people-  This is a reflection of a good post on the LA Board.  What pisses you off about the hobby?

I don't mean bait and switch- that's obvious

For me the fake sex talk is so pathetic- I really hate it when a lady says some stuff that is too obviously porn derived-

Come on my tits - few real ladies like that

Come on my face- really? - then why are you grimacing when it occurs?

Ladies in too much make-up

Ladies in lingerie- trying too hard

I think this could be a good forum to get stuff off our chest...

The ladies that manipulate clocks...
The ladies that give you their real names and email addresses. That takes away from the fantasy...
The ladies that turn the lights way down low. I wanna see that pink in all its glory!
The ladies that wear too much perfume. I had one lady whose perfume you could smell all the way down the hall. She really didn't have to tell me her room number, I could have just followed my nose...
All in all, I've been fortunate enough to meet some lovely ladies that fulfill the fantasy, and take care of the things my SO can't. Keep up the great work ladies.

First, I certainly appreciate what you're saying Sully and I'm not mad at you for stating your opinion. I just want to make that clear. I have always enjoyed your posts.  

Most guys want us to create a fantasy for them. I always ask a gentleman beforehand if he is allergic to perfumes or oils, and I try not to wear too much of either. However, I like my legs and butt soft to touch, so I will apply a thin coat of Almond Oil (not sticky or smelly) to make them smooth. I also wear some perfume (if he's not allergic), but it's a light and classy scent. I will light candles but I also have some stained glass bulbs that illuminate the ceiling with shadows of my palm trees in the room. This gives just enough light -- along with my fireplace -- to enhance the mood and to see each other, yet not to be too blinding. I'm sorry but I like to create a sensual atmosphere for me and my partner. If you're coming to my incall during the day, then it will be much brighter -- naturally -- anyway. If you want bright lights on, then just ask. Don't assume anything. You guys are in control of what type of fantasy you want. Don't always blame it on the woman. We're trying to give you the world, but some just don't appreciate it. If you just want to get
f - - ked, then say so. It's simple.

As far as men go, here are my beefs:

1)  No cologne and sweaty.
2)  Too much hair to deal with down there
   sometimes. However, I think most men are
   catching on to shaving or trimming it way
   back for us ladies. Believe me, gentlemen,
   you'll get a lot more attention down there
   if you do.
3)  Use breath mints before you arrive if you
   plan on kissing me. I love to kiss
   so if someone's breath is bad, you'll know
   it because I won't want to kiss you. If you
   have a dental problem, then please take
   care of it and don't expect me to clean
   and floss your teeth for you. That's just
   gross!
4)  Don't try to start another session when it's
   time to go. If you couldn't get off in an
   hour and a half (already overstaying your
   time), then you might not anyway. Talk to
   your doctor about Cialis. I'm not a
   clockwater, but I'm also not going to let
   someone take advantage of my time and
   business. This is a business, guys,
   get used to being timed and being asked to
   leave when it's time.  If you're close to
   an orgasm and it's a little over, it's no
   big deal. However, I -- and many ladies I
   have spoken to recently -- get very, very
   tired of being taken for granted lately.
   You guys are wanting more and more
   time from us and we're not being compensated
   for it. Some of you (actually it's the
   majority anymore) want way more than should
   be expected. I try to give a massage (which
   a lot of ladies do not do), give you oral
   pleasure all over, give you more than one
   pop (if you can), but I swear you guys keep
   wanting more and more. Believe me, many of
   us are getting tired of it. Sorry, but we  
   really are tired of the games. This is a
   business. Remember that the next time
   a guy posts, "You ladies have to be aware
   of the time 'cause we guys don't pay much
   attention to it."  Well, guess what? See
   what happens when we do? We get slammed for
   it. Urgh!
5)  We're not supposed to wear perfume, wear
   makeup, wear lingerie, wear heels, set the
   mood for you guys. Give me a break! The
   next set of guys will then say we don't
   wear enough sexy lingerie. Where are the
   garter belts, the candles, the heels? Geesh!
   I guess you can tell we sometimes get fed up
   with all the stupidity of this business.
   
