I have a soon to be ex ATF who calls me almost every week to tell me her "work" schedule, as she calls it, for the week. Her mention of the word "work" drives me nuts. Perhaps I should start calling her "working girl".

I've talked to her about it but it still continues, as she tells me this is what sh tells her kids when she leaves her home. Am I overreacting? I just wish she would tell me she was available at such and such a time and leave it at that. I have other ATF's that don't do this.

I'm curious if referring to it as work offends other people? What do the other girls refer to it as?

I don't have any problems with the terminology.

It's here thing if she wants to call it that.

It is work.

No matter how much she enjoys it she is WORKING.

Get over it.

Generally speaking, the expectations of GFE has gone way too far.

The only thing you should be annoyed about is the fact that she calls you every week to announce her schedule.  Personally, I would be more aggravated about her expectation of your support unless you have an arrangement.  Pay-for-play on an hourly basis doesn't call for updates or weekly solicitation of clients.

It seems to me these poor working girls just can't win.

We bitch when they don't act all GFE and worship the ground we walk on......

Then we bitch when they pester the shit out of us like a freaking GF.

So what is it? GFE or not....

Me, I want it all.....  give me a big kiss and fuck my brains out, but don't call my ass unless I call you....

Love you ladies to death.......

RK

Anytime a provider has called me ,she always emailed me first  and asked when she could call or emailed and  asked  me to call her..
Only once did a provider call me without a email first and it had nothing to do with her telling me her working hours..It was a unrelated emergency that did not require money or a Dr.
If a provider called me unannounced to tell me her availability I would put her on my DO NOT SEE LIST.
On the bright side I only visit Pros, and have never used Craigs List so I seriously doubt I will have your problems.
 Get Real This isn't the Dating game.

well i recognize the term is accurate for some providers, it is not accurate for me. this is not my "job," it is not my means of earning a living, etc. therefore it is absolutely not "work." also considering the intimate personal relationships i have with my clients, using such a term would just sully the whole thing for me. about the most clinical word i use to describe time spent with clients would be "date." but most often i don't use any special terminology at all...it is just meeting up with a friend, or someone i care about, and you don't need code words for that.

Are you happy with your association with her otherwise or ar there other reasons why she is "soo n t be ex" ?

I'd be flattered if a lady I liked invited me to book with her and gave me all of the available options every week

And - get over it!  it is "work" - she is doing it to earn money. Do you "go to worK" to earn money?

I swear, some of these posts bring me to the conclusion that 90% of the gents on this board are not at all suited to the hobby......

What should she call it?  To her, providing is how she makes her living, and she views it as her job.  What do you care what she calls it?  

Hey, man, if you are going to fire your ATF over terminology, all I can do is shake my head...overreacting?  Gee, ya think?

I never get an email or phone call from anyone, much less my ATF. Gotta admire the girl. It's work to her and she's just doing business. Quit bitching and answer the phone.

and always call gentlemen I see friends which they are or I wouldn't see them again.

It's very strange for any lady to call her friends weekly to let them know when they are available. Most men would not be happy with this no matter how much they enjoy the ladies company. Sounds a little pushy to me but it's right on the lines of her work schedule.

Are you overreacting ? Well it depends on how confused you are about the relationship you share with her.

Kisses Haley

Always remember we are in a business situation. I don't mind being called client because that is what I am. Seeing me is also part of a providers job so it is work. Just the way it is and try not to let it drive you nuts.

I like a lot of my clients too BUT THIS IS "WORK" whether it's enjoyed or not or if this is our main means OR NOT. If it wasn't "work" I'd do this for FREE. It is what it is.  You pay her right? Enough said. Are you overreacting? Absolutely...mmmhmmm yeah.

A lot of guys AND LADIES like to put a lot more into all this than it is......like I said in my first response if it wasn't we'd be doing it for free.  A lot want to feel like they are paying BUT NOT REALLY lol. I refer to is a work.... yes a lot of my clients/visitors/friends are awesome people and they come back so I assume they think so also but they know it's pay for play unless you guys are hanging outside of when she takes appointments...it is what it IS.

Thanks for expressing your opinion, so here is mine: it's also about keeping up the mystique about the relationship. Why destroy the fantasy with the bold truth?? Early in my experience with providers, I was very young and nervous. A wise provider tried to help me relax and ease my nerves by telling me to simply imagine that we were old friends just enjoying each other.

