I'm fairly new to the hobby, and I'm sure I handled this badly, but I'm not sure how I *should* have handled it...

I called to see a provider whom I had seen twice before, wonderful experience both times--I gave her a 9/9 TER rating--by calling her agency and setting up a 3-4 PM appt.

On her arrival, we began to play. About 15-20 minutes later, I went to grab a condom, and the problem started. I found I was out. "No problem," she said. "I have one." "Problem," I responded. "I have a latex allergy."

I asked her what she thought we should do. She said she could BBBJ to CIM. I said while that would be fine, if that's all the hour brought, I would hope she could offer a discount to a regular customer. She said the agency didn't allow that. I doubt this is true, as the agency simply takes a fee simple and the rest is hers. I then said--now it's about 3:30 PM--do you have a 4 o'clock appt.? She said "No." So I said, "How about you come back at 4PM. I'll have a non-Latex condom by then. [Walgreens is just 10 minutes away.] You need only spend another 20 or so minutes with me.  Would that work?" "She said that would be fine and she'd see me at 4 PM." She then asked for some water. I got a water bottle from the kitchen and on returning found her on her way out. I soon found the money was going with her. On catching up to her in the driveway, she confirmed that she had taken the money and that she'd be back at 4 PM.

Well, you can guess the rest. She never came back. I paid full rate for 20 minutes plus 10 of discussing the problem and no "satisfaction".

Fully my fault re not having the condoms, esp. given my latex allergy. I certainly intended on giving her a nice tip when she returned, as I had done on her prior visits. But I object to what was clearly a lie on her part, to a regular customer who had tipped well in the past and given her a great write up.

What SHOULD I have done? I considered calling the agency, but I knew the answering lady wouldn't be in a position to make a decision and in the time it would take to contact the owner/manager, my hour might well be up already. I had as a result of this encounter written a negative review, but chose after reflection not to publish it. Should a simple error on my part lead to just tossing $350 down the drain? I grant the money is "for time only with no implied services promised", but if I any of us got "time only" we wouldn't be repeating...

What would providers reading this do, assuming a regular customer who had treated them well in the past?

I would have taken the first deal, the BBBJ.  

But now what I would do now is call the agency, explain that it was all YOUR fault but that you negotiated for her to return and she didn't so can they provide a solution or discount for you with another provider.  And then keep a good supply of condoms on hand.

You didn't honestly think she was gonna come back did you? OK, I guess you did. First off, I would have taken the bbbj and chalked the appointment up to bad planning on my part. Secondly, I would have called the agency but honestly, I don't know how much sympathy you would have gotten from them.  The lady showed up ready to do her job. She may have gotten another call after she left you or she may have never intended to come back at all. One thing is for certain, two appointments don't buy you the undying loyalty of most providers or agencies.

I keep coming back to the simple fact that you are allergic to latex and you didn't have a usable condom in the room when your date arrived. Sorry but this is pretty much on you.

I agree with the previous responses, along with your realization that you handled it badly. She arrived ready to do her job, had condoms with her, tried to work around your bad planning and most likely got tired of the incessant dickering around. Nothing kills a moment like compulsive clock watching and asking for discounts. And past great sessions (i.e. you "treating her well") does not guarantee anything other than her willingness to see you again, which should not in any way be underestimated. -e

The only mistake she made was in agreeing to come back at all. If she is an agency girl, chances are that she does not have that much discretion with her time and schedule. An independent lady may have the ability to be more flexible with her time and schedule, but realistically, why should she agree to essentially a double session at no additional compensation simply because you failed to plan ahead?

Had it been me, I would have been extremely apologetic, but more than likely would not have agreed to return at all.

Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on her part, or obligate her to go beyond what is expected of her. Regarding the issue of an hour only buying you a BBBJCIM, believe it or not, that is all some men even want. It is ludicrous of you to have expected her to offer you a discount. Paritcularly given the fact that she is an agency provider. Chances are, the agency gets half of what her rate is. Expecting her to give you a discount would likely have meant that the hour she spent with you was either at no profit to herself at all, or for very little.

I'm sorry it worked out this way, and that you were disappointed, but the first error was on your part not hers. Your second error was in attempting to negotiate a discount, and/or additional time due to your poor planning. She was wrong though, to simply walk out, and wrong to promise something she had no intention of following through on.

In the future, plan better and make sure you are prepared. In the event that you once again find yourself without a non-latex condom, don't expect the lady to give you more time than she's been compensated for so that you can run to the nearest drug store, and don't expect a discount because you aren't getting everything you think you should be getting. Make the most of the hour that you do have instead.

