I know a lot of guys think it's harmless but there is something I need to remind you of to protect us (providers).

I had posted on the L.A. board about possibly coming there for a tour. I had asked that people PM me about good places to stay that were safe. I didn't want that information on the board because LE patrols these boards.

However, some had mentioned to me in PMs that  certain people (giving me their names) stay at  certain places and that these women really liked it. HMMMMMMM!  I know some you guys didn't mean anything by it, but that is dangerous for us. We often don't want anyone knowing where we stay, especially other providers or clients we haven't met yet. You have no idea who is nice and who isn't nice in this business. Can you imagine if two providers didn't get along and one wanted to burn another? Now that person knows when and where that provider will be staying. Can you say, "Call LE?"  I know that sounds vindictive but there are some that would do it. I don't want anyone to know where I'll be staying unless they're booking an appointment with me. I am very discreet with my gentlemen friends and I expect the same from them.

So, please, please, please, gentlemen: Do not! I repeat: Do not tell other people where a provider stays. You can always suggest places that you thought were nice but there is no need to mention ladies' names and where they stay, okay?  

I appreciate all the responses I received and I truly thank everyone for it, but please be discreet. You wouldn't want us to tell everyone where you're going, would you? Please use common sense.

Hugs,
Ciara



-- Modified on 9/9/2008 10:57:19 AM

When I make recommendations on places to stay  - all I say is some providers I know have stayed here - and they have said that the staff is ok - or this is a nice place to stay, central to resturants, shopping etc.  

Just to prove how dangerous it can be - even when you think it safe... a lady friend of mine - took a cab late last night, the cabbie - went down a dark and deserted ally....   clearly with rape on his mind...  fortunately for my friend - she is very capable of defending herself... and did... but - sheese, Ciara is right, the less known, the better.

It amazes me that some guys NAME the hotel, and EXACT address on the public boards citing "it's a favorite hotel of providers". Just plain dumb.





-- Modified on 9/9/2008 10:52:30 AM

Read this post on the DC board:

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=116393&boardID=6&page=1

Whenever someone asks me about good places to stay, I try to give general areas of a city that are safe and reasonable. If they want more specific information, we can exchange it via PM. Good points, though. Safety and security are paramount everywhere, especially when in a strange city.

-- Modified on 9/9/2008 10:54:48 AM

No names, just places. Even that information should be given privately and not made public on the boards.

and while I would love to say that this behavior is limited to this hobby, that would be a tragic lie.  

This just highlights how devoid of true human interaction most of our lives have become.  That some are driven to obsessions, and even to acting on those obsessions...  I've seen it in the workplace, within my family, and within my community.  Tragic....  Sometimes you find friends, but wanting someone to be your friend/lover and  demanding that of them, when the feeling is not mutual is not a wise path to take.  

We should all heed the cautionary note.

Which, by the way, is not secure (sorry TER). Email me directly for that information.

Hugs,
Ciara

that hobbyists/providers are part of a small, tight-knit community and need to watch out for each other. If I can't put someone else's safety ahead of my own agenda, then I need to get out. But that's just me.
jhb

I used to go out with a lovely lady who worked as a cabin attendant for an American carrier.  It was the policy of all the airlines to make sure the place the crews were staying when they laid over was kept secret because stalkers would occasionally pursue them.  This was true for the women, but for the men as well, the vast majority of whom were gay and would occasionally be harassed for this reason.
I also knew of three nurses over the years who had been followed home and harassed.  My patients always had (and have) my cell phone number and I have never had any trouble, but a few of my colleagues who had listed home numbers had to change them to new unlisted ones because of harassment.  I guess we all have to be super sensitive to be responsible clients and protect the professionals who clearly mean so much to almost everyone here.

It's a joke, but a very bad joke. Shame on them!

Our lives are just as important as hobbyist's lives. Things like this make us all want to retire. And believe me, stupid stuff like this is talked about on the Provider Board (to keep us safe).

