At age 4 success is   . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

Most charming.

And you know, suddenly your bowel movements take on such meaning - the day revolves around it!
Delightful..

If you're much over 80 and CAN pee in your pants, maybe you should consider yourself lucky enough to be out away from a bed and a catheter (YUCK!!!)