Always be prepared; especially if you have a latex alergy.  IMO you should have taken the BBBJCIM she offered or maybe asked for Russian and been happy.  It was you who wasn't prepared.  I hope you didn't think she would say BBFS would be fine.

and hate this happened to you . If the agency has any respect at all they would make this right  for you ...


Also, this fella is right "I keep coming back to the simple fact that you are allergic to latex and you didn't have a usable condom in the room when your date arrived. Sorry but this is pretty much on you. "

Or you could have let the agency know ahead of time so that the lady could have made certain she brought what YOU needed to the appt .



-- Modified on 11/4/2007 5:41:59 PM

...nor the provider. Nothing to make right on their end. A person's personal health, well-being, and allergies to certain substances is their responsibility. -e

Well, let's see...

1) I would only schedule appointments with large breasted women who's reviews indicate that they provide Russian finishes, that way I would have had another option for "your problem".

2) If I was with your chick and Russian wasn't an option, then I sure as hell would've taken her offer of a BBBJ with CIM.  Or, if she is equipped for Russian, then a combo of Russian / BBBJ with CIM... It's ALL good!!!

3) I would never have opted to leave or let her leave without blowing my load... that's a blue balls nightmare waiting to happen.

4) And finally, If I was allergic to latex, then I would've had a minimum of 3 non-latex condoms with me.  Obviously, I doubt you'll make THAT mistake again as you can't expect the providers to have non-latex on hand.  One other lesson you may have now learned... what did tipping her previously get you?  Here was the moment of truth, when she could have shown her appreciation for your past generosity, and what did it get you?  That's right.  Truthfully, she probably didn't even remember that you had even tipped her in the past.

Since 1-4 deal with what I would have done, which would've meant my jism was in her mouth, or on her neck and chest, or in a non-latex condom, and I'd have not experienced "your problem", let me now offer "What you should do".  Given what's happened to you, I would call the agency again.  Let them know that you are a valued customer, who's willing to remain a valued customer.  Tactfully point out your dissatisfaction with your last encounter.  Ask if you can get pro-rated for your next session.  Specifically state that you feel as though you should get your next session at half price.  Afterall, you got no more than half a session last time.  And you were DECEIVED out of the remainder of your time.  Make them understand that that is your interpretation.  Do not hint at retaliation or exposing them if they do not accept your offer; you are not in a position of power.  If you're rejected, then write an honest review.  This review should clearly state your unhappiness with the lady's deception and the agency's refusal to make amends.  But it should also state that YOU failed to supply your special condoms and that YOU rejected her offer of a BBBJ w/ CIM.  And it should mention that you had seen her twice before to your satisfaction.  Fairness dictates this inclusion.  This way, the agency may regret the negativity of your review.  It won't cripple their business; they will get over it, even if it decreases their bottom line a bit.  It may not help you out any, but it may improve their customer service for the next guy.


-- Modified on 11/4/2007 6:20:36 PM

that your not having the proper condom was a ploy to get her to do bareback. It must have crossed her mind.

I agree with everyone else here. One thing for sure, negotiating a lower price was never on the table. It never should have been.

You should have taken the BBBJ, and also if you if you could have gone like porsche engine for only 10 minutes. Then *after* the session gone to the drug store to get some Benedryl cream for your allergy: that would have worked out best.

((First, as an agency girl, she has no say over her time and likely was called away to another appt))

If she worked for any kind of agency where men do not have to be a member or *rigorously* screened before meeting a lady, then the agency is going to laugh in your face if you call with this complaint.

Escorts who work for smallish agencies are told flat out that it is illegal to stay in an appt once she's been solicited. Many agencies make ladies sign page after page of legal documents that detail the laws pertaining to and obligations of escorts in their given area. If you call and complain that she never came back after you made her leave so you could get condoms, they will pat her on the back for doing the right thing, tell you that you committed a crime, and you will likely be blacklisted as a trouble-maker.

Kick yourself for not taking the BBBJCIM. That's something not too many girls allow and you were just offered it w/no strings attached.

Nothing but love for you here, DenverNewbie. Welcome to the hobby! Trial by fire - gotta luv it ... -e

frown at the idea of one of their providers staying after a session or booking a session with a client previously seen through the agency independently.  That is grounds for termination in some instances and dangling the carrot of "I'm a regular" means if she did except the appt without agency approval and went to complain she would be left looking like she tried to steal a client.

