My ex girlfriend is an escort and she uses this site, I'm just wondering if any other guys have seriously dated an escort also. How do you turn off your feelings knowing that at this moment another man is with her, I just couldn't handle it myself. And ladies I'm NOT judging just putting it out there to see if anyone else is in my situation or something similar. Also ladies do you tell men that you meet (not through escorting) what you do for a living?  Like ive previously stated I'm NOT JUDGING im hurting... Happy New Year everyone And stay safe!

She is now retired to pursue other interests, but for a few years she continued to work as we dated.

Went down that path and it's not one I will ever consider again. To many issues, to much deceit, to many lies.  

How is that different than any other civie relationship?  Once you break up, she'll be banging the next guy -- and probably love him too

Look at it this way. How could a woman POSSIBLY seriously date a guy who has paid for pussy?

Let's be real, we both know the score in this situation. We both know this scenario is a challenge to mentally deal with, not everyone can handle it.  

And I don't date outside the hobby. Although I do have an 18 year old fuck buddy, whom I will soon be filming 18+ amateur videos with...but, while we love and respect one another (as friends) we obviously aren't in love.  

You didn't say is WHY she's your ex.
Jealousy drive a wedge?
She got tired of you broaching the subject?
She took off with another guy?

First of all, your specific question and the context which you presented can be quite different:

is not for everyone.  It takes a guy who is confident and experienced with women, so you know if you are really a "boyfriend" or just a favorite "customer."  One of the ways girls hang onto their regulars is by playing the boyfriend charade.  There are many nuances to look for to determine if you have a genuine relationship or not, but the most telling is this:  If you are paying or helping her financially anymore than you would a civvie girl you met at work or in a club, then you are really a customer and not a boyfriend.  I have had four longer-term relationships with working girls, and each one got to a point within four to six weeks where the girl makes a declaration:  "You're my boyfriend, so you don't have to pay anymore."  Until you hear that, think what you want, but you are just a customer.

If the OP tells me her name, I promise not to fuck her until she has been in my city at least two weeks.  By way of a good example, I'm showing him a little respect here.   Actually, very little, but that's besides the point.

If she wasn't in 'this' business chances are you never would have met her.  Mind games can be your friend in 'this' world

...your issues. But I do remember worrying a bit for her safety though just because you just never know. She is pediatrician now in Columbus OH. So if you live in or around there she just might be your kid's doctor

-- Modified on 12/30/2016 7:45:27 PM

Life is pretty harsh.   The OP seems to be looking for validation of his feelings - that somehow P4P is unclean and dirty.  I resent that attitude.   In other words.... Ga G is right.  The OP was judging despite the words.  GaG was just being an asshole about it which is what he does.  I will say it's a much more direct and entertaining approach than mine

I was in a serious relationship with an escort before I ever became one. I didn't know at first but she eventually told me. A few times I was actually there to see her in action and it surprisingly didn't bother me in the least. I joined in on some but not all. Anyways, after seeing the lack of emotion on her part, it made me realize that it was purely just a job to her. After that, I never had an issue with what she did.  

First of all, I've known several atfs who dated hobbyists, and a few eventually married one. Each one treated the marriage entirely differently. One quit the business, and both stayed monogamous. One stayed in the business, but only allowed a non mutual fbsm, while he wasn't allowed to play. Two stayed in the business, and did not allow their husbands to partake. And lastly, two of them had open marriages. If the lady was going to work, the gentleman was allowed to hobby, solo, or doubles with escort wifey (Does hobbyist hubby get a discount?).  

...but if a bf was seeing escorts and felt no way about them, emotionally, wouldn't he feel the same about his gf?
(just a general question and not directed at person I quoted)

But I usually get over it during the drive home.

Your definition of "love" is flawed.  

Certainly may be looking in the wrong place but sometimes, even in the hobby, forces of nature mix with our own unique alchemy to form emotional connections whether we rightly or wrongly call them love.  I get some of the heartbreak here.  My circumstances are quite different but what I am feeling and dealing with at the moment feel very real.  I also get the commentary about being flawed.  We can all look within and find our own unique levels of that as well.  Here's to a New Year and all us finding a path to happiness or at least some sense of contentment within.

Human sexuality and emotion, are complex. And many of us marry or date within our socioeconomic strata.

Look there
Move through it
Get Control of your Thoughts

Aren't you more concerned that everyone who has read this thread considers you her ex-pimp?

Love is Beautiful.
I look for the Love feeling in Everything and Everyone.
It Is The Best of All Feelings to Feel in every moment of life.

Is Not
   True Love

Ga. Gambler,

Not an easy decision to make, but probably the right one. It's not wise to have a regular or real S/O, while working or participating in the hobby.

