What are the two things that you have encountered in the hobby that in your opinion don’t mix well? It’s supposed to be a funny thread so try to keep it positive.  

... DATY, BJ, or (especially) DATO on the had-beans.  

hobbyist with intense cat hair allergies showing up at cat lover's incall without any advance notice. difficult to have great session under those conditions....especially without letting on that your "beautiful baby" is making me deathly sick!!

and that goes double for my date.  
I've several good dates go bad on account of demon rum.  

Liquor is not an aphrodisiac. It is the opposite, especially, if you consume too much.

Yep, for me too.
I have a severe allergy to alcohol and other mood or mind altering substances.  
I break out in hand cuffs!

So gross

Testicles and hot wax.

I'll pass...

By way of explanation, after we got in the room, she explained that she had to stop at the local hospital on the way to get a boil on her ass lanced. She proceeded to show me, just like Christ and doubting Thomas and the spear wound.  
My contribution to this discussion:  doggie and seeping bandage do not go together .

That's just 8 shades wrong and in fact, should be against the law.

I agree , a man can wear anything but hate those flip flops too

If he's wearing flip flops then he must be Jesus. lol

Nah, that was awesome . Well it was the last time I had that pleasure.
Now testicles and clothes pins are not my thing.

Worse yet, sandals and socks.  

DFK and A2M
DFK and CIM
...especially from the previous gentleman.

Having lunch in a hotel lobby bar with your ATF as the Police come charging into the lobby past the front desk on their way upstairs..

...hot intense uncovered internal cumshot.....3 months later,official DNA confirmation....

She asked for me to show up a half hour later. No problem, walked in an she offered me a glass of wineI Was there just for a sensual massage.  Both naked, sipping wine and massaging each other's feet, she feel asleep. She fell asleep twice for a total of about 30 minutes. I found it kind of funny.   After she woke up, she splashed her face with some water and sipped a lil more wine.  Then she started looking in her purse for something. Out pops a condom. I wasn't expecting that. Then I kid you not she said, " I'm very horny and church is open if you want to come through the doors.  Who was I to say no.  On second thought, maybe that wasn't a bad combo.

He's never going to get airborne with that rig.  

.... string. Then in one pull, they'd all fly off.

Also real story - massage provider initiating happy ending and her husband coming home unexpectedly for lunch

It takes a few weeks to confirm pregnancy. The real nitty gritty will be when you are told "to the accuracy of 99.99%" lol. Then you can faint.

And you didn't post that in the "providers judging you thread"?

You don't think that doesn't happen all the time?  That's so cute. I bet 90% that CIM and swallow don't brush or rinse with mouthwash after. I would say 99.9% don't brush or mouthwash if you don't see some Scope in the bathroom.

and the occasion of course.

Sandals and socks actually make sense for someone whose feet sweat a lot.  

Preferred footwear here. Except we call them slippahs

Obviously I am not but I heard it is beautiful. I am in the Sunshine State, also beautiful and hot!

Oh damn!