Here's a point I've been wondering about. How do you other hobbyists handle this situation?

You've found a prodvider that looks hot and she's available. Her ad says 100% satisfaction guaranteed, she knows how to make a man relax, the service says she is a popular lady, many return customers. You make all the arrangements. She shows up and after a brief introduction the business dealings are discussed. She refuses to talk about or answer any direct questions about what you can expect for the session which is about to set you back $300. So you take a chance and hand over the $$$. You ask for a BJ or a massage, or whatever... you ask, or you make a move for her breasts... and remember she already has your cash!

She suddenly sits back and says, "This is not full service" or "that's prostitution and that's illegal in this town". Whatever, she says something that makes it clear, no sex, no touching, no nothing. Your $300 was just to remiburse her for her time to sit around your place in her underwear for about 30 minutes.

What would you do? I've found myself in this situation more than once and belive me it's not a comfy place. Your hard earned cash is gone unless you're willing to take it back by force. Easily done but not recommended as she could now claim you assaulted and robbed her. I'm curious to know what others have done in such a situation. And for those who claim this never happens, I've got some swamp land in Lousiana for sale too!

Personally, I've had that happened a few times but not since finding TER. Do your homework and corroborate everything.

Happy hobbying as you move up "the learning curve".

I tend to view the whole escort-hobbyist enterprise as a business proposition. They're selling, and we're buying.

Point #1: As a business venture, the first thing to do is more "due diligence" than described above.  The best way to limit rip-offs is to only see providers reviewed on this site. But since you're here on this site, you're already doing that.

Point #2: When hormones and circumstances intervene and you feel compelled to take a flier without benefit of Point #1, then view the $X that you give the provider as completely expendable. If she's a "bait-and-switch" or ROB, the best that can happen is that you get your money back. The worst that can happen is: 1) you get injured, by her or her "driver"; 2) you injure her in anyway and she files a police report against you (she likely has your ID information).

Point #3: I would look on the money lost as simply a "business expense" that you have to write-off. In this case, the write-off is against some great experiences in this hobby that you've had in the past, and will again in the future. If you truly can't afford to lose the money, then you probably shouldn't be hobbying.

Point #4: Really fix her wagon by filing a TER review on her as a rip-off.

OK, all this advice makes me seem like a wuss. But in this litigious society, I tend to think a lot these days about liabilities.

Whether it takes you 1 hour to earn $$$ or whether $$$ is a day's wage--you have a real life and there is no need to push a provider who acts the way that you've described.  Go home, watch SNL or Mad TV and have a drink and a laugh!

Joey

Simply turning over $$$ in advance, without prior positive referrals, or oral assurances that the expected and expressed final outcome of the session will be as expected, but after given assurances that you are no LE risk, seems like a risky proposition to me. Consider getting prior agreement to solve the mutual lack of trust and insecurity by proposing that you tear each $-bill in half, giving her one half of each bill in advance and the remaining half upon completion. Each half is worthless to each of you without the other. If that proposition is declined, I would vote give her $5.- cab-fare and vote with my feet. If she does not appreciate your hesitation to pay up front without expressed assurances as to what you may expect, she is either a rip-off or dumb as a stick.

The first time I laughed and accepted it. The second time I grabbed her by the throat, told her the 2 choices were to hand back my money nicely with an apology or die (she politely handed back my money and said she was sorry). That is basically your choices. Gentlemen, I always thought I was a legit guy with a lot to lose (and I am), but guess she just caught me on a bad day. You do what you want, but I have decided that at 6'4", 275, I will no longer be a patsy. Next time I may just keep squeezing her throat just so that the word gets out that there are guys who will no longer take the BS and that there are consequences to every action. Figure that once the word gets around, there will be a lot fewer ROB.

DO NOT LET THIS GO!
DO NOT TOLERATE THIEVERY!
By tolerating it you are perpetuating it.
As you contact the agency, let them know you want to speak to the provider before she comes. If they say no and you still want to go through with it then negotiate before handing over all the cash. Pay her a little bit, show her the rest and then negotiate.
If she won't negotiate, show her the door.
Most of all, please post a review!
There are other follow-up actions that you can take to deter this behavior from occuring in the future to others.
Contact me via Email and I will advise you.
You were lied to, swindled and robbed. You can help stop this from happening again.

I agree with you.  I can't help but think of the circumstances that puts a hobbyist in this type of situation.  Definately, boards like TER reward accetable behavior.  Can you imagine the guy who goes out Firday and Saturday night, weekend after weekend, going after the same type of provider who acts this way.  Sounds more like he is trying to stop the pinkos and end communism!  

I guess at some point you have to decide how serious you want to take things.  

-- Modified on 12/24/2002 4:19:36 PM

Joey,
He has 5 reviews. He doesn't always get ripped off. My point is that when he does take a chance and gets jacked, he should report it so that the provider and that agency find it harder to do. It is selfish to condone it. We should help each other by issuing warnings.
Furthermore, in the long term this will make sure that the goddesses are rewarded and the thieves are not.
Happy Holidays,
TBS

"Taking one for the team" is what this is called, and the correct response is to report it here on TER so that we can avoid her.  You have some good experiences in your reviews which means that this doesn't happen often (even though once is enough!).  I have had my share of bad experiences, but since joining TER I have not had one with any provider I chose based on reviews here.

