Thanks to all of you who responded to my post about this being a dangerous hobby, all of your recommendations were appreciated. I have a new question for anyone who is willing to listen.

Does seeing "providers" affect your view on "normal" women met at bars etc...do you end up thinking to yourselves "hey why waste my time and money wining and dining this girl when I know I can get it for sure, and probably for cheaper? Not to mention putting up with all the superficial bullshit todays dating scene is full of! --Well I guess if you know deep down she's worth it---Than you can only hope she is.

Taciturn

it's turned me off completely on dating "normal" women. i no longer pursue them. they must come to me and in effect argue their case as to whether i should bother to return their interest and/or affection. after 20 some odd years of wasting my time with them (for the most part) this hobby has taught me a very valuable (and costly) lesson which you will hear often bandied about around here: "free pussy is invariably the most expensive pussy in the final tally" (i've added some personal refinements to that phrase btw) and that final rack up takes into account both financial cost and emotional cost.

btw, for a guy who's TER handle is "taciturn" you sure don't seem very "reticent"

Since, being married, I'm not looking for relationships anyway, providers have "straight" or "normal" women beat all to hell as far as I'm concerned.  Few demands or head games and a 100% sure thing.  No contest.

Yeah Singleton, I guess I'm not really living up to my handler name. I'm just real big on researching. I do it with everything! I appreciate your advice! I'm real new to this and have only seen one real "provider" the first time was a total RIP-OFF! Now that I've had such a pleasurable experience with one I want to try them all! But at the same time budget wisely!

I think this hobby makes it easier for me to be around all women.  Because no matter what, I know I don't have to do without.  Its nice when people are there to lend you a helping hand.  It may not be free but if you know how to shop it can be reasonablly priced.

You hit it pretty close to on the head. At this time in my life, i don't have the desire to become involved in a steady relationship, and the bar scene has never really been my thing anyway. When i feel like i would like alittle companionship for an evening, this is the best way. I get what i want, the lady gets what she wants, and after we each return to our regular lives(if there is such a thing). In most cases, everyone seems to end up happy with how things turn out, and i have met some really great, intelligent ladys to boot.

Any questions as to my feelings about civilian women.

  It's odd; There is an honesty when...


   It's all about the money

     Cm

With reference to your assumptions about mortal women:

On Providers:
============
To be candid, some of the best times I have had in the past has involved taking a provider out for the evening as a social event and then engaging her services for 2-3 hours at the end of the evening.  I have found several wonderful ladies in the Boston area that are up for this sort of thing and it make for a good time for both of us (and profitable for the lady I might add).  

On Civilians:
============
Of late, my income has not permitted me to hobby as I would like, so I have taken to seeing a couple of "civilians" in my spare time.  While this has been delightful also, everyone of them seems to enjoy keeping the suggestions high and the performance low.  In short, plenty of tease, but no delivery.  As such, I have resigned myself to just enjoying the conversation for the time being and I have stopped pushing for anything more.  

Summary:
=======
Cost of the average evening out: about $100.00
Cost of the average "civilian" tease: about $150.00
Cost to my ego taking a "civilian" out: way-too-expensive
Savings by resigning to conversation-only "civilian" dates: great
Cost of an evening with a beautiful provider: priceless!

Footnote:
========
As soon as the income corrects itself, I whole-heartedly plan on spending quality time with Melinda and Lilly.  I have been dreaming of these two for months now and can't wait for the time to arrive.  I imagine Melinda being like a great "girlfriend from college" date.  Lilly is my fantasy of the strong, dominiate woman with a mind like a steel trap and a body made for sin.  I get shivers just thinking of these two in my future.

-- Modified on 7/13/2003 6:01:21 AM

Ahhh, Loathran- Be still my heart, sweety

I am looking forward to finally meeting you, as well

Mel

When I was about 18 I had my first social relationship with a provider.   They didn;t call themselves 'providers' back than.  She was a friend of a cocktail waitress and worked the bar when my girlfriend worked .... and I got to see the up close workings of the whole occdupation.  She told me once late one night that she and all of her sisters world-wide would be out of business in a heartbeat if the average American woman didn't think that her puss was made of solid gold.    She told me that every man is getting what he wants ... and if his wife isn't giving it then she [my friend] was.

I also got to know some of her working friends and see what they thought and how they worked and played.  Do they get hardened in their dealings with men over the years?   Yes.  But so do what you call 'vanilla' women.   So do men get about women. 'vanilla' and providers.    The difference is only that the pros tend to wear their attitude closer to the surface.

Take it from someone who's been there.   There's no such thing as 'normal' or 'vanilla' or anything else.   There's just people.  And here's a news flash for you:  YOU are, to  large degree, a product of your past relationships and 80% of what any relationship ever turns out to be is what YOU bring to it from past relationships.   The greatest philosophical quote of our time came from a comic strip called Pogo:

"Sir, we have met the enemy and he is us"

In this world, unless you're filthy rich or incredibly good looking women will tend to ignore you. I don't think they are all a bunch of ball busters, I just know that there is this simple truth to dealing with "picking up chicks". I make six figures and at least a few girls have called me handsome. But still I can't get the time of day from women sometimes in a social setting.

The whole complicated mess of meeting women has become just that. A complicated mess that too often ends up with me blowing all my hard earned dough chasing after a woman who just wants to be friends or just wants to talk.

While I never give up on the dream of meeting that special girl someday, sometimes I need to get laid now... not someday. A female comedian I once saw made a joke about how we guys are always in the dark on a date. We have to wonder if we're going to get lucky, while the woman already knows. And that's what this hobby is all about. Something as important as a man's libido should not be left up to the whims and reservations of a woman.

Well put Maxsmaert-I appreciate your advice!
-Taciturn

And I must say, I'm really pleased and tickled with the guys' answers. I hope my friend, and co-writer read this as it is helpful in the makings of "The Paper"..

Well, although the question wasn't asked of us ladies, I feel pretty much the same way about the men. I'm much more comfortable around either Hobbyists, men in the Lifestyle, or men who know I'm a Provider (only 1) and have noticed a big difference in speaking with my dentist (those of you who've seen my Dentist thread/s). It will be interesting to see how that plays out. At this point, you all are my preference, for the same reasons..

I love the freedom/s this Hobby gives me in talking about the things we do!

You can't always get what you want....

But if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.

It has definitely affected my relationships with other women.  I do see women as just people instead of needing to be put on a pedastal.  

Likewie, I am much, much less tolerant of female attitude.  I have been with providers who really enjoyed sex and viewed it as a fun game, which is the healthiest view of sex.  

Attitude from civilians is a waste of time.  A provider is deifnitely cheaper in the long run.