I, for one, always ask a gentleman what he wants: clothing, perfume, color, outfit, what he would like to drink, etc. I go way above the normal escort service. I want it to be a true GFE, but you guys need to remember how it used to be. You were lucky if we even kissed you. So stop bitching! What more do you want from us? Urgh! If you want more, then hire a robot. If we want to hear you bitch, then we'll get married. Thanks for listening. We all need to vent occasionally. Okay, I'm done. Where's my chocolate?

Hugs,
Ciara

MODIFIED FOR STUPID SPELLNG ERRORS. I'M SO ANAL.
   

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-- Modified on 9/15/2006 3:30:35 PM

"For me the fake sex talk is so pathetic"
I'm not the greatest dirty talker so what comes out of my mouth is always authentic... a gent should enjoy it when he gets it!

"Come on my tits - few real ladies like that"
Actually it's very sexy to watch, which you don't have the opportunity in many other scenerios.

"Come on my face- really?"
No, thank you.

"Ladies in too much make-up"
Never an issue with me.

"Ladies in lingerie- trying too hard"
Oh come on now... I love to wear lingerie!  Simply putting it on makes me feel sexy which helps me BE sexy!

So, what annoys me?
* Dirty men.
* Men who can't read simple instructions on a website.
* Men who pretend they didn't read instructions on a website.
* Men who WON'T read instructions on a website.
* Men who think 5 minutes left is the time to start another round.
* Men who can't hit the toilet when they use my restroom.
* Men who don't call to let me know they're running late.
* Men who think showing up 15 minutes early without a call is appropriate.
* Men who ignore my request that "if you don't like my screening to please enjoy your time with someone else" who then send me the email asking me to ignore my own safety and security needs, because they are so very nice and have so much to loose.
* In general, time wasters and game players...

Hm.  I think that's most of 'em.

Fortunately the majority of men I meet in this hobby are true gentlemen who respect my needs, my time, and the nature of our relationship.

-- Modified on 9/15/2006 3:44:49 PM

Oh sorry, you said clocks.

HAH, my bad.

First, the guys that piss the ladies off.... I mean after a guy pisses off a lady and I am next in line, I usually have to spend 1/2 my time with her, calming her down and telling her that I am not the last dude....

Next, guys that don't have a clue about this hobby!  Some of the questions?  they could be answered in this day and age by just going on the internet and reading... (back when I hobbied before the internet, it was more trial and error - with lots of error).

Bank machines that dispense money in $20's - really - how about one for hobbiests that dispense in $100's and 50's! lol - I mean really, I'll bet there are plenty of Bank Presidents who hobby, they should know.

Ladies who are afraid of sex - yea, ya know, the ones who look as if they grabbed a poisonous snake, when all they 'brushed against' was a pants snake....

Ladies who smell (bad)!  a real turn off....

Ladies who cannot laugh.  for that matter, gents who cannot laugh... for that matter a president who cannot laugh at his own mistakes.... oh, sorry wrong topic.

Ladies who do not like to be "touched" -- and I do not necessarily mean "down there" -- I have been with more than one lady who did not like to be touched - anywhere...!  what a turn off.

Ladies who do not take the time between appointments to "freshen up!"  this happens more with agency gals, where there is an assembly line...

Ladies who are not pleasant! and will not talk to me as a person....

AND Finally - ladies - who insist on going somewhere other than Denny's for diner.

-- Modified on 9/15/2006 3:49:59 PM

I have had about 3 ladies actually like watching a guy cum....   while I am not into that, it seems that some ladies actually are fascinated by that.... Including my ex wife!  so I think it is a real fascination! lol!  Ladies - more comments on that please?  As I am fascinated by that fascination!

Denny's "food" tastes like they use styrofoam filler.  Can't eat it.  
; )

I don't mind so much when they move them back. But the ones that move them forward like 10 minutes really get me!!! The cock manipulators I don't mind so much.

Websites that give no clue where you provide services.

Perfume and smelly soap in the shower are on my list too. Use unscented stuff there.