I hate to beat a limp dick, but do what you can in the time that you have.  And yes, there are some men that do just pay for time, without happy endings or shooting stars. You cannot assume that tips have "paid it forward" for a discount in the future.  If that is what a tip means to you, perhaps you should reconsider.

I guess you can chalk this one up to experience and future investments at the nearest Walgreens.


Just a Peachy point of View

Some latex allergies are only after repeated use.

How bad would it have been if you used the latex comdom she had this one time?

I bet you don't repeat with her again.

I agree with the crown, something now is better than a future maybe.

Denver has some amazing, top-notch independent providers (not counting me... I'm a troublemaker, LOL).

Independents have a great deal more to lose by mistreating clients. Our reputations are an important part of how we make a living.

Further, most of the Denver independent ladies I'm acquainted with tend to be more relaxed with our schedules than most agency girls, and as such wouldn't mind waiting while you make a quick 10-minute trip to Walgreens.

Surf a bit on escortboards.net, and maybe think about trying a woman who manages her own business!

xxxooo
Beverly ;-*

and others have trouble find them.  ;o)

should come from the provider not the client. Trying to negotiate a discount for your own failing is a no-no. Ask yourself, what other personal mistakes would you negotiate a discount for?

If this had been the provider's fault, okay. I was in a session where the provider failed to bring the condoms. No discount, bbbjcim! Last time I saw her.  

Learn from the lesson. Move on. Next time, be prepared and then you can enjoy the session.

OFF

except to the degree they are responsible for her.

The last word here was her agreement that she would show up.  Consumers are entitled to rely on that.

I know how this would go down.  She'd claim she was coerced - ie, she felt that way.

The schmuck was naive.  HE should know better than to trust.

And now he should know better than to dial that agency or girl, or anybody using their phone, again.

asked her to dinner - at Denny's!  followed by an evening at the local stripclub.... this followed by gettin a room at the local motel 6 where we could work on our communication skills....  sheese...

I read through the above... and it never ceases to amaze me... if you need special equipment - it is up to you to bring it.  The advice to go with a BBBJ is not bad....  I have done that when I was just not turned on...

I agree with most advice given. If she was there for 30 minutes, and would have spent 25-30 minutes driving and inside the store, that's your hour there. To expect her to give you an hour plus 20-30 minutes is not fair. Understandably, you wouldn't be with her while she was going to the store, so it's no good for you.. but she is getting paid for her time no matter how that time is spent, so this is no good for her either. In addition, I think what she meant is that the agency doesn't allow their portion to be discounted.. so she would be all taking the hit for all of a significant loss for something that was not her fault. As one provider said, many clients request BJ only during their session- that is not grounds for a discount. French, Russian, FS, cuddling, kissing, talking.. these are all part of your time on the clock. Some guys prefer different types of sex, and some prefer just a HJ or even want to cuddle for the whole hour. Giving you a BBBJCIM is not any less work for her, nor is it any less time. In fact, mentioning money at all, and asking for a discount on top of it, was a breach of etiquette, and probably made the provider uncomfortable.

I totally agree that it was not good of her to agree to something and then not follow through.. but she probably didn't know what to say or how to say it to make you understand, since you already declined to spend the rest of your time engaged in oral, Russian, and other intimate activities. By sending her away for the remaining 30 minutes, you essentially spent your time that way.

Since she was an agency gal, something may have come up, and she may not have had any control over her schedule. Still, I do think she could have called. She didn't act perfectly within hobby etiquette. But you breached etiquette first and more severely. It's not a blame game, of course, just trying to give you another take on your role and hers in the whole situation.. If I had been in that situation, as an independent, I would have suggested the same thing, to continue playing in other ways. If you'd asked me to go get condoms, and I'd had extra time in my day, I probably would have offered to extend the appointment to my 1.5 hour session. That way, I would be compensated for my time, and you would be able to finish and enjoy more time with me without feeling rushed or pressured. Then I probably would have gone to the store, gotten back say at 3:55-4, and stayed until between 4:30 and 4:45, making sure to give you one good round and a little extra time at the end. That way, you are getting a little extra time to make up for the time while I was at the store, and I am getting a little extra money to compensate for not all but most of my extra time. But like I said, I'm an indy, and I can be more flexible with my time, my rates, and my bookings.

