In one of my drive bys on the forums I recently came across a couple of posts that said something about not wanting to use a woman as a reference, or post reviews, because some provider will get jealous. No one questioned this, it just seemed to be accepted as something that happens. I have read this many times over the years, and like so much of the common wisdom around here (and I am glad to see the attack on the envelope below) I deny there is any truth to it. None.

The normal, active provider will see at least 2-3 clients a week, probably a lot more. She may have some non-p4p fun in there, too, though that is a lot more variable. It is natural to develop some emotional attachment to a person who you see in a very intimate situation over time, but keep in mind that any good provider is able to provide a good show of romance with some guy she has never seen before, whether or not he is exciting in any way, or any good at turning her on. Plus, by the time she gets to the hundredth client (which will happen before the end of her first year), and probably a lot sooner, she has gotten good at disassociating sex and romance. That does not mean she is not having fun, or does not like you - she may or may not, and if she is good at this, you will never know. So just enjoy, don't question.

If all of that is true, why in the world would she be jealous to know that you are seeing other providers? She knows you saw them before she met you, she probably knows you see other women, maybe a wife, in your private life. No, she is not jealous. She may decide to play jealous, tell you she is jealous, and she may even be genuinely disappointed that you spent your money with that other women, annoyed that you paid her more than she gets, or some other thing. She may use jealousy to get something she wants from you, or she may have dom tendencies and just want to control you because she enjoys it (I have known a few like that).

But jealous she is not. Trust me. Okay - I admit it probably has happened at least once in the history of man and escorts that a provider was truly jealous that she had to share the guy with another escort, but feigning jealousy to manipulate a client is actually common. Jealousy is very rare.

Or maybe it is just me. I have never had a provider tell me she was jealous, though I have had one tell me she loved reading my reviews and masturbating (the height of romance for me!).  And if one does tell me that she is jealous, I will reply "Jealous of what, babe?" But then I am more interested in friends with benefits than lovers.

Of course, you may wish she was jealous because you are a little jealous of her other clients - been there, done that. My advice - admit it, and get over it. The fantasy is a great part of the fun in the hobby, but it is important to know it is fantasy. For all practical purposes, providers are not going to get jealous of you fucking someone else. If they did, it would make it very difficult for them to be provide.

Will I get the replies from providers that say they fall in love with every client, or the clients who say that may all make sense but their special favorite is different, or?? Stay tuned. There are reasons people accept these fantasies, so it would not surprise me if some choose to defend it with stories of how their favorite really does get very, very jealous because she loves me so much!

There are other good reasons not to post reviews, talk about who else you might be seeing, or use someone as a reference, but getting her jealous is not one.

zig

I generally agree with your position but if you are an elite client, 4-5K per month, you better believe there is a lot of paranoia and angst, not jealously, when a provider gets a reference call.

Just like some bartenders will get jealous if you drink down the street, many providers get jealous if you take your "business" down the street. It's not a matter of her being emotionally jealous, it's a matter that some hookers get VERY proprietary about their customers.

After all these years, I am surprised you took "jealousy" so literally

If you want to see jealously about clients try going to an open whorehouse where hookers have to compete openly for customers and you will see just how "jealous" a hooker can get over a regular john. I have seen actual catfights violent enough to draw blood between jealous hookers.

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I have also noticed that there is a definite correlation between how broke a hooker is and how jealous she gets where it comes to sharing customers.

I am sure that is a huge news flash that never occurred to anyone else before, right?

As for TER  providers, try checking out any of the many "whore wars" that have happened on any of the many regional boards, Atlanta is a great example and you will see just what kind of lengths some hookers will go to, to ruin the business of another hooker that she sees as a threat.

Sometimes "common wisdom" is based in truth, this is one of those times.

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So if jealous does not mean jealous, why use that word? We both know the answer, and that is my point - it plays into the fantasy. Sure it is competitive, they get annoyed, even angry, but they do not get jealous.

I agree with the rest of what you say, as I said toward the end of the OP.

zig

So common wisdom is correct because jealous does not mean jealous? If I say you are 85, look like a bloodhound, can't get it up and smell like mothballs, am I correct? Because what I really meant is you're not young any more, so I must be correct - those other words don't mean what the dictionary says.

