There are many wonderful qualities re: providers, but one of their greatest virtues is that the overwhelming majority are very accepting and do not discriminate. Hygiene is their more pressing concern and you already spoke of that which is excellent.
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That said, I would recommend being upfront about your size during your initial outreach. Clear and honest communication from the beginning helps ensure that you find someone who is comfortable and genuinely interested in meeting you.
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Best of luck to you! I am sure there are many amazing women out there who would be happy to meet you, as you come across as a thoughtful and decent person.

I too experienced a huge loss a few years ago;  It was gut wrenching.  I've found much comfort in this life.

I wish you the best.

Tom

It sounds like you have been through a lot and also like you’ve overcome a tremendous amount. It also sounds like you’re lonely, and I’m sorry to hear that as well.

It is my great pleasure to reassure you that, just as RR said, the large majority of us do not care one whit about your size or shape. We are concerned about your respectfulness and your hygiene. I can personally say that I would be delighted to spend time with a gentleman such as yourself, but so would every single provider I know. You can book without fear.

(The sole caveat I would give is that quite a bit of medical furniture is rated to 250 pounds, particularly portable massage tables. That said, you should still have plenty of options.)

.... nor is it the main point. He said, "even if just for a massage". I often get into discussions with ladies about clients; likes/dislikes, etc. Hygiene, respect and humor round out the top 3. Demeaning/degrading comments or actions biggest turn-offs. As far as "large" clients, just don't expect missionary. Your apparent shyness will likely be more endearing than hurtful.  

Give a little info on your concern(s), timidity and uncertainty, and the lady you choose will most likely feel encouraged and happy you chose them for your first (early) adventures into this field of entertainment. One more thought..... go at least middle/upper-mid  market price range; get quite an improvement in class and concern. Top, high price you might want to wait until a little later; You will be too nervous and uncertain to appreciate spending the extra cash.

First, I’m sorry that life brought you to a place where you feel you even need to ask this question. After everything you’ve been through, I can certainly understand why the fear is there.

As someone who has been a provider for many years, I can tell you that I’ve met people of every body type, age, ability, height, weight, and background imaginable. Never once have I looked at someone and decided their physical attributes would determine how I treated them or what I thought of them as a person.

In fact, I learned something very important early in my twenties. I met plenty of conventionally attractive men with absolutely terrible attitudes, and plenty of people who may not have fit society’s definition of attractive who turned out to be some of the kindest, most fascinating people I’ve ever known. It taught me pretty quickly that physical attraction isn’t nearly as important to me as who someone is.

A funny story comes to mind. When I was around 25, I had a gentleman arrive for an appointment. I looked out the window and my first thought was, “Oh my God, he looks exactly like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.” For a brief moment I froze. Then I took a breath, opened the door, gave him a hug, and discovered he was one of the sweetest men I had ever met. I ended up seeing him regularly for a couple of years. I still occasionally wonder how he’s doing and hope life has been kind to him.

The reality is that providers who are in this business long-term generally understand that people come in all shapes and sizes. The ones who are overly focused on appearances usually don’t last very long.

My advice would be not to let your fear stop you from trying. Do your research. Find someone whose personality resonates with you, who is kind and respectful during the booking process, and who seems genuinely interested in people. Personally, I might even suggest looking at providers who are a little more mature(over 35) and more experienced. With age often comes perspective.

I know that you’re looking for general advice here but posting on the local Washington DC and Baltimore forums might get you some specific recommendations. If you want to start close to home with massage, check out @mdmassagetherapist on Instagram.

Sensual massage is a great way to ease back in and experience the touch and tenderness you're seeking. Regarding providers who are inclusive and happy to entertain diverse clients, there are many of us out there. Personally, so long as someone is 21+ and kind, respectful, and willing to provide the verification I require and follow my stated policies, I am open to meeting them.