: TER General Board Discussion : So Fortunate..

Udo 1404 reads

posted 13 years ago

1 / 22

I grew up in the late 70s and early 80s. My mother was a stay at home mom and my dad made enough money to keep her at home with the three kids of which I was the youngest. My brother is 12 years older than me.

I really think that married couples today have more mutual repsect for one another than when I grew up. It seems like divorce rates should be on the decline actually with more parity in the relationshiop.

My mother and father constantly fought like cats and dogs. My mother would constantly say horribles things to my father about how her former boyfriend "Joe" made more money and could have given my mother a better life than my dad. My mother constantly told my dad that she had better looking boyfriends too that she could have married instead of my dad. Finally, my mother would say that her mother hated my dad and thought he was "crazy in the head" because of his eyes. Finally, my mother would always remind my dad that since he grew up poor on a Wisconsin dairy farm, he did not bring any money to the marriage at the time of the wedding. She said her family gave her the money for a down payment on the house.

My mother would continue saying that my dad was "no fucking good" even though he made good money and made sure my mother would not have to work. Fianlly, she would tell my dad that her sisters said my dad was no good of a man.

My dad finally reached his breaking point and threw plates or dishes on the ground. He would get so mad that he would break out windows in the house and then threw bottles at my mother to stop the bad tallking about him.

As I grew older, I realied that my mother never really loved my dad or considered him as her soulmate. She loved her sisters the most.

I think that there are fewer realtionships that are so ugly today since women have more options. My poor dad should have probably asked for a divorce but he did not believe in divorce.

Has anyone of this site grew up with parents that really did not love each other?

inicky46 61 Reviews 518 reads

posted 13 years ago

2 / 22

Your mom was right. Your dad was no fucking good.

And it explains a lot. I mean, look how her dirt-bag son turned out?

YouCantSeeMe 459 reads

posted 13 years ago

3 / 22

Yup - now they are so in love they follow each other around like lost ducks.

Mom was the one to throw plates, then leave for weeks at a time.

One day mom got 'stuck' watching us somewhere else. it was in a bare apartment in a city miles away with minimal furniture. Looking back on that I realize there is a high possibility she was in this business and not using it for school. She was a pretty lady. Both mom and dad had jobs, but they were still struggling. They were stressed. I know they worked hard.

From what I recall, mom yelled at dad all the time, dad defended himself, but never hit her. When she was gone, we got the brunt of his frustration. I was only a kid so I don't remember details on their fights. I only remember being in my room with sister and brother listening to screaming. As we got older it diminished.

When we grew up and visited, they seemed happier. One day, though, my dad left my mom out of the blue. I called my mom to ask her something and she had been crying. That's when I found out. They ended up getting back together because they were so tied financially. Went to counseling and I guess confessed everything. I've never seen a couple so in love. It's somewhat disgusting to watch, but it's my parents. What do you expect? A great story.

Liked your story but it really 'irked' me - I'll use Courtney's word of the day -

to hear the words you say your mother said to your dad. If only she knew what she had compared to many. Sounds like a spoiled brat to me, in no disrespect to you bro. IMHO a woman is there to encourage and support her man. And he should do the same. If she doesn't like that he doesn't make enough, GO OUT AND GET A FUCKING JOB!

Again, no disrespect to you or your mom bro, just the situation.

perfectstorm 19 Reviews 530 reads

posted 13 years ago

4 / 22

If there is any truth to his story above, I would say his mother is to blame

For how UDon't turned out.
No wonder he hates women and treats them like shit.

-- Modified on 10/1/2013 3:19:53 PM

datytodayie 442 reads

posted 13 years ago

5 / 22

youngest of nine

they were married 50+ years. that long together can go either way. "familiarity grows contempt". been married almost 30 years. if not for this hobby my head would have exploded.

Back_In_Black 487 reads

posted 13 years ago

6 / 22

your mothers problem was that she didnt do anything and

Didn't realize that raising a family and being a wife and mother was an important job . Also had she been more loving and supportive who knows what your could have done on top of what he did ! Also he didn't leave so I guess he loved you all ! Today they leave so it ain't better. Your mom has family issues ( her childhood )and people tend to take it out on the ones closest to them so that's why she did it to your dad . Her mom ? Probably a witch !

