My ATF comes in from a distance. She asked me over the weekend if I could do 5:00P on Wednesday to accommodate her schedule when she was in town. I told her 4:30P would be better; she agreed to that and all was well.

sometimes, second guess ourselves like this?  The facts speak for themselves.  You were right and she was wrong.

You should march yourself right down there pay her her donation IN FULL, plus a 30% tip and beg for her forgiveness.  

Eom

Familiarity breeds contempt.  Boy oh boy did she just proved that old axiom

And radio silence. She's alittle thin skinned about this. So shrugged your shoulders and move on.  It's no biggie...

-- Modified on 4/14/2016 8:57:42 AM

It's called transference.  
She's transferring her bad behavior to you so she feels better  
And I just agreed with Ga...am I going straight to hell now???? 😆

is when people don't respect your time.  They may be cavalier with their own schedules, but please don't fuck with mine.  Time is money.  She didn't care enough to plan enough travel time so that she could meet you at the appointed hour, and didn't think much about how it would affect you.  So the hell with her.  

give it a couple of days and then send a friendly text. It's ultimately her fault if u had to wait for a whole hour. So she should have been more understanding since u were pretty good about it.

Are u gonna tell me that in professional life, flights are never late and Uve never missed an appt or been a few min late? Seriously doubt it. Besides when clients - providers attain an ATF status, the rules start being bent a little bit. It's important for both parties to keep their cool and work things out.

but I am sure when you get there it will be listed as a contributing factor. lol

It would be punctuality, and especially if a provider is late without communicating with me.

LOL
I can hear St Peter now" no, sorry, Ga's table is full with a ten million provider waiting list"

Power of the Pussy. Ladies consistently overplay their hand. Funny to observe as there is a ton of pussy available to us guys. You don't have to put up with this kind of treatment, especially from an ATF. There are plenty of ladies that don't do business this way. If I were you I would find one.

First, providers wish to be considered professionals, I consider them to be, and so they should act as professionals in any other environment would.

HE is her client not vice versa. SHE should be sending him a friendly text. He should be giving her silence until she communicates with him.

when it comes to mutual respect of time between providers and their customers.  Many providers expect clients to be on time or never cancel, and if they do, they have to pay anyway, while the provider can be late, no show, etc., and if you don't just reschedule or wait around, they get pissed.  Some(Heather Harlow is a recent example, but there are many other established pro's) will give you extra time on a reschedule if the appointment doesn't go off as scheduled through any fault of her being late.  If more providers ran their business that way, these kinds of situations would be rare.  Who wouldn't accept an extra half, or full hour, for free on a reschedule to make up for the inconvenience of her not being there?  It certainly calms me down.

Youre totally right. I couldn't agree with you more. He sounds like he's a very understanding person and he wanted to figure how he could have handled the situation better. I was merely suggesting how to patch things up from his end. Sounds like she wasn't understanding enough of his troubles. But you're right on this one.  

Also respect should be shown on both sides.
Some providers are great, very flexible with time and rare cancellations.

Some of us actually do approach this as a profession.  

You say this woman is your ATF?  That implies, to me, that you have developed some chemistry and you have a sense of her personality.  Maybe I'm an oddity, but the main reason my atf and I click is because our personalities match.  If your atf is someone that flies off the handle, then did you not see this coming?  

It's because they don't care. There is no way in Hell I'd ever book with her again.

Maybe im unique but...

She told you she got a late start AND the other client who was fucking her during your time ran late. It wasn't her fault! So why are you acting all but hurt? She did ask for 5 pm at first, but you insisted on 430  so technically it's really all your fault. She said she could see you at 535 and that's only a few minutes past her original 5 pm time anyway so you're just being difficult. OMG!

Is this a sarcastic post? Did she not agree to 430? Did she let him know ahead of time she was late? Is he supposed to just know that and wait around for an hour and a half? If you can explain to me how this guy, being as polite as he is, is being MORE difficult than it is to SEND A SHORT TEXT SAYING YOU ARE LATE ill eat my shoe.

We would be accused of wasting her time and  blocked from seeing her in the future.
The respect factor should, work both ways!
 

It seems as though the "ATF" moniker is only lamented in his admiration of her.  She should return his treatment by at least giving him a courtesy text or call.  Providers aren't the only ones with lives.  As he has stated he took off work early to meet, in the real world that means time in which money isn't being made.  Professionalism goes both ways.

boy i have to agree esp. if the guy was a regular, he deserves your 1000%, and not an "acting character."  i'm with green sea, if i was your client and a regular, i would have preferred if you contacted me and postponed, to a time when you felt better.

Criticism always stings, even when deserved.  

I mean, how many times have you not felt like going to work? Even if you like your job, sometimes, you'd just rather be doing something else... spending time with your family, reading, sleeping, relaxing, exercising...  

over an hour late and offered no communication whatsoever so that he could adjust his schedule and not mess up his RL.

430 was agreed. When she knew the deal was off, she shoulda told ya. 15 mins late is understandable. Over an hr late, with no contact? Something is wrong. You did the right thing.

I think you misunderstood my post.

If you would have just left off the " I just wish you'd have sent me even a small message when you knew that you'd be running late. Then I wouldn't have left work, and been waiting around for an hour." part, you wouldn't be asking the question. All the other responses were justified: I tell her "I'm already heading home. It's ok. Things happen. I'm okay that things didn't work out." But then you had to scold her. I guess you've never been married.

-- Modified on 4/14/2016 7:15:12 PM

He got my 1000% as a PROFESSIONAL "acting character", which is exactly what he's paying for. And what he wants.