As you now know, you have to provide any special equipment needed, so keep that in mind down the road!~ And never expect or request a discount from a woman- it's considered quite rude and demeaning. Best of luck!~

XoXo,
Marea

persoanally when I have any kind of complaint from my regulars re the lady they do get a discount on the next visit because that is how I would want to be treated if I had a complaint with a business which i frequent and that is what u should have done called the agent. but truthfully even you have to know it was your fault for not being prepared and not axcepting her offer of bbbj. she could have offered you extra time on the next visit with her though.

First, thanks to all the helpful commentators.

Second, just to clarify, I fully recognized that the problem was my fault--I think I stated this in my initial post--but I, too, am in a service industry and take pride in helping customers gain satisfaction even if the problem they have is one of their own making.

Third, my doctor tells me that allergic reactions, including those to Latex, can run a gamut of severity. They can also become more severe over time, so in particular it might be dangerous to use a Latex condom in the expectation one can run to the store later for some steroid cream. I mention this as a caution to other latex allergy sufferers.

Fourth, many thanks for discussing the etiquette involved. In many service professions, customers requesting discounts for any variety of reasons--volume, service dissatisfaction, or maybe even "I'm a long time customer facing some temporary financial problems, can you help me out"--are not considered rude. Obviously, different industries have different standards and the standard here came out loud and clear in the responses above. Tangential to this, in other service industries there is little difference to the possibility of discount being initiated by the provider or the customer. Here, it seems, there is.

Fifth, the point some people made about her being restricted by agency rules is a very good one. Again, if it wasn't clear from my initial post, my problem wasn't that she didn't comply, my problem was she lied. If she had said, "I have the manager's personal phone number; let's call him up and see if we can come up with a solution" I would have had no problems, even if no solution could be offered. But this is an industry where trust is important, in both directions, and I agree with the comments that she made a mistake there.

Comment first:

   After an experience where the provider was unprepared I learned to bring everything I might need with me. When I see someone we generally use hers because in my experience most ladies prefer to use their own, but like a good boy scout I come prepared.

Point 1:

   Since she is paid for her time and she shorted him she is in the wrong. She is NOT paid for her drive time, prep time, other time as that is built into the rate. She spent half of the time paid for and he is entitled to some compensation from the agency. Which I suspect will be provided if you call and calmly discuss it.

Point 2:

   He negotiated in good faith she did not. Had she not agreed to return after a few minutes he would have come to a DIFFERENT decision. Perhaps accepting her offer or perhaps something completely different. While various sensitive issues of etiquette were touched on (or perhaps tripped over) neither party can be excused for making a deal they didn't intend to keep.


  Once again if you contact the agency and discuss this I would be surprised if they won't make some arrangement with you. Most reputable agencies realize that when things go wrong its in everyone interest to find a common ground.

-J

I really do hate to hear that this happened to you.  However, man were you naive in thinking that this female would come back.  I have said it before and will say it again THIS IS NOT A BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is an underground world of social and sexual deviants (I being one of the sexual deviants - proudly).  We should all accept the fact that there is something wrong with providers and hobbyists.  I am not being moralistic here just honest.  And believe me when I tell you that my life is much much easier and better accepting the fact that I am a sexual deviant albeit in a good way.

I have seen several providers multiple times and I really do enjoy the time I spend talking to them among other things.  Honestly no BS.  However, it is never far from my mind that I just paid this women for sex.  Please examine that statement "I paid for sex from her".  That makes me the sexual deviant and her the social deviant (social deviant because most people don't have sex for money - NO THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING SEX FOR MONEY IF BOTH ADULTS AGREE).  Why am I paying for sex and why is she selling sex?  That rhetorical question makes my point THIS IS NOT A BUSINESS!!!!!!!!  Why would you trust someone who you just paid for sex?  You trust your insurance company to make good on an automobile claim.  Everyone here seems to agree that you should have taken the BBBJ.  I disagree strongly.  What you should have done is this - it's strange but hear me out.

Tell her that you are out of condoms.   She replies that she has one.  You respond that you are allergic to latex.  But you then say since you have already paid her let's go ahead and risk it.    Although you might have such a severe reaction that you could drop dead in the hotel room.  If she leaves there are more than enough security cameras that would have taken her picture to identify her as leaving the room of a dead man.  This is not a threat just a simple fact - hotels/motels are filled with security cameras.  Her picture would then be plastered all over the local news and newspapers.  Thus, rendering her secret to her family and friends.   And believe me it is a secret.  So give me the latex condom and let's go.  Or let's just take a ten minute drive to Walgreens and you will take ten minutes off your time because it is YOUR fault.  Either way one of these scenarios is going to happen because I just paid you several hundred dollars so let's choose RIGHT NOW!!!!