In reading post to Celticlass's question about friendship and providers many guys mentioned examples of their AFT this and their AFT that.  I have been in the hobby for three years but only found TER three months ago.  Until than I never heard of ATF or DATY for that matter (glad I found out about that I love it)but anyway there wasn't mention of AFT's so I was wondering are many hobbyist finding girlfriends in their search for pleasure.  It sure sounds like it.

What is an AFT to you guys,  someone you see, what, more than say three times or someone you see three or for times a month for months on end.  Is an AFT someone you see for drinks or diner off the clock or someone who gives you a deep discount.

I see references to AFTs on threads all the time but I really have no idea what makes someone an AFT.  And can you have more than one "All Time Favorite" at a time?  Isn't that "All Time Favorites" and that seems to be something different.

I would also like to know what providers think an AFT is.  How many clients would you say see you as an AFT at any given time. Don't worry we should be able to take it if some of you say ten or more. lol

-- Modified on 8/5/2003 1:28:36 AM

For me an ATF  is one i connect with. I have my all time favorite and she knows who she is...its hard to explain..This is a lady i feel its not all biz. I enjoy every minute with her..I guess if i had to wrap it up it would be my atf is someone i totally trust in every way and i personally feel she feels the same,
Sham.
ok..bellhopper...start your bashing lol.

Sham, how often do you see her compared with other providers you see?  Are your times with her usually longer than with others and do you do other things with her ie; diner, movies, etc.?

well...i spent a week with her on vacation, it was total paradise...and we were so in sync just like an old married couple...but then again i lucked out

Baylee Lefever...........we took a helicopter ride over the Vegas strip at night, during our last trip there. She was hanging on for dear life, but that look on her face, the excitement, joy, and just a wee bit of apprehension........I have never seen a woman look more beautiful. MfSD.

My question is, Do you think that if you no longer had money to spend on her she would still be your friend? Chances are not good. You can be friends and she will be all you want as long as she is accomodated. Take that away and you will see you are nothing more then a trick my friend. The lady likes you, yes for now.

I have 4.  For 4 different reasons, each, IMO, equally valid.  For me.  This is purely subjective and many posters here may disagree, but for me I feel it's OK.  Here's why they're ATF's:

1.  My first ATF, now retired unfortunately, receives that title because she is able to plug into my emotions the very same way my late wife was able to.   She possesses the ability to empathize with me and make me feel special and wanted.  We are still friends and I suspect will be for many years to come.

2.  This gal is simply put an absolute pleasure to spend time with.  Bright, intelligent, extraordinarily classy and I have a level of comfort and trust with her that is unsurpassed.

3.  This lady, simply put, has magical sexual and healing powers.  She is the one woman who has the power (Yeah! POWER!) to totally relax and excite me simultaneously. She's fun to talk to and be with.

4.  This young lady, in a word, is as close to nymphomaniac as I have ever encountered.  A nice gal, much younger than my usual "date", she simply exudes a sexuality that is hard to find in other providers. Her skills are unbelievable.  Her stamina and energy are Olympic in nature.  And she tastes great!

How often do I see them?  Not very, unfortunately.  They don't live near me, so I travel to them from time-to-time to visit. In a way I glad they're far away. It makes meeting up with them that much more exciting.

I don't know if this is helpful to you, or if I even answered your question as it was posed.  Just my 2 cents.

F.

Thanks for the replies, but you two are sharing about great times you have had with a provider.  But what about you and the hobby during these times.  Do you see other providers, if so how often conpared to you AFT?  Is some or most of your time with your AFT doing things, other than having sex, off the clock?

Shamrocker, sounds like that vacation may have been a true once in a lifetime experience, but even at the lower end of TER provider rates it would have had to cost you at least $15 grand.  Did you really pay that or were you with a "girl friend."

The reason I am asking all this is that three years ago I saw my first provider ever on a business trip.  She was young, cute and sexy but the experience left me feeling pretty empty afterwards.
The next night I had a blind date with another provider chosen by my friends provider from the night before who he wanted to see again.  We met for diner, went out to a club, back to the Condo and she spent the night.  I had never heard of the term, but on the second try at the hobby (which I also had never heard of) I had found my AFT.  But I thought I had just fallen in love.

I traveled there twice a month for two or three days at a time and always saw her.  And she would always spend at least one night with me.  To make this happen her rate went from $150 p/h
to $250 per day. This lasted for over a year.  I just assumed I was the only one who fucked up like this seeing a provider.  But now after three months on TER I see guys talking about their AFT all the time and wonder if maybe there are thousand of guys out there like me.  Although I saw other providers when ever I was in her town (her idea as much as mine) I never felt the same way about any of them.  With others it was just sex, don't get me wrong some great sex, but nothing like I felt with her.

