... for $xxx.37 on my BofA account (the amount was more than $500 but note the .37 cents). She got a hold of my credit card statement but just doesn't know how to read it. It's a payment on my bestbuy credit card. The kicker is she said: "how do I know you didn't take that amount out from the teller?" (i didn't even know where to begin on answering that one.) That wasn't the only accusation. She also accused me of sleeping with Verizon and a woman from Montreal (whose phone number she didn't recognize on my phone bill) who is an aunt on my dad's side, whom she's actually met at dinner. My aunt was really taken aback when she got an angry call one evening from my slightly intoxicated wife. After listening to the cussing, my aunt replied: "honey, it's his aunt Mary (not her real name). you remember me from dinner? I came to your place last month." (My wife was mortified and hung up immediately then.) LMFAO. I'm actually retired here so it's funny if not for the reality... but in principle, I'd actually like to get some enjoyment from something before i'm actually blamed for it. -lil ODB

P.S. now, in my wife's defense, she's not that dense usually but she's been on the warpath looking for infidelity and she's being a bit crazy.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 12:56:34 PM

she just doesn't know it.

But can't put together the evidence. Sounds to me like you have an affirmative defense.

Your wife is just looking for a reason to jam. Sorry bub...or maybe congratulations. You pick. You can still deny the hobby, but since I'm a sick bastard, on her way out, I'd ask her for a roll for old times sake. Tell her you will give her 150 for 30 min...and not a penny more.

Some Divorce lawyes may tell her to spend everything on the cards.  Pre-empt her from getting the best highest paid attorney for which you may end up paying.  States vary, the lawyer bit seldom does.

Too bad demand for my class is heavy nationally, but not locally.

lol awesome responses

Clearly she knows what you are up to...

IF you want her, you can try  " Sex is only in the head, but love is the heart"
                                                                          John Holmes   lol
I tried it. It worked on an angry gf when she cooled down, though I wasn't hobbying.

she married a horndog, and he has gone astray, but clearly doesn't know how to put the pieces together.

I would love to have a wife like that. Keep her guessing. I would just get my jollies from that....

He has the same problem. He and his wife have a two year old kid.
Since the kid was born, his wife went into a tailspin of depression, and mistrust.
She will outburst if he talks to any woman. Last Christmas party she flipped out because he ordered a drink from the waitress. It's getting worse too. Yesterday she called the job literally 100 times.
He is lucky no one was there because of Black Friday. She could have put his job at risk.
Is it post baby depression?

guilty...just saying. When you use that word when questioned, we automatically know you're guilty and that is your only bs defense lol. It has been that way since the beginning of time.  You fk around and then she starts jumping to conclusions that may or may not have happened EXACTLY like she assumed, but she's not crazy. She is someone who found out what you are in fact doing, and now anything that seems even the slightest bit off, will cause her to react. It's called intuition, not insanity but men love to toss the "crazy" card when their lies are exposed.







-- Modified on 11/24/2012 2:27:21 PM

husband: You made $500 and 25 cents working as a hooker?  Who gave you the 25 cents?

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Wife: everyone

another good one.

What you describe is accurate. Guys who think their wives are crazy for being suspicious of their activities are rationalizing away reality. She knows you're up to something even if she can't solve the puzzle immediately.

LR, I'm gonna start calling you the Church Lady, lol.

as a followup on that, I found out she installed spy software on my laptop and cell phone using a USB key (which I found stashed in her gym bag) and iphone adaptor (also found and googled the name of it). I knew something had happened because I noticed she forgot to delete an email she sent herself from my yahoo account to her email with bank account information. My iphone has also started doing weird pauses  between functions. She checks the "find my iphone" constantly for my cell and texts me: "what are you doing there?" I also found the receipt and manual for a remote spycam.

I really am not hobbying these days at all guys or else she would have caught me by now. You'd say: maybe, you enjoy the constant surveillance. No, it's actually because my wife is smoking hot and is really good in bed when she gets angry maybe i went too far...

That is my worst nightmare...I would rather be caught in the act. Thank God I don't share the same cell provider as her.

She comes back to tell me she's gone
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed
As if I'd never noticed
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead

So she has a hunch or a feelimng, and she is right. So why talk about her like something is wrong with her. If that is how she feels, and she is actually right, then I do not blame her.

She's cheated obviously several times, but just the thought of him possibly cheating has center over the edge. She is crazy because she is hacked his phone, his computer,  screamed at his aunt, the Verizon operator, and blew a gasket over banking transactions that she didn't even understand. these are not the marks of a sane person.

But just because she is crazy that does not mean she doesn't have intuition. Sunshine dog's ass that kind of thing. It is entirely possible that the poster is over exaggerating, but if you take it at face value, she's crazy. Or at least has been driven so.

Ah forget it...see the new revised bs now lol. Gosh, how could one just forget to mention that in the original post I wonder? Didn't get the replies and sob story support you were looking for, so let us change it up a bit to put some blame on the wife..yea, that always gets the boys raising their fists. Gosh.