The raw, sterile,  clinical verbage, while accurate, isn't always the preferred terminology. While I have no illusions and know it's work, I do have a preference as to how one refers to it. That is what you work to provide.

...it drives me crazy when I get an email like this "Hi Caroline! I was wondering if you had any slots left for the day?" Slots? I know I get paid hourly, but really?? Would my clients really want to see me knowing that my vagina has been a revolving door for all the other guys I've seen that day? I would think my clients prefer me because I am a pretty normal college student who doesn't sit around scheduling all the man meat my body can take.

I've also been asked via gmail chat "Are you working tonight?" I agree. Hate that term. With. A. Passion.

When it comes down to it, yes, this is work. This is how I can work a great unpaid internship during the summer that really adds to my resume instead of the secretarial position where I learn nothing. This is how I pay for school. BUT I think it definitely ruins the fantasy to call it "work." Isn't the fantasy what this is all about? I agree with OP. Alluding to it as work completely ruins the experience and makes it seem much more mechanized and impersonal.

1. Her actual schedule.
2. She's doing a hard sell on you.
3. Keep in mind that it's *work* for her and she's not your girlfriend or anything. That's why she keeps using that word.
4. She at least tolerates you, and definitely likes your money.
5. She definitely likes your money.

It does not bother me when a provider calls her time with her clients including my time with her “work”. That is what it is, work. It is what she does to make money. I am not into too much fantasy. I do not want the ladies to fake orgasms, tell me I'm a great lover when I'm not or anything like that. It is a turn off for me. I do like to give the lady I am with a orgasm or two and I am out to get mine but the fantasy bothers me. I know it is part of the game, but fake stuff is distracting at best. So her calling it “work” would be a plus for me. Now her calling weekly to give me her schedule that would get annoying real quick. I don't mind a phone call or email from time to time as a friend just to say hi, but phone solicitations always irk me. I would put a stop to it one way or anther.

I think of you as *best case scenario* boyfriends or men I've picked up online... like a fling from my college days.   Maybe her wording reflects her mindset.  

The golden rule in a reciprocal arrangement.. which means you and I  feel special and not one of a crowd.  

I wouldn't  want to feel like I was being booked like my hair appointment.
Seems anti-good times.    You might be doing her a favor to mention your uncomfortable feeling .   that you don't like feeling like 'work'.  

No you are not over reacting.   You feel how you feel and that is valid even if others do not feel the same way.  

Too many times the GFE illusion has caused some issues  because some men step over that line that makes it uncomfortable. Injecting the word "work" into the equation maybe some sort of not-so-subliminal reminder that it is a situation that has boundaries, even though some guys will flinch when they see/hear it.

And yes we are working girls, just like you're a 'working boy' when you go collect your paycheck.  Yes you have talked to her about it, but she may see that you may be reading something that is not there and due to that fact she still uses it,  at least in her mind, to keep things comfortable. Or she just didn't listen.

The calling you every week should drive you crazy. but hey if that works for the two of you thats ok.

I really am curious as to what you suggest she call it?

I know all you gentlemen out there think it is just all fun and games
but, there is alot more to being a working girl then the good wet stuff in the middle...

no offense at all intended to you MsMocha, but this is not "work" for all of us. the fact that we are given green pieces of paper does not automatically qualify something as "work." for me, those pieces of paper serve two purposes: to HELP keep emotional boundaries intact, and to feed my own personal sexual perversion/fantasy. the objectification inherent in all this pushes some of my erotic buttons in a major way...and without the money that just wouldn't be there. that's because i develop such close and complex relationships with the men who see me. if one were to focus only on what we actually do together, it in every way mirrors a BF/devoted GF relationship, or in the case of a select few, two very dear friends. but the fact that there is money involved adds that naughtiness that i thrive off. this is also why my rates will always be far far lower than what i am worth...receiving TOO much money would kill that perv factor. and when that particular thrill starts to fade out (which will probably happen within the next year), then i will continue to see and serve those special men i have gotten to know over the years, who still need me. sans green pieces of paper, of course.

so yeah, that is why the "w" word squicks me. this is not my job, it is my LIFE, my REAL life, and my passion.

Some times a reminder is necessary to keep boundaries in place on both sides. If she is calling weekly maybe she really likes you and needs to remind herself it is work not a real BF/GF situation. And may be she is reading something in your behavior that makes her think you need that reminder. Literbike that was a great point.