Do you guys have the same feeling about your AFT?  Do you see other providers, do you feel like you are cheating on her?  And most important if she is a true AFT (what ever that means) how do you feel when you think about her being with other guys?  

And providers, what do you feel about guys having an AFT?  Are they just regulars in you mind or are they something else.  Is there some mid way point for you between client and boyfriend?  How many of you would go on a weeks vacation with a client and what would you charge?

I'm beginning to think a lot of guys in this hobby really have found a girlfriend and I wonder how many if any providers feel the same way?

Looking forward to your responses.

-- Modified on 8/5/2003 10:15:54 AM

-- Modified on 8/5/2003 11:09:08 AM

Yes, I have more than one ATF also.  Much like fortitude, I have different reasons for each woman.  I had 3 at one time.  I've known one for almost 2 years now.  We've become friends, and seem to compliment each other.  It's a very satisfying relationship.

I say you'll know it when you find an ATF.  I did.

tennis

For me the term ATF does not mean someone you think of as your girlfried or someone you're wanting to become that, nor does it mean that you see her exclusive of all others so there's never been a thought in my mind about it being cheating on my ATF when I see another gal.  Hell, the other side of that particular coin is I'd have to then feel she was cheating by seeing other guys. I'm too much of a realist to travel that rough road.  LOL

ATF is actually something of a misnomer in many cases.  As someone else has posted, it's possible to have more than one & none for exactly the same reasons.  I don't think the term should be taken too literally...there are others that might be more accurately descriptive but there's no need to attempt reinventing the wheel.  

I've had other fav's as well, but only one true ATF (by my own definition) for some time.  Simply put, she's the one I look forward to seeing the most--the one I'd like to see last if I were going to be out of commission for a while & the first I'd want to see when I returned to action.  And while the sex with her is certainly great, it's only part of it.  I enjoy the time we spend just hanging out & chilling too.  We're completely at ease with each other & seem to relate really well in all the ways that are important.  So sure, there's some off-clock time involved too.  And she's one of the two-three gals I was thinking of when I replied to CelticLass's friendship thread.    

Great frequency doesn't necessarily have to be part of my definition, just regularity over a period of time is more meaningful.  Discounts shouldn't be an issue but they are among the things to be appreciated when offered..but not to be asked for or expected.      

Was one of the most memorable times of being an escort and I believe it's one of those things we're always hoping for. It started out very slowly on his part. Our first & second dates were 3 hr dates then he invited me to his home for a weekend. After that, we were like high school sweethearts calling each other daily and bantering with each other all the time until our next encounter.  We saw each other for extended weekends for a period of 6 months. We were both single so it wasn't any family problems involved.  We started out as client escort then became friends then became lovers and in love with one another.

The monetary gift giving never stopped basically because I always said "I need an allowance" and that was my way of letting him know they're always a value associated with my presence. I believe men wouldn't be so responsive continuing the chase if their wasn't something of value involved.

I continued escorting and touring because I felt secured knowing if he saw other escorts and I saw other gents, our hearts lie with each other. This wasn't true because I believe what broke our relationship up in the end was his jealously from reading reviews even though he knew he was the only one that held the key to my heart.

I echo Fortitude's sentiments.  For me, it is about connecting with a person on intellectual, "emotional," and sensual levels.  Intelligence, playfulness and sense of humor (I love a great laugh) are wonderful aphrodisiacs.  There is nothing sexier than a smart, funny, worldly woman

I definitely have more than one ATF.  Unfortunately, my first ATF is now retired.  She was certainly a fabulous lady and I was glad to know her.  Very recently, I met a new lady who is no doubt one of my new ATFs.  Attractive, funny (great laugh), eyes you get lost in and a super sensual side are some of her great attributes.

Happy hunting all.

What is my definition of my ATF?   TO  me it is more than jsut the sexual experience.  I have had my ATF since late last year.  If I have a choice she is the one I want to go on trips with.  She is the one I want to wake up with in the mornings.  We go dancing, to shows, have dinner, go sight seeing.  In general what you would do with a girlfriend or a wife.
I get a discount but it is not free.  She has made it clear she does not want a boy friend.  When she needs to make money, she doesn't see me because she doesn't charge me enough to make it worth her while.

I was monogamous with her for awhile but then started seeing other people at urging of fellow TER members.  The sex iwth others has been good but I don't have the same emotional contact although I have had some great conversations.  She has had some tough times lately and I have shared some of that with her emotionally but not financially.

She is my ATF, I would doubt I am her ATF simply because I don't spend as much on her as others do.  She does initiate things though so I suppose there must be something I am giving her she lacks although it is unclear exactly what that is although it sure isn't money.

I suppose the big issue is whether an ATF alters how you deal with the other people in your life.  Thank God, like some of the others, my ATF lives on the other coast who limits the amount of time we spend together.  When I first met her, I liked to see her monthly, now I am content to talk to her via e-mail or phone and just see her when times are right.

