: TER General Board Discussion : Revealing personal appearance issues before a first encounter...

jelloman42 10 Reviews 980 reads

posted 10 years ago

1 / 22

Revealing personal appearance issues before a first encounter...

I've told the story here a couple times but I need to repeat it for context...

About a year ago I weighed 400 pounds...I'm 5-8 so 400 put me at a BMI over 60...I signed into a Bariatric program and had most of my stomach removed in August 2015, a procedure called a Sleeve Resection...to date I have lost 165 pounds, weighing in at 235...

I was lucky in the fact that my skin retained a high level of elasticity, but when you lose that much weight that quickly if course there is going to be a considerable amount of loose and hanging flesh...not nearly as bad as some I've seen but certainly not attractive...

My tendency when contacting a provider for the first time is to inform them of my condition, usually with a bit of self-deprecation...so far none have turned me down, but I have to wonder if there are some providers who would...

Providers, would being informed of my body issues have an effect on your decision to see me? Would you refuse out of hand regardless of my other qualities?

Clients, do you tend to inform your providers of any similar issues? Have you been turned down because of them?

Gemma Coreana See my TER Reviews 287 reads

posted 10 years ago

2 / 22

Congrats on losing the weight.....

You should be proud of yourself for losing all that weight... And what's the reasoning for notifying anyone, it's not like your dating them, your paying for a service. I've had a client that also lost a lot of weight & was very self conscience about extra skin & would tell me he was going to get rid of it.. To me it doesn't matter, I'm providing a service so whomever walks through my door is treated with the upmost respect. Just my 2 cent.

jelloman42 10 Reviews 171 reads

posted 10 years ago

3 / 22

I tell them because I am self-conscious...

...and I tend to be a little uncomfortable at the beginning...that goes away pretty quick, though...plus I don't want them to be disappointed or uncomfortable with me...

jelloman42 10 Reviews 151 reads

posted 10 years ago

4 / 22

Thank you...yes I am very proud...

...and can honestly say that I am not the same person I was one short year ago..

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 214 reads

posted 10 years ago

5 / 22

That is one hell of an accomplishment.

I'm trying to lose 15 more lbs, and it ain't easy - but 165? Wow!

I think it's awesome that you did that, but if it's something you want to make sure is OK I think you're doing the right thing by asking. Really for your own comfort than anybody's. We all want to know that our date is going to like us

NaomiVargas See my TER Reviews 206 reads

posted 10 years ago

6 / 22

That's awesome! Go You!

Congrats, to a happier and healthier you. I think it's great, the strides you've made to improve yourself.

And, if you were a client of mine; I'd appreciate the upfront honesty on your part. And it's not a "must" that you inform the provider but I think it's best to give her an idea so she can make you as comfortable as possible and show you a really rocking time! Rather than you thinking & feeling self conscious (which may affect your performance and then ultimately your experience)or awkward; it's been discussed and its old news. Time for new business, let the good times roll

Related Link: Naomi Ann Vargas

jelloman42 10 Reviews 156 reads

posted 10 years ago

7 / 22

Exactly, Courtney!...eom

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jelloman42 10 Reviews 167 reads

posted 10 years ago

8 / 22

I'm going!... eom

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BigPeterJohnson 38 Reviews 138 reads

posted 10 years ago

9 / 22

congrats dude

that's quite a great accomplishment.

in answer to your question, you may know i have just recovered from major lung surgery. i am a little slower than before. the ladies i have booked in the next month all know about my travails and i assume will react accordingly (in other words, i assume no one will be expecting reverse standing double doggy...)

keep up the good work!!

Newto1000 275 reads

posted 10 years ago

10 / 22

Please visit

Please come to my liposuction clinic and I can guarantee you will look like you lost 25 lbs. by the end of the day. Maybe I am old-fashioned but why are we congratulating folks that have major body improvements by medical procedures or other enchancements. This guy lost 165 lbs. because they removed his stomach. Not a lot of willpower involved when your appetite is basically zip. Maybe, he should be applauded for undergoing a risky operation (although he might not have had a choice) and dealing with all the side effects, which are not insignificant.

GaGambler 222 reads

posted 10 years ago

11 / 22

Nice job shitting on his parade

and I suppose your liposuction clinic is a mecca for people with willpower.

I'm one of the biggest pricks on the board and even I will give him kudos for taking control of his life and losing the equivalent of an entire person.

I freely admit to being an arrogant prick/asshole, but what's your excuse for shitting on the guy for taking control of his life? Or rather than answer, why don't you simply GFY

TwoMints 211 reads

posted 10 years ago

12 / 22

Speaking as someone

who also has loose skin and stretch marks (a lot) I've never mentioned it prior to a date. I didn't have surgery, I just decided I was sick of being fat. Lost about 120. I've since put some of it back on. (30 or so) It isn't easy.

Just keep working at it. Start exercising and even consider cosmetic surgery when you reach a more ideal weight.