Posted By: Udo

I grew up in the late 70s and early 80s. My mother was a stay at home mom and my dad made enough money to keep her at home with the three kids of which I was the youngest. My brother is 12 years older than me.

I really think that married couples today have more mutual repsect for one another than when I grew up. It seems like divorce rates should be on the decline actually with more parity in the relationshiop.

My mother and father constantly fought like cats and dogs. My mother would constantly say horribles things to my father about how her former boyfriend "Joe" made more money and could have given my mother a better life than my dad. My mother constantly told my dad that she had better looking boyfriends too that she could have married instead of my dad. Finally, my mother would say that her mother hated my dad and thought he was "crazy in the head" because of his eyes. Finally, my mother would always remind my dad that since he grew up poor on a Wisconsin dairy farm, he did not bring any money to the marriage at the time of the wedding. She said her family gave her the money for a down payment on the house.

My mother would continue saying that my dad was "no fucking good" even though he made good money and made sure my mother would not have to work. Fianlly, she would tell my dad that her sisters said my dad was no good of a man.

My dad finally reached his breaking point and threw plates or dishes on the ground. He would get so mad that he would break out windows in the house and then threw bottles at my mother to stop the bad tallking about him.

As I grew older, I realied that my mother never really loved my dad or considered him as her soulmate. She loved her sisters the most.

I think that there are fewer realtionships that are so ugly today since women have more options. My poor dad should have probably asked for a divorce but he did not believe in divorce.

Has anyone of this site grew up with parents that really did not love each other?

AlexandraMilw See my TER Reviews 453 reads

posted 13 years ago

7 / 22

I believe if you want to do better

in life, then do it. Complaining does nothing but keep a person where they are at. Marriage should be about love and supporting/encouraging one another.

Both my parents worked hard and they did love each other. Ended in divorce for certain reasons that I understand.

You are a byproduct of WI? Ugh :P Seriously hearing that your dad grew up on a farm, it might not be glamorous or a money maker... but I am sure that he learned a lot about hard work and that says a lot about him. Lazy people rarely make it working on a farm.

Don't let their bitterness hold you down. Just take life's experiences and allow it to make you a better person. Maybe ship your kid to the farm so he can learn a thing or two.

Posted By: Udo

I grew up in the late 70s and early 80s. My mother was a stay at home mom and my dad made enough money to keep her at home with the three kids of which I was the youngest. My brother is 12 years older than me.

I really think that married couples today have more mutual repsect for one another than when I grew up. It seems like divorce rates should be on the decline actually with more parity in the relationshiop.

My mother and father constantly fought like cats and dogs. My mother would constantly say horribles things to my father about how her former boyfriend "Joe" made more money and could have given my mother a better life than my dad. My mother constantly told my dad that she had better looking boyfriends too that she could have married instead of my dad. Finally, my mother would say that her mother hated my dad and thought he was "crazy in the head" because of his eyes. Finally, my mother would always remind my dad that since he grew up poor on a Wisconsin dairy farm, he did not bring any money to the marriage at the time of the wedding. She said her family gave her the money for a down payment on the house.

My mother would continue saying that my dad was "no fucking good" even though he made good money and made sure my mother would not have to work. Fianlly, she would tell my dad that her sisters said my dad was no good of a man.

My dad finally reached his breaking point and threw plates or dishes on the ground. He would get so mad that he would break out windows in the house and then threw bottles at my mother to stop the bad tallking about him.

As I grew older, I realied that my mother never really loved my dad or considered him as her soulmate. She loved her sisters the most.

I think that there are fewer realtionships that are so ugly today since women have more options. My poor dad should have probably asked for a divorce but he did not believe in divorce.

Has anyone of this site grew up with parents that really did not love each other?

Back_In_Black 370 reads

posted 13 years ago

8 / 22

Re: Yup - now they are so in love they follow each other around like lost ducks.

Your a dude ? I think I flirted with you , yuk !!!!!!!!! Oh I agree with you , hope your family u and siblings are good . Now I'm gonna take a shower with brillo pads !!!! L8r BRO !