The woman is still not crazy...the guy IS CHEATING..wtf. Are you blind? Some of you need to look up the definition of crazy before you label people that for being nothing other than irrational or emotional for a moment in time..that is how most women are from our genetic makeup, not from insanity, but I digress. Much easier to label someone as crazy when you don't have the intelligence to figure out wtf is really up.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 7:53:04 PM

about 99.7% of this is true...but she is crazy. women are crazy by nature i think. not an insult, not meant as disrespectful....but women have the crazy gene, some just hide it better than others.  i actually like a crazy chick though, so, its whatever

Not always, my dear.  I used to call my ex crazy.  I'll admit it's a bad idea to use language like that, but she was and is pretty nuts, though I do still care deeply for her.  We are still friends, and sometimes she'll laugh and tell me, "you are so lucky you're no longer married to me!"  I tell her, "I know!  Every time you come over I'm so glad when you leave!"  She's cool enough to laugh when I say it.  Then we swap stories about our wild sex lives.
PS: It's true, I'm crazy, too, and don't mind admitting it.

say I was crazy. Now, an ex boyfriend...yep, because he was a lying, sociopath who was floored every damn time I called him out lol. Most men use that as their defense when women start questioning them for things that don't add up, and as soon as you do...we know you're guilty. Pulling the "crazy" card is just a cop out for not wanting to address the real issues about what you're being accused of, so you just say "Bitch, you be crazy" and some actually start believing you.

I am not saying women as a whole are not emotional and off at times, but that does not make us crazy. You try bleeding out of your vagina, suffering from water weight gain, acne, and then dealing with all the various hormones God gave us so our bodies can function and grow. That would drive anyone over the damn edge lol. All you boys have to worry about are jock itch and blue balls..big whoop!

To the logical male, emotional women are all fkin nuts...I get that, but don't use that in an argument about being unfaithful. Just trust me on that one. Once you call her crazy, she will make it her goal in life to prove you wrong, so you better be looking for those black helicopters next time you see a hooker lol.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 9:47:39 PM

I'm divorced again, and living proof that divorce is expensive because it's worth it.  Now, I'll admit I'm no "day at the beach" either.  But when I say she's nuckin' futz, well, I know what I know re meds, shrinks, etc.  And it has nothing to do with being accused of fucking around, either.  It's more fundatmental than that.  
Say, where the fuck is our friend CPA?

I will take the OP on face value. Quite possible he is full of shit...quite possible he isn't even talking about his own wife...quite possible the whole thing is made up...

But on face value...the woman described is bonkie at best. That's all I'm sayin'.

You will both be welcomed in Vegas in Jan. for AVN weekend.  And, yes, this is a hint.

and "life" is getting better for you. You deserve it babe.

Yes, it is.  Awgofuckyourself!  LMAO!  Hope to see you there.  CPA, too.

LR, your view is certainly fair. I'm glad you're being critical about the story.

Number one, it is my wife (lol not a friend's as someone said). These facts are true, but of course told in a way meant to be more entertaining. There's a super detailed divorce filing floating out from the first time around before I called it off for arbitration, and she was required, let's say, by the state to comply with certain restitution before she could even return home. I altered enough the identifiers that anyone is unlikely to find it. And of course you don't know what state to look in.

Number two, you don't have to believe me of course and it is interesting as a prisoner's dilemma kind of thing to debate what she should have done when she first felt insecure and thought I was cheating. i argue she should have asked me. But, as i might be attesting in court records very soon, I have not put my dick in anyone else during my marriage, short of the five girls SHE has brought home for threesomes including herr (basically once a year on my birthday). I was happy sexually with her (she was on the cover of playboy when she was younger). In addition, i'm trying really hard on my second marriage. Does that mean I'm a saint? No, I have like 30-50 TER reviews from before I married and I confessed that history before we married (it was when i was between marriages) and I have the usual super extensive porn library that I access (often with her) frequently.

You didn't ask but another relevant question: Is our sex life good? We do it 4 days a week, usually 1-2 times each time. She's made me come up to 10 times in a night- we counted. She gives head rivalling anyone here and she receives about an equal amount. Her orgasms are not subtle so I know she's enjoying herself. A different question is: does she feel loved? she felt it was perfect while we dated into the first two year but then she's felt my work has "changed me." If you think she is acting crazy (not saying you have too), then I believe it was partly post-baby depression contributing to that.

Your other point is even better: why did I release it in 2 parts? The first part  was just meant to be an entertaining vignette (while true) and it was cathartic for me because I AM upset by all this. I was surprised by the quality of the initial community's responses so I put out the other part as relevant background...so that I could hear feedback based on more of the real story, as I'm still deciding in real-time what to do. Did i want sympathy for my "sob story?"  Yes, in a significant sense, but I really wanted to know what others here think. I have been in this community since 2001, just lurking recently.

It sounds like you feel manipulated by the story, LR. Sorry, I haven't posted in a while so i'm a bit rusty.

I guess I just assumed you were full of shit. I guess you're not, but no matter. Why ask people on a fk board about your own personal marriage issues? We are not qualified therapists nor do we know you or your wife, much less what other issues you have had. This is either something to deal with amongst yourselves or with your Attorney. I always wonder why people feel the need to air their dirty laundry out on here, when hookers are not paid to mettle in your affairs, but if it gives you what you're looking for, so be it. She cheated on you, you cheated on her, and you both fked other people in your marriage together as a threesome deal. Sounds simple enough to me to figure out how things got so fked up.