Absurd argument, that you need to understand what they meant not what they said - you can do better and I bet you will.

zig

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I "overheard" a hooker conversation once and the line that stuck with me was, "that skinny bitch isn't taking my clients!" Women are very competitive when it comes to other women and it has nothing to do with jealously or love. How many times has a girl asked if their hot friend is "prettier" than them? Women are wired differently and don't fit into categories so easily.

In this business, or out, it should be a red flag.  It is short-sighted, immature, and counterproductive; I would not wish it on anyone.  

We all have a life, and we especially should not judge or assume others' feelings

being jealous of another's success or guarding your customers "jealously" is still jealousy. and I am sure that no one here is going to deny that some hookers treat clients as their personal property.  

It's not a matter of having to understand what they meant as opposed, it's a matter of you taking an overly narrow definition of the word "jealous"

Before we continue parsing words, do you deny that some hookers want to keep their clients for themselves and won't give references for that reason? If you can't accept that as fact, I don't suppose this conversation is going to accomplish much until a few hookers chime in confirming they have had this type of thing happen to them.

That is not always the case with hookers in direct competition with each other. Some hookers believe that if some john goes to see a different hooker, that it's HER money he's spending. If you don't believe me just do a message search on the subject, there have been hundreds of posts between warring hookers trying to ruin "the competition" or complaining about others doing so to them. Check out the Atl board, a train wreck thread on the subject seems to break out every week.

Have not experienced jealousy in this world (because I don't use regulars as references, I don't review, and no one knows me by my board persona).

But in strip clubs .....

Just try establishing a "regular" relationship with a dancer and then taking someone else for a half hour VIP dance.

"Hell hath no fury ..."

And I think it IS jealousy.

Does it really matter if its jealousy based on economics or emotions?

Your OP did get into what was my main point at the end, it was just a rather long OP and I sort of skimmed over it, my bad.

Your point was hookers rarely if ever get emotionally attached to a client enough to feel any jealousy for the act of seeing another hooker, the money aspect, or sometimes unrelated hatred for another hookers aside.

We basically agree, and I am going to find another battle to fight. Damn, I hate slow days when no one will come out and play. lol

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I agree with your post... I can't imagine being jealous of another provider seeing "my" client lol. I have quite a few providers as great friends and I have/will happily refer "my" clients to them, I want them to be safe and successful in this.

I may get jealous that another provider has an awesome body, or great hair, or a super cool website design, or that she charges more than me (and gets it) lol. But that is the extent of my jealousy towards providers, clients just aren't a factor.

Sounds tiring. But some women do fight harder for that money, and think that strategy will work in the long run.

I have lately been thinking of this as the sperm and the egg. The sperm fight and race for the egg. What does the egg do? It just waits lol. The strongest, most capable sperm finds her and she get what she needs.

Quite honestly, I've found that to be very successful.

jeal·ous
ˈjeləs/
adjective
feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.
"he grew jealous of her success"
synonyms: envious, covetous, desirous; More
feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship.
"a jealous boyfriend"
synonyms: suspicious, distrustful, mistrustful, doubting, insecure, anxious; More
fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions.
"Howard is still a little jealous of his authority"
synonyms: protective, vigilant, watchful, heedful, mindful, careful, solicitous
"they are very jealous of their rights"

So yes, they get jealous. People get jealous all the time over someone else's advantages.  

Gee, GaG, I'm surprised you missed that.

I work in a business, and when we see a long time customer go over to our competitors, it kind of hurts, not just from the money angle (Though that is important also.), but from a point of pride.

It makes us redouble our efforts to win them back

A few times they fucked up, and cc'd me in their email exchange.
It was always pleasant. With safety being the main concern.
Maybe you are seeing the wrong escorts? If anything..
When I saw how two different escorts who never met each other spoke to each other in order to verify me?
I was super impressed. They were very professional.

but I think that over the years I've cared quite a bit about some providers/friends, but was able to control my graphic mind images about them having tons of other partners.  I think that's called "compartmentalizing," and I'd bet women are more successful at it than men, but we both have to do it to preserve our sanity.  The crux of the matter is control/obligation in a relationship, in my opinion.  That is, I know I can't control the behavior of a favored provider in having many customers/partners, any more than she can control mine.  Of course, she has scads more and that's the way it is.  If you really cared about someone passionately and were deeply involved with him or her, and  knew they were fucking someone else, that's a different matter and that's where jealousy comes in.  The Italians understood this from the get -go and that's why they composed so many operas about it.

will actually go the extra mile to thwart who they see as competition. As gag said check out the Atl board, I've had a provider I'd never been in the same room with or had a conversation with start rumors that I threatened her with physical violence to her clients to get them not to see me, however, that tactic backfired and quite a few came to me often and after a few visits and learning me better, they would tell me what she was doing. I eventually had to expose her publically and request she stop the bad behavior and false statements. To my knowledge she did but I have no idea why I became her target.  

Had another provider, I was starting a friendship with tell me that although we attracted the same type of men in the business, (several cross referremces, how we met) but they were paying for it, and there is no way that in real life the same men would be attracted to the both of us. I felt as if she was saying somehow I was less attractive or appealing than her in "real life".

Some providers feel like standing next to an attractive woman makes them ugly, no matter how pretty they are themselves. Some feel like him seeing me takes food off her table. Some feel like him seeing others is a bill she now can't pay, or shoes she now can't buy. Some feel like they are "classier" or "VIP" and her "non counterpart" is not, so how could he be slumming with her. Some feel like receiving a reference is just an indicator that client A has money to spend so why reference him rather than rally for the business herself.  

There are so many horror stories and reasons providers engage in skulduggery behavior, my advice is that if you encounter a provider that exhibits even the slightest of these behaviors, run, don't walk. Eventually it will be turned from another female and directed toward you.

Me myself, I think there is enough Love to go around for everyone. No need to be underhanded and slick. Be good to the universe and it will be good to you.

Love, Joi Love

Jealousy as in the context of real life romantic feeling? Shirley you jest...

A prostitute sees and has sex with men for money. 95% of the time he's older, fatter and uglier than her.  90% of the time he's already fucking other prostitutes long before he met her. 85% of the time he's already married...

There is no POSSIBLE  reason for a prostitute to feel jealousy. That is, unless you count "acting" as real. Of course that's "acting". The better performance she puts on the more money she is rewarded just like real-life professional actors.

OTH a provider DOES get jealous professionally-speaking if her john spends his money on somebody else other than her thus denying her said mulah.

"You know, some people were taught that selfishness, jealousy, gossip, slander, etc puts food on the table. I get it, but move on!"

Other things work as well. And then sometimes the Universe is feeding someone else, while you open your horizons to more new clients.

Amazing statistics, where does one find those numbers? Is it just your ass you pull them out of 90% of the time or will anyone's ass have the same data say 95% of the time? What is the standard of deviation, the mode, and the mean for your asses numbers compared to someone else? Given that everyone has a different ass? Does the size of an asshole make a difference since pulling data from a small asshole would be more difficult than pulling data from a big asshole? Don't you agree...

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References, while not fool proof, are the best way to ensure safety and pretty much every escort who cares about her safety relies on them. Why would someone be stingy with giving references when the whole system is a big part of how we keep ourselves safe? Might there occasionally be instances where an escort feels threatened that a client is choosing to spend his time/money elsewhere? Sure, but I highly doubt those feelings would trump giving a reference. My experience with other ladies. whether asking for/giving references, talking at meet and greets, or sharing bad client info has been overwhelmingly positive. I think the stereotype of women competing against each other and being catty is incredibly sexist and overblown.  

Also, for many providers our work causes a certain amount of social isolation. Even those who choose to tell loved ones about their jobs usually feel uncomfortable going into great detail about it, especially when things get stressful for whatever reason. I'm lucky to have a few provider friends to talk to about stuff that I just can't with anyone else. I also refer clients to them/have been referred clients by them. I think this attitude is common, far more so than staying in your own little corner like an angry cat ready to lash out at anyone who enroaches on your territory.  

And honestly, clients travel, they want to experiment, they want variety, etc. We get that. We all benefit from it. From a pure business standpoint, "jealous" behavior is a good way to stop getting any.

Getting CCed usually isn't a "fuck up." It's a common business practice in some circles to CC people you are writing about as a courtesy. They probably learned that in college.  

Just like going to a car lot that has salesmen sitting on a bench waiting for the next suspect !

Same goes for working in a strip club. Lots of cat fights ..

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That's crap! How is it a common practice to CC someone in a conversation about themselves?!?? Especially something like a verification? What if it went bad, and I saw it all? How stupid!
I didn't miss much in college did I?