When the get-to-know-you conversation begins to lag, unbuttoning my shirt or grabbing me through my pants is a great way to move things along. We both know why we're there. Or ask me how I like my cock sucked.

Too much make-up is too much. You'd be surprised how good you look to me right out of the shower without a speck of make-up.

Speaking of showers, the hair-and-make-up excuse may be valid to you when I ask you to join me, but it's usually the first no-I-won't of the session. A little wet hair is much less important to me than a slippery, soapy warm-up in the tub.

Coming to my hotel room and turning down the lights, which I have gotten just the way I want them is no way to please me. Hey, guys are crude and like the simple stuff, the visuals.

After 90 seconds, of DATY, saying, "That was great, but I can't take it any more."

Saying you love it when someone comes on your tits, when offered as an alternate to CIM is lame. If you don't want me to come in your mouth tell me that you don't like it. And don't pull it out of your mouth when I start to go off and claim that you DID let me come in your mouth. And don't blame STDs, either, if we did everything bareback except come in your mouth, the actual eruption isn't going to make much difference.

Maybe some guys like it and that's why you do it, but I am put off by anything that is intended to make me feel like more than I am. Yeah, I know I'm old and ugly and hung like a gorilla (they have teenie weenie weenies). All that exclaiming about my looks and big dork just makes me feel like a big dork, one who you think is too stupid to know the truth. It also makes clear that you aren't sincere or genuine. Instead, why not simply ask, "Now what can I do to make you feel REALLY good?" Or find something (though I can't think of what) to complement me on that's real.

When you ask what I want you to wear, and I say, "absolutely nothing," I really mean it. I'm a child of the sixties. I like simple and natural. A frilly push-up bustier, six-inch heels, mesh sockings and rabbit ears are not simple and they spoil the mood - for me - rather than create it.

I'll second the no-porn-talk too. I've had dozens of girlfriends and none of them talked like a porn movie, even while doing the nastiest things imaginable. Looking in my eyes and smiling is a bigger turn-on if this is actually supposed to be a GFE.

I really don't mind that you aren't 18 any more. In fact, that's attractive to me. Given a 25-year-old or a 50-year-old, I'll go for the one that's closer to my age every time. I may be rare, but I still pay up front. So don't Photoshop your character away, because you may send me away too. Walking in and discovering that you aren't as you represented yourself puts the session off on the wrong foot.

Your website says that I paid for your time, nothing else. So why are you on the way out the door when I paid for two hours and it's only been 25 minutes? Even if you have a one-pop rule (which makes me wonder why you'd suggest 2 hours), the TIME was paid for, right? It might be OK, but I might appreciate the company for the next 90 minutes. At least ask; don't assume.

Also, don't assume I came if you didn't see or taste the evidence. There is nothing like you getting up and then realizing that you think we're done and I'm defintely not. Of course, it's worse if you brought just one condom, which you just flushed.

Communication and honsety are big turn-ons.

Just kidding. Actually, the Denny's bit is just a joke between Bizarro and me, although I've been known to eat there about once a year -- usually after a night of dancing. I have to clutter my body with cheese scrambled eggs and bacon every now and then . . . and Starbuck's coffee.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 9/15/2006 4:47:24 PM

ridiculously slanted towards the positive.  Because of research sites such as TER, I have been able to either find or hear about amazing and wonderful women.  More often than not (90 percentile) I have been honored and privileged to be with beautiful ladies who treat me like freaking gold.  I frequently leave in awe of these women.  They are fantastic human beings who enjoy what they do and rock my world along the way.  Like any other large population of people, there will always be those who get under our skin.  But speaking from a male perspective, in this hobby, we have much more means than the ladies do to weed out those who will 'annoy' us.  Sully's thoughts are perfectly legitimate but let's not lose sight of the better picture.  For every 'Oh no, not this' sigh  there are 10 'Oh my f'ing God's! complete with toe-curling, spine tingling, mind numbing happiness.   Let's keep perspecitve...                      

-- Modified on 9/15/2006 5:42:35 PM

We've many wonderful 24-hour options which are MUCH tastier, greasier, saltier... much better than Denny's for our late night cravings!

