We started a thread much below this one about men always seeking younger women, and received some great responses.
But, we got to thinking, why is it that it is the women who get so bitter?  And, so much as we hate to admit it, we think you are right:  it pretty much IS the women only.
Is it the way women are socialized to be idealistic?  And, when their idealism fails and reality becomes disappointing, they become bitter?
Just why is it that the women get more bitter as they age?  And the men don't?
Anybody know a good answer?

Frankly, I have not experienced the phenomena you describe.

Any man who has gone through the wallet-eating meat-grinder that is the California Family Court will tell you that for men, there are only bitter pills on the post-divorce side.  

It is impossible to watch how easy it's been for my ex-wife to manipulate the system, and even flaunt her willful disregard for the law, and not be deeply angry.  

The wonder is that I am not MORE bitter.

Yoda

Ladies probably remember all the crappy stuff that had happened to them  while men are like dogs and can be easily distracted by something new or flashy in their view.

When men do get bitter?  Watch out!

When women are getting distracted by something new?  come quick -they'll be morose again faster!

The last part is a joke

Where are you finding all these bitter women?

I'm a mature lady, that is not bitter, and I don't know any that are.  Maybe, I'm hanging with good company....LOL


Guys, you must not be looking in the right places  





-- Modified on 3/17/2004 3:58:13 PM

Viagra? I mean look at Bob Dole before

Is what seems to make a lot of divorced women bitter.  But the men are equally as bitter when it comes to ponying up for child support, alimony, restricted visitation schedules, etc.

Watching my parents grow old, they both seem to get a little more "cranky", set in their ways, and want their daily routine.  Kind of reminds me of when my kids were 2!

He must be refering to my wife and her friends. They are the official She-Ra men haters club.

I completely understand this post because there are some women who get bitter with time but only those who have been really hurt over and over again and also allow themselves to wallow in self pity. I believe a positive attitude is the answer for everyone. I've seen men just as bitter over a divorce or "being tossed" as a woman scorned. I think it's what I would classify as "frustrated and/or tired" not bitter.

Keep smiling. When you smile the world smiles back at you.

Hugs,
Ciara

Men care but it would be hard to care any less, but they work at it

In our culture women get a lot of power from being cute. People will pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars to stick their penis into a cute girl. However,there are some girls that even if they paid you you still wouldn't sleep with them.
Anyway, as looks fade so does power, and if your happiness relies on power, then your happiness fades as well. You get less attention and you know it. The world turns into a different place.
Men on the other hand tend to be happy when they have some money and a little bit of respect. This is not hard to find depending on your expectations. Also, many men get better looking with age (not all though)but even those that don't can laugh about the gut and bald head. It's no big deal! Women do not have this option.
This is why I have always told any good looking female friends of mine to get educated. Education allows you to have something interesting to talk about and do as you age. Believe it!

their beauty and youth (which some see as being related)... this is especially true of women in escorting/acting/modeling careers where their identity (and perceived "worth") are defined by their appearance ... to some extent, which i can't quantify, this must be true for all women

it's been said (not by me) that beauty is to (such) women what courage and strength are to a man ... but when a man ages these things are not taken away from him by Father Time ... on the contrary, he's likely to accumulate more power and other "man-defining" attributes the older he gets  (frankly, that's the main advantage an older man has over a younger more attractive one) ... for a woman (of the kind defined above) it must be especially cruel to watch her beauty and youth fade away ... this might be the root of the bitterness that accrues over time

there's an interesting book out that chronicles the life of Countess de Castiglione, a Florentine aristocrat who was so obssessed by her own beauty that she eventually went stark raving mad -- but not before taking over 400 staged portraits of herself with photographer Pierre-Louis Pierson over a span of 40 years (each of which she carefully supervised -- and retouched -- to preserve herself for all eternity)

Give me a break.   Men don’t get bitter?  You need to hang around more 50+ guys who feel they have worked their butts off for their whole life and feel they have nothing to show for it but a bunch of crap in the garage.  Bitter is not the providence of any sex.

The real question is why you give a shit who’s bitter.  The world has plenty of mean, unhappy, bitter people of both sexes.  All I (or any of us) can really do is to make sure I’m not one of them..  

Ahhhhhhhh, it is late, and I must get to my beauty sleep, but I do find myself compelled to respond to this tomorrow........

Hmmmmmmmm, good topic.

Jenni

-- Modified on 3/17/2004 11:19:53 PM

"the wallet-eating meat-grinder that is the California Family Court"

   Fugg'n CLassic!
 I'm gonna save that quote to hard drive MasteraYoda2

  Cm.

P.S. The bitterness in mature women sets in soon after they have divorced their husbands, set off in search of themselves only to find that they are STILL miserable, unhappy and now lonely to boot.

  Cm.

I've never seen or heard anything other than stories that Woman grow more dissatisfied and bitter as they age.  I have also never seen or heard anything other than stories that Women have increasing differences in their levels of dissatisfaction and bitterness over men as both age.  If your premise is false, you can draw any conclusion you like.  Do you have something other than your own feelings and observations?

Funtime69 for starters

And judging from my own personal experiences with some of these lovely ladies, I swear it was correct.

shouldn't we be downing Pineapple juice to correct that?

Women are attracted to power and money. Men are attracted to looks and sex appeal.

Men get more of what attracts women as they get older. Women lose more of what attracts men as they get older.

You don't see too many 60 y/o women with 30 y/o guys, but you see lots of it the other way around.

If it were reversed, I'd be bitter too.

The reason women get more bitter with age, relative to their male peers, is the same reason they more readily take to social manipulation when they're young, relative to their male peers: they're more socially concerned.

Females tend to value themselves in terms of their role within a group, much more so than males. Males tend to prefer to win certain tasks -- conquer a mountain, program a computer, coach a team to a championship. Females tend to feel that the act of relating within a group is, in itself, a goal, an end, not just a means to an end.

As they're shunted from the group, they find they have no means to re-entering it. They lose the bitterness when they're within and discussing a group that doesn't reject them -- work, or fellow older women, or their children and grandchildren.

I personally think it would be a sad existence -- constantly seeking other people's approval and support. But then, I'm lonely and hyper-independent, to the degree that I can't even get a date without paying for it, so I have to admit my side of the coin has its disadvantages too ...

I have been stewing over the past few days about this one. By now, all of y'all know only too well how much I like to trample gender generalizations and get on my soapbox.  However, I literally had so many things I wanted to say about this thread that I couldn't make the words come out right...

and then you come along and do it for me.

It is not human nature to be bitter without motivation. Some motivations may be more valid than others, but most are grounded in at least some validity.  As Ayn Rand would have said, check your premises.

then had those views dashed.  It would be helpful for many of them to not swing to the opposite extreme (a bitter, cynical view of life), but instead to simply adopt a more realistic and balanced view.  A true realist is not bitter at all, and can enjoy life immensely.

Aren't you funny...Gotta admit it is cool to see that my legend is growing...Why the alias? can't stand by your words with your own TER handle? Of course not. Coward...

and I agree with Gag Me 100%.

As for your legend, here it is: