Here's my answer - don't buy the house. Rent.
Houses are money pits. It is always one damn thing after another. We can say they appreciate (well, sometimes) but there are a lot of hidden costs with having a house, stuff you really don't think about. Maintenance, accessories (you'll really want those $5000 window treatments). Cleaning the gutters, doing the lawn. Replacing the AC/furnace/garbage disposal/appliances. All that crap. And you lose a lot of flexibility. If you want to move, well then you'll be selling that house that's so cute right now and paying some realtor 4.5-6% for the pleasure. And in your case, you are going to pay even more for the pleasure. Because you will be taking money that you aren't paying taxes on, and making it taxable. So, if you start showing, say, 4K a month in income, you'll probably pay $1200 a month in state and fed taxes (including SS, Medicare, Medicaid, etc, perhaps a CPA reading this can help out). So, depending on your hourly rate, you will quite literally be getting fucked on behalf of the government.
Ok so here's my dilemma. I found a house that I fell in love with. I have great credit and income so that wasn't a problem it was PROVING my income. We all know that no-doc loans do not exist anymore and that underwriters want to see 2 years of verifiable income. I just got into the business in August and haven't paid taxes for awhile (I KNOW) nor have I estimated quarterly taxes for this year. I am looking for a provider friendly tax professional that will help me show enough income to qualify for a loan without paying an arm and a leg in taxes. Does anyone out there know anyone like that? Any references, suggestions or comments are greatly appreciated!
Sorry, but I can't/won't help you cheat the system the rest of us have to pay into.
I condone pot smoking, but not crack dealing. I support prostitution, but not human trafficking. I support a lot of victimless crimes, but I am not going to aid someone in committing tax fraud.
There are certain tradeoffs that we make in life, one of which is that if we ever want to accumulate any wealth, and not live in cash based underground economy, you have to join the system, declare income and pay your taxes. You don't need to be a martyr about it or pay any more than the law requires and that definitely includes taking every single deduction you are entitled to.
The problem is, many hookers, drug dealers and other people who live in the underground economy want to have it both ways. They don't want to pay taxes or even declare their income, but they want to be mainstream, have a mortgage, lease a car, everything buy pay into the system like the rest of us. Well, you can't have it both ways. Laundering money is a federal crime and a felony and I won't lift a finger to help someone trying to game the system into which I have to pay.
Taxes pay for our common good and a lot of social needs, feed and house people, and maintain (more or less...) the physical infrastructure in which we all live, play, and earn livings.
and who ever said that no one's mind was ever changed by something said on the internet? lol
it's kind of like this...
don't argue with an idiot... others may not know the difference.
see what I mean?
So your ethics and morality are situational? You "won't help her cheat the system." Give me a fucking break! You willingly break some laws but not others. Everybody involved in this hobby is violating a law in some states everyday Who are you to judge? What a snide little hypocrite! You are all over these boards everyday lying and exaggerating about the "literally thousands" of providers you claim to have seen all over the world and the "tens of thousands of dollars" that you take onto airplanes to see providers from ever corner of the globe. We all know that you are nothing but a pompous, pathetic, lying little punk with nothing better to do than post on these boards. But this answer is a new low, even for you.
but after reading a few of your posts, I also get the impression you don't like anyone.
You have great big balls talking shit from behind an alias, did you get beat up a lot for talking shit as a child?
Is there a reason that in every post you make, it sounds like you are literally spitting the words out? Cowardly little weasels like you are normally beneath me, but I decided to grace you with fifteen seconds of my time. I'll be sending you a bill for those fifteen seconds I won't ever get back.
Has anyone ever told you, you are a nasty little fucker? Try going to the gym and working out a bit and maybe you'll have the balls to call someone out without cowering from under your alias. Nah, you'd still be a pussy, but hey internet boards need whiny little pussies too.
I really do detest your lying, arrogant, pretentious punk ass. And I am indeed a nasty fucker (but much bigger than you think). Why would you try to bully a woman sincerely seeking advice by imposing your values on her? And on a P4P board of all places! You were most certainly judging her and, unlike Roxanne, I am not backing down. Your post was bullshit and you need to be called on it.
Speaking of aliases, you might as well be "talking shit from behind an alias" because you don't have a single review posted under what I assume is your screen name. You troll these boards constantly making wildly exaggerated claims of extensive worldly travel, having seen "literally thousands" of providers, of vast wealth, and wisdom and expressing an opinion on virtually every subject. How do we know that anything that you say is true? The answer is we don't. Why should anyone take you seriously? Most people who read your posts know that you are a liar, but have better things to do than respond to some of your more outrageous ones.
