nogame"What she doesn't know is that I am still seeing providers across the county on my business travels."
"I really worry about what kind of person I am"

The whole thing sounds made up..I won't apologize for being a skeptic.
If its true, Too Much Info if you are trying to keep it a secret..
Bullshit meter says 10.

Have you said you are exclusive? Has she said she is exclusive?  "More or less" doesn't count.

Puh-leaze! She has to know this is happening and if she doesn't, her years of training have betrayed her.

I have been married for many years, and have been seeing providers for much of that time.  I am a dog, and I know it.

Somehow, that did not cause a problem in my mind.

Now a former provider has retired, and has expressed an interest in me personally.  She knows my background, and I know hers.

We are seeing each other more or less exclusively - she knows I am married, but we talk of good times together in the future as much as reasonable.  

What she doesn't know is that I am still seeing providers across the county on my business travels.  Cheating on the person I am cheating on, so to speak.

It is a great life, but I really worry about what kind of person I am.  I am better than this.l  As I said, I am a dog and I know it.

Do you ever think about who you are and what you are doing?

Especially when your traveling & if that is how you met her!

That a provider should be able to tell the signs herself?

I hope so, because that's what I say. lol

How many stories do we here of cheating spouses marrying the person they were cheating "with" only to turn around and cheat "on" that very same person?

Some people just aren't cut out for monagomy, there is nothing wrong with that. It's the reason I remain divorced, and enter "exclusive" relationships only on very rare ocassions, and never for very long.

The harm comes from "dogs" that try to pretend they are something that they are not. If you are a dog, admit to yourself and stay out of "serious" relationships. That's what I do, and it's working out just fine for me.

take a look around you here. Everybody woofs.

I think about what I am as a person and the decisions that I make toward people and my level of integrity. I have been blessed in that I can have beautiful women as wives if I want. But I know that my sex drive is such that I would not be satisfied with one woman unless there was a compelling barrier to my cheating. I do business travel, getting the environment for cheating would be infinitely easy. So, I have chosen to remain single with the freedoms and limitations that status brings. If I were to marry, regardless of how beautiful or accomplished the wife, the only barriers to my cheating on her would be children. With children in a marriage, I could not possibly justify cheating and would work daily to find reasons to be faithful to and cherish their mother.

One other observation. A woman who you spend the most time with and wake up beside will never fully measure up to a woman who you newly meet or barely know. You smell your wife's morning breath or use the bathroom after she has taken a shit. You see all of her habits, good and filthy. You may have seen some of the same with your lover given the time spent with her. You see the best and worst of your wife and lover daily, more of your wife. Any woman that you meet on the street, in the office or in the hobby is at her best at that time. You do not see any aspect of the new woman's downside, her morning breath, her filth, her nasty habits, you only see the best she has to offer. If you go about it with a certain state of mind, you wife will never measure up, even if she is a rather spectacular person.

You need to start making choices. I suggest that you go off literally into the wilderness where there is nothing but you, time and a full length mirror in your lodging. Think about what you have been and how you feel about what your have been. Look at yourself in the mirror. If you feel great shame, you should modify your life and/or choices. If you feel no shame, you can make choices, but those choices need to be what is in your defined best interests.

In any "outside" sex - relationships - activities the question I ask myself....  perhaps you need to ask yourself...  is "Where can this go?"  
Your relationship with Ms. Former Provider has crossed the line of NSA (No Strings Attached) sex.  It may just be a fantasy illusion of "What if we had met under different circumstances?"  I actually did discuss with a delightful Fav Lady that barring some tragidy at home, there was sadly no where for our relationship to go.  You see I had crossed that line as well.  I still see her but the conversation was like a bucket of cold water on the heat.  
If this is fantasy then it is harmless.  If she is wanting more...  emotionally...  than you are treading very dangerous ground.  Emotional cheating is far worse & harder to contain than NSA sex.

That you may still see other providers is not germain to the conversation except to underscore that you & Ms FP are on different wave lengths.  

**DANGER**  **DANGER**  **DANGER**

You may get hurt.  Ms FP may get hurt (no telling what she'll do then).   I advise managing this situation before the crap hits the fan.
skb

Unless you're not paying her