Hugs,
Ciara



-- Modified on 9/9/2008 12:50:49 PM

is not that common. It should be common sense not to post sensitive information on a public board, but somehow that tidbit of common sense seems to elude an inordinate number of hobbyists.

Hopefully, those that really need it will read this.  It's easy to forget that there are evildoers out there, because most of the people I've met here have been among the greatest I've come to know.  It does happen, as I came to find out personally in my back yard.  I'll spare the details, although it's not that private (any more).

Thanks again Ciara.

When gentlemen have told me I had providers living in my same property.
One provider emailed me to tell me a gentleman had told her I lived in her community.
When a gal wants to tour in my city I would never suggest on the public board the areas that she should stay. Avoid..yes. I mention if they pm me I can suggest where to stay.

Just in the last week a post was made and several providers suggested actual areas where to stay. One of the areas suggested has had several cl busts. What with all of the CL advertising...I believe posting this info is not helping out anyone.
They also like to say all the touring providers stay in these ares' hotels. Now why would any Lady want to find herself in hotels where lots of providers are staying and where LE sets up stings?

If you like to tour around the country, which is something I have done...you have to be able to blend in with the rest of the hotel guests.

I know I have seen other providers in hotels...actually ran in to a few in Virginia.
They sent a waiter over to my table to tell me that I had 2 friends sitting up at the bar. I walked over..rather surprised and did indeed know one of the Ladies.We had met at a social in DC. A well know provider from Virginia and her current doubles partner.
They worked that bar... and all the bartenders knew them.I don't ever work bars or hang out in them at my hotel. If I see one Gentleman downstairs for a drink...he is the only one for me at that hotel. Why would I want to be seen everyday with a different bloke?

Anyway....at one point in the evening a guy came up to us and asked if us three ladies if we wanted to share a bottle of wine with him and his friends. This well known Lady asked him for a pen and then wrote down her website for him.
Needless to say...you never know what might be happening at the hotel you stay at.
And no..I didn't go for the wine. Frankly i was a little shocked by the whole scene.
I sometimes ask my guys to please never..please... tell anyone my location when I am on tour. I want to be able to come back to my safe place.
Safe and private locations are crucial.

It seems to me that there are tons of escorts out there in hotels around the country. Choosing a safe place to hobby is important and any information regarding any person's location should be confidential. If I have a gentleman start to "Chat" about another provider...whatever it might be about, I end it right there.

Remember the right to privacy

If you look at the SF board right now, you'll find a list of hotels as long as your arm, not in PM's, but right there on the board for anyone and everyone to see. I couldn't believe what I was reading, and it's been there for days.

On the bright side, I have a list of places I know enough not to stay, if I'm going to be entertaining anyone.

Thankyou for this cautionary thread!
When I was a total green-horn newbie, fortunately an experienced Lady broke me in to the do's & don'ts (before I found TER & doubled to my education).  
She ok'd to review her but cautioned not to name the exact small community where she is located.  Naming hotels publically is totally stupid.  I believe many hotels are provider friendly or at least sympathetic...  it's more rooms rented.  But NO MANAGER or HOTEL CHAIN could take the heat of this information being made public.  Hotels must be UTR as much as providers.  Use your head (big head) guys.
skb

I don't even understand why providers want to tell people when they are out in public that they are escorts. I have made it very clear from the start of any relationship that I don't want to talk shop with outsiders while I'm out having fun. I don't want to be linked to that in public. Who would?

I cannot believe those ladies pulled you into their snare with those gentlemen. They probably told a few other guys who told a person at the hotel who told the bartender who told the cleaning lady who told the manager. Geez! Some people, eh!

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 9/9/2008 7:11:40 PM

Shame on you!

Guys, this is a no-no! My pics are my pics and should only be viewed on my website. They are not meant to be passed onto other people. If you want to view them just go to my website, please. I do not find it humorous or nice to have my pictures floating around the Internet. Please stop doing this. I can't believe the week I'm already having so far. Please, for goodness sake, use common sense, if you have any.