In all my "exploits", I haven't, yet, met any lady who gave me any reason to be annoyed.
The only thing that might be even remotely considered an annoyance is that time seems to go by so slowly before an encounter that it seems like our appointment time will never get here.
Trying to find something to do to keep my mind occupied on other things in those hours leading up to the appointment time can be difficult.
But it has ALWAYS been well worth the wait.
A WINK to you, special lady.

Just my opinion...
B

Actually, the area here is great for food too. I especially love seafood. Got to get to Seattle.

Hugs,
ciara

I hear your rant, and agree with all the points you've made.  On the time issue, you're preaching to the choir here.  I always watch the clock; it's just me.  But I do have a question about being trimmed down there.  Has a client ever asked you to trim him, or have you ever offered?  I think it would be sexy to have a woman attend to matters in that area.  I confess to trying to trim myself once and ended up knicking myself in an inappropriate place.  I'd much rather have someone help me, and my wife is not included for other reasons.

under the bridge - near the U "dub" campus...  alder wood smoked salmon.... yum... with cornbread to die for... yum....

But really ladies - all this hoopla about Denny's when me?  Wish there was a White Castle nearby, now them's good eats!  sliders.... ummmmmmmmmmm

-- Modified on 9/15/2006 6:52:16 PM

I've sincerely liked many of the providers I've met but there's no way anyone without a medical degree is wielding a sharp instrument in that region of my body.  Just the thought of it is like a bad thriller come to life.

Advice that could apply equally to both sides of the equation:
Get your expectations/rules out on the table;
Put it (ladies--tongues and fingers, men--you know) only where it's invited;
wash that thing before you invite anyone to touch it;
wash it again;
remember it's about having fun--if we wanted real life we'd all be home counting the weeks until the SO is ready to put out again.

Funny, everyone has his/her likes/dislikes.  One persons pleasure is another's pain! lol!

I liked it and it was fun. I was extremely careful. However, I didn't realize he wanted me to shave his genital area as well as his legs. It was very messy and it took me two days to get all the hair out of my tub and scrub it clean. There's probably still remnants in my plumbing from that time. Never again -- a trimming yes, but not the whole darn body. Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara

Heck! Forget the clams. Get me some lobster or shrimp. And, no oysters for me boys, or you'll be up all night.

Hugs,
Ciara

I always wash my kitty well (inside and out). In fact, if I go the bathroom right before he arrives, I wash it again. I'm just paranoid about how it smells and tastes. I'm anal, what can I say.

Hugs,
Ciara

Just as there are all types of men, there are all types of women and even among providers there is a wide variety.

In the real world, men learn quickly that no matter what the lady promises, we have to walk on eggshells trying not to offend. Acting offended is a method many women use to control a situation and manipulate men. Works damn well too.

We may be the ones paying for the fantasy but we all instinctively understand you have the power to put the brakes to the whole thing at a moment's notice for any dumb thing we say or do.

So many of us try not to be too demanding to the point that we don't communicate what we want. It's also a problem because if we're too forward in stating what we want, the provider can get spooked into thinking we're cops or weirdos and leave the room.

I appreciate all the effort women make in trying to make themselves and their environment lovely and romantic. Often times, it works even when we don't say anything about it. But there are times women try too hard and I think that was the main message of the original post. Too much makeup or too much perfume can actually kill the mood rather than enhance it.

I had a provider answer her cell phone in a middle of a session. This is a two way street but when I pay for the hour or two I think I should have home field advantage. My ground rules.

1. Are no call no show... both the provider and client should have decency to cancel ahead, not just be a no show.

2. Clients who whine about what is wrong with this hobby - like everything else, common sense and courtesy should reign... don't like a provider?  Go to another

-- Modified on 9/16/2006 3:36:31 AM

Women who think French kissing is constantly tickling the tonsils of your partner!  Hay, it is dueling tongues, not a jack hammer!

Women who cannot carry on a conversation when you come up for air!  Intercourse is not just sex!