Posted By: YouCantSeeMe

Mom was the one to throw plates, then leave for weeks at a time.

One day mom got 'stuck' watching us somewhere else. it was in a bare apartment in a city miles away with minimal furniture. Looking back on that I realize there is a high possibility she was in this business and not using it for school. She was a pretty lady. Both mom and dad had jobs, but they were still struggling. They were stressed. I know they worked hard.

From what I recall, mom yelled at dad all the time, dad defended himself, but never hit her. When she was gone, we got the brunt of his frustration. I was only a kid so I don't remember details on their fights. I only remember being in my room with sister and brother listening to screaming. As we got older it diminished.

When we grew up and visited, they seemed happier. One day, though, my dad left my mom out of the blue. I called my mom to ask her something and she had been crying. That's when I found out. They ended up getting back together because they were so tied financially. Went to counseling and I guess confessed everything. I've never seen a couple so in love. It's somewhat disgusting to watch, but it's my parents. What do you expect? A great story.

Liked your story but it really 'irked' me - I'll use Courtney's word of the day -

to hear the words you say your mother said to your dad. If only she knew what she had compared to many. Sounds like a spoiled brat to me, in no disrespect to you bro. IMHO a woman is there to encourage and support her man. And he should do the same. If she doesn't like that he doesn't make enough, GO OUT AND GET A FUCKING JOB!

Again, no disrespect to you or your mom bro, just the situation.

AnotherPerspective 467 reads

posted 13 years ago

9 / 22

My parents never argued , family was everything

If my parents argued they whispered . It would have been hard for them to argue with all the people
staying at our home .
There were always other family members living with us , a few Uncles , usually a dozen cousins . .

We were on our Yacht in Porto Cervo having a Sunset toast when my Dad asks if I ever wonder what the trash back home are doing for fun . I said that's easy , most of them are yelling at each other , breaking furniture , windows and dishes .

Posted By: Udo

I grew up in the late 70s and early 80s. My mother was a stay at home mom and my dad made enough money to keep her at home with the three kids of which I was the youngest. My brother is 12 years older than me.

I really think that married couples today have more mutual repsect for one another than when I grew up. It seems like divorce rates should be on the decline actually with more parity in the relationshiop.

My mother and father constantly fought like cats and dogs. My mother would constantly say horribles things to my father about how her former boyfriend "Joe" made more money and could have given my mother a better life than my dad. My mother constantly told my dad that she had better looking boyfriends too that she could have married instead of my dad. Finally, my mother would say that her mother hated my dad and thought he was "crazy in the head" because of his eyes. Finally, my mother would always remind my dad that since he grew up poor on a Wisconsin dairy farm, he did not bring any money to the marriage at the time of the wedding. She said her family gave her the money for a down payment on the house.

My mother would continue saying that my dad was "no fucking good" even though he made good money and made sure my mother would not have to work. Fianlly, she would tell my dad that her sisters said my dad was no good of a man.

My dad finally reached his breaking point and threw plates or dishes on the ground. He would get so mad that he would break out windows in the house and then threw bottles at my mother to stop the bad tallking about him.

As I grew older, I realied that my mother never really loved my dad or considered him as her soulmate. She loved her sisters the most.

I think that there are fewer realtionships that are so ugly today since women have more options. My poor dad should have probably asked for a divorce but he did not believe in divorce.

Has anyone of this site grew up with parents that really did not love each other?

Back_In_Black 448 reads

posted 13 years ago

10 / 22

Re: didn't you say you were German? / 42.6% r german . eom

Posted By: RodTidweLL

Now you're from Wisconsin hmmm... Cmon Udo!!!

skylersky1 See my TER Reviews 427 reads

posted 13 years ago

11 / 22

I'm so sorry you had to grow up hearing such aweful

things being said about your dad. That's abusive behavior (usually ppl who are hurting inside abuse) No matter anything about your dad, when your a child & impressionable no one should ever say anything negative about your parents. Your dad oviously was a good man to stay & with all that negativity going on, you might not have noticed the loving things your mother might have done for your dad, maybe little flirting eyes, an awesome bj on his b-day, etc...(but she might not have ever done those things but he married for some reason, so their must have been some kind of love there to start with).
Your mom probably was withholding sex frm your dad to get her way or somthing she wanted & your dad probably wudn't fall for it & kiss her ass which in turn made her mad so she would try to make him jealous by talkin bout who she could have had.
I dnt think that ppl really fall out of love, I think that ppl feel vulnerable at times & are sensitive (especially women around pms time) & at those times their partner hurts them, maybe says the wrong thing or doesn't do something, so the other person pulls back emotionally a little bit more each time they feel hurt until they've pulled back so much that they can't feel the love anymore.....