My guess is you are not from Georgia (US or Russia) and probably wouldn't have the nerve to gamble. You are most likely a 5 foot tall, 5 foot wide, tiny dick, pimply faced ogre spewing your vitriol from a computer in the basement of your mother's house. Your one claim to fame is that you are the most prolific poster on TER! I am sure that would make your mother proud. I see that you regained that "seat of honor" after Roxanne Heart managed to overtake you, while continuing to work as a provider. I am reminded of the Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers comparison. She was a better dancer because she did everything he did, but did it backwards while wearing high heels.
You probably noticed that I am not the least bit intimidated by you. I got my eyes on you
Dude, get a grip.
not to mention very brave, sitting behind that mighty keyboard of his.
and yes, I can see his head exploding as he pounds furiously at his keyboard, steam coming out of his ears as he angrily posts his venom. He doesn't sound like a very happy person, does he? I hope he doesn't hurt himself someday, I would say I hope he doesn't hurt somebody else, but anyone that needs to talk that tough from behind an alias is most likely the guy who is five foot tall and can't fight his way out of a wet paper bag in real life, but is more than willing to "go to the mat" on the internet. Well willing to do so from behind his alias that is, just how big a pussy do you have to be to have to do your "tough talking" from behind a second layer of anonymity? Is he really that scared I might come visit him if he talked trash using his real fake name?
Well as long as he is stalking me, he's leaving someone else alone who might give two fucks about what he thinks or has to say, and I suppose it's true that you haven't "made it" on the internet until you get your very own stalker.
Really? Is that your best shot? It is completely non responsive to the basic premises of my OP: that you have no business trying to impose your values and sense of morality on this board. But your tepid response is so typical: you make outrageous claims/statements, you get called on them , you wait around for some white knight to rescue you from the ass kicking, then you claim that you are being stalked. You flatter yourself by thinking I care enough about you and your minions to stalk you.
Your response to my alias is nonsensical. What the hell are you talking about? You might as well be using one since your screen name doesn't tell us anything about you. Exactly how would you "come visit" me if I used my "real fake name"? If you are really serious about "visiting" we can exchange our "real" information in a PM. Would you like that?
You really are quite the delusional "tough guy" aren't you?
You have never posted a civil post since being here, well under your alias that is. I suppose you are probably a BSU under your real fake name.
And yes, it is nice to have minions, a loser like you will never know. You are too miserable in your own skin to ever attract any minions.
Lastly, tough talking words on the internet hardly constitute an ass kicking. PM away if you like, but please no jerking off while doing so. The thought you jerking off while acting like a tough guy on the internet is a rather disturbing one.
If it’s something to get upset about, I’m clueless.
we need more of you in these forums.
far too many dickheads ruining the fun for everyone else.
... under the guise of a 3rd party.
way to go, Mr. Clueless (a.k.a. GaG)
You have great big balls talking shit from behind an alias, did you get beat up a lot for talking shit as a child?
Is there a reason that in every post you make, it sounds like you are literally spitting the words out? Cowardly little weasels like you are normally beneath me, but I decided to grace you with fifteen seconds of my time. I'll be sending you a bill for those fifteen seconds I won't ever get back.
Has anyone ever told you, you are a nasty little fucker? Try going to the gym and working out a bit and maybe you'll have the balls to call someone out without cowering from under your alias. Nah, you'd still be a pussy, but hey internet boards need whiny little pussies too.
... in terms of morality, you're above everyone else that comes in here?
You're a cheater just like the rest of us.
Don't attempt to bullshit your way out of this. It won't work.
illegal gambling, booze running, etc.
Close ... He was a pimp among other things
And the Feds haven't lightened up on going after taxes either. I could never understand why providers don't open a LLC limited liability corporation. It's easy and can be done online in minutes for maybe $200 for everything. That creates a legit business and gets a tax ID. Some ladies already do this and form LLCs as models and even escorts, but many don't and are taking a huge risk. I really like Kitty Rain's answer below. I'd rather fight them over minor issues rather than complete tax evasion. The Feds have almost a 100 percent conviction rate if they go after you, and no parole - get 5 years
and you do the whole 5 years. And a felony record after. It's not worth it!
-- Modified on 12/3/2015 5:15:33 PM
An LLC is the equivalent of the LE check for this purpose. It offers NO protection nor create a "legitimate" entity/business.
As well single member LLCs are recorded on Schedule C same as a sole proprietor.
You should stick with chasing JLS. BTW..why chase a hooker?
and you do the whole 5 years. And a felony record after. It's not worth it!
-- Modified on 12/3/2015 5:15:33 PM
Any business. you could be a "consultant" or in "marketing" ....you are marketing yourself 
or some kind of non descript "services"
Get with a tax agent who specializes in the adult industry
Here in Vegas many of the porn performers use xtaxpros (twitter: @xtaxpros) web: xtaxpros.com
Very helpful and used to working with people new to the biz.
