Finally have a few minutes to reflect on my week and thought I'd share.

So it started out with taking a flight and not being able to upgrade to even economy plus..knees in my throat for the entire duration.  What was even worse was the asshole sitting near me with what seemed like sweaty (and I suspect non-manscaped) balls.  I noticed that the dude kept checking out one hookers website as well...ogling her pics that seemed to have her doing a striptease.

And wouldn't you know it...my fucking luck I'm stuck in the middle seat between the Great American Hobbyist and the Great American Asian Hobbyist.  Three fucking hours of these two dudes arguing who was the "best" hobbyist.  Finally the flight attendant...an Asian man in his mid 50's told them to STFU and never use the word hobbyist again.  I don't know who that man was...but thank you.

Unfortunately another smell seemed to permeate the cabin.  Perfume..cologne..I don't know but it wasn't masking the smell of the sweaty balls enough in any case.  Finally a movie started to play (they wanted $ 5.00 for it and I don't pay for that shit)...but it seemed like a chick flick as I noticed a couple of women babbling about how they like to be pleased...so they must have been lesbians as they seemed to know how to please each other quite well.

Many of the passengers seemed to be quite happy in any event.  I guess they all got laid earlier in the week?  A few did complain about their sex partners...something about morning breath and bed head.  And in case anyone cared...you can get porn on the internet at 30,000 feet.  Some guys were checking it out..others seemed to not care.  And yet others preferred to read erotic literature...some were also writing it.

A few days ago I got to meet the scientists who are growing vaginas.  They are still conflicted as to how best to present it to the masses...as a MILF, a GILF or something just plain nasty (as is sometimes evidenced on the photo board).  There was also some discussion about the latest internet bug...but United Airlines isn't affected...or so they claim.  

Around Wednesday I noticed some weird skin thing going on with me.  I didn't know what to do about it...so I figured some anal sex would resolve the problem.  I guess it has worked..so far.

And then the most bizarre thing...fucking United Airlines wants me to write a review.  So I told them I'm chgoCPA and they wanted to see if I could get someone who will write them a 10/10.  Seems they did some background check on me.  Hmmpph!!

I did suggest that they hire only real hot cuties to be flight attendants.  And that they should all wear leather outfits.  I'm hoping that works out...but my pal OSP is doubtful.  He said that they'll hire old hags and that won't be fun.  

But if all flight attendants get EROS approved...what can possibly go wrong?  Oh..and some celebs were on the flight.  Too bad...they didn't have their make-up on and I wasn't sure who was who.

When did the airlines also want to know your zodiac sign?  Seems like the airlines want to know which city has the best hookers as well...it was part of the airlines attempt to make the passengers happy.  I think Chicago...but that nice Asian flight attendant suggested checking out Costa Rica.  He seemed knowledgeable.

Whew....quite a week.  Well, actually only 2 days.

You are just too big to fit into an airplane.
We are lucky your big ass ego didn't crash it! LOL
They told me you could remove a fire hydrant from the ground. You know...

I don't know about that internet bug though...
Maybe its up you ass?

Hi CPA.. Fuck you

What next?  Roddy pretending to be GaG?  Say it ain't so!

Why is it , BTW, that I am the only user name you remember? The "rest" are just in-your-end-o's".

I can't remember the last flight where SEX was so redused to "commonplace" happenstance

Wtf did I just say? Lol

Longisland anyone lmao

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I cant get up . should I put her in my will . she belonged to me yesterday, I was happy and I think I gave her oral .  she licked me back like a cherry pop on a ho summer day and we took a bath together afterwards . just wanted to share in my moment .  

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I was back with the rest of the crowd...cramped in tight quarters needless to say.

I'm thinking that the in-flight entertainment was going to be a squirting contest...but no one wanted to spend $$$ for bottled water to shoot out.  Guess it really is pee  

OH...and Taylor is off to find some serious writer material...I think she's got her sights set on WickedBrut?

Sorry...it was on the trailer after Son of God was over.

And would raise a serious stink if they hired more of them.  

Come to think of it...I haven't seen one that was under 45 on domestic flights.  And wouldn't even rate a TER 6.