Posted By: Udo

I grew up in the late 70s and early 80s. My mother was a stay at home mom and my dad made enough money to keep her at home with the three kids of which I was the youngest. My brother is 12 years older than me.

I really think that married couples today have more mutual repsect for one another than when I grew up. It seems like divorce rates should be on the decline actually with more parity in the relationshiop.

My mother and father constantly fought like cats and dogs. My mother would constantly say horribles things to my father about how her former boyfriend "Joe" made more money and could have given my mother a better life than my dad. My mother constantly told my dad that she had better looking boyfriends too that she could have married instead of my dad. Finally, my mother would say that her mother hated my dad and thought he was "crazy in the head" because of his eyes. Finally, my mother would always remind my dad that since he grew up poor on a Wisconsin dairy farm, he did not bring any money to the marriage at the time of the wedding. She said her family gave her the money for a down payment on the house.

My mother would continue saying that my dad was "no fucking good" even though he made good money and made sure my mother would not have to work. Fianlly, she would tell my dad that her sisters said my dad was no good of a man.

My dad finally reached his breaking point and threw plates or dishes on the ground. He would get so mad that he would break out windows in the house and then threw bottles at my mother to stop the bad tallking about him.

As I grew older, I realied that my mother never really loved my dad or considered him as her soulmate. She loved her sisters the most.

I think that there are fewer realtionships that are so ugly today since women have more options. My poor dad should have probably asked for a divorce but he did not believe in divorce.

Has anyone of this site grew up with parents that really did not love each other?

perfectstorm 19 Reviews 380 reads

posted 13 years ago

12 / 22

He said he was German. He never said he was from Germany!

You think there's no Germans in Wisconsin?

YouCantSeeMe 447 reads

posted 13 years ago

13 / 22

Dude- get off me.

I think I've played a hooker on here before. I du whud I want.

Now come here you big bear.

case321 31 Reviews 427 reads

posted 13 years ago

14 / 22

What the fuck this isn't Doctor Phil!! - e-

END OF MESSAGE

inicky46 61 Reviews 376 reads

posted 13 years ago

15 / 22

Dear Skyler: Udo is a troll

Probably the most notorious troll on this board (matched only by Ridgetucky). Thus, his OP was simply one more fantasy, designed to provoke responses.
Thanks for playing! LOL!

HaveAGoodTime 389 reads

posted 13 years ago

16 / 22

Ha!

To paraphrase the immortal Chris Rock: "you wanna know the real reason why your wife is always mad at you? Because you were not her first choice!"

BizzaroSuperdude 30 Reviews 431 reads

posted 13 years ago

17 / 22

Sadly, that is to some degree a pretty good description of my marriage.

Never went physical, but to this day my ex bad mouthed me to my kids.... she also bad mouths her other ex to his kids. she recently went through a really bad situation - which resulted in some changes, and which I had to speak to her about, but through that I fianlly told her - don't talk bad about me to my kids... she didn't deny it.

Hug your dad, buy him a cup of coffee.... my kid bought me an exercise t-shirt recently - means the world to me. By the same token though, be good to your mom, but when she talks about your dad in a demeaning manner, leave the room. when left with only their bitterness as a companion, most folks calm down a bit. My prayers are with you and your family.

sitaradevi See my TER Reviews 358 reads

posted 13 years ago

18 / 22

So Fortunate..

Reading this post made me realize how fortunate I was and still am. Loving, smart and educated parents..they have always been each others biggest fans and supportive of one another. I wonder if my upbringing is the norm..or unusual or perhaps its due to my cultural background? In any case, it is so important for young people to be raised in a home of love and care and so few children have this these days.
--Sitara