Hope this helps
Thanks for the advice Kitty I'm going to call them!
I have no intention of cheating the system I was just being honest. There were extenuating circumstances that led to me not paying taxes , now I'm trying to be legitimate! I was just looking for help with what I can write off LEGALLY!
The best sources for the answers you are looking for are going to come from your girlfriends who also provide. I have heard of girls declaring the income from freelance this and that. You can also get a full time job, invest everything from there and live off of your provider cash. You can also wash it through a legit business.
I am sort of neutral on the issue of tax evasion since most tax dollars are squandered on military and welfare. Public schooling is a mess, health care is a mess, young adults are complaining...you get the point. Just don't get caught, they make you pay ridiculous interest and you get put in jail. Tax avoidance is legal though, don't mix that up with evasion.
Good luck
Just tell the federal judge who sends you to a federal institution across the country for 5 years that he can't do that ... You heard it on TER. It's not illegal! LOL then tell him he's a ugly fucker ...
I am sort of neutral on the issue of tax evasion since most tax dollars are squandered on military and welfare. Public schooling is a mess, health care is a mess, young adults are complaining...you get the point. Just don't get caught, they make you pay ridiculous interest and you get put in jail. Tax avoidance is legal though, don't mix that up with evasion.
Good luck
Just in case anyone here doesn't know, tax evasion is straight up laundering or just not paying taxes. Avoidance is like paying money to your kids as a corporation to avoid paying tax (if state permits, something called family tax cut), usage of trusts, taking advantage of tax free savings accounts and retirement funds...list goes on, benefits of a competent accountant/lawyer.
and it is every patriotic American's God given duty to take advantage of every loop hole he can find to reduce the tax bite; pay unto Caesar exactly what he absolutely has too and not a dime more.
Good response ronkini, I agree, taxes are such a waste. I am against 80 percent of what government does anyway, I have no problem if government does not get all that it thinks it deserves, although I have always paid in full being a W2 employee.
One question I have: how do providers write off boxes of condoms, lingerie and toys? Those are legit expenses, but might raise a red flag on a tax return.
Other than condoms the lingerie and toys are more asset than expense. Condoms are pretty cheap, even female condoms. They can always buy with cash, she likely has a lot of it. The business minded tend to not care how much money they spend on something if it makes them the money back. All you have to do to pay off that new lingerie or dildo is to use it in one or two hours of providing.
I think providers are smart enough to declare just enough to get whatever they want out of declaring income (house, investment funds, car loan, adopting a kid) and at the same time being in the tax bracket they wish to be. They can always save receipts from restaurants or supermarkets they paid cash with or in and then use those at the end of the year instead of declaring condoms, dildos or lingerie.
Usually, we think of providers getting their ass UNcovered but I think the OP is trying to cover her ass this time. She has cash income of X (in 300 increments); she owes taxes on ALL of it (ALL of it, right?) and wants to know how to declare that income: did it come from consulting, backyard rabbit farming, Martha Stewart style home catering business (ooh! bring one $300 cupcake to each one hour encounter!), ...?
Do find a hobby friendly tax advisor. I think it's doable.
As Brandy Alexandre used to sign off, I'm ... Outtahear
You are asking for someone to conspire with you to defraud the IRS. Good luck with that. By law you have to disclose all your income, not just enough to qualify for a mortgage.
You might also define, "for a while." The longer you go without paying the worse it looks.
Look for a tax pro that has experience with cash businesses. The IRS doesn't screw around.
Maybe my wording has you guys thinking I want to DEFRAUD the IRS?!??! I value my FREEDOM and I definitely don't want the government down my throat. I am looking for DEDUCTIONS NOT purposefully forgetting to state my income. The underwriters will VERIFY my information. I understand everyone's frustration with tax evasion but WOW!!!
With your poor choice of words, you might be the first person to ever get life for tax "avoidance"
You should really go back and reread your own OP, When you start asking for advice for how to "show just enough income to qualify for a mortgage without paying a lot in taxes" just how do you expect us to interpret your words?
OK so what do you want to do Ga burn me on a cross? LOL!!
Here's my answer - don't buy the house. Rent.
Houses are money pits. It is always one damn thing after another. We can say they appreciate (well, sometimes) but there are a lot of hidden costs with having a house, stuff you really don't think about. Maintenance, accessories (you'll really want those $5000 window treatments). Cleaning the gutters, doing the lawn. Replacing the AC/furnace/garbage disposal/appliances. All that crap. And you lose a lot of flexibility. If you want to move, well then you'll be selling that house that's so cute right now and paying some realtor 4.5-6% for the pleasure.