Just the tone in which it was stated.  The holidays can be a tough time for some and dealing with relationship woes can really be problematic.  

I would recommend posting on a Suicide Prevention site then
            not  
   The TER Fuck Board

Agreed, though a few seem to stick with me for a while

Many years ago, in my first year in the hobby, I fell in love with my ATF. We had some common interests and some great chemistry, and compared to almost any regular woman that I ever dated, she was really low maintenance and generally relaxing to be around. I didn't like to think about how she made a living, but she didn't have the education or skill to make more than minimum wage in a legal job, and I didn't earn enough money at that time to support her and her kids.

... and 50% about what we're willing to overlook about the other person.  It's this part that makes or breaks every relationship

but you don't pay any less either.

The best lovers are those who are caring and respectful of their beloved.

Huh??
There is nothing wrong with men and women being desirous of monogomous relationships.
Theoretically, if I told a lady early in a relationship that I liked to hobby, I can't imagine casting even the slightest judgement on her for wanting to move on, for not being willing to fully accept me.
For many, it is about 100% self-giving, and wanting to be with someone who aspires to the same.
That is not about control.
That is not about NOT knowing what love is.
Monogomy is a quite natural desire actually.

Make him pay for pussy too. lol!

I love this! I have a guy who says, "Pick a flower and it will die." I love that quote - you can't make something work that just doesn't work for you.  

I think she's more saying he's trying to make someone into someone else so he can love her - which as we all know - doesn't work.

I think it is 100% possible to have a client or just a regular guy fall in love with a escort. We are human people to with feelings. I think the man or client has to full understand that the escorting is just a job. There could be tons of emotional connection with her in her clients but at the end of the day, they have there families to go home to if married and or have girlfriends etc. It is very possible to become in love with a women that does this and we can as well shut of certain feelings and know their just a client. I think overall it does take a very special confident man to be able to handle this sort of thing we do. Sorry you feel so hurt.

If not, or if so, don't try to make something work for you that doesn't work.  
 
It's hard, and I know that because I have dated someone who was not at all involved in this industry. It was very difficult - but the difficulties came through two humans trying to make something work - that just didn't.  
 
And I will not do it again. He wasn't a bad guy per se, but for each other? It was intoxicating and toxic at the same time. For both of us.  
 
However, we weren't "serious". He friend zoned me, and didn't give me enough sex - so that option was more out because of the lack of sex on my end. lol!  
 
I've told a guy I dated what I do, and that's when I learned for my level of evolution, that it doesn't work for me - so I just don't date outside of this. I get plenty of love and attention here (and money) and am having the time of my life. lol!  
 
Good luck, but I say if you can't handle it, try finding a girl somewhere else. If you see escorts, yeah - you can't really judge.  
 
xoxo  
 
Courtney (for now at least. muahahahaha)

I am hardly posting under an alias.  

Yikes!

For all we know he's just a lovesick john who "thinks" she's his GF. It's not like we have any shortage of those types here.

I have Never witnessed one.
and, Why do they desire Monogamy?  
  I will tell you it is about  
  Control of the genitals.  
  Control of where the person gets their Pleasure.
  Control of where the person places their Attention.

Yeah I said that it doesn't masks him a bad person in my reply that hasn't posted yet. Not sure what the hold up is. But if it doesn't work it doesn't work.  

...of course he doesn't like girls who use their own judgement, when it comes to their vagina and their pleasure.
He must not have known there are whores around these parts  
         that are proud to be whores.

Some people will understand this post, others will not. I'll leave it to someone else to explain to those who don't have a clue as to what I meant.

Activities, meals, etc., as I would for a civvie girlfriend.  Once it's clear I'm the outside boyfriend and not paying for sex anymore, I treat them exactly like I would a civvie girlfriend. That's the key to making it last, IMO.  The real life relationship is their escape from the fantasy world they work in, so keeping it as real as possible helps them distinguish between customer and boyfriend. The trickiest part is making the transition when you met them as a customer. Many potential relationships blow up at this point unless you play it just right. It was a multi-year learning curve for me before I figured it all out.

-- Modified on 12/31/2016 12:16:40 PM

and let them know beforehand what I do for a living.  I can't see how a typically monogamous guy would be able to handle the jealousy issues that come with dating an escort.  As hard as it is dating an escort it's even harder dating while being an escort.  Most of the time you have one of two choices...to lie about what you do or to be truthful and risk the other person's judgement and derision.  I'm happy I discovered the poly community as most are pretty non judgemental and relaxed about it and I hate lying.  I still feel as if I need to have a "falling in love" fund though.