As well...if I use actual names here they'll want a royalty.  I'm a cheap asshole that way  

That would definitely explain your foul mood. lol

Nail on head...

I bet you there isn't one in fifty flight attendants on domestic flights that would rate as high as a 6, even on the inflated TER scale.

I have met a few real hotties on some international flights however.

Rod wouldn't have told you not to fuck a beached whale in CR....he would have told you..

"Stay strong pretty lady"

And then you'd have to look at yourself in the mirror...and that would be hard.  
 

to fix me up with my hookers . bet he thought the envelope might not be enough . where rod I miss him ( NO I DONT ) rod come and tell me how im wrong ..
 

fuck you all , my story .. lol  
but I see you and nick are an item , common kids go to it . and make it nice and sex

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I'm telling you...it's a guaranteed method to check out her whoreness.

She also loves anal...give it to her already  LOL

Just leave an extra C-note.

And you can use your BiB handle to write it.

Better be a 10/10 as well...or else  LOL

No acronyms either...details.  I won't read it...just skim it.  

I think it'll drive Rod nuts...go for it  

Oh...how about some video as well.  Next flight they can show the whole thing.  You and TS sitting having dinner and discussing TER boards...no sex or violence as kids are on the flight.  But they'll be selling the XXX rated version for an upcharge.  Demand some royalties.

She is a Tantrika..
Fucking sex/ yoga specialist!!
She can bend in ways I never thought were possible.

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Plenty of young gals can be flexible.  You'd plotz at some of the positions I've had the gals in  LOL

But they also fucked and sucked...that's what they are doing here.

So...did you try the "drop the bucks" trick yet?  I'm guessing you did since that's how you know she's a tantric.  Plenty of them advertise that shit...few know how to really do it.  

Don't be a weenie boy...go for it already.  

should I . she aint bad looking a bit skinny but that's better than fat . and her favorite color is white and were both white so maybe . and the review it would be good cause well I know she wants it bad and does need it bad .

that far away so that makes 3 if im feeling the loving .  
final answer 3 ..

but not in a brokeback kind of way. I'll leave that to Rod and his many admirers

Have you been hacking into his PM account?

I think your boy Rod is all tingly for you lol. He wanst to "toss" you if I read correctly. Let me know how that goes. I have 4 star Te-kill-ya to get back to

Man,this is better than Melrose Place and Dallas back to back. Or Brokeback as YOU put it

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monthly based on seniority.  Therefore the older ones choose the longer flights, like across the pond, and the younger newbies get stuck with the short hops like Chicago to Philly to Boston.  Your 3-hr. flight had older more experienced flight attendants no doubt.

I've flown across the pond...across the stream (Lake Michigan)...and barely off the ground routes.

The one constant is ugly and old (with a smidgen of fat for good measure) flight attendants.

Add to that cramped quarters and obnoxious newbie flyers....it's nothing like flying back 30+ years ago.

And never will be again.  Shit...I just flew on an "updated" UAL A320 that just added another fucking row in coach.  If you're over 5'9" (and I am)...no fucking way you can sit in coach anymore.  And the nice male flight attendant (he wasn't an Asian however) told me that UAL is going to add another row shortly.  Better be a fucking hobbit if you want to fly coach in a year or so!

BTW....my OP was a synopsis of the past two days of TER ramblings...FYI  

I  don't think anybody got that.

CPA did a nice job, but you're still the master! (bater)

I guess I'll have to make formal announcements for certain posters?

Nah...they'd still miss it.  

Exactly lol

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was in a hurry after the deed and I asked her why . she said she just got a puppy and she misses him. bad part was she said she had to go home cause he wasn't paper trained yet , dude you cant use a toilet ?  
'good pick though full menu ..  

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Just last night, with my friend KL.  My only time this month so far, but...

nectar?  

Good morning Mr. Black

But I will agree about these two. Not sure what they're waiting for either. A connection is a connection is a connection. I say go for it.

-- Modified on 4/13/2014 6:43:22 AM

I can top it:

Why does a dog lick his own balls?

Because he hasn't asked his bitch to do it yet?

I actually enjoyed reading this. Each section you extracted fit perfectly into your flight.  

Xo