And in your case, you are going to pay even more for the pleasure. Because you will be taking money that you aren't paying taxes on, and making it taxable. So, if you start showing, say, 4K a month in income, you'll probably pay $1200 a month in state and fed taxes (including SS, Medicare, Medicaid, etc, perhaps a CPA reading this can help out).
So, depending on your hourly rate, you will quite literally be getting fucked on behalf of the government.
LOL you know I'm starting to feel the same way I love plantation shutters and Travertine tile and blah, blah, blah. For now I'm just going to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE and invest.
Let's not forget property taxes. In CA for example, it's 1% of the assessed value. But I pay 1.8% and it keeps going up every year. You get nickeled and dined to death for crap you didn't vote for.
On top of that and all the other home upkeep costs mentioned, there's also my favorite - homeowners association fees - the 4th level of government you didn't know existed. Mine is fairly low - a tank of gas - but there are communities that assess much more - like another car payment. Homeowners associations also nickel and dime you to death for more crap you didn't vote for.
If you like home renovation shows on HGTV and power tools, then home ownership may make sense.
If you don't, then buyer beware. Or find a man (or woman lol) who likes power tools 
He forgot the big reason to own a home. Reduces your taxes big time.
Houses are money pits. It is always one damn thing after another. We can say they appreciate (well, sometimes) but there are a lot of hidden costs with having a house, stuff you really don't think about. Maintenance, accessories (you'll really want those $5000 window treatments). Cleaning the gutters, doing the lawn. Replacing the AC/furnace/garbage disposal/appliances. All that crap. And you lose a lot of flexibility. If you want to move, well then you'll be selling that house that's so cute right now and paying some realtor 4.5-6% for the pleasure.
And in your case, you are going to pay even more for the pleasure. Because you will be taking money that you aren't paying taxes on, and making it taxable. So, if you start showing, say, 4K a month in income, you'll probably pay $1200 a month in state and fed taxes (including SS, Medicare, Medicaid, etc, perhaps a CPA reading this can help out).
So, depending on your hourly rate, you will quite literally be getting fucked on behalf of the government.
First, in her situation that "advantage" doesn't really apply, because she isn't payin any taxes. So for her, buying a house is only going to increase her taxes.
Second. For the rest of us, while the tax savings is a nice benefit, anyone buying a house for that perk is making a rather foolish decision. A $250,000 house at 4% interest over 30 years will give a first year reduction of your income by $10k, and then a little bit less each year. But that $10k will see your taxes fall by $1800-$3600
And the reason it's giving that "break" is because you paying the bank 10K thy year to loan you the money. So, to capture that benefit, you actually have to pay the bank $6400-8200 net.
Some advantage.
If you're at the point in your life where you are stable, you're not going to move, you plan on being in the same house for a long time than buying makes sense. Otherwise, rent and stay flexible. Let your landlord work for you instead of you working for the bank or the house.
Houses are money pits. It is always one damn thing after another. We can say they appreciate (well, sometimes) but there are a lot of hidden costs with having a house, stuff you really don't think about. Maintenance, accessories (you'll really want those $5000 window treatments). Cleaning the gutters, doing the lawn. Replacing the AC/furnace/garbage disposal/appliances. All that crap. And you lose a lot of flexibility. If you want to move, well then you'll be selling that house that's so cute right now and paying some realtor 4.5-6% for the pleasure.
And in your case, you are going to pay even more for the pleasure. Because you will be taking money that you aren't paying taxes on, and making it taxable. So, if you start showing, say, 4K a month in income, you'll probably pay $1200 a month in state and fed taxes (including SS, Medicare, Medicaid, etc, perhaps a CPA reading this can help out).
So, depending on your hourly rate, you will quite literally be getting fucked on behalf of the government.
Declare a bunch of cash income that you didn't really earn, like $300,000, pay the the utterly obscene amount of income taxes on that income, then after you are done barfing because of what you just did, show that income tax return to the bank which will be most impressed with your very successful "consulting business", and get your loan. You now have your new house. That's how it REALLY works. Welcome to the American dream.
It's called mortgage fraud.
Line 1: How much did you make
Line 2: Multiply by 100 percent
Line 3: Send in Line 1 times Line 2 to the IRS
don't take tax advise from a fuck board, including me. None of us have any skin in the game, most of us wish you well because you are part of our community, but we won't pay the price.
If you want your car fixed, go see a car mechanic, if you need your plumbing fixed, hire a plumber, if you want your spare room painted (this one is directed at my ex), hire a painter. If you need tax advise, hire a tax professional.
I sincerely wish you well, but know this, a house is a lot of work and can be expensive.
She never asked for tax advice! Sure, lots of people here are trying to give her that, but that is not what she came here for. She asked for a referral for a tax preparer. Using your analogy, she didn't come here asking for advice to fix her car, she asked if anyone knows a good mechanic. Nothing wrong with that.