Back in 06, I had started a thread about close calls with your SO. There were some good responses and feedback.
Since that time, I have had only one other close call.
I was supposed to be playing golf on LI, but had instead ventured into Manhattan for a session. I had parked on the street and had a muni-meter receipt on my dashboard. The SO found it, and I had to do some fancy talking.
The moral to my story is be careful, and not to get sloppy, and by all means, cover your tracks.

Anyone else care to share?  

I've had a few, where some talking was needed.  But the most scary ones are where you pre-empt the close call, realizing that you'd been unable to talk your way out of it if you'd not caught it b4 she did.  For example, came home from a nice session.  Wife not home.  Went back out to the car to go get a fast food meal.  Open the door and a condom falls out!  Obviously, it had fallen out of my pants pocket (I thought it wise to carry a spare in those days).  But what's most alarming, is that this was my wife's car!  We'd switched for the day.  If I'd stayed in and fixed my own supper, then the wife would've had quite the surprise when she opened her door the next morning to go to work.  Another time, I returned home from a great session only to find my work schedule pulled up on the computer.  I had said to the wife that I had to go in to work that evening as my cover.  Upon seeing my work schedule, which showed that I DID NOT work that evening, I was about to freak out!  Fortunately, I realized that one of my son's had pulled it up by mistake and had forgotten to close it out (thank god the wife hadn't seen it).  So I quickly went into the document, edited it to show that I did have to work.  That opened my eyes quite a bit, about covering your bases.

I've made most of the mistakes luckily either found them first before her or fasttalked, but the suspicion increases over time-  just too many ways and too easy to be careless.

Let's see...
1.  Restaurant receipt in wallet
2.  Parking lot or valet ticket on dash
3.  Flower petal on car floor (one of my provider's birthday dinner)
4.  Left Preferred411 web page up on computer
5.  didn't run window washer and TER handle autifilled on next TER login
6.  Companion's baggage claim check with her name printed on it stuck on my suitcase (we checked in together- they tagged whichever bag came first.
7.  One piece of luggage lost in flight- had to prevent from it being shipped to house with compannion's claim check on it.
8.  Lost luggage shipped to companion's house with my name/address on it for whacko boyfriend to see
9.  Provider misdials and calls my cell 5:00 am- rings, I get to it first!

Luckily no mishaps on other possibilities-  travel agency account on hobby email instead of home email, credit card statement to office instead of home..... etc etc

Just too damn many things to keep track of!  Life of a cheater!

The stuff you guys have to go through to have a little fun. I guess I just take the hobby for granted, it's all just a lot of fun for me.

I have to say I sure don't envy you guys.  I cannot imagine the stress it must put on you having to always be so careful. I couldn't do it. I don't think I could keep secrets like that from my s/o. It would drive me nuts. Thank goodness I have a very understanding s/o...who by the way was a client wayyyyy back when! Now that.....is another story!!

to get that bottle of Rogaine to rub on my chest!!!

when "Deep Throat" was first released I was in School.... and the closest theater playing Deep Throat was about 150 miles away in another major city.... off I go.  Well!  

The theater was raided as I was there enjoying the movie! lol!!!  I was supposed to be studing for exams.... gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "film at 11"!!!  

and yes, I was captured on film...   crime fighting raincoat and all!  Bwahaha!!!

Glad you can laugh about it now, but damn- that's terrible.  

Come to think of it, I have never seen DeepThroat- I guess I need to make that happen.

XO
Melanie

IMHO much more worth watching than Linda lovelace... Carol later went on to be "the gong girl" on the gong show!! lol!

I met her years later in Baltimore.  nice lady - was rumored that she made a pile of money - and I asked... she laughed and told me that no she had not made a "pile of money" else she would not be signing autographs for $5 a signature plus polaroid...  

guess porn pays better now... or at least i hope so.

-- Modified on 4/22/2008 11:03:16 AM

Was of a condom wrapper sticking to a guys shoulder.  He wasn't seeing a pro, just some girl he picked up.  Did the deed and was proud of himself because he was able to get home early enough to avoid suspicion.

The problem was, it stayed stuck to his skin and in the morning his wife rolled over to give him a morning kiss and she discovered it.

Yikes!

XO
Melanie

Linda Lovelace had a sex show at the Jolly Trolley Casino in Las Vegas. Anybody else remember that? or the Jolly Trolley for that matter. They used to have the best prime rid in Vegas at the time, for $2.95 plus a dollar tip to the guy that did the cutting, you'd get a slab of meat that looked like Fred Flinstone had ordered. Oh those were the days, Vegas in the seventies rocked.

those were the days... then there was the lovely lady - Marilynn chambers... she alone was the sole reason that I discovered the joys... of WINDJAMMER!  she was to go on a Windjammer excursion... and I thought hooo boy... my chance to git with the pornstars.... Well.... that did not happen!  BUT I did go on a Windjammer cruise... and witnessed an honest to god mutiny... bosemans mate pulled a knife on the first mate... local cops in port were called... a fun time was had by all!