Emphasis on experience. You can pay someone to act like your girlfriend, or make you feel like she as a girlfriend might. But you can't pay her to FEEL like she's your girlfriend. And you definitely can't pay her to want to be your girlfriend.

You know... after reading this response i think i get it. But im not talking about a night where you would rather be at home relaxing or whatever because thats every night. If i could get outcalls to my living room i would lol. But in your post earlier you said "I had an appointment yesterday, and MAJORLY didn't feel like doing it." This is what i was talking about. This to me seems like a situation where i, as a client, wouldnt be bothered and would even prefer it if you postponed.

I totally agree.

I do have a few (luckily not many) clients I can barely tolerate.  

I don't thnk you were terribly out of line.  Maybe you tone pushed her buttons, not to mention loss of income...  
It's unclear from your time line...  YOU were there on time & hopefully waited a reasonable time.  Everyone has a dfferent tolerance for wait time...  I'd definately wait 15 minutes...  for an ATF I'd probably hang around for 30.  Which would have been 5 o'clock.  The problem is, her running late now means your schedule is blown up & can no longer be where you need to be.  Could you start your 'date' an hour late & then cover up the time you were supposed to be someplace else...  now you are 2 hours late getting home.  WTF?  

Steph, just wondering if you were ever in this situation, because things do happen, would you have been concerned that he was wondering were you where and give him a call?  At this point, if he was an ATF which for all intents and purposes the crux of the business, she would at least say I will be later than expected and then say what would he like to do as far as rescheduling.  This is critical because as much as providers don't like lack of communication when running late, that is ditto for hobbyist who are expecting to meet providers for an outcall. Especially when they have to interrupt there real life for the hobby.

I agree also.  My time is too valuable also.  Posted about my experience with this issue about a year ago.  In that case, provider just had a total disconnect when it came to the seriousness of being punctual.  Later found out that is her MO.  Regardless I had to move on without ever looking back.  No regrets.  I have no patience for those who disrespect my time.

even better I wouldn't have someone scheduled before that close to someone who considered me his ATF.

Many years ago I decided to try snowboarding.  It turned into a snowtastrophre and I took a mean spill.  I went to see my pcp the next morning because I was in severe pain.  He called cvs for me and got me some pain meds.  I took one when I got home and shortly thereafter fell asleep.  Slept right through my date.  Technically this was indeed my fault.  I explained the situation to my friend the next day.  Mind you this was our debut.  No harm,  no foul. To this day I see him every week.  Every once in a while he reminds me of the day I decided to take pain meds and settle in for a nap. If you consider her your atf why not just let this one go?   She fucked up and she knows she did.  She's picking up what you're laying down this I assure you of. The last person that was perfect they dragged through the streets and hung on a cross....I think we need to lower the bar just a smidge and give her a pass.  Happy humping!  💋

I'm betting she knows she's his ATF and she's from out of town so he'd wait around and see her anyway.

Call it what you want but she blew the appointment...your reaction was way more kind and understanding than the situation required...it's?on her to make it right...

Yes, she knows she is my ATF. I'm not saying this incident will ruin anything. My response to her was just a suggestion of how this could be handled in the future. In simplistic terms:

And 5:35 is 35 minutes past 5:00 not a "few" minutes".

-- Modified on 4/14/2016 1:53:07 PM

...the OP just made an honest comment in his reply to her apology.  She was apologizing for BEING late.  He was commenting on the fact that she didn't TELL him she was late.  He simply made a statement concerning her apology.  Simply put -- we all know that "life happens" and even ATFs run late...but it is disrespectful and unprofessional to not clarify that life is happening as soon as it is recognized.

I'm trying to imagine how this would have gone down if had happened with my ATF. Not much chance of it happening, because she's very professional. But mistakes happen, and one time she did mess up on the start time of a date, so...

...he's asking if he reasonably did anything to make her mad.  I agree with Erin that I hope future humping works out, but that's not the question the OP asked -- he want to know if he screwed up, and the answer is "no, she did".

I think everyone agrees she had culpability at not calling when she knew she'd be late.  But when dealing with people, what is the right thing and what is the wrong thing?  It depends what you want the future to be.  People aren't always particularly rational, and can be excessively emotional.  If you've dated or been married, you know full well that a well reasoned statement can result in a lot of blow back.

I schedule things and plan my day, if a gentleman is late he better communicate with me or else he will be at that parking lot waiting for nothing  cus I won't talk to him,if he's late taking up my time that I could be doing something else.

If she got in late, as she said, then she knew was before she even met her first appointment that she was running late. She had hours to send a quick message.

Thats where you went wrong....you Assumed that she has Professional Courtesy.

Nooooo, do you think?

that's the easiest  most black and white answer.  She done went and pulled a full retard.  Go ahead and blast me for being non pc.

i know i'm unusual in the world but i don't have a job i hate going to.  i have a career that i love.  i've created a life where i don't have to go 5 days a week to a cubicle and suck my soul dry.

No one took me a bit seriously when I made my post. EVERYBODY knew I was being sarcastic and quite a few people got a nice chuckle out of it. Just like in comedy, when you have to explain it, it's no longer funny.

oh good. I was hoping the sarchasm wouldn't be completely wasted ...

no one ever takes you seriously ...

An expression of relief that she's ok.  

but  even the most obtuse seem to get it when I am joking. Or I suppose no one would even dream I could be THAT stupid. You seem to be more believable in that regard I suppose.