It proves he is VIP, which means either he pays for the privilege of being here, OR he writes reviews.

I completely get what you are saying, but IMO she went well beyond that in her critique of the original poster.
He brought up very natural human thoughts - which to me don't speak of control.
Perhaps he now understands himself better, and won't allow himself to go down this road again, becoming involved with someone who isn't really available for the type of relationship he desires.

Are cognac induced. But then I wake up the next day and it's not so brilliant anymore. 😆

This guy made it sound like he was just jumping on the board to ask a question. But there's no brown envelope. Hmmmm. Hmmmmm.  

I don't want to convince you otherwise.
I don't think any words would do this.
I certainly have a 180 degree different opinion from you, based on my life experience, and people I've known, lots of happily married people who are monogomous.
Does it mean life is a fairy tale?  Hardly.
But it's also a far far cry from your bleak vision of monogomy only being about genital control.
If that is the take that your life experiences have lead you to have - so be it.
You live in your reality - I'll live in mine.
All the best...

It was part of my calling him out as an alias.

I do not require monogamy for Happiness.
I have seen people Lie and live two lives, to the detriment of their emotional health.

...as long as she doesn't care if I fuck around, then I'm okay with her doing the same, especially if she doesn't charge me.  But then, I'm an old fuck and not looking for a long term gig.

Make your happiness the way you see fit.
However, I don't think monogomy limits one's opportunity to show love - on the contrary, I think it challenges love to grow in new depths every day (and if not worked at, will die).

I adore you Robbin! I'd get divorced and marry you in a heartbeat. See you again in 2 weeks.

GaGa is correct as posting monikers which appear in this greenish blue color are not "aliases" in the TER realm. Of course we are all using aliases as no one would be moronic enough to be using their real identities posting on an adult message board, but the TER version of an alias appears in black colors just like the OP has chosen to post under a TER alias. Yours truly and GaGa post under our main handles and these are not aliases of main posting handles. Therefore, I concur with his opinion that the OP must be a VIP member of this forum and in the most likelihood an active or recently active monger.  

You date guys who wear polyester suits?  I thought they went out with Nehru jackets!

Or loves his girl sucking on others guys dicks why hes thinking of his love for her.

I'm already divorced, so things will move along faster.

Lol this woman can't resist a man in a polyester suit.

My wife was doing this and wanted me to play here too. And guess what, It helped. Dating or in my case being married to a sex worker can be tough. You must come to grips that regardless of how good looking, skilled in bed, funny, rich, intelligent or whatever, your woman may have a client that is more so, yet she still choose you. That was tough for me and GaGambler and others here forced me to face reality. Sometimes being an ass is a real help. I am glad GaGambler plays that role so I don't have to. I think the OP needed it.

My wife, who is a sex worker, is an amazing loving, kind, and patient woman. She makes me laugh with her humor. She lifts me up when I am down. She celebrates my victories. She is an amazing mother. She makes me want to be a better man. She is an easy woman to love.  

I kind of always figured that. Glad to have conformation. It explains why so many squirrels hang around my house.

-- Modified on 12/31/2016 8:50:18 PM

Scientists estimate that only 3-5% of mammals are monogamous. It is not a natural condition in the animal kingdom!! So much strife has been created by this societal pressure--- it has caused incalculable damage!! Why can't we love more than one person intimately--who created this barrier, and why?? IMHO this is another example of the devastating effects organized religion has had on our society!!

Did you stay in the hobby?

like you are confusing sex with love.  Maybe you should ask the swingers on this site this question.  For me, I could easily fall in love with a few of the ladies I've seen and gotten to know.  I would have no problem with her enjoying her career.  After all, it's her heart I would be interested in.

Oh, I've been in love with you since you started on this forum 2-3 years ago.

I think it takes a guy who ever enjoys his lady being desired and taken by others...or just a mind set that she is yours at the end and the start of all days.  The time she is with other men is tantric.

est answer I've ever read to this ever-repeating question.  Good on ya Caressa!!

So while there are many escorts who treat clients like any customer would wish to be treated in a business transaction - with honesty, fairness, and respect - some sex workers are aiming to hustle as much cash out of their clients as they can. These girls are master manipulators and don't see the client as a person - the clients are just tricks, fruit ripe for the picking. How many working girls would gladly let a client pay triple what guy the hour before paid, and yet their service was the exactly the same? In any other profession, that would be scandalous and perhaps land the businessperson in court. It's the lack of a moral compass I've seen in the profession that leads me to believe dating a working girl will most likely end up in pain and hurt.

-- Modified on 1/7/2017 11:38:21 PM

Honest Living?
escorts vs Cable companies