AND I did not get laid on the voyage...

-- Modified on 4/22/2008 12:15:14 PM

-- Modified on 4/22/2008 12:32:45 PM

Divorce was expensive, but peace of mind is priceless.

I'm careful to not buy gas or snacks with credit card "places I never was".  Guys have been bagged by "speed pass" for places they "never were."
Buy supplies & phone cards with cash & trash the reciept in the bin outside the store...  better yet, add the minutes to the phone & trash the minute card too.
Keep the supplies really hidden.  Don't be computer sloppy.  Use a hobby phone & separate e-mail (if I die, the account dies with me...  my own brother could not break the code).  My dates fit into the windows of my normal activities...  coffee shop, lunch at the diner...  
I didn't know any of this when I was a newbie...  so lucky!
skb

-- Modified on 4/23/2008 5:11:20 AM

Add to that where you do ATM withdrawals-

I made the mistake of both an ATM withdrawal and gas fill up in a town I had no business being in.  Looked at my cc statement and bank statement- both show the location of the transaction.  

Geez- two more for the list!

block away towards downtown, around the corner?  There was a very nice bit of action there, too.  I remember once going in there and a lady approached me and asked me if I wanted a private dance and announced, very proudly, that "We have condoms, for your pleasure."

My opinion (worth what you paid)... close calls such as described here are symptoms of guys that subconsciously want to get caught. Using credit cards in towns where you have no business being, carrying around receipts from dinners with providers, dropping condoms in the wifes car. Come on!

If you don't want to get caught, we all know exactly how NOT to get caught. Some of the situations described here seem like you guys have gotten complacent, and think nothing can go wrong. I am always on my toes.

What do you do if you are in a town that you have no business being in, and your car decides not to start, or breaks down? Or you lock your keys in the car? I never monger with my old car, and before I leave my car to monger, I do a detailed check for keys, wallet, etc.

Taking a trip with a provider, and you check your bags? I think NOT! Too many things could go wrong with the airlines and lost luggage, that might result in a call home. I travel for work, so I have seen too much for me to be comfortable with that.

Only have 90 minutes and think you have enough time to 'play'? That's the very time you will get caught in an unexpected traffic jam on a highway you shouldn't have been on.

Or it could be as simple as a call from the wife. What's your answer as to why you didn't answer the cell phone? You missed the call? But I tried again 5 different times - you missed them all? You have never missed a single call before - what's different this time?

I am way too paranoid and pessimistic to ever slip up like this. I always assume everything will go wrong,so that's how I ensure everything goes correctly.

Well, I've actually only had one date with a guy who had a close call - and it was too close for comfort.

We were going at it in his guest bedroom, when he's says, "shhh, I think my wife's home..."  And she was.

Luckly I lived to tell the tale - but I left out of there with the dog nipping at my heels.

But I really felt bad for the gent, and his wife.  Not only is it a really bad thing to actually get caught in bed with a hooker, but it must really suck to get caught by your wife with a TS girl like me...

TS Jamie

One night, when I was very much UTR (didn't know the internet advertising was going on,) I was seeing a well known celebrity's soon to be ex-husband. He was cool, very loaded on drugs (not my style, but the shoebox of money he handed me was my style,) and next thing you know, the bitch rammed her fucking car through the bedroom wall. I shit you not.

I ran my ass out of there (shoebox in hand) as fast as I could, hopped in the car and never looked back. I saw later in the tabloids their divorce was characterized as being "hard" but no talk of this shit. I have never sweated so much as running out, clothes and shoebox of money in hand from a whacked the fuck out crazed celebrity trying to get back at her soon to be ex-husband. The thought frightens me today and if I know a man's married and his "wife's away," I make sure that the bedroom wall isn't near the street.

Katie

I just finished a session at a incall hotel and when I left I was hungry. There was a Wendys next to the parking lot so I walked over went inside and ordered. My Provider came in and asked if she could sit at my table, what the heck we just spent a hour together. We are having a casual conversation and in walks my wife. O Shit and this is in a town 40 miles from mine. My wife was with a group from work and she asked what I was doing there and who was the babe? I said I was at a furniture store and this was just a stranger that asked to sit at the table because the place was full. A lie in time saves nine.

-- Modified on 4/23/2008 1:38:23 AM

I was waiting for someone to bring that up.
I would imagine that it is possible, but why not just confess? Why go through the experience of getting caught and possible traumatizing of your SO?
I do agree with you that being overly cautious is the way to go, but I believe most guys get caught by becoming sloppy.
I have had 3 close calls in 8 years, and all 3 were preventable. Lessons learned.

