I wanted to share with you because there is a broader sense of opinion and perspective.
While I realize that the content may not be relative to you as the protocol may be different in your parts, I still wanted to share.
So, tell me, do you find this helpful? I wanted to be as gentle, and factual as possible, though, knowing the SD board, they will probably object to it, but if you read it, would you think it clears some things up for you? Here it is:

There have been enough 'newbies' lately, and enough occurrences to enough ladies to finally decide to post this post.
I feel that communication is very important, so this post is simply about communicating some things, that perhaps some of you don't know.
Either you come from a different area and things were done differently there, or you are new to this 'hobby community' and are simply not aware of the protocol, but whatever the reason, I have decided to post this so that it is openly communicated and then there are no hard feelings between the ladies and gentlemen once we have this understanding.

When you book your 'date' with the lady, and we'll say it's for three hours, which may include lunch/dinner or perhaps a longer date to include entertainment, the clock begins at the appointed time of the date, NOT at the time you have your private time. She has reserved that slot of time for you, and that's the start of the date. After all, it is the TIME you are paying for. There are some of you out there, who think that if you book two hours and one hour is spent at dinner, and the other hour is spent privately, then you're fee is for the ONE hour. No, it is for the two hours that you reserved with her. Equate that with renting an apartment. You rent an apartment and then go on a two week vacation. Can you pay your landlord only two weeks rent because you weren't there the other two weeks? No, they have that apartment rented to you which means it's not available to anyone else for that time slot. It's the same thing.

I am referring to just the standard expectation because if we don't discuss it, and it hasn't been communicated, how can anyone know? It has occurred enough lately and some ladies are feeling 'shorted' enough to a point, that it's time to talk about it!
Now, granted, sometimes there are 'deals' made, or she's voiced that this part of the date will be 'off the clock' to you, etc, and that's between you and her, but the standard expectation is the date begins when she arrives.

Which leads to the next thing. If the lady is late by let's say a half hour for her two hour date, then you both can decide whether the date just went to 90 minutes, or simply was extended a half hour later (that's easy), but if the gentleman is a half hour late, and she had that time reserved for you, expect to pay the two hour rate and not short her for you being a half hour late. Again, these are standard expectations, if you and she chose to work through them differently, that's up to you, but at least you know what the expectations are!

This is very important to cover this! For example, if you book a date with a lady for 5 hours to include whatever entertainment (dinner, movie, etc.), expect to pay her 5 hour rate! The fee is for her TIME and I think either some of you forget that, or are new to this arena.

Here's another thing. You feel more comfortable meeting the lady first so you invite her for a drink somewhere. The standard expected fee for one hour for this type of arrangement is $50. Again, if she chooses to waive that, or offer an alternative, that's between you two, but that is the expectation.

Also, the poor guy is somewhat in a Catch-22 because he has questions he wants to ask but knows that she can't say on the phone, nor wants to openly state in an email, how can he be sure he not only knows what to expect, but to be sure he is doing the right things? So, hopefully, this post will help with that, and then one final thing - please check her website and read the pertinent stuff on there! The TER profile is not where to look to see her rates etc. The info on the profile was created by the very first client who posted a review and is not relevant to your date with her. Viewing her website is the sure thing.

I certainly hope this has cleared up some things for you as well as smoothed over some areas that are starting to, shall we say, 'come to a head'? (puns intended)

Excellent advice.  Unfortunately, there are some CB's out there who don't know how to treat a lady.

Sedona, someday I'll get to your part of the country.  I look forward to meeting you!

A real gentleman knows how to go about getting what he wants if he wants it bad enough.

Corey Edwards, PhD Sexology

Hi Sedona,

You make some very excellent points.  However, a couple of other things to consider.

1.  The gentleman is paying for "x" amount of time with the lady.  Our expectation is that she isn't answering cell phones or including in the time allotted, the time she needs to get dressed or whatever. Nor should the time include the time the guy needs to be ready to leave.

I guess my point is that the time agreed should be spent with each other.  Not doing other things.  Which can happen all the time.  Not to say that a guy won't abuse his time with the lady. It shouldn't happen either.  And yes, I know it does.  More often than not.

Thanks for your excellent advice and points.

Bond

Thank you Sedona.
That was very eloquently stated. I appreciate it.
Laura

None of the professional ladies I know of spend time on the cell phones when they are with a client.

Thanks, Sedona. I agreee.

I have had times when men have expected me to give them extra time because we've spent 10 or 15 minutes talking beforehand. Forget about the extra 20 to 30 minutes I spent making sure he was satisfied with the experience. Some people forget these things. Believe me, I am not a clock watcher, and I think most of my clients/friends will agree with that, but sometimes it is easy for clients to forget that this is a "real" job for us. This is how we make our living, even if we enjoy it. Shoot, I've done many jobs I've enjoyed, but I didn't expect my boss to request that I stay an extra hour without some form of compensation (although I have done this quite often too). Now there are several occasions where I've stayed way past the scheduled time slot with a client because I wanted to or because my friend has been using my services for a long time and I would like to thank him for his business. I've even given free time for birthdays to gentlemen who see me on a regular basis or given discounts to others. I hope the men out there don't take this personally, because I enjoy my job and time with my clients/friends, but we all need to remember this is a business, like anything else. After all, wouldn't you have to pay your attorney for a consultation? Have you ever walked out of the grocery store with free food, even when you're broke and possibly have sad eyes?

Thanks everyone for listening to me.

Hugs,
Ciara

Thanks everyone for the comments and I realize that my post doesn't include every little thought and detail but is just kind of a guideline of expectations to open up FURTHER communication. I also tried to write enough times that that is the standard, though you and she may choose OTHERWISE.
One PM I got asked about when she is late versus he is late. And I want to clarify. First, she should be on time. If she's not, she either owes him the time, or makes the appt. time and fee less. But, I had a client who was late a half hour because he decided to pop in and say hello to a client that was along the way and then shorted me that time. He also shorted me the time we spent at lunch. That time was RESERVED for him.
I don't necessarily want to imply that I adhere to every thing that I mentioned. If you've seen me, or read my reviews, you see that I don't. But, I think it's important to know what the expectations are, or there's going to be misunderstandings and hurt feelings. What prompted me to post wasn't so much of my own (recent) experiences but of several others enough to make me say something.
I was also PM'd about the meeting for a drink, for the $50. I've done that several times now and never once asked for the fee, though the loveliest gentleman surprised me with one anyway. In fact, I've even picked up my own tab on occasion.
And as far as time on my appointments, just read my reviews. I not only usually go over but have gone over sometimes an hour to three hours! That's my choice.
But, this post (the main one) was not meant to be about me, though some have made it so on the SD board. And thank you, Mr. Self Destruct for sticking up for me on the SD board with the asshole SDMIKAL.
I appreciate your comments and questions because on this board you have have reasoning minds, unlike the SD board. So feel free to discuss whatever, as long as nobody gets mean .
It was simply meant to open communication...


-- Modified on 10/1/2003 2:09:47 PM

I am shocked that you would slam the san diego board posters like that, Sedona.  

It's possible that you and I just have a different definition of reasonable.

WOW.

Elise [email protected]