Women who are not clean!  Yeah, I suspect that far more men are not clean, but it does happen the other way.  If you have a yeast infection, cancel your appointments!

Ladies in lingerie trying too hard? I don't get it. Most guys I see like nice lingerie.

I don't normally wear a lingerie outfit unless I know the guy and he's coming to my incall. I have alsked many guys and they say they like me in clothes when they visit but some prefer the outfits sometimes.

Do you mean answer the door in lingerie?

Sara

I dislike when a guy emails me for an appt & right away puts down other ladies he's seen.  

For example, guys write to me sometimes & say 'In March I saw Vanessa, real pretty but kinda boring. Recently, I saw Marie, she's got major issues & not a GFE'.

Or they tell me the girl's real name along with her working name.

This is a way to insure you don't get an appt. I wouldn't want some guy I trusted going & giving my info so freely just to get a date, lol.

One guy wrote me the other day about going to Miami. I told him I didn't. He wrote back 'that's too bad cause you seem more impressive than these teenage bimbos I see advertising'.

Okay that tells me he has some sort of attitude right up front.

Sara

I'd trust most reputable providers to do a good job.  After all, women generally shave their genital area more often than men.  They have more experience and better tools.

I gotta say, I love the fact that ladies shave, and after hobbying for a bit, I decided to try it, and found that I really like the feel.... don't think I will go back!  I also have to say that the feeling of two shaved surfaces rubbing against each other is just really great! and that is the primary reason that I do it.... ummm love that feeling!

but as for shaving the rest of my body?  well, except for the nose hairs and ear hairs, think I will keep them out of your plumbing if you don't mind!  lol!  That is soooo funny!

Hey, aren't I allowed to voice my opinion too? That was my point: If you don't want makeup or perfume, then say so. Communication is key to a great experience. We don't always know what you're looking for darlin'.

Besides, my list needed to be stated. There are more men expecting the sun and the moon these days. If you re-read my post it says that I like Sully's posts and I'm not mad at him. My first paragraph explains why women do these things. My second was "MY LIST OF DONT'S." That's all.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 9/16/2006 11:36:36 AM

You need a home cooked meal... from The MEAL Ticket.

And soon!

Vegetable Lasagna
Japanese style asparagas
Smoked peaches!

TMT SolaLess in Seattle

Before or after my trip to China?
; )

And no noodles!

TMT

If there's one thing that is too personal is when a guy starts talking about another provider. It's nice if he compliments another lady, but why would he even bring her up? Isn't the time spent with someone supposed to be about the current provider fulfillng a fantasy? Anyway, that's okay with me, but if he hates her, that really disturbs me. When a guy talks about another woman, you wonder what he is going to say about you behind your back. It's uncalled for and is a breach of security no matter how you look at it. I don't talk about other men when I'm on a date, unless someone brings up that a gentleman posting on TER is funny, nice, attentive, etc. If I've met him, I'll agree, but personal information should never be shared with someone about a provider or a hobbyist.

Just my "common" cents (pardon the pun).

Hugs,
ciara

I certainly agree with all you have said here, BIGTIME.  I am not a clock watcher either but lately feel I have been grossly taken advantage of.  If you want an hour and halfe, or two hours then you need to book that and pay for it.

I would also like to add that my donation rates are posted on my website so please don't ask me what you owe me at the end of our date.  It makes things very awkward.  You have a watch and know how long you spent with me.

Please don't call me and ask if I am running a special.  If I was it would be posted.  If you are a regular of mine you know every once in a while there is extra time on my clock.

Please don't feel offended if I don't remember your name when you call me and say "Hi, this is Joe."  I may know a few Joes.

Like Ciara, I go way above and beyond the norm for my dates and do not mind doing it all.  I love setting the atmosphere, dressing as you like, role playing etc. but I do appreciate your respect for my time.

As for the hairy privates....I do offer that service and it can be a very erotic experience and one I have done several times for clients.  - Lia

I am also fascinated by it.  It's warm when it hits my skin, I love seeing it afterwards, and I love watching the "explosion."  Not on my face though.  - Lia

Sara, you can wear whatever you want next time I see you.