One more thing:  In today's e-world, my experience has been that the bulk of these problems has been  with disreputable agencies.  This is NOT a slam on all agencies, as I have found some very good ones, but I tend to gravitate toward the independent provider, and somehow I believe that this tends to limit the amount of bad situations you get into.  I hope your hobbying in the future is more enjoyable.

this one jerk stiffed me for everything. I was so pissed. I didn't want to cause a sceen, so I left. I have his address. I will visit his apartment when he leasts expects it.

On a side note, he calls me every couple of months asking me to forgive him and that he will "make it up to me". I told him to stop calling me (his # is restricted.)

And another thing, I personally wouldn't stiff anyone, that is wrong. You are providing a service and I tell the gentlemen up front what I do (likes & dislikes.) So there is no confusion.

Shaye

Choking the life force out of a thief may be a pleasant thought but in today's world I highly advise against such measures. Too dangerous.

I still belive any provider who shows up and takes this "no touch" or "how dare you proposition me!" attitude is a thief, plain and simple. I mean why do guys go to the trouble of setting up a session. If I wanted to be rejected or turned down all night I can go to any bar and 100's of girls will accomodate me for free. And there are countless nudie bars around where I can see naked women for only a few dollars and they will at least server me a cold beer.

I was hoping someone had a good come back, like a way to call the cops in without getting yourself in trouble. Since I'm not married and really don't care that my friends know I use prostitutes, I've never been afraid to involve LE if needed and did so on two different occasions when I was being ripped off. On one occassion the girl forked the money back over once she knew I was serious about calling the cops. On the other occassion the girl's driver got involved I literally had to defend myself in my own house. Again, once they say me pick up thew phone and dial 911, they split.

I do like the post about tearing the bills in half and telling her that she get's half now and the other half when the job is through.

I am glad for sites like TER because they at least give you some insight before the girl shows up. But even using the TER reviews I have had the old B&S pulled twice and one girl pulled the "no touching" scene on me. It's one of those things that you never know until the situation arises. I think the 50% now and 50% later approach is what I will try. If she doesn't go for it, then she's probably up to no-good and I'm better off stiffing her.

BTW: 5$ won't cut it. Most girls will ask for $100 cancellation fee. When you refuse to pay it they will get their agency on the phone and they (the agency) will start harrassing you saying they will black ball you in this town and never send over anymore providers. It always amazes me the gall some people have after just trying to rip you off.

I don't know if I can agree with your solution, although you size is very impressive.  I have a lot of respect for high quality providers.  These are the types of women who make being a hobbyist fun.  But on the other hand there are those providers that are out for a quick buck and enjoy ripping people off.  Let's say while you're proforming your solution, she pulls out a gun, you have to hurt her, one of a thousand things may happen that bring in Imperial entanglements, entanglements that would be meanlingless in her pathetic life, but could really send you into a loop.  Hardly seems worth it to me for a $$$.

Either way, this hobby is what you make it.  Definately, you're the man and you can do what you want.  Like you said and I agree.  If you follow reviews things are a lot more easier!

Joey

You are commiting several felonies.  As much as I hate rip-offs, she would have been justified in calling the police and pressing charges!  Your next good time could be from your cellmate!

The Gyppo Man

I have to agree with Gyppo. Grabbing the lady by the throat (!) is really a bad way to handle things. If your lawyer's secretary gave you an inflated bill and then refused to admit her mistake and lower the fees, would you strangle her or would you call the cops? I'd imagine you'd go for the latter, and at the risk of sounding parental, things shouldn't be any different with a crooked SP. Threatening to narc her out to her agency, the cops and the internet community is really the best thing you can do, and you can at least walk away from the situation with a clear conscience.

Excuse me! What is said and unsaid on a first date is everything.  If you are trying to elicit self incrimanating statements from a provider and she's legitimate, you have probably set off LE alarms within her. We all want mutual assurances. Knowing what to say and not to say are HUGE. There are no iron clad guarantees if you are seeing someone who is not realiably reviewed. You know that going in. Therefore, we all have to use an element of risk or trust. That goes for the provider as well as the client. There are no ironclad guarantees unless you do your homework. And even then, YMMV. That's my spin on things and that isn't going to change.

he was an idiot for asking questions that could get him arrested if she was a cop and her arrested if he was a cop ..so no wonder  he gets ripped off he is too stupid

-- Modified on 12/28/2002 3:24:06 PM

Pay only in counterfeit bills - just kidding of course.

By the way, there's a great scene in "Catch Me If You Can" about a check forger who has an opportunity to sleep with a hot model (momentarily turned provider).  She asks for $1000 (circa 1965!) but has only has a $1400 "cashiers check" (forged).  She happily accepts the check and hands over $400 in change!  How's that for turning the tables?  Getting paid to bang some hot chick would be the ultimate experience!

  i am sorry to say that does happen quite often....and providers do get ripped off too....i have had that happen to me....and there is not really one thing you can do about....or no shows....and it gives providers that are sincere a bad name....but there are those provers who really give you what you paid for....and you came back again....and i agree you should put their name on here....so others will be warned....and go elsewhere and have a great time....

  always,
     jez....

Oh to be so lucky in the hobby as to encounter such an encounter. Get paid $400 to have sex with a Cindy Crawford look alike. Yeah Baby!

I'm not so much into the pay-back stuff because we all must be adults about what happens to us in life. And knowing first hand that revenge really does not taste sweet keeps this guy in check from now on. But if I could figure a way to get paid while I had sex, I'd bottle it and make a fortune.