No hugs right now,
Ciara

No hugs right now,
Ciara

-- Modified on 9/10/2008 8:22:36 AM

Ciara -

I am aware that there is probably a way via your website encoding to prevent the ability for someone to save copies of your pics. I'm just sorry I don't KNOW the specifics to tell you how to do that. Perhaps someone with more technical expertise can offer you some assistance...

It may be a case of closing the barn door after the horses are gone, but might help down the road.

I hope your week gets better, it sounds like your having a rough one.

C_K

I just had a guy email me about backchanneling.

It seems he thinks it's okay to talk to other guys about personal information that they do not need to know about. He said, "that's how references are done."  Baloney! If men have to backchannel then it should be about if a lady is nice, is good in the sack, and most of that information you can see on TER reviews. Otherwise, why have the reviews? Nothing about where she lives (except maybe to say the northwest region of San Antonio or downtown Scottsdale), or where she is staying in a hotel, etc. That's what phones and emails to us is about. It's no one else's business.

Personally, I'd like to know the men who backchannel about the unnecessary things, because I don't want to see those men. They are "not gentlemen and not discreet." A lot of us try to avoid these types of men, and SHAME on providers who do this, too. Talk about dangerous and lack of class. If someone else gives out personal information that we (providers) would be crucified for on the boards for publicizing, then guess what? It should apply to men, too. Those men need to be named on a public board, and I know the majority of other providers would agree with me. We are getting tired of it. Why do you think we have a Provider Board (although I don't look at it very often)? So providers can vent about stupid, unnecessary stuff like this.

If we blur our faces (which obviously means we don't want the civie world to know what we do) and tell men not to mention our locations or anything about our apartments, hotels or houses in reviews, then why would we want it spread to men (or other providers) that we don't even know and may not want to meet? We don't! That's what I'm talking about.

Geez! I don't mean to sound mean guys, but this is a serious wake-up call for some of you. I guess there are "some" -- only some -- of you that truly believe it's okay to do these things that are extremely dangerous, inconsiderate and stupid? I don't care if you think your TER buddies are harmless -- and are you even friends with these guys -- I don't want my information spread to other people I do not know without my permission. One guy tells another guy who tells a provider who tells another provider. Yes, it happens. You can't trust anyone.

Why? I've had two providers within the past two months (three this year) whom have called me to tell me/warn me of gentlemen who told them my location. NOT COOL GUYS, NOT AT ALL! The is a definite breach of confidentiality. I only know two providers that have been to my place and I don't want anyone else knowing where I do business. What if I told other people where you guys worked or lived and other personal information about you? This makes me realize that we (providers) need to start blacklisting men who are careless like this. That's ridiculous, frightening and totally unacceptable. You have no idea how many vindictive women out there turn other providers in, and believe me I know of a few who do this. They're disgusting! I don't care if you think the provider you see is a saint. Guess what? She may not be. Yes, I'm pissed off, feeling raped of my privacy, and with good reason!

Not so giving of Hugs today,
Ciara





















-- Modified on 9/10/2008 3:14:40 PM

SOS = Stuck On Stupid

Sometimes people just don't think trough the consequences of what they do. I must admit, while I didn’t do anything nearly as bad or as potentially dangerous as the transgressions you’ve listed, I did do something very inconsiderate to a provider I consider a friend. I’ll leave out the details - mainly because it was just between the two of us (and it was all my fault) - but after I committed my email mistake, it took a couple of hours for the big head to regain control over what the little head was making the brain think. It was only then that it hit me what I had done. Fortunately, the lady has given me the chance to mend the fences. At least what I had done was not dangerous to anyone’s health or safety. I only relate that to say that it is so easy sometimes to get caught up in the moment and not REALLY think through what we are doing. But I have learned my lesson, and will not repeat the mistake. We can only hope that the readers of your posts will get the messages and wisdom your imparting and try and amend their ways. We are never too old or too experienced a hobbyist to learn

So hang in there, keep your hugs for yourself for now, and I hope this string of unfortunate events gets broken by some good old common sense.


Hugs from the East Coast,

C_K