I am really not sure whether having an ATF is really such a good thing.  I think about all the great providers out there, why should I spend all my resources on just one or two.
An ongoing dilemma.

I had written an input, and then I read yours.  I agree, but you said it all much better.

A true "ATF" is a different category, more than a "provider", different from a "girl friend".

A week? How much was that?

I would have to concur with the above posts in that what makes
an ATF for me is the fact that this provider is one who I have
this fantastic chemistry with, She lives on the south coast so
I don't get to see her as much as I would prefer, I talk to her
on the phone and emails fairly often. I never got much of a
chance to do things with her on her visits here due to the
lack of time that she has while here. But I would gladly escort
her around for some fun and relaxing times if time permitted.
She is the one person that I have this solid trust with. We
share much about our personal selfs without any fear what so
ever.

Orthodx, sure sounds fimilar.  I know my friend in Cabo lost money when ever I was in town, but she never once refused to see me and I know a couple of times she canceled an appointment to be with me.  

Your situtation sounds as much like a girlfriend as mine.  I am beginning to think a lot of hobbyist are in the same situtation but just don't want to admit it to themselves.

Still have not heard from any providers.  I really would like to know how you gals feel about the AFT thing among us guys.

Slowstart

I don't think I am anyone's ATF.

And for that fact know how to become one. I think you just need to connect with each other, enjoy each others company and be able to do and say anything.

I myself would have a hard time taking money gifts from someone that really enjoyed and wanted to be with me often.

I have meet allot of clients though this site, most of them just to talk to, and have become friends with a few. I know if I was even stuck in there home town they would be there for me, not because they think they can get a piece, but because we have build a friendship her on TER.

When I was in LA I meet two of the gentlemen that either chat or post on this board for dinner, they were both very nice to me.

Rick took me site seeing after wards and we had a great time. If it wasn't for the fact something I ate bothered me so I'm sure we could have had allot more fun.

"An ATF to me if what you see it to be in your own mind and no one person can tell you how to feel about another."

                ATF = "Always true Friends"
Hugs,
Tammy




-- Modified on 8/5/2003 10:32:34 PM

Yeah, I don't know about that.

This is really my second time around being a hobbyist.  The first time I was single and just really looking for good sex with different women and nothing else.  My ATF was gal at a spa who wuld sit in a hot tub with me, heave sex in the tub and then introduced me to greek.  I didn't know her real name and I didn't care.  When I went to te spa I only saw her but eventually she went away and I didn't really care.

Then I got married to nice lady, had a couple of kids and tried to remain faithful, had a couple of affairs, got separated, moved back in for the kids.  Started hobbying again because the sex wasn't good, and I still have one kid not out of the house.

Met my ATF purely by accident last year.  had researched her on TER and lucked out and booked an appt with her.  It was just supposed to be about the sex and the look she had.  Hit it off on a number different levels, she stayed longer than she was supposed to, then came back.  Because she lives so far away, started booking overnights which were great at about her two hr rate.  Can't stay in bed all the time so we do stuff which I like to do but my wife doesn't.  

Would I consider her wife material? Well, have no idea as to domestic skills, livability day in and day out.  I couldn't maintain the live style she currently has as a high end escort who travels overseas.  I tell her I wouldn't want to compete at that level so that is why I don't think about being her ATF.

But the point is at one point in my life, My ATF was simply  about sex but now my ATF is really more about the GFE  rather than just the sex.

I don't know what to think the providers in general think about the situation.  I am sure welcome the emotional connection, some will exploit it for money, and a few may even end up dating.  I am sure it is hard to create a GFE experience for all clients without some emotional respsonse to the client particularly if the client rings some bell for the provider.  Hard to say, I try to look at it through her eyes and quite frankly, I don't see what she gets out of it sometimes.

I think even the most hardcore belivers of IAAIM have some emotional connection with their ATF.  IT really is a confusing and at times uncomfortable subject.

Nuff said for now.  I think if I ever get this solved will be time to grab the hot kettle in my forearms open the door and walk away from TER

Sounds like your looking for love in all the wrong places.  My ATF was (   ), then it was (   ) and soon it will be (   ).  My ATF was a 76 Camero with a 350 and a 4 BBL carb.  Then I feel in love with my Porsche 914.  I am thinking my next love will be  a Boxster.  Now that is love.  They don't lie, cheat, steal or play games.  And you can trade them in.  If you don't think they will keep you warm at night turn on the heater.

in the middle lane because of all the people in the left lane who are there because they have a right to be there, still nothing like having your ATF cum while you are datying or letting go a load as you look into her eyes.

Orthodx, I have no idea what you are saying, but it sounds great!

Sorry I didn't read the spitural adviser of the free world or I would have known what you ment.  Rick777 see you at the prono shoot Sat.  You only get three girls this time.  Rest UP!