Good call on the surgery if that's the only way you could do it. It's better then being grossly obese and dead.

Yes, if you are grossly obese and it's the last option, the surgery is the way to go. Trust me, losing 40% of your body weight or more by exercising (small part of it) and simply eating less isn't a lot of fun

GaGambler 229 reads

posted 10 years ago

13 / 22

I've never been fat, I doubt I have ever been more than 15 lbs over my "ideal" weight

but as I get older it is harder and harder to maintain my waist line and I've had to change my eating habits, (and quit drinking beer) just to keep those 10 pounds or so at bay. I can only imagine a guy who loves good food and drink as much as I do ever having to lose serious weight.

I seriously hope I never have to find out.

-- Modified on 3/3/2016 3:46:53 PM

BigPeterJohnson 38 Reviews 185 reads

posted 10 years ago

14 / 22

actually i just lost 120 lbs of unwanted weight

she left me!

VOO-doo 196 reads

posted 10 years ago

15 / 22

I wouldn't care...

You seem like a sweet guy, and your story is inspiring as well as endearing.

I care about what it's like to spend time with a guy, not how closely he resembles an Abercrombie model. I don't expect my clients to be "hot" nor do particularly I care if they are... I DO, however, care whether or not they are nice, interesting, intelligent, considerate, etc. If that criteria is satisfied, and I have a good time with you... there is a high likelihood that I will find you attractive in spite of any physical issues.

If it's something that could interfere with performance, I might want to know beforehand... but, I've been surprised by everything from ED to morbid obesity to Parkinson's to a proclivity for hard-core BDSM... none of which I was prepared for. Part of my job is to deal with all of those things I'd never be able to prepare for, even if I tried to.

But, if you feel that you need to mention it, in order to feel better - and to get it out of the way, so that you can forget about your apprehensions during session - then by all means, let her know.

If she does turn you down, you were likely better off not seeing her, anyway.

jelloman42 10 Reviews 160 reads

posted 10 years ago

16 / 22

Thank you Peter...

...and best wishes for your recovery...

jelloman42 10 Reviews 158 reads

posted 10 years ago

17 / 22

Re: Speaking as someone

Thanks, man...and my best to you in your efforts as well...

jelloman42 10 Reviews 185 reads

posted 10 years ago

18 / 22

You get me...thanks!

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jelloman42 10 Reviews 163 reads

posted 10 years ago

19 / 22

I can't say "fuck you" any better than that...eom

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Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 194 reads

posted 10 years ago

20 / 22

You need some surgery

on your attitude. Come back after you're done whining when it hurts

scoed 8 Reviews 159 reads

posted 10 years ago

21 / 22

Thank you for posting this.

I too have been losing weight. 170 LB so far and counting. I did it by going to lots of OA meetings, diet and exercise. I have over the last six months starting to have plenty of unsightly loose skin. I don't tell providers prebooking. I figure if they were willing to tolerate 420 LB scoed in the sack loose skin 250 LB scoed should be OK. Nether version is hot or appealing but at least the 250 LB me can crush them as easily. I also have more endurance, preform better, and my willy is functionally a half inch longer (I have a small one a half inch has opened up a few positions I just couldn't do well before). All pluses. I found looks usually are less important than cleanliness, the donation, and how you treat them. Most of us clients aren't the hottest of studs. The ladies know it and accept it and make us feel great any way.

Of course I am a bit of a hypocrite in this. I am a bit shy about certain physical imperfections. I get the worry. I have my own. Let the ladies show you what kind of stud you are becoming. Be proud of the fact you lost the weight and don't sweat the spare skin. It is better than a spare 165 LBs. Congratulations! You should be proud of your weight loss. I know I am. It isn't easy. You literally have to rewrite who you are.

If you are wondering yes there is likely a lady somewhere who will turn you down. There are ladies who refuse guys that are too fat, too old, too young, of a certain ethnicity, too big a dick, too small a dick, and yes men that are too hot. Don't worry about a small group of providers you likely will never run into. No matter wat there will be a pro somewhere that will tell you no. Life is too short to give a fuck about that when there are numerous ladies perfectly happy to show you a great time.

Again congratulations! It is hard to do what you done! Feel proud. I am of my weight loss. It is not easy. It takes reinventing of oneself to do what you have done. Congrats.

jelloman42 10 Reviews 152 reads

posted 10 years ago

22 / 22

Thanks and respect, scoed...

Congratulations to you for your accomplishments... I rode the diet yo-yo for years before finally making the decision to go for the surgery...for me it wasn't as much to lose weight as to keep it from coming back...

Another factor was the fact that I spent about 5 years functionally impotent... The weight loss coupled with other improved health factors resulted in a restoration of function about 8 months ago...that's when I started in the "hobby"...

There's a legend that you gain an inch back for every 50 pounds lost...I may not have quite achieved that but I can tell you that the legend is indeed true...

Thanks again...