit business.  

And the Feds haven't lightened up on going after taxes either. I could never understand why providers don't open a LLC limited liability corporation. It's easy and can be done online in minutes for maybe $200 for everything. That creates a legit business and gets a tax ID. Some ladies already do this and form LLCs as models and even escorts, but many don't and are taking a huge risk. I really like Kitty Rain's answer below. I'd rather fight them over minor issues rather than complete tax evasion. The Feds have almost a 100 percent conviction rate if they go after you, and no parole - get 5 years
and you do the whole 5 years. And a felony record after. It's not worth it!

-- Modified on 12/3/2015 5:15:33 PM

and who ever said that no one's mind was ever changed by something said on the internet? lol

You are asking for someone to conspire with you to defraud the IRS. Good luck with that. By law you have to disclose all your income, not just enough to qualify for a mortgage.  

Close ... He was a pimp among other things

Thanks for the advice Kitty I'm going to call them!

Thanks babe! I appreciate the heads up because I've never been o
In this situation before and I just wanted a nudge in the RIGHT direction!

Just tell the federal judge who sends you to a federal institution across the country for 5 years that he can't do that ... You heard it on TER. It's not illegal! LOL then tell him he's a ugly fucker ...
 

Good response ronkini, I agree, taxes are such a waste.  I am against 80 percent of what government does anyway, I have no problem if government does not get all that it thinks it deserves, although I have always paid in full being a W2 employee.

Here's my answer - don't buy the house.  Rent.  

An LLC is the equivalent of the LE check for this purpose.  It offers NO protection nor create a "legitimate" entity/business.

Declare a bunch of cash income that you didn't really earn, like $300,000, pay the the utterly obscene amount of income taxes on that income, then after you are done barfing because of what you just did, show that income tax return to the bank which will be most impressed with your very successful "consulting business", and get your loan.  You now have your new house.   That's how it REALLY works.  Welcome to the American dream.

So your ethics and morality are situational?  You "won't help her cheat the system."  Give me a fucking break! You willingly break some laws but not others. Everybody involved in this hobby is violating a law in some states everyday Who are you to judge? What a snide little hypocrite! You are all over these boards everyday lying and exaggerating about the "literally thousands" of providers you claim to have seen all over the world and the "tens of thousands of dollars" that you take onto airplanes to see providers from ever corner of the globe. We all know that you are nothing but a pompous, pathetic, lying little punk with nothing better to do than post on these boards. But this answer is a new low, even for you.

Line 1:                How much did you make

Just in case anyone here doesn't know, tax evasion is straight up laundering or just not paying taxes. Avoidance is like paying money to your kids as a corporation to avoid paying tax (if state permits, something called family tax cut), usage of trusts, taking advantage of tax free savings accounts and retirement funds...list goes on, benefits of a competent accountant/lawyer.

don't take tax advise from a fuck board, including me. None of us have any skin in the game, most of us wish you well because you are part of our community, but we won't pay the price.

Other than condoms the lingerie and toys are more asset than expense. Condoms are pretty cheap, even female condoms. They can always buy with cash, she likely has a lot of it. The business minded tend to not care how much money they spend on something if it makes them the money back. All you have to do to pay off that new lingerie or dildo is to use it in one or two hours of providing.  

Thank you.  I dig that strategy.  I'm in no rush to buy, I REALLY need to clean up my tax mess before that.

Maybe my wording has you guys thinking I want to DEFRAUD the IRS?!??!  I value my FREEDOM and I definitely don't want the government down my throat.  I am looking for DEDUCTIONS NOT purposefully forgetting to state my income.  The underwriters will VERIFY my information. I understand everyone's frustration with tax evasion but WOW!!!

but after reading a few of your posts, I also get the impression you don't like anyone.  

It's called mortgage fraud.

LOL you know I'm starting to feel the same way I love plantation shutters and Travertine tile and blah, blah, blah.  For now I'm just going to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE and invest.

With your poor choice of words, you might be the first person to ever get life for tax "avoidance"

OK so what do you want to do Ga burn me on a cross?  LOL!!

I really do detest your lying, arrogant, pretentious punk ass. And I am indeed a nasty fucker (but much bigger than you think). Why would you try to bully a woman sincerely seeking advice by imposing your values on her? And on a P4P board of all places! You were most certainly judging her and, unlike Roxanne, I am not backing down. Your post was bullshit and you need to be called on it.

Let's not forget property taxes. In CA for example, it's 1% of the assessed value. But I pay 1.8% and it keeps going up every year. You get nickeled and dined to death for crap you didn't vote for.  

Dude, get a grip.

not to mention very brave, sitting behind that mighty keyboard of his.

He forgot the big reason to own a home. Reduces your taxes big time.  

Really? Is that your best shot? It is completely non responsive to the basic premises of my OP: that you have no business trying to impose your values and sense of morality on this board. But your tepid response is so typical: you make outrageous claims/statements, you get called on them , you wait around for some white knight to rescue you from the ass kicking, then you claim that you are being stalked. You flatter yourself by thinking I care enough about you and your minions to stalk you.  

You really are quite the delusional "tough guy" aren't you?

She never asked for tax advice! Sure, lots of people here are trying to give her that, but that is not what she came here for. She asked for a referral for a tax preparer. Using your analogy, she didn't come here asking for advice to fix her car, she asked if anyone knows a good mechanic. Nothing wrong with that.

First, in her situation that "advantage" doesn't really apply, because she isn't payin any taxes. So for her, buying a house is only going to increase her taxes.  

and it is every patriotic American's God given duty to take advantage of every loop hole he can find to reduce the tax bite; pay unto Caesar exactly what he absolutely has too and not a dime more.

If it’s something to get upset about, I’m clueless.

... in terms of morality, you're above everyone else that comes in here?

it's kind of like this...

... under the guise of a 3rd party.  

we need more of you in these forums.