Your opinion is worthless on this matter.  Not on any level (conscious or subconscious) did I want to get caught.  I put a condom in my pocket, just in case the provider was without.  Since she wasn't, it stayed there.  Until it fell out of my pocket (we've all had stuff fall out of our pockets when sitting in those low, reclined bucket seats) in my wife's car.  Dude, I now take every precaution possible to avoid getting caught.  So much so, that I've cut waaaayyyy back on how much I hobby.  And I would also point out that the precautions DO make the hobby less enjoyable.  To the point, I'm probably going to give it up in the next couple of months.  Trust me, we're NOT "wanting to get caught"!  It's more along the lines of the old saying, "that men got 2 brains in their body, but only enough blood for one of them to work at a time".  Carelessness is so easy to come by when this occurs.

Next time we'll walk..........

to the island vacation site carrying our two suitcases!  When you can walk on water, you don't make mistakes.

In most cases it's a calculated risk when you hobby beyond normal hobbying- i.e. travel to other cities or vacationing with a companion.

When you do those things, the number of ways you can screw up rise dramatically.  Do I want to get caught?  No- obviously would just divorce and get it over with.  

But if you hobby at all, you run risk.  And if you aren't willing to accept the possibility of getting caught- then the only option is not hobby.  The point of this thread was to get a roll call of close calls-  good lessons for all of us!  N'est pas?

-- Modified on 4/23/2008 7:41:53 AM

My divorce was I'm sure the most expensive thing I've ever bought myself, but it was well worth it.

Well, you got what you paid for... lol!

Speaking of your condom situation... Let's assume that you are married and have no need for condoms with your spouse (big assumption, I realize). Then why bring the condom back with you? As soon as you knew the provider had her own, the one in your pocket should have been discarded.

Unless you have a secret stash of condoms, waiting to be discovered by your SO. Which again to me sounds like someone that WANTS to get caught. You should buy your condoms on the way to your provider appointment, and immediately throw away whatever is not used.

btw, I agree strongly with you that the worries about what might go wrong have put a damper on my ability to enjoy the hobby as well. I don't want to get caught, so I am constantly thinking about what might go wrong, which pretty much takes the fun out of it!

deep throat, and even Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon bragged about seeing the movie... and the San Fran crowd was very comfortable with even more... the "rest of the country" was less than happy about theaters showing Deep Throat... you have to remember - this was the first xxx movie that jumped into the popular culture... the others were little more than 16 mm "loops" some with sound, some in B&W but most with dudes who kept their socks on (ala Spitzer).  These were shown in run down theaters (well, some were theaters - some were... well, rooms in what was a store with the walls painted black with a stand-up screen against one wall).  They advertised the movies in the "back" of the theater/movie section of the news paper... and were not "clean"!  in short, lots of dudes with raincoats frequented these theaters...  And they smelled awful.

in short, not a place you wanted to get caught in.

A separate "soft porn" line co-existed at the time with the likes of Russ Meyers... who starred such lovelies as Uschi Digard - a buxom lass who had the most amazing figure (still does), Kitten Natividad.... and other lovelies... These were also shown in theaters - and tended to be better accepted as "legit" and were by and large left alone by vice etc.

Then along came "deep throat!"  EVERYTHING CHANGED overnight.  Suddently porn was hailed as the leading edge of all that was right by the left... Freedom of expression... freedom - heck even magazines such as playboy changed...(I should also add that mainstream movies changed as well.... more boobs on screen)!!!  More XXX movie theaters were present all over the place... People realized that you could actually make MONEY from porn... and it could be accepted.... but more to the point...  the right wing became scared - of what - who knows... but they were... and so, they raided the theaters that would dare offer up such fair...

Where were most of the cases?  Tennessee, Georgia (and yup... good ole Jimmih Cahrter... was gov of Georgia when the theater in Hotlanta was raided!).... and other southern states.... some in the midwest as well... there was even a case where they equated acting in a porn movie with prostitution... IMAGINE THAT! lol!

But then, something happened... something always does!  Technology changed... it always does... affordable VCRs made it possible to possess and watch a porn movie in the privacy of your own home... This helped (believe it or not) advance the electronics industry... and has been a driver of electronic tech development since... It is no accident that the AVN awards and the AEE are in vegas following the annual Consumer Electronics Show in the same city!

Go figure.  in short, change, it was all about the fear of change.

Call your voicemail from your real cell phone.

Am I the only one who accidentally hits the re-dial button one my cell phone when it's in my pocket?  Let that call go to voicemail rather than one's SO.