I decided I was going to try the overnighter Greyhound bus from SF to LA. Not zippy, but relaxing, and has considerably more leg room than an airplane. My buscapade consists of a seriously, whiny child to my direct left, a couple of nefarious sisters, a brother with his walkman, a cranky clueless older couple, and a strange cowboy in the back. A dude is catching flies behind me, sawing wood masterfully. I love the view though. All this farmland is intoxicating! I like the old farmhouses, and rolling hills. San Jose had a wierd antipasto salad, Gilroy looked different than what I remeber as a travelling child.

What really strikes me is how much some of these smaller towns look so similar, tract malls, gas stations, fast food, and liquor stores. I wonder if providers are pretty much the same as well, or if there are pockets of certain types. I bet there are a lot of places that are completely providerless. I wonder if providers menus change depending on location. I know that when I was a stripper, there was always a wonderful assortment of women: different ages and ethnicities. Also the customers were different as well. Europeans didn't know to tip, and some of the Japanses tourists wanted to take pictures in the club! Persian guys would come in and do business on the phone while they kept slipping dollars down. Black guys always tipped well, and seemed very attentive, always smiling from ear to ear. Frat boys and bachelor parties sucked. I liked the older gentlemen, they were so shy and lonely. They would gasp at just a little thigh. So cute.

Michelle, please answer this question for me: Why are strippers almost always hostile towards men?  Seriously, it's almost universal among them, much more so than among high end providers.  What's up with that?

-- Modified on 4/13/2004 9:53:54 AM

Its complicated, but simple. I think they think they are untouchable, and they try so hard to keep everything that could hurt them at a distance. They have to deal with so much rejection it wears down their self esteem, so when a man, or for that matter any man expresses interest they just think they are scum because the man will inevitably say something that means nothing, or try to get something for nothing. One of the most popular sayings was: proove it. Action, not words. You want me to have a better life? Give me money. You think I'm brilliant and sexy? Give me money. A lot of the girls just zone out when guys talk to them. Part of that is exhaustion, working in the dark, the neon lights and the drugs. I had an OK time, I am having a much better time now! Part of that has to do with me, and how I have changed. I am glad I did it, and I learned a lot about myself, my sexuality and my power as a woman. That was invaluable to me, still is. I learned how to be the center of attention, and how to dance the dance of the veils, to transform myself into what I wnted to be, and forget who I was. For 3 minutes and two dollars, I was his fantasy and I was mine.

-- Modified on 4/12/2004 9:35:08 PM

"Don't give me just empty praise that you probably don't really mean, and that I'm not even sure I deserve - give me money, because I know at least that money is something that is definitely real - it pays my bills and that makes it pretty damn real".

Yes, I think that's a big part of it.

Thanks for the enlightenment.

What "they, others, civvies think?"

Strippers are bad, but prostitutes are worse. An exotic dancer and a provider/call girl are both glamourous. A g-stringed piece of tits and ass and a whore are the dregs, perhaps worse than thieves.

When I stripped I sometimes felt such defilement. I had men throw dollar coins and balled up money at my ass. They would try and grab me and stick their fingers in me. They were always trying to ask me out. As a prostitute I have felt adoration and appreciation. I have met some of the most attractive, funny, and interesting men and women. I have had the best sex in my life.

Society views prostitutes as fallen women and strippers as struggling college girls or drug addicts. You can marry a stripper, but not a whore. As a whore I am so much happier than I ever was as a stripper. I can finally finance my true avocations. I get to travel and set my own hours. I work for myself. I work hard, but I hve always worked hard. As a stripper I told myself I would just do it for one year, until I was done with college. Now I am having some of the best fun I've had in years.

-- Modified on 4/12/2004 10:16:05 PM

are deprive of.

--- Karl Marx

-- Modified on 4/13/2004 6:51:17 AM

Interesting that, as you point out, strippers are seen as struggling college girls or drug addicts.  In other words, people to be pitied because they are struggling.

But a high-end prostitute, who is financially independent, and can set her own hours and live her life as she pleases, is different.  This is a woman who is using her sexual power to empower herself, and that is what our screwed up society has such a problem with.  And so they resent and disrespect prostitutes, because it is threatening to them.

Very interesting exchange, Michelle.  Gotta go to bed now (as a salary-slave, I don't get to set my own hours, LOL).  Have a good bus ride, and sweet dreams.

It's grat you're having fun and enjoying the sex, and i believe you when you say that. But that's a pretty strange view of the world you ascribe to others...do you really believe that, or is it just a rationalization of your current lifestyle? I don't want to be rude, but it sounds like your'e telling the truth when you talk about yourself, and making it up to suit your purposes when you talk about other people.

Maybe I've been in the business of analysing people too long, but after 30 years of this, I'm usually rather good at picking it out.

"As a whore, I am so much happier than I ever was as a stripper."

A whore?  Ha...you can't fool me.  You are nothing short of the devil herself.

NM, What a beautiful set of posts. The literary tone is masterful and the shared insights are warm, moving and not the least bit maudlin [sp?] or mawkish. I always enjoy your posts, but these are exquisite[sp again?]. I have been told several times by providers that they would [or did] find strip dancing demeaning and infinitely more difficult emotionally. Thanks again for the writing.

eom.

-- Modified on 4/13/2004 12:48:28 AM

You've hooked me... for reading I mean.  It reads like a part of a great book that needs writing, but one which publishers won't print, not in this social environment anyway.  I might have more to say, but I wish I hadn't found your post at three in the morning, I'm having sleep-stammers, now...

Perhaps I can reach for a deeper thought after I sleep.

/Zin

Its a riot. I am convinced that half of the bus are convicted felons/pathological liars and the other half think the www is the devil and/or are terrified of flying. My new passenger direct left is a former stuntman, crippled from a motorcycle accident. With stinky breath he asks me first what I do, later if I am a dancer "er sumthin" and then he asks if that is a tattoo. I tell him politely that I am a bohemian, and I let my niece get a little carried away with my henna tattoo kit. Dude's sharp. Or I really stick out. Hmf. I need a better disguise. Chicken suit.

The nefarious sisters have been replaced by three huge Samoans with matching fros. They look related somehow. There is this hyper inquistive new kid that keep looking at me. I stick out my tongue. Freaks him out. Someone has sleep apnea. Another mumbles in his sleep. Its a slumber party, but nobody's drinking. I shoulda smuggled something, it could have been fun. Mile high club in the Greyhound bus seems out of the question. Bummer.

-- Modified on 4/13/2004 2:16:42 AM

You are probably right on the money. We all look at the world outside of ourselves not with 20/20 vision. We believe what we want to believe so that it makes us more comfortable and numb. I could never possibly know what other people think, but I can elaborate on stereotypes and connect the dots in my mind, and fashion an image in my mind. We all do that, its human nature.

... I wonder if you thought of the song while you rode.  I occasiionally use buses for similar reasons and it often occurs to me...

Michelle,
  With your experiences and your unique perception of the adult entertainment world as well as the world in general it would not surprise me to see you signing books at Barns & Noble some day.

  FR.  

-- Modified on 4/13/2004 8:21:58 AM

Dayuum Girl! I had to read the whole thread. I loved the lyricism in you narration of life on the "black airline". It reminded me of Tom Robbins. Keep writing. It could almost be better than sex. (naaaw)

Michelle, very interesting reading.  You have provided an interesting look at the adult entertainment biz.  As someone else posted, this could be a best seller.  Need an agent?  You and Sedona are my two favorite posters.

Am thinking you would like this book